All Souls' Day

"The first time I saw you, Man was just in its infancy. I watched you, found you interesting. You have always been a healer, all through your many lives," he explained. "But your mind was young, and new. I've never been human, Grey. And I made mistakes with you."

"Huh?" I shook my head, hoping something would knock loose in there. "What happened?"

"I approached you and showed you my true form. You ran from me in fear. Your tribe tossed you out when you started telling them about me...you starved to death. In your next life you booked passage on a ship bound for the New World but you died at Plymouth Rock. After that, you were burned at the stake in a small New England village because they thought you were possessed by the devil. The lifetime after that-"

"Whoa!" I interrupted. "Did I die each and every time?"

"Yes, and it was my fault each and every time. At first it was because I didn't understand human emotions and I scared you. I caused you unbelievable terror and for that I am sorrier than I can even express. I grieved every time I had to escort your soul to Judgment." His eyes were filled with sorrow.

"As time went on, you began to resent Death... and me. Many times in many different lives I've heard you ask me to stay away. I've tried to make you understand that I don't have a choice. It's never been my decision -- who lived and who died." Azrael raised sad eyes to me. "This is a job I do, just like being a doctor is a job you do."

"Oh man." I cringed as I recalled all the times I told Death to stay out of my damn ER.

I hadn't understood. The more he talked, the more pieces of the past closed in on me.

My head began to pound as memories of past lives swept through me, the love, the fear, and the anguish all completely overwhelming. I remembered making love with him, then running from him in terror, never giving him a chance to explain.

"I'm so, so sorry." He whispered.

I watched as he stood in front of the door and waited. Waited for me to come to grips with all the information swirling around in my head. If what he said was true, then all the times I had died were his fault. If what he said was true, and he had really learned from his mistakes, he was trying to get it right this time. It was becoming clear to me that my resentment of Death was misplaced.

And another thought swirled through my mind that we had never just sat and talked. On the heels of that another thought hit me...that I wasn't the same person now as I was then. I was a whole lot fucking stronger now than I had been in any other lifetime, and more able to handle what he was.

Only one thing matter to me: I loved him. I realized with utter clarity that I always had, and did again.

"I didn't mean for you to find out like this." He gestured at the bed. "I did plan to tell you tonight, since it's Halloween or All Souls' Day. It just seemed right, but not like this, not while I was making love to you. I didn't want to frighten you."

I stared at him.

"That's why I went as myself tonight. I was hoping it would stir your memories, maybe make things easier when I revealed myself. Each time in the past when I found you, I always told you immediately. This time I waited, and still managed to mess it up."

"Was it difficult to wait?" I asked.

"No. Putting my own selfish desires aside and giving you the time you needed to get to know me was...fun. Please don't run, Grey. I don't think I can handle watching you die again, then trying to find you in another life."

Walking over to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled the potent aroma of our combined scents. Gently I kissed his surprised mouth.

"I love you," I said, my voice a low growl as my lips continued to brush his. "You know me, baby. You know I don't run. Not from anything. And I'm sure as hell not going to do anything as stupid as dying."

His wings pulsed around us, moving the air, shaking in their joy. My hair fluttered around my face as I kissed him again.

"Your wait ends now, and we begin the way we should have begun together long ago." I groaned as his strong hands caressed my back.

"I've waited an eternity for you, Grey." Azrael nibbled on my neck. "Be sure this is what you want, because once you accept me, I'll never let you go. I can't."

"I'm yours, Azrael. Just like you're mine, and you better know that," I said, smirking as I ground my reviving erection against him. "Yours, baby."

"Praise God."

"So, how do we make this work? You're not human, and I am." I snuggled in his embrace.

Azrael close his eyes, and seemed to be listening to something or someone I couldn't hear.

"You live your life, and do what you do so well...help those heal whose time hasn't come." Azrael answered. "And when your time finally comes, I'll escort you to Judgment for the last time. You'll be reborn an Angel of Death, my mate till time ends."

"You'll be able to handle me dying again?"

"Yes." He smiled at me. "It will be hard, but this time I'll know how it ends."

Azrael cradled in his arms, carrying me back to bed.

"I love you...you are the light to my dark, the joy to my sorrow, the life to my death. You are the other half of my soul, Beloved." I felt his big body tremble with joy as he lowered me back onto the bed.

"And I love you, my Angel of Death."