All In My Head Ch. 05

"Well, you know, A leads to B, B leads to C," I said. That was how I always explained how I figured things out. I'd always been good at math, and when you got down to it Sapphire was just math. And numbers were like that. You figure out A, and that leads to B. Once you've got B, you go to C, and so on.

The three of them grinned at me. "Mike, you shouldn't be so modest, even though it's really cute," Elaine said with a giggle.

Steve and Brian shared a grin. Elaine was definitely tipsy.

"Elaine's right Mike," Steve said. "This is your moment, enjoy it."

"It's OUR moment," I said to them, and we toasted to that.

As we left, I said "Brian, did you get a chance to check on that alpha progression?"

Brian shrugged. "Yeah, but it looked good to me."

I frowned and shook my head. "Something about it doesn't look right to me. Did you check the regression model too?"

"I didn't think of that," Brian said. "I'll look at it again. Steve, can you check it with me?"

"You bet," Steve said.

I woke up early on Sunday and flew to Chicago in the private jet. The plane had a phone so I called Jen.

"You won't believe where I am," I said grinning into the phone.

"Where?"

"The firm's private jet!" I explained what had happened.

"I wish I was there with you!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah we could join the mile high club!"

"I would so be up for that!" she giggled.

"Me too!" And we both laughed at the double entendre.

"What are you up to today?" I asked.

"Heading to the gym," she said.

"Okay -- I'll probably get home late tonight, probably not before 10."

"No worries, just let me know," she said brightly.

I was more nervous to meet with the Chicago partners than the number crunchers. I dealt better with brainiacs since I spoke their language (math). The Chicago partners were all about money -- the more the better -- and they intimidated the hell out of me.

But if anything, the meeting in Chicago went better than SF. Maybe because the Chicago partners were money hounds, and they immediately saw Sapphire's potential to make serious cash.

Surprisingly, the meeting ended early. They got me a limo to the airport and flew me to NYC on the private jet. I could seriously get used to this. I called Jen from the plane but got her voice mail. I left her a message: "Hey baby, the meeting ended early, we should land around 6. Meet me at the airport and I'll give you the grand tour of the jet."

Jen wasn't at the airport when we landed. I tried her cell but again got her voice mail. I tried our apartment but she didn't pick up there either. I waited for a while at the airport hoping she would show up, but the pilots had to get to their next pickup. I said thanks to them and took a taxi home.

I got home around 730. Jen wasn't there. I tried her cell but again got her voice mail. I left another message: "Baby, I'm getting seriously worried, call me, I'm at home."

Finally around 9 I heard voices at the door. The door opened and Jen came in with her bike. "Oh Mike you're home," she said seeing me.

A cloud passed over my face when I saw Scott standing behind her.

She saw the look on my face. "Um, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said to Scott.

He grinned, oblivious to the sudden tension between me and my wife; or probably he didn't care. "I had a great time," he said to her.

"Yeah, me too," she said to him while still half looking at me. He moved to kiss her goodbye.

She gave him an awkward kiss on the lips, and said "See you tomorrow."

She leaned the bike on the wall and came to me. She hugged and kissed me. "I'm so glad you're home, I missed you," she said.

"Where have you been?" I asked. I managed to keep my voice level, if unemotional.

"A bunch of us decided to bike to Coney Island. Remember, like we did last year? It was so nice today, like spring, it was kinda spontaneous."

"You went with Scott?"

"I didn't go with Scott," she said cautiously. "He was part of the group."

"But you ended up with him?"

"No, Mike," she said soothingly, rubbing my arm. "After we got back to the city we all stopped for drinks. Scott rode with me to make sure I got home okay."

"I called you. Repeatedly."

"Oh shit," she said digging into her fanny pack for her iPhone. She saw all the missed calls and messages from me. "Oh baby, I didn't think to look. I thought you'd be home late." She got on her tip toes and kissed me, and then hugged me. "You know I would have so dumped everyone and come home if I'd known you were here, right?"

"Yeah," I said. It felt good to have her in my arms.

Later we took a bath together. We did that a lot. When we rehabbed our bathroom we'd gotten a large enough tub that we could both be in it, facing each other.

I had her foot in my hand, rubbing it. She loved her feet rubbed, couldn't get enough of it. And her slim feet were so cute and sexy I couldn't get enough of touching them. So it worked out for both of us. We were sipping wine, so we were feeling relaxed.

