All Grown Up Ch. 01

"Gonna make it upstairs okay?"

I felt him standing in front of me as I sunk down on the bottom step of the stairs and leaned over some to hug my knees. Rocking at that point seemed like a good idea to try to stop the turmoil going on inside of me. I managed to say, "I ... I don't think so," and hugged my knees closer. I could feel my blonde hair spilling out across my shoulders to pool some on the floor around my feet.

Ryan squatted down in front of me and I could feel his gentle hand brush some of my hair back from my face some as he said, "Why don't you just camp out in one of the downstairs bathrooms then? I'll be around if you need anything."

I managed to nod, gulping in some fresh air to calm my stomach. I knew I shouldn't have mixed drinks but stupidity got the best of me that night. "I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit and be still." More than anything, I just was trying to control the urge to just throw up and get it over with.

He squeezed my hand gently in reply. "Okay," he said softly, the hint of a smile in his voice. "I'll be around," and with that, he stood up and walked over to some of his friends sitting on the couch closest to where I sat.

As he sat down, one of his closest friends looked at him before asking, "So, what's the story, Ryan?"

Ryan looked at him, a confused look on his face but at the same time, having a feeling he knew exactly what his friend meant. "Whatd'ya mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean," said Alex. "What's going on with you and Mannie?"

And with that simple statement, Ryan began to open his thoughts to them, since they were his closest friends in the fraternity. He tried to explain how, in his mind, we were just too close to be anything other than friends. He managed to let out that he did want something more in a round about way but then changed abruptly to vent about how he wasn't the one trying to protect me but that I was doing it myself. Something about how I was protecting myself by never making a move on a guy "officially" unless I was drunk. Of course, I never hear this from Ryan himself, but it managed to get back to me later.

I leaned some against the railing of the stairs, starting to feel a bit better but knew that I better lay off the drinks and dancing for a bit. Looking up, I saw one of my friends coming close with a steaming cup of coffee. "Damn, Amanda," she managed to say, scolding me at the same time. "You kinda went off the deep end tonight. Ryan's really getting to you, huh?"

I looked at her with this incredulous confused look on my face as I reached out to the coffee mug from her hand. "Whad'ya mean? Ryan's got nothing to do with it," I managed to retort. But she only gave me one of those "knowing" smiles and headed off in the other direction. I spent the next ten minutes slowly sipping on the coffee that she left, glancing over to where Ryan continued to sit with his buddies. I could tell by the look on his face that the conversation he was having was not really making him happy and I couldn't help but wonder if it was somehow about me.

Thinking I must look a mess, I decided now was as good of a time as any to try standing. Steadying myself with the railing, I slowly stood, taking a deep breath before I slowly started up the stairs to the nearest bathroom to freshen up some.

Ryan noticed a bit later that Amanda had taken off but assumed that she had gone to one of the downstairs bathrooms. He made his way upstairs, all the arguing with his friends starting to frustrate him and he walked unknowingly into the bathroom next to the one where Amanda was to wash his face. Taking a deep breath to steady himself with his hands on the sink, he stood quietly looking in the mirror at himself, letting his mind wander to Amanda.

Splashing a bit of cold water on my face, I used my fingers to comb through my hair as I looked into the mirror for a moment. "I must not have changed much," I said softly to myself. "He still sees me as this gangly, geeky little sister."

Ryan happened to pass right by the open door to the girls' bathroom as I spoke and I turned slightly to catch the frown on his face as he leaned against the framework of the door. "Last time I checked, you were neither geeky or my little sister," he said.

I wasn't sure what to say. I'm sure that my face registered the shock I felt at seeing him there and I could feel my eyes widen as a soft blush kissed my cheeks. "Ryan," I managed to say, "Where did you come from?"

He turned his head some, thumbing back over his shoulder and down the hall. "Uhh, the hallway?" he teased as his head turned back to me, sporting that grin that I loved on his face. "Or, were you talking about Chris?" He stood some like he was going to leave, amusement dancing in his eyes as he saw yet another chance to get my goat. "I can go get him if you want. He seems to want you pretty bad."

I just looked at him for a moment, highly embarrassed that he had caught me wishing things were different between us. Getting a serious look on my face, I managed to somehow say, "If you don't think I'm geeky or see me as a sister, then how come you don't ever ..." I faltered a moment, not really sure what it was that I wanted to say. "You know ..."

Ryan shook his head gently, laughing as he walked into the bathroom where I was and reached out for my hand to bring to his lips. "Hit on you?" he finished for me.

I could feel the blush growing hot in my cheeks as I watched his lips move over my hand. All I could do was nod, somewhat speechless for the first time around a guy. I couldn't help but wonder why with him I was suddenly turning so shy. "Yes," I managed to whisper.

Ryan arched his eyebrow. "Yes? Just yes?" he asked. "What happened to the girl grinding into half my fraternity brothers, right before standing up and leaving them all aching with a hard on?" I could see the amusement dancing in his gorgeous eyes.

My mouth dropped some as I just looked at him. "I wasn't ... GRINDING into anyone!" I protested but the look on his face was enough to scare me into thinking maybe I had pissed him off a bit. I was curious. I wanted to know what he really thought. My head tilted slightly before adding with a soft voice, "Are you jealous?"

