All In My Head Ch. 01

"Worried about your pretty wife?" Allie asked giving me a fake sweet smile.

I shrugged trying to look unconcerned. When I didn't say anything, she added "Don't worry Mike, Scott will take good care of her."

I felt lightheaded. I gave a stupid excuse about getting some food, and moved away from this group of the bride and her bridesmaids. I felt Allie's eyes on my crotch as I stood. She probably could tell I was hard. I'm sure Jen told her I got hot when she fucked other men. I blushed feeling humiliated.

I got a plate from the buffet. I felt everyone's eyes on me. They all knew my wife was with Scott. I played with the food for a few minutes, then retreated back to the sanctuary of our room.

I texted Jen: "How's it going?" She didn't answer. Thirty minutes later I texted "R u ok?" Still she didn't answer. I tried to keep busy by packing our things, since our train left later that day.

Around 1pm I went back down to the lobby. I was getting worried and planned to borrow someone's car to look for them. They were setting up a big "goodbye" lunch for all the wedding guests. As the elevator opened on the lobby floor, I saw Jen talking to Jill and Allie. "Hey sleepy head, finally waking up?" she said to me. Jill and Allie laughed. WTF?! Here I was worried about her, and she teases me?

"I texted and called you," I said.

"Oh sorry my battery ran out," she said, then turned back to talk to Jill and Allie. It was like I wasn't even there.

Jill and Allie were holding glasses of wine. "Mike can you get me a glass of wine?" Jen asked.

I went to the bar. "Could I get two whites?" I asked the bartender.

I brought the wines back but Jen and the other girls had already sat down for lunch. I went into the dining room and saw Jen sitting next to Scott. They were sitting close together, laughing and talking, just like last night. She hadn't saved me a seat next to her. It was one of those lunches where you weren't supposed to sit next to your spouse, but still. I brought the wine to her. She didn't notice me at first, so involved was she talking to Scott. "Oh, thanks honey but Scott got me one," she said, holding a glass of red. Then she turned back to talk to him.

I sat across the room and tried to make polite conversation. I tried not to be obvious about it, but I kept looking at Jen and Scott. Each time I looked they seemed to be sitting closer together, their heads almost touching as they talked. I'm sure everyone noticed, how they were spending so much time together, how my wife was brazenly flirting with another man right in front of me. Was his hand on her thigh under the table? Was she full of his cum?

Finally lunch ended and we boarded our train back into the city. Jen had drank a few glasses of wine, so she was tired. As soon as we sat down, she leaned her head against my shoulder and fell asleep. I put my arm around her. We were both exhausted when we finally got to our apartment. I wanted to talk to her about what had happened, but it would have to wait until tomorrow.

The next morning, I had to leave early for a client meeting. I left before Jen even woke up. I stayed busy until lunch, but then I had some free time to think. I couldn't understand the weekend. Jen knew I was up to play the Game again if she wanted to. If she wanted to fuck Scott she could tell me, she didn't need to be coy.

Our relationship hadn't gotten back to how it had been before Ricky. Our time together after graduation and before our wedding had been so exciting, magical even. But then Ricky happened. I'd encouraged it. I thought it was just an exciting game. I thought afterward things would go back to how they'd been. But they hadn't.

Sex wasn't as good, at least for her, I was sure. I couldn't satisfy her the way those other men could, and the passage of time didn't cure that. Yeah, I could always get her off with my tongue. But I didn't have the body or cock to rock her world the way those other guys could.

What's worse, we didn't seem as together as before. We loved each other for sure. But it didn't seem like we were as close. We didn't hang out together and laugh and whisper sweet nothings to each other like we used to do. We weren't in sync like before. Sometimes she seemed distracted, even distant. It was like something was wedged between us, keeping us from getting back together like before.

After work I picked up groceries and made dinner. She always worked out after work, so by the time she got home I had dinner all laid out, including a bottle of wine and candles. She smiled seeing what I'd done, and we had a quiet romantic dinner.

Afterwards she leaned against me on the sofa as I rubbed her shoulders and neck. I wanted her really relaxed before getting into the weekend. Finally I said, "It was a good wedding, huh?"

"Yeah, I had an awesome time catching up with everyone."

"Jack and Jill went to Belize?"

