All in the Family

"No Annie," I said. "He's the kind of guy YOU fuck around with, not me. And he's only one of them, isn't he?"

"Justin, I'm sorry. I keep telling you that I started all of that way back before we met. And once again, I have never fucked Uncle Dan. Not that he didn't try, I just never did. Can we go somewhere and talk after you meet with Uncle Dan?"

"Annie, we're getting a divorce. We probably shouldn't be talking to each other as much as we do now. It really is only going to get harder to get over each other if we don't start trying to move on."

"Justin, you try to move on, if you have to. I love you and I will never stop trying to get back with you. No matter what it takes." she said.

"Annie, I'm not actually planning on meeting with your Uncle today." I said.

"Ooh boy, he's going to be pissed," she said. "Be careful, Justin.

About an hour later, I was putting the finishing touches on my wax job when two huge guys got out of a car and came over to me.

As soon as I saw them I started walking to the house. I went inside and left the door open. They just stood there outside of the door.

I watched them standing there outside, through the window. Why the fuck were they just standing there? Did they think they were vampires and they had to be invited in?

Finally they came in and looked around. "Judge Kincaid wants to see you," said one of the giants. Looking at them I saw that they were only big. They weren't trained fighters. They used their size to intimidate people. I wondered what they'd do when someone wasn't afraid of them.

"I want to see two dollar a gallon gas come back," I said. "But that doesn't seem very likely either."

"The Judge said that if you didn't want to come willingly, to bring you."

I pretended to be shocked. "Are you saying that the Judge told you to kidnap me," I said in an exaggerated manner as if I was acting in a movie. "The Judge told you to unlawfully detain me against my will."

"Look buddy, I'm not a fucking lawyer, but if the Judge says to bring ya, you're getting brought." He grabbed me by my arm and I pulled away from him.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to go with you," I shouted.

Shit, this acting thing was tiring. I pushed one of the guys and he took a clumsy swing at me. The punch was so slow I had time to set myself and roll with it which actually took all of the force out of it. I threw myself on the floor and pretended that I'd hit my head and was out cold.

"Oh shit, Jimmy. You knocked him out. The Judge said we weren't supposed to hurt him. You're going to be in trouble if he's hurt. You might even end up back in Jail."

They scooped me up and put me in the back of a car.

A little while later I was sitting on a chair in the Judge's hotel room. I'd been awake the whole time, but I pretended to be out cold. Annie ran over to me as soon as they brought me in and put me in the chair. She started kissing me and then noticed that I was out cold.

As soon as the Judge showed up she launched herself at him. Her fingernails raked his arm and cheek drawing blood. "You weren't supposed to hurt him, you bastard. I'll kill you." One of the giants grabbed her around the waist to keep her from hurting the Judge.

"God Damn it, Annie. I'm bleeding," said the Judge.

"If I get loose you'll be dying you old fucker. You'd better hope he's okay."

"Unh," I said pretending I was waking up. Actually I was kind of shocked. Annie actually did care about me some.

"Justin, are you okay son," asked the Judge. "Do you need anything?"

"I need a computer with internet access," I said. "And you need a hammer."

"There's a computer in the study," he said. "But why do I need a hammer."

Annie started kissing me again when she saw that I was okay. "Judge, call off your slut," I said. "I thought this meeting was supposed to be just us."

"Well, Annie will find out eventually what's going on and this does concern her. Although like her father and her brother, she may not like some of the things we're going to talk about. Some people just aren't ready for the big picture," he smiled.

"You mean like yourself," I said smiling back at him. "That's why I told you that you needed a hammer. So you could get some of those nails out of your coffin, but you keep slamming that lid shut."

The Judge was suddenly on edge. I could see that he'd suddenly started looking at me strangely.

"I'm surprised Judge," I said leaning back in the chair in front of the computer."Everyone is always talking about how fucking smart you are. I'm underwhelmed at your intelligence. At every step during this process you've been a day late and a dollar short.

At lunch the other day, I got you all to go to a restaurant here, while I doubled back to Chicago and not only told Dawn what Jack was doing and with whom, I got her to file for a divorce and moved her and Greg out of their house, all while the four of you sat there in that restaurant."