His smile went kinda lopsided as he quipped back, "Yes you were." And then after a moment, added, "Maybe a little ..."

"Maybe a little jealous or maybe a little grinding?" I pushed for an answer.

"Jealous," he admitted, lifting my hand again to his lips.

I couldn't help but smile as he held my hand to his lips. My fingers reflexively reached out to touch them as if they were my own, gently caressing them in a soft touch as my own lips seemed to part naturally. At that moment I wanted him to kiss me more than anything. "Maybe I did it on purpose," I admitted.

"Oh?" Ryan said, both his eyebrows arching at her words. "So, what you're saying," he said, letting go of her hand slowly and walked to her side, his gaze locked with her as he moved in behind her, his fingers moving to caress the nape of her neck gently, "is that you've had feelings, but never told me. Instead, you have aimed for five years to drive me into a jealous rage?" He smiled to himself as his fingers moved from her into her hair.

I shivered helplessly, a soft mewing sound erupting as I felt his hands on the back of my neck and hair. The sensation alone sent a tremble down my spine as I barely choked out, "Well you never acted jealous ..." It felt like my legs were going to buckle beneath me.

Ryan sighed softly as he sat on the countertop and I joined him. He bent over some, his arms resting on his knees as he turned his head to look at me. "No, I guess I haven't been jealous per say ... more like protective of people taking advantage of you," he tried to explain. "I've just always hoped you would find someone you liked and that was good enough for you. In high school, I had a girlfriend, so you were always just ... my best friend." He stopped for a moment, our eyes meeting and I offered a small smile as he continued. "College ... it's been different. But I still cared tons about you. I guess it's just been this year that I've really noticed the changes in you."

I looked at him. My legs still trembled some just from his simple touch and I was glad to be sitting down as I searched his face for a moment. A soft smile touched my lips as I admitted, "Well, I've noticed you far longer than just this year."

He moved a hand to my knee, rubbing it gently with his fingers as he glanced down for a moment. "Well now that we have this out in the open, do you want to go back downstairs, or what?" he asked.

I felt my gaze go to his hand on my knee and then to his face. I could feel my heart pounding a million miles a minutes. "What if I said that I didn't want to go back downstairs?" I ventured, watching his face for a reaction.

He shrugged some, his face not revealing any emotion as he said, "Well, you've crashed in my room before. You're more than welcome to do it again." And then he smiled at me, a glimmer appearing in his eyes as he added, "Although tonight, I don't plan on sleeping somewhere else."

I felt a flutter in my belly, knowing exactly what his unspoken words could mean. I momentarily thought about how I had never been with a guy before but also knew that he had no way of knowing that or ... maybe he did. My hand reached out, covering his with mine on my knee as our fingers laced together. "I don't want you to sleep anywhere else," I finally admitted in a soft voice.

He smiled and leaned close to me, his lips gently touching mine as our eyes met. "I'm not ... suggesting anything serious," he said, genuinely concerned about my well-being. "I'm not trying to get into your pants or bra," he said with a grin. "I just like the idea of ... well, being with you. Whatever that entitles."

My heart felt like it was going to fly right out of my chest through the way of my throat as he leaned into kiss me. I suddenly turned to him, one hand reaching up to slide over his cheek as I leaned into the kiss, pressing mine fully to his. I hoped that he could feel just how much I wanted to be with him as my lips parted for his tongue.

He kissed me back, deeply at first and then after a few moments let his tongue search out mine. Ryan's mind was reeling as his heart jack hammered inside his chest. I couldn't help but moan softly into his mouth, having experimented with some boys before but never letting it get too far and NEVER with the feelings that I had about Ryan. I was trembling as my tongue darted out to taste his for the first time.

Ryan smiled ever so gently as he turned on the water beside us, filling his hand and then suddenly, in a light moment to break the tension that was between us, splashed it onto my shirt as he broke the kiss. I gasped sharply as he pulled away and stood up with a grin. The moment was broken and gone as I looked down, horrified as the water stain quickly revealed my hardening nipples beneath the braless top. I could tell by the incredulous look on Ryan's face that he was very appreciative of the sudden view I was giving him.

"Ryan!" I screamed.

He laughed hard, grabbing a towel and tossed it at me as he shook his head. "Hey, that's YOUR fault! I was just playing. You're the one ... yeah," he grinned, leaving the sentence hanging as his gaze fell on my basically transparent top and the clear outline of my young breasts and hard nipples.

I scrubbed furiously at my shirt, knowing it wasn't about to help. I was so embarrassed that he could see just how much his kiss had affected me. "Look what you did!" I exclaimed.

He shrugged like he was the innocent one in all of this before he pulled me into a tight hug. "There," he teased, kissing me again as he held me close against his chest, "now I can't see them."

I pouted some but got quickly lost in the swirling fog that accompanied his kiss, my wet t-shirt pressed hard against his chest as my arms wrapped around him. The towel in my hand dropped to the ground behind us before the door to the bathroom suddenly flew open for us to be greeted by, "Damn! Get a room already."

We both broke into laughter, glancing up to see one of Ryan's buddies grinning in the doorway. Our lips were still pressed together as he reached out and slammed the door back in the guy's face. "No privacy, I tell ya."