"Yeah, they have a cute little cottage right on the water."

We chatted like that for a while. Then, finally I said "I guess I was surprised you didn't wake me up yesterday."

"I tried but you were out of it." She giggled. "How much did you drink at the reception?"

I wondered how hard she tried. "It's not like I had anything else to do," I said. "You were with Scott all night."

I guess she heard the hurt in my voice. She turned around to face me. "Are you all right?" When I didn't answer, she said "I was just catching up with everybody."

"Why'd it take 4 hours yesterday? It's only an hour round trip."

"Traffic was horrendous. And then we got stuck talking to Jill's aunts and uncles who stayed at the house instead of the hotel." When I didn't answer, she added, "Mike, nothing happened."

I started feeling like an idiot, and guilty for thinking she'd lied. Trying to explain, I said "It's just that, you talked to Scott so much."

"I don't know," she said with a shrug. "He's interesting, we have a lot in common. We like a lot of the same bands, and he's really into the outdoors."

Her answer didn't exactly make me feel better. She rested her head on my chest, and I held her, both of us quiet. Then I finally got to what I wanted to say. "If something HAD happened, I'd be okay with that. You know that right?"

She pushed off me and sat straight on the sofa. "Yeah Mike I know that." There was a dismissive coldness in her voice. "You're all over the place," she said frustrated. "You get jealous if I talk to someone, and disappointed if I don't fuck him."

"I'm not saying I want you to fuck Scott," I hurriedly said. "I'm just saying, if you do I'd be okay with it." This was not going right. I DIDN'T want her to fuck Scott, there was something about him I didn't like. But if she did fuck him, I wanted her to tell me about it. That's what I was trying to say, but it wasn't coming out right.

She shook her head, frustration and anger brewing. "Mike, I'm not going to do something like that. I mean, god, you're the one worried about our friends knowing."

It's not a good thing when Jen gets angry. She doesn't often, but when she does it takes a while before she cools down. "Listen, I'm sorry, you're 100% right," I said soothingly, trying to head off her anger. "I'm a complete idiot," I added, putting my arms around her.

"You are an idiot," she said hitting me on the chest, but the anger was gone and she didn't pull away from me.

Later that night in bed, I put my arm around her and tentatively kissed her. I wanted her, but wasn't sure if she'd be into it given our argument. She let me kiss her, and began responding. I moved my hand under my old frat t-shirt she wears to bed, and she didn't stop me when I cupped her breast. Her nipple hardened when I rubbed it with my thumb. I knew I was in business when she paused and pulled off her t-shirt.

I kissed and fondled down her body, lingering at her breasts. They're small but perfectly formed with perky nipples. Her nipples are super sensitive so I spent a long time sucking and rubbing them. At the same time my hands roamed her body, my fingers tracing between her ass checks, caressing her inner thighs.

Finally I left her bosom and traveled down her body. I didn't linger on her stomach -- sometimes she can be ticklish there -- but feeling her tummy always turned me on, so flat and firm from great genes and a lot of exercising. I finally got to her pussy. During the day she wears lacy thongs, but at night to sleep she wears cotton panties, so cute because often they have little bows on the waistband. I was gratified to see a wet spot in the panties. I pulled them down her long legs, and then I spread her legs and went down on her. I took my time, licking and touching her how I knew she liked it, teasingly building her up and letting her come down.

When we first started going out I'd eat her out but not to climax. Instead, after getting her hot, I'd mount her and finish her through intercourse. Usually I could get her to cum that way, and it made me feel good having her orgasm on my cock. It was harder now to get her to cum that way. I guess she got spoiled by longer and thicker cocks. So I always made sure to make her cum with my tongue, no matter how long it took, because I wanted to make sure she got off.

Tonight it didn't take long. After just a few minutes she convulsed and squealed and came. Afterwards I moved up her body. She reached between us and guided my cock into her. "God you're so hard!" she moaned as I entered her. "Fuck me Mike, fuck me hard!"

I was definitely hard, after everything that had happened that weekend. I fucked her hard, digging my feet into the mattress and using it as leverage to ram her hard. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her, the way I'd seen Ricky do to her so many times. I knew she wanted that. Even after her orgasm, she wanted the physicality of being taken hard. But then my mind wandered to the weekend. Images flitted though my head of how she flirted with Scott, how she ignored me, how she made me feel like a third wheel as she gave Scott all her attention. I couldn't help it, I came.