"Sooner or later Jack will get to talk to her," said the Judge. "He'll convince her to come home. It's your word against the man she married. I'm betting on Jack."

"Still a step behind Judge," I smirked pulling out my phone. I pressed play and started the video. "High definition video takes all of that 'your words against mine' bullshit off the table. God Damn it," I screamed suddenly. "This video is so clear I can see all of your liver spots Judge."

He reached for my phone. "Come on Judge, the only stupid guy here is you," I said. I looked across the floor at the two giants who seemed to be angry. "Okay, I'm sorry, you guys are stupid too."

Annie laughed.

"Judge, I've already made lots of copies of this video and all of the other tapes too. They're in the hands of several people around town. I've got lots of evidence to help me take you down and I keep getting more and more."

I sat down at the computer and called up a webpage. "This is called online storage Judge," I clicked a button and the feed from my home surveillance cameras came on."

The judge stepped back when he heard my masterful performance incriminating him in my kidnapping.

"But Justin, this isn't kidnapping," he said. "I just sent these men to pick you up."

"Yeah Judge but they picked me up against my will and knocked me out to get me to come. They also did it on your orders. That is definitely kidnapping. You're a Judge. You know all of that legal shit. Kidnapping is a felony isn't it?"

"Justin, what are you trying to do?" asked the Judge. He was very nervous now.

"I've already told you Judge. You and your brother and your nephew ruined my life. You destroyed the most precious thing I had. So you're all going to pay for it," I said.

"But Justin, we can work this out. I'm trying to work this out with you," he stammered. "You haven't even listened to any of my offers yet."

"Okay Judge," I said. "What can you offer me to replace my soul-mate? What do you have that is worth a tenth of what my Annie meant to me?"

Annie started crying then and shaking her head. "Justin, he doesn't have to replace me. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not broken and I'm just stupid. I'll never do it again and I'll never, ever stop loving you. Listen to his two offers."

"Actually there are more than two offers, Justin and I'm willing to negotiate," said the Judge.

"Let's hear them," I said.

"Well first off there's the family offer. We keep this as just one of those incidents that bring the family closer together. We keep it all in the family. The boys and I, as we promised will never even speak to my niece again without you being there and saying we can."

"In order for that to work I'd have to trust you, them and her," I said. I don't trust any of you. Especially not her," I said. "And all I get out of that would be the whore who's cheated on me and made me a fool for over four years, back. You guys get less than a slap on the wrist. I get pain, heart ache, my life and my marriage ruined. And I lose the person who I loved most. In her place I get some woman who looks like the woman who promised to love me and be faithful to me, but is really only your whore. No thanks."

"Okay," said the Judge. "Offer number two, you cancel the divorce for at least three years and I give you a million dollars."

I started laughing my ass off. "Judge, Annie and I both had good jobs. We could already do or buy anything we wanted. I loved her with all of my heart and I was sure she loved me the same. I'd have trusted her with my life. If it was necessary I'd have taken a bullet for that woman. Money can't give me that back."

"Offer number three," said the Judge. "You divorce Annie, but remove any mention of my name in the paperwork. I still give you the million dollars. You can move on with your life and not have to worry about working while you find someone new."

"What?" screamed Annie. "You dirty old bastard. You'd sell your own family out like that." One of the giants restrained her.

"Offer number four," said the Judge calmly. "You get a million dollars and the divorce. You move the divorce to Chicago. I expedite not only your divorce, but Dawn's as well so the two of you can get together."

"Nooo!" Annie screamed. "When I get loose I'm going to kill you."

"All I ask," said the Judge "is that you don't mention me in the case."

I pretended to be thinking about the offers. "I'll throw in jail time for my brother and nephew," he said. "Especially Jack, he deserves to be in jail for fucking Annie,"

"Justin, please," said Annie. "Don't make a deal with this bastard. Let's just leave. I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. If it takes me a hundred years, I swear I'll win back your trust."

"I think I want," I began. The tension in the room increased all of a sudden. "Option two." Before the words were out of my mouth Annie was jumping up and down and screaming. The Judge had a smile on his lips.

"Only, I want a million and a half," I said. "And I want it in cash."

