All I Want for Christmas

And that was it, Justin couldn't take both the sensual assault on his senses paired with the tender continued assault to his ears. The fact that Orin wouldn't let him look away made it impossible to hide the tears, and soon, despite himself, he felt the first trickle of traitorous tears sliding unheeded down his cheeks. "No." Justin whispered, moaning low, closing his eyes as he shook his head to deny what Orin said.

"Yes, baby." He whispered, leaning in to brush that tear away with kisses, his tongue flicking out to taste the saltiness staining his cheeks. "I'm not leaving you. I love you." He whispered to him. "I'm telling my friends about us, I'm canceling all my dates." He continued.

Justin cried, shaking his head again, "No." he pleaded with Orin to stop, but he refused.

"I'm telling my family, even my father." He whispered, catching each tear on his tongue as it began to slide down Justin's cheeks.

"No!" Justin begged, a sob catching in his throat, but even as he said the word, his hands curled in Orin's hair, drawing himself closer to the larger man.

"I'm going to Christmas dinner at your parent's house, like I do every year, but this time I'm going as your date." Orin murmured, and Justin shook with the force of his tears, his walls crumbling around him like so much rubble, utterly useless in defending his heart.

"No..." And this time the word came out soft, weak and helpless as his heart contracted with the sudden pain of being exposed, without protection, the protection he'd grown so used to.

"I'm moving in with you, and we can even get a dog together." Orin continued, painting the picture Justin was so afraid of – or rather, what he was so afraid of NOT having. Orin's hands came up to cup his face, tilting it up so as they moved together in slow and sensual rhythm, he could brush soft and tender kisses to his mouth, he could catch each tear that fell and brush it away with his absolute attention. "Look at me." He whispered again, and Justin swallowed hard, feeling afraid, afraid to open his eyes and see that everything was just some big cosmic joke, that it wasn't real.

"No." he whimpered softly, his body trembling, goosebumps tickling along every inch of his exposed fleshed.

"Look at me, Justin. See that I'm telling you the truth." Orin demanded, soft, gentle, yet it was still a command, intense and strong, brooking no argument.

"No..." Justin mewed out softly, almost cringing as he said it, feeling childish, clinging to the last bit of his wall like a safety blanket – yet that safety blanket wasn't keeping him safe any longer, it was keeping him from really seeing what was in front of his eyes, and when a safety blanket no longer does the job it was intended for, it's time to let it go.

"How can we make love, if you don't believe that I love you?" Orin asked softly, cradling his face in his large hands as though he were something indefinably precious, tender. These last words finally broke through the last of Justin's defenses, because he didn't want his fear to push Orin away, he truly didn't.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Justin began to open his eyes, and what he saw there warmed him to the very core. Orin was looking at him like a man starved, a man who'd been so hungry, he'd actually forgotten what it was to eat, and until offered a banquette didn't know what he was missing. He looked at him as though the world could crash and burn around them, and so long as they held one another, he couldn't care less.

He looked at him like he loved him. Really, truly, honestly loved him.

Justin's heart ached. "Say it again." He whispered, and Orin smiled.

"I love you." Justin whimpered, a soft sound escaping his lips as he ground his hips down on the hard cock impaling him quickening the pace just a little.

"Say it again." Justin moaned, biting his lower lip as his fingernails bit into the back of Orin's neck and the tears began to subside slowly as his body rocked and moved in time with Orin's upward thrusts.

"I love you." Orin's words were breathy, caught on a moan and barely whispered out. He was loosing the ability to speak. Justin arched his back, and then slid up before letting the weight of his body impale him once more.

"Again." Justin pleaded, leaning in to rest his cheek against Orin's as his body moved, their mutual rhythm growing quicker and more intense, mind-numbingly pleasurable.

"I love... oh gods, baby, I love you." Orin said, his hands gripping at Justin's hips, beginning to take over, pulling Justin down each time he thrust upwards. The moment those last words left his mouth, Justin turned his head to capture his lips, kissing him lovingly, longing and want, need and love all intermixed together into a mishmash of incredible emotion.