"I have to ask," I said. "Did anything happen between you and Scott today?"

"Nope. We just biked around, then went to a bar." She pressed a toe into my chest and smiled. "I've been a good girl baby."

"But yesterday?"

"Yeah, but ... you said I could, right?"

"Yeah ... I guess I was just wondering."

"Well ... I wasn't sure I wanted to. After you left I slept awhile and then went to the gym. I came home and worked on Kelloggs, but I got stuck on Scott's part because I didn't have his latest report. I emailed him, and that kinda lead to me going over to his place cause that's where all his stuff was. We worked for a while, and then we fooled around. Then later I met up with Allie."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me."

"You don't have to thank me baby, no secrets right?"

"Yeah. It's just, I mean ... sorry for being skitzo about this."

"That's okay baby, you can ask me anything, you're entitled."

I felt the need to explain more. "I don't know why I'm so hung up on him. Maybe because you're such good friends."

"I have a lot of guy friends Mike ... it's never bothered you before."

"Yeah but ... not with benefits, right?" I forced a laugh to break the tension.

"That's true," Jen laughed back, but her laugh seemed as fake as mine. "I don't know what to say honey," she said getting serious again. "Do you want me to break it off with him?"

Yes, that was exactly what I wanted. But we'd done that with Ricky and it didn't work out. It was better to play things out and let her work through her infatuation.

So I said, "No, I don't mean that."

"You're okay then?"

"Yeah. These talks really help."

"Definitely," she agreed.

We talked a little bit about Kelloggs and Sapphire. I liked talking about Kelloggs because I liked hearing her voice and seeing her excited. Things were going really well, and her boss said she'd definitely get a bonus and maybe a promotion. I was really happy for her.

"Your presentation is Thursday, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Eric told me a lot of partners are flying here to attend the meeting in person." Usually partners outside NYC attended by video conference.

"Wow, and all this because of you," she said admiringly.

"Well ... I mean, it's a team effort."

"You're so modest," she said smiling. Then she kissed me. "But it's cute."

I chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

"That just reminded me," I said smiling and thinking about what Elaine had said.

"What?"

"Elaine said the same thing," I said. I realized my mistake as soon as I said it.

"Who's Elaine?" she asked. Jen wore a smile but her eyes definitely weren't smiling.

"You know, Elaine, on my team."

"I don't think you've told me about her."

"Oh, sorry. I guess she joined about 6 months ago."

"Hmmm ... and she said you're cute?"

"No --"

"That's what you said."

"No, she said I was being modest, and --"

"Where were you when she said this?"

"We were having a drink."

"You went out with her for drinks?"

"My team went out," I quickly corrected her.

"Hmmm. How old is she?"

"I think 22."

"Kinda young for you isn't she?"

I laughed nervously. "I've got you baby, why would I want anyone else?"

"Um hm," she said dismissively. "Is she pretty?"

"Well ... I guess."

"And is she blonde Michael?"

This was getting bad if she was calling me Michael. "Um ... yeah," I said.

"Hmmm ... so do I have competition Michael?"

"Jen of course not!"

She smiled, an evil glint in her eye. "That's good because I told you what will happen to this," she said squeezing my cock a shade too hard.

We got out of the bath and dried off, then got into bed. Later Jen was on top of me, rocking back and forth. I cupped and fondled her breasts.

"Are her breasts bigger than mine?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Elaine you shit head."

"Oh. I guess."

"Are they pretty?" she asked. Even though hers were perfect, Jen had a thing about her small breasts. Sometimes she talked about getting a boob job.

"I don't know. I haven't looked."

"Liar," she said. She rocked back and forth in silence, and then said "Is she prettier than me?"

"Baby, no one's prettier than you," I said truthfully.

She gave me a "whatever" look. Then she said "Do you fantasize about her?"

"Jen -- of course not."

"Never?"

"Never," I said.

"It'd be okay if you did," she said. But I knew that was a lie.

"Jen, you know what I fantasize about?" I said. "You and Scott."

"Okay," she said a little sharply. "Then you want to hear something about yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"We were fooling around," she said still rocking back and forth on me. "He went down on me and got me close but wouldn't let me cum. He's soooo good with his tongue, he was driving me crazy."