"Okay," said the Judge. "You two have breakfast and I'll have the cash brought over. Remember you can't divorce her under any circumstances for three years and even then you can't mention my name period in any divorce action."

"You will stay away from her though, right?" I asked.

"Justin, there are plenty of fish in the sea. It will be easy for me to find another. It'll even be easy for me to find another niece. Annie wasn't the first of my nieces that I had a relationship with. Hell she isn't even the best looking one."

"You weren't saying that when I was sucking you off," snapped Annie. "None of you were worth a drop of Justin's cum."

She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Annie, we're not fixed yet," I snapped. "So please don't touch me. We're going to have to go through counseling and a lot of therapy. Even then things may never be the way they were." She nodded her head and started crying.

"I'm just so glad to have a chance to be back in your life," she said. "I love you Justin. I wasn't going to give you a divorce under any circumstances."

"Why don't you get on the phone and find us a counselor," I said. "Try to set up and appointment for tomorrow. The sooner we start, the sooner we can begin to fix us."

"I'll be back in an hour or so," I said. "Will the money be here by then?"

"Definitely," said the judge. "I was expecting you to ask for more."

"I need to make a couple of phone calls and get my car," I said.

"Are you going to tell Jack where to find Dawn?" asked the Judge."

"Hell no, Fuck Jack," I said. "I'm going to do my best to get Dawn free of that asshole. She deserves so much better than him. Judge, your money, got you off the hook. I didn't say anything about letting the others off."

"Do what you gotta do," said the Judge. "I have no part in this."

"Justin, what is with all of this talk about Dawn?" asked Annie. "Is there something going on between you two?"

"Not yet," I said.

"Why can't we just work on getting back where we used to be?" she asked. "Why do we have to waste our energy on Jack?"

"Annie, if you had someone or something in your life that you couldn't live without and someone tried to take it from you, what would you do?" I asked.

"Why do you think I asked you about Dawn?," said Annie. "Justin, there was a point in my life where if Jack hadn't been there, I might not have survived. He was there for me when I really needed love. We had some really great times and I will always be indebted to him for that."

"But that time ended when you committed yourself to me," I said. Especially when you took my ring and married me and Jack knew that."

"But Ju..." she began. I turned my head slightly and looked at her. She stopped in mid sentence and nodded her head. I got a cab to take me home. I conferred with my buddies when I got there.

"You're bringing her home?" asked Mike incredulously.

"Of course not," I said. "Just be ready, this will probably all be over with tonight. I need you to have the police ready for the final act when all of the remaining players take the stage. Oh, but before that, did you get your buddy with the helicopter to help?" He nodded smiling.

I drove back to the hotel. There was a medium sized briefcase right by the Judge's desk. It was amazing how small a million and a half dollars could be. He opened the case. It was all in hundred dollar bills. Each bundle had one hundred, crisp new hundred dollar bills. 150 bundles totaled 1.5 million dollars.

"We're rich," said Annie. "We can start out by taking a nice vacation. We need some time together to help us get over this. Then we're going to move away to a different city. I'll probably never see you again Uncle Dan, so bye."

"No Annie, we need to get therapy first to help me get over wanting to throw up every time I see you. I keep seeing you fucking Jack and that kiss you gave him. I'm still jealous."

"Baby, you don't need to be jealous of anyone. I love only you," said Annie. "Over the past few days I've learned that I wouldn't give you up for anyone, my brother included. Nothing like that will ever happen again."

"Somehow the money just doesn't seem worth it," I said. "Annie, if someone told you they'd give you even two million dollars for you to watch me fuck some other woman, would you take it?"

"Probably not," she said. "I might accept the money but I'd lose it because as soon as the bitch touched you, I'd kick her ass and have to give the money back."

"Annie that's exactly how I feel about you," I said. "I'd never even accept the money."

We said goodbye to the Judge who was smiling as we left. We went down to the first floor in the elevator. We went out to my car. I waved up at the Judge's hotel room as we got into my Mustang.

We drove about a block and then I turned to Annie and kissed her. She melted.

"God Justin, do you know how much I've missed that. Jack's kisses are nothing compared to yours no matter what you think it looks like."