"Sorry," I said afterwards. I'd cum after only a few strokes.

"That's okay, I had a great orgasm," she said, and kissed me. But I felt like a loser. She'd wanted fucked hard, and I'd popped before she'd even had a chance to warm up.

She rolled to her side and I spooned her, the way we usually slept. She hugged my arm tight, and we fell asleep.

The next day she called me at work. "Remember, I'm going out with Allie after work."

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering. "Do you want me to make you something for dinner?"

"That's okay, we'll probably get something at the bar."

I got home around 7, and knew Jen wouldn't be home until at least 10. It gave me some time to think. She believed her actions with Scott were innocent. Okay, maybe not innocent, but not unusual for her. She had a point there since she loved to flirt -- it was something that drew me to her. But after thinking about it, I decided this had definitely been different. Usually she flirted with a lot of guys, like a social butterfly. But here she paid all her attention on just Scott. And going alone with him with the presents was definitely out of line. She could have woken me up, I wasn't that out of it, and she'd known I wanted to go with her. Clearly she was attracted to him. He was ruggedly handsome and looked in really good shape, and seemed extremely confident. All things Jen found attractive. He reminded me of Ricky, and you know how that turned out.

I wondered what Jen and Allie were talking about. I imagined Allie putting me down, saying something like "Mike looked like a lost puppy dog yesterday. Is he always that insecure?"

Jen would say "He gave me a hard time about it last night."

Allie would giggle. "What I want to know is, did Scott give you a hard one?"

Jen would laugh. "God you're so bad."

"You know it girl, now fess up. Is DOESN'T take 4 hours to go to Jill's parents' house. What happened?"

Jen would get red and put her head in her hands. "God Allie, Scott fucked me!"

"Where?"

"At the house!"

"Where were all the aunts and uncles?"

"They'd already left, the house was empty. I called Jill so she wouldn't blow my cover."

"So your battery didn't really die?"

Jen would shake her head. "Scott was in my mouth when Mike called!"

I clenched my eyes shut, forcibly purging these thoughts from my head. Jen said nothing happened, she wouldn't lie to me.

But she'd lied before, when she'd been involved with Ricky. Maybe she HAD fucked Scott, but didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me, or didn't want the complications of getting my obsessive cuckold fantasy involved.

Jack and Jill had made a Facebook page for their wedding, and everyone was posting pictures there. I went there and scrolled through the pictures. There were a lot of Jen because she was in the bridal party. Scott was in many of them, and often they were talking or interacting or at least next to each other. It was hard to believe they'd just met. Someone looking at the pictures would think they were a couple.

I zoomed in on a picture of them. They were talking and laughing, their heads close. He had his arm on the back of her chair. Not touching her, but still like she was his. I took out my cock. I imagined them kissing. I imagined his cock in her mouth. I remembered how much of a third wheel I felt. I came after just a few strokes.

I knew why I was so threatened by Scott. It was more than the fact he was handsome and fit. He had that "bull" attitude. He clearly knew I was there, but he went ahead and flirted with another man's wife for close to 2 days. You have to have a special arrogance to do that. He reminded me of Ricky.

I thought of Gary, Jen's mentor at work. She liked him, and even slept with him once when we were broken up. After we got back together and started playing the Game again, we thought about including Gary. But in the end, Jen decided not to. Part of it was, she didn't want to jeopardize her friendship with him. But I think mostly, it was because Gary was too nice a guy. He wasn't the kind of guy who'd jeopardize another's marriage. He didn't have the bull attitude.

The next week we were having a quiet dinner when Jen said, "A bunch of people from work are going out for happy hour tomorrow. Are you up for it?"

Honestly I don't like going out with Jen's work friends. For one, I'd have to deal with Allie. But advertising people are too rowdy for me. I work on Wall Street; it's intense and high pressure, but its sober seriousness fits my personality better (Jen would hate Wall Street, too boring).

But I like spending time with my wife, so I said "Definitely, I'm in."

The next day I got held up and got to the happy hour late. "Hey baby," Jen said giving me a kiss. I knew most of the people there. She introduced me to a few new people. I was shocked to see Scott.