That was really what Justin needed, for Orin to stay with it until he believed it. For him not to let go and pretend it would get better, but to hold him through the feelings and stay with him even through that fear, to show him he wasn't going anywhere. And with that came an open floodgate of emotion that spilled out further into their lovemaking. Justin writhed and moved, his body an incredible and intense thing, made only for the giving and receiving of pleasure. He moved with Orin, slow thrusts, gentle movements, scratches along shoulders and hips and thighs, kisses smothered against lips and cheeks, bites along necks and hands buried in hair.

They couldn't get enough of one another, but as frantic as they got, they never went quick. It was slow and tender, mind-numbingly intense. Orin couldn't believe how sensual the man straddling him was, no lover had ever compared to the pure unadulterated sensuality that Justin possessed. He was sexy and unabashedly free with his body, all remnants of the shy mousy boy he'd been when they were kids abolished by this moment of maddened love-making.

They moved together as one being, clinging to one another, holding tight, gasping and moaning. Their sounds were a chorus of angelic songs, whispered on the night breeze and carried up to any god or goddess that cared to listen for such precious things. And as they grew close to their mutual impending release, their cries growing louder with each movement, each thrust, each grinding of their hips, Justin leaned in and bit along the edge of Orin's neck, trembling with wanton abandon.

"Bite me." Justin gasped, whimpered, moaned low against Orin's ear, and Orin whimpered in reply, words lost on him. "mark me as yours." Justin pleaded, voice growing frantic, body shuddering as each movement forced him closer and closer to the edge. "Please, please Orin." He begged, and Orin turned his head so he could sink his teeth into the tender flesh of his mates shoulder.

The pain was sharp, counter-pointed by a sudden upward thrust of Orin's hips, causing Justin's last vestiges of control to vanish into oblivion. It was incredible, and as he spiraled up, he knew he was past the point of no return, and no matter what he did, he would fall into the unending abyss of pleasure that awaited him. Orin felt it too, despite his inexperience, he felt the signs as surely as if he'd done this countless times. The rapid breathing, the thundering of Justin's heart as their chests pressed to one another, the way Justin tightened around the thick length of Orin's shaft, buried deep within his body. He knew that Justin was on the verge, and he curled one hand into his hair, lightly tugging, another added sensation into the mix of bites and thrusts, sending prickling sensations along Justin's skull and down his spine, pleasure zinging through him.

Justin cried out, a sharp cry, his fingernails raking down Orin's back as he writhed and bucked within Orin's lap. So close, so very close, he could almost taste the sweet release, almost catch it, and when he though surely he'd go mad for the waiting of it, when he though he could take no more stimulation, when his body was simply a burning ember of lust and love and all things passionate, he felt his body topple that ridge of orgasm, leaving him with the physical sensation of falling as heat erupted within him.

Never, never had he cum without being stroked to completion. Never had the simple act of love making sent him over the edge, with no more then the brush of his cock against the belly of his lover with each thrust – yet with Orin, that is exactly what happened. And intense? Gods, intense could not be a word fit for the sensations that assailed his form. And as he began to fall, to fly, Orin too joined him, shouting out hoarsely against Justin's shoulder, his head tossing back, eyes glassy before falling shut as his hips bucked uncontrollably and his arms nearly crushed Justin too him.

They crested like that, Justin in Orin's lap, arms wrapped around each other, crying out, rocking and bucking, screaming their pleasure as each pulse of it sent heat throughout their bodies. It was the single most intense orgasm either of them had ever had, made all the more sweet by how supremely gentle it had all been.

They came back to their bodies slowly, panting and moaning, whimpering gently. Justin's head lay against Orin's shoulder, and Orin's cheek rested against Justin's head. Their eyes were closed, sweat slicked along every inch of their bodies, and their hearts pounded within their chests, as if they could pound hard enough and join one another, instead of being trapped within different bodies.

Soft kisses fluttered along Orin's shoulder, his neck, along his jaw until Justin could reach his mouth, and there he placed tender kisses at the edges of his mouth, still trembling, still feeling wholly vulnerable, emotional and open hearted. "Oh my god." Justin whispered against his lips, and then suddenly, dissolved into a fit of soft laughter.