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"Then he got between my legs. I reached down to guide him into me. I always have to use both hands to hold him because his cock's so freaking big."

"Okay," I said again. Her story was definitely hot but I felt jealousy growing inside me.

"He pushed into me. It always hurts at first because he's so big, but he's super considerate so he always goes slow. I really like that about him. He'd gotten me so hot though I was really wet, so it didn't take him too long before he was all the way in me. God Mike I can't tell you how good it feels when he's all the way in me. It's like he reaches every part of me, it feels freaking awesome. I don't know what it is, but he fits be perfectly! It's like my pussy was made for his cock!"

"Okay," I said.

"Are you okay baby?" she asked.

"Yeah I guess," I said, not at all feeling okay.

She shrugged like she didn't care whether I was okay or not, then continued her story. "Then he started fucking me, going slow at first. He put my legs on his shoulders so he got super deep inside me. God Mike I can't tell you how good it felt! Oh, did I tell you? I had on the black ankle strap Jimmy Choos, you know, the ones you say make my legs look so great? I'd worn them with really tight jeans because Scott loves my ass and I wanted to drive him crazy!"

She paused looking into my eyes, then asked, "You're not upset are you?"

"I don't know," I said my head spinning by this point. "I thought you said you weren't sure if you wanted to fool around with him."

She shrugged. "I still wanted to dress sexy for him." She looked into my face. "I can tell you're upset -- but good upset right? Anyway, Scott was fucking me faster, and I reached down to caress his balls. He loves when I do that, and I love it too because his balls are so big and tight, just like his beautiful cock!"

She paused and looked into my eyes. I sensed she was getting to the punch line. "As I rubbed his balls his cock rubbed against my hand. Guess what I realized?"

"What?" I asked feeling dread approaching.

"He wasn't wearing a condom," she said simply.

It felt like my heart stopped. "What happened?" I said feeling more dread.

"It felt so good I let him fuck me that way."

"What?!" I cried.

"Don't worry, he didn't cum in me."

"But he might have! And even his pre-cum--"

"Michael, listen," she said dismissively. "You want me to fuck other guys. And I LOVE fucking them. Shit happens. Grow up and get over it."

I grunted and came. Then, without even a kiss, she rolled off me and went into the bathroom.

What the fuck had just happened? I'd gotten release from my orgasm but no pleasure, and now I was an emotional wreck. She hadn't been teasing or playing the game. She'd been mean, cruel even, and now she seemed pissed at me. What had I done?

Then it came to me. Elaine. She was upset about Elaine.

It always amazed me how someone as beautiful as Jen could ever be jealous or threated by another girl. Believe me, Jen is so stunning no man who had her would ever look at another girl. I certainly never did. But I'd learned early on she was probably the most jealous person I'd ever met, she got hurt really easy, and she had a fiery almost vindictive temper.

She came out of the bathroom with a frown on her pretty face. Her eyes were a little red. Had she been crying?

She got into bed and rolled over. Her body language told me I was not invited to spoon her.

I needed to reassure her. It was actually easy for me to do, because I adored her so much.

"Wanna know something?" I said moving closer to her but not touching her. "Remember back in college, when I first saw you?"

"Yes Mike," she said impatiently. "You've told me this before, over and move again. You saw me coming out of my dance class in my leotard and tights, and you immediately fell in love with my long blonde hair and long legs. So where are you going with this?"

"Yeah but, I never told you this part," I said gently, ignoring her major brush-off. "We actually met before that." I waited a moment for her to ask "when" or something like that, but she didn't say anything. She was going to make me work for this.

"The first time we met was in Platter Records and Books. You know, the used record and book store outside campus? I worked part time there. You came in looking for old Springsteen vinyl records. I'll never forget, you were wearing a pink bow in your hair. I swear to god, you were the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life. I tried to talk to you but, you know me, I could barely put two works together I was so nervous looking at you. I managed to ask you why you wanted old Springsteen records, and you said he was the greatest poet who ever lived. I told you I'd never really listened to his stuff, and you told me to listen to Thunder Road. Then you left. Jen, that night I listened to Thunder Road like 100 times."

She turned around and looked at me. "I kinda remember, but I didn't know that was you."