"That's good to know," I said coldly. "Now, get the fuck out of my car." Her face fell and she looked at me in shock.

"Justin, what do you mean?" she asked stupidly.

"Get the fuck out of my car," I said. "Do I have to spell the words for you?"

"But...But..." she said starting to cry.

"If you do that a lot faster it'll sound like a motor boat," I said reaching across her and opening the door.

"But you told Uncle Dan," she said.

"I told that bastard what he wanted to hear," I snapped. "Why the hell should he believe anything I say? I'd never make any kind of deal with him. He fucked my wife. He deserves what he gets. And what he just got was 1.5 million dollars poorer. I'm still divorcing your cheating ass and I'm still naming him and your father and your dumb assed brother."

She just looked at me. "Annie, I already told you. You were like a part of my soul. I'd never trade you for money, and in a very real way those bastards took you from me. The closeness that we had, that total faith and belief I had in you is gone and I'll never get it back. Even if we did try to stay together, it just wouldn't be the same. Goodbye Annie. Have a great life. And next time you fall in love, don't lie to him."

I drove off and left her standing there with tears streaming down her face.

I'd just gotten off the phone with Dawn, when they arrived. I had just told Dawn that I had to go and that she should give Greg a hug for me, when the door was kicked open and the frame splintered.

"Hi guys," I said smiling. "You guys really are stupid, aren't you? And I expected you over an hour ago. You didn't have to kick the door in. I left it open for you. Oh well I'm sure one of you has enough money to pay for it. If not don't worry about it. I just came into a lot of money today. I can afford to have it fixed."

"The Judge is really mad," said one of them. "He said to bring you to him now! He said you have to tell us where the cameras are so we can break them."

"Oh don't worry about that," I said. "Fuck the Judge, you have much bigger problems."

As the two looked at me, two of my friends, Archie Bunker and George Jefferson who were even bigger than them came out. Archie and George weren't just oversized street thugs. They were trained ex military. They quickly tasered the two gorillas and took them away. Our plan was to leave them naked and without ID in the deserts of Mexico, ten miles from the border. Mike's friend with the helicopter would fly them out into the desert and drop them off while they slept. That way we wouldn't have to smuggle them across the border. Mike's friend often flew things into and out of Mexico and most of them were illegal, so he had no problem ferrying the two drugged gorillas for us.

With their dark skin and hair and no ID, they'd have a hell of a time convincing the border patrol agents that they were US citizens. Plus the Mexican drug cartels weren't really very nice to anyone these days.

I decided to stir the pot a bit more. I picked up the phone and called the Judge.

"Hi Uncle Dan," I said brightly. He sputtered and fumed.

"Justin, God damn it, we had a deal. Annie is crying her eyes out and I want my money back unless you intend to go through with it. Put Mongo on the phone. I didn't tell them to give you the phone. I told them to bring your ass here so we could settle this."

"Mongo isn't available," I said. "You probably won't be hearing from either one of those guys for a very long time if ever. And as for our deal Judge, once again you're a day late and a dollar short. You really are stupid aren't you? Why would I honor any kind of a deal with a guy who fucked my wife. You have no honor Judge. You willingly had sex with a married woman. So you deserve no honest dealings. I told you we were at war. I'm truly sorry, if I hurt Annie any more but she hurt me too, a lot more. At least all I did was to give her a false hope that we'd get back together. She ripped my heart out without warning.

I slammed the phone down and told the guys to get ready. Archie and George hid again and Mike went out to get some friends of his who were working for the local police department.

It took the Judge about two hours to get his shit together. It had just gotten dark and I was sitting on the porch waiting for him and getting really bored when a car came barreling up.

"Looks like its show time," I said to my friends who were hidden around the property.

The Judge got out of the car followed by Thom and Jack. Annie got out of the car last. My heart broke for her when I saw how sad she was.

Jack was smiling as he walked towards me. He and Thom carried guns. Thom had a shotgun and Jack had a handgun of some sort.

"Where the fuck did you hide my wife and my kid?" screamed Jack.

"Hi Jack," I said cheerfully. "I'd wondered where you were."

"Hi Jus..." he began. Then he realized what was going on and started screaming again. "Your tricks won't work on me. Where the Hell is Dawn?"