"Hey bro, how you doing?" he said shaking my hand. He saw the surprise on my face and grinned. "Yeah, I just started. You know us advertising types, have diploma will travel." I found out later he'd been hired as an account executive, which was about right on the corporate totem pole given his age. Still, he was a couple of rungs below Jen, who was now a director. Allie was a director too. To be fair though, Jen and Allie were both moving up the ladder faster than normal (their gorgeous looks and outgoing personalities didn't hurt in advertising).

There were about 10 of us. We pulled together three 4 tops and sat down. Maybe because of what happened at the wedding, Jen sat away from Scott, holding my hand to make sure we sat next to each other (which didn't always happen at these happy hours).

People started looking at stapled sheets of paper. It was a playlist! Fuck, this was karaoke night! I -- HATE -- KARAOKE. I'm a lousy singer, and I'm always too embarrassed to sing in front of people.

Jen loves it though, and she was one of the first people on the list. Others from our table got on the list, including Scott. In fact, everyone did, except me. "You getting on the list Mike?" he said loud enough so everyone could hear.

"I'm still thinking about it," I replied.

"Dude, you just gotta do it!" he said with a laugh. Asshole.

The first singers were average at best. Then it was Jen's turn. She loved old bands, so she sang Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. Everyone looked when she got up on the stage because she's so pretty. But she really got everyone's attention when she started to sing, not just with her beautiful voice, but gliding across the stage just like a young Stevie Nicks. A lot of people gave her a standing O, including everyone at our table. I was so proud of her, I gave her a big hug and kiss.

A few songs later it was Allie's turn. She sang Beyonce's Single Ladies Put a Ring on It, which I thought was a strange choice because I could never see Allie settling down with one guy. Her voice wasn't as good as Jen's, but she knew how to move her body, so she also got an ovation.

Then it was Scott's turn. He sang She's a Lady. His voice was no better than mine, but he knew how to dance and work the crowd, so he was moving and gyrating just like Tom Jones. Our table was already cheering him on when he jumped off the stage and pulled Jen to her feet. He grinded his crotch against hers, as he sang: "She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy, Well she knows me through and through, She knows just what to do, and how to please me. She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady."

Jen played along and grinded back, beaming and laughing delightedly the whole time. As the song ended everyone gave him an ovation, and caught in the moment, Jen gave him a hug.

A while later our group was getting on the list again. By then everyone at our table had sang twice, and some three times. Scott handed me the playlist. "Come on bro, you have to go at least once."

I shrugged. "You guys are great, but this isn't my thing."

"Come on, we're all making fools of ourselves, don't be a stick in the mud," he insisted.

Everyone looked at me. I've never felt more like an outsider. Jen could have helped me by saying something like "It's not his thing, okay?" But instead her eyes were on the stage, watching the next singer set up.

Finally I joked "Believe me, I'm saving you guys from major pain by not singing." I forced a smiled, trying to save some of my dignity. Some of the people I knew gave me an out by laughing.

Later in the taxi on the way home, I said to Jen "Sorry about all that. I'm a lousy singer."

"That okay," she said, "But you know, no one cares how well you sing, it's all fun." I was hoping she'd say Scott had acted like an ass, but instead she said the opposite. "Look at Scott, he can't sing but he was great."

"Yeah, I guess," I said feeling deflated even more. We rode in silence for a while. I felt like she was disappointed in me. But then she slid closer and leaned her head against my shoulder, and I put my arm around her.

At home Jen went right to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I quietly got up and went into our home office.

Scott working with Jen added another dimension to my insecurities. Would they be spending a lot of time together? Jen would be his boss. Would that motivate him more to get inside her pants? I imagined him bragging in the lunchroom to his buddies, "I nailed Jenny Andrews last night!" Would that embolden other co-workers to hit on her? She's beautiful, but unattainable not just because she's married but also her high position. If she fucked Scott and it got around, would the other guys in the office see her as a potential lay?

On my computer I opened the wedding picture of them (I'd saved it in a folder). I imagined them kissing, his cock in her mouth, his cock inside her pussy. Did she get him the job, so they could spend more time together? So they could take long lunches? Does he get off looking at his boss down on her knees, her blonde head bobbing up and down on his cock, her wedding ring wet with his precum?