"Of course not," I said with a humble laugh. "You were gorgeous and the most popular girl on campus, and I was a geeky math major who worked in a used record store."

"Why haven't you told me this before?"

"Well ... what happened was, I kinda stalked you after that," I said seriously embarrassed. "I knew your name -- you paid for the records with a credit card -- but I didn't know who you were. So, for like the next month, I found out as much about you as I could. What you were studying, what your class schedule was, who your friends were, things you were in to and things you didn't like, everything."

"How'd you do that?"

"I Googled you. There was some stuff on you but not a lot. Mostly through Facebook."

"Did we have common friends?"

"No, but, well ... I kinda hacked Facebook."

"You -- hacked - Facebook?" she said shocked.

"Yeah," I said, really embarrassed now. "It's actually not that hard."

"But ... my class schedule wasn't on Facebook," she said processing what I'd said. Then it came to her. "Did you hack the Penn State computer network too?"

I nodded, red faced and grimacing.

"God Mike you're dangerous."

"Anyway," I continued, wanting to get passed this part of the story, "My point is I didn't want to be a blubbering idiot when we met again. A friend got me invited to one of your sorority mixers. By then I'd listened to every Springsteen song, memorized the works of all the great European masters, read just about everything by Emerson and Thoreau, rode all the bike trails within 10 miles of campus, learned how to make a fire in the pouring rain with just a couple of sticks, studied Dante's Infernal, ..."

"God Mike," Jen said amazed. "I remember wondering how a math grad student knew so much about French non-conformist literature."

"Yeah, well ... I wanted to make sure I had something to talk to you about. I'm just saying ... baby, from the moment we met you've been everything to me. I think about you all the time. Whenever I see you, it's like my heart stops. Jen -- I'm consumed by you."

She smiled at me. It was almost a shy smile. But she was beaming at me.

She reached into my pants. I was soft. I'd just cum, and this was about love, not sex. She moved down my body and took me into her mouth. I got hard, and then I got on top of her and entered her.

This was how she liked to make up, after we fought. She liked making love to cement our reconnection. I liked it too of course. Afterwards we hugged and kissed and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up with my cock in her mouth. She got on top of me and put me inside her. "I was really mean to you last night," she said rocking back and forth.

"That's okay," I said trying to be cool. But I had to know. "Did he really fuck you without a condom?"

She nodded. "Just a little bit," she said. "He went down on me and got me so hot I forgot to tell him to put on a condom. He entered me without one. I figured it out and told him to stop and put one on."

"Did he?"

"Not at first. He said it felt really good and he'd pull out in a minute."

"Jen, even his pre-cum --"

"I know, I know," she said soothingly rubbing my chest. "I made him pull out. I was so mad at him I wouldn't let him fuck me after that even with a condom."

"So he didn't cum?"

"I went down on him."

"Oh. Okay. I guess you weren't that mad at him then."

"Well ... I don't know," she said. "We didn't really make up until yesterday on the bike ride."

Her words "make up" rang in my ears, and bothered me. It made it sound like they were dating and she was his girlfriend. Maybe she was.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"You said you didn't have sex with him yesterday."

"We didn't," she said. "But we rode together and talked." When I didn't say anything, she asked again "Are you okay?"

"You rode together the whole time?" I asked.

"Not the whole," she said. "You know how rides go. People move around a lot."

"But you rode next to him the most."

"I don't know. I talked to a lot of people." She was still riding me, moving up and down really slow. She rubbed my chest again. "Are you okay?"

"It just seems like you're dating ... you're his girl friend."

She looked confused. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I don't know ... I guess."

She kissed me. "You're upset?"

"Yeah."

"Good upset or bad?"

"Bad I think," I said.

"Which part?"

I took a long breath. "He wants to fuck you bareback. And I think you want him to."

She kissed me. "It's not gonna happen Mike. You don't have to worry about that." She kissed me again. "What else is bothering you?"

"I guess the dating part," I said.

"You liked it when I dated Ricky," she said kissing me again.

"You didn't work with Ricky. You see Scott every day, you work with him, you party with him, you go on bike rides with him. You're with him way more than me."

I was still inside her, but now she stopped moving and just laid down on my chest, my cock still inside her. "Do you want me to break it off with him?" she asked. "I will if you want me to."

"I'm not saying that," repeating what I'd said the night before.