Lazy and sated, Orin was busily doing his best to return each of those soft kisses when Justin's words and sudden laughter consumed him. The laughter created a tightening, a clenching about his still semi-hard cock, sending shocks of 'too-much' pleasure along his length, and soon he was laughing too, squirming and gasping, arms tightening around Justin's body, "Oh gods, too much, too much, ack, noo..." he babbled out suddenly, which only sent Justin into a harder fit of giggles, causing them to writhe around in each others arms for a moment until the laughter subsided, and the both sighed happily.

"That's never happened to me." Justin murmured after a moment, his head once more resting against Orin's shoulder as he inhaled the sweet scent of the man he loved so dearly.

"What?" Orin murmured, asking curiously.

"Cumming like that, with just anal sex." Justin replied, falling silent for a moment and closing his eyes, a small sated and comfortable smile fluttering at the corners of his lips.

"What do you mean? Isn't that normal for ... you know, gay sex?" Orin asked, his cheeks flushing as he asked the question and tried to figure out what part about Justin's release was rare or special, is it all men or just him?

Justin's hands soothingly stroked through his hair and along his upper back for a moment, then shook his head. "No, it's really uncommon actually for you to get off without your cock being stroked." He murmured, and understanding dawned on Orin.

"Ohh, yea, I did hear about that." He told Justin softly, then his grin began to spread even wider, pleasure and happiness and excitement all over his face. "It was that good, then?" he asked, wonder touching his voice and making him seem innocent and almost childish in his excitement and pride.

"It was better then good," Justin told him honestly, "it was the best sexual experience I ever had. And... and to have you hold me, and make me listen to you as you told me you loved me..." there was a brief moment of silence as Orin held Justin and Justin tried to find the words. His face was warm, not really a blush, but something somewhat like a blush – "It helped me... it helped me open up to you. I love you so much, but I didn't really believe you. No matter how much I loved you, you were right, it wasn't making love if I couldn't trust you. I was just so afraid that if I opened up, and let myself believe you then when it all crumbled down I'd loose you and it would break my heart so bad I didn't think I'd survive it. So, I figured if I just pretended then you didn't love me, and acted under the assumption none of it was true, then no matter what happened, if you decided you didn't want me any more, it wouldn't hurt quiet so bad." Justin tried to explain his fears and reasoning to Orin, who listened intently, nodding his head every now and again and giving a little grimace at some of the things his love was saying.

"I just..." Orin paused in his explanation, tilting his head so he could rub his cheek in a very feline manner against the top of Justin's head as he considered his next words. "I could see you hurting." He finally whispered. "I could see this haunted look in your eyes behind all the lust and want and love, like you were waiting for the boot to drop. You were waiting to be crushed, and you'd take what you could get from me, because you loved me so much, even thinking that I would break your heart without a moments hesitation. I just wanted that look to be gone, I wanted to take away that pain, and to make you believe that what I was saying... it was really the truth. It is the truth. I'm not just screwing you in a secret love affair that only you and I know about. You're mine, and I'm yours, and I'm going to tell everyone just like I would if I fell in love with a woman."

I did all my research because I knew it wouldn't be fair to you to start something I couldn't finish, or couldn't put my whole heart into. And at first I thought it was the sex I'd have a problem with, and that's why I focused on that." Orin paused again, taking a slow deep breath as his has stroked through Justin's hair gently idling twisting the locks around his fingertips. "Thing is, being with you, I realized it didn't have anything to do with sex." Orin whispered, "or male versus female, or the fact you have a cock instead of a pussy. None of that really mattered. 'Cause it wasn't your body I was in love with... it was you. All of you."

Once more, tears began to prick at the corners of Justin's eyes as he listened to Orin speak, his voice soft, soothing, gentle against his ear drums. Though it was the words he actually spoke that soothed Justin's soul. "I mean, I tried thinking of Brad Pitt, and all those other actors girls go all nuts for, and while I can see why they'd be considered attractive, I just am not sexually aroused by them. But when I thought about you, I immediately wanted you. Not cause of how you looked, but because of who you are. I do think you're sexy as hell, don't get me wrong."

Orin's fingers tugged lightly at Justin's hair as he twisted it in his grasp, playing with it gently, then releasing the strands all together and watching them untwist automatically before pulling his love closer to his chest and stroking his palm up and down his spine lovingly, soothingly. "You turn me on, you have for a long time, I think that's why I kept playing with your hair, even when I couldn't admit to myself I was in love with you, I had urges to wrap my arms around you from behind and pull you against me so many times I couldn't count them all, but I never admitted to myself what that was." He turned his head, brushing gentle kisses against the top of Justin's hair as the other man sniffled, though remained quiet until Orin was through with what he had to say.

"Sometimes love doesn't quite come in the package that you think it will, and since you aren't expecting it, it sort of bites you in the ass. I've been head over heals in love with you for years, but I never realized it because you weren't what fit into my narrow view of expectations. I thought I'd be with a woman, not a man, so I ignored the obvious and kept looking for what I thought I was gonna get. When you said you loved me, everything sort of flew into place for me, and I realized how incredibly in love with you I was. Maybe I'm not gay, hell, maybe I'm not even bisexual, but I am definitely Justin-sexual."

Orin grinned a little, tilting Justin's head up so he could look into his face again, his own eyes now glittering with tears. Happy tears, not sad tears. He'd always thought strong men didn't cry, but he'd learned that it was strong men who let themselves cry, let themselves fully feel and express themselves. "I'm not goin' to let a little thing like you having a penis keep me from the best thing to ever happen to me. Maybe not everyone would understand that, but I don't care, 'cause I understand it. I just don't want you to think that because I'm not interested in other men, I don't really love you. I want you to believe that because I'm not interested in other men, I love you that much more then you could ever comprehend, that my love for you is so incredibly deep, I wouldn't care what package you came in, I'd still love you." Orin whispered gently, and Justin let out a soft sob and curled his arms more fully around his lover, hugging him tightly, so tightly it was is if he wanted to crawl inside of Orin and stay there forever, wrapped in the warmth of his love.

When Justin spoke, his words were rough, hoarse from emotion, from tears, and from crying out his pleasure and passion earlier. "Thank you." He whispered, "Thank you for telling me that, thank you for trying to make me feel better. My fears aren't all gone, I'll be honest with you about that, but they're a lot better then they were when you first came to see me today. I just feel a little shell shocked still, my whole world is flipped around and everything I wanted just got dropped into my lap. It's hard to take it all in, you know? So many gay men have this big fear about dating bisexual guys because they think the bi-boys can't commit. Its sort of a cultural fear, even if you don't really believe it personally, it's always in the back of your mind. It does make me a little nervous that you don't really like guys, but I can also see how that just makes me that much more special to you, because you want me despite that."

Justin went silent for a moment, and Orin nodded his head, eyes still glistening with tears, all serious and intent on getting his feelings across to the man in his arms. After a moment however, Justin continued hesitantly, a shy blush suffusing his cheeks. "The... the sex was good though, right?" he asks softly, "I mean, even though you aren't into guys besides me... you still want me like this, right?" he asked, feeling his stomach knot into a million knots and do flip-flops at the same time, anxiety causing his body to tremble a little in anticipation of the answer to that very important question.

Orin grinned down at his little love, eyes sparkling, then bit his lower lip before answering. "I can honestly say that was the best sex I have ever had in my entire life." He whispered, and Justin's whole body relaxed so quickly he felt like a puddle of helpless goo in Orin's lap, his breath coming out in a slow relieved sigh and his eyes closing. "And..." Orin leaned down to nuzzle from shoulder, slowly along neck, then so his nose brushed just behind Justin's ear, "I can not wait for you to take me. I can't wait to feel you inside of me. I can't wait to be the one impaled and filled up and ... oh gods Justin, just thinking about it makes me hard all over again. When I say I want you, I mean I WANT you. All of you. You're sexy and incredible, the most beautiful human being I've ever known, in every single way imaginable."

Even as he spoke, Orin's cock began to harden all over again, still embedded within the tight warm confines of Justin's ass, only proving what he was saying. Grinding his hips upwards, Justin couldn't help but moan and whimper lightly at the sensation, gasping and clutching at his shoulders.