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"Traditionally, a Commodore commands a fleet of ships, usually three to five vessels though sometimes more. It is the 'fighting rank' of the admiralty ranks. After seeing the defence plans that you, Capt. Clark, and Capt. Whatt have come up with, setting you as the spider in the center of the web, I have no doubts that you can fill that role admirably. Thus, the rank of Commodore. Note that it is a 'brevet' rank, pending completion of the course.
"While, as Commodore, I might command you, you as the Civilian Authority would have command over this system. Your role, under my command structure, will be to integrate TUSN assets into the very imaginative defence strategy that you, your captains, and your staff have already worked out. Giving you equivalent status just ensures that you will have the necessary cooperation of the ship captains that will be employed here, making things easier for the both of us.
"Thank-you for your exemplary support to the Navy. Please continue it." Thenton concluded. The Tribunal rose, shook off their cloaks of office and walked over to shake the hands of the people who had just been singled out.
End of Chapter four
Yeah, yeah, I hear the purists out there saying "Really!" Civilian Equivalent? In a uniform? Just remember that this is a fictional piece set far into the future and that these kinds of things might be possible then and are certainly possible within my warped mind....
Please rate and comment but remember to keep your comments respectful.
Thanks, Bigtddybr
- COMMENTS
darussian7 months agoFirst chapter I didn’t rate a 5 and it’s going to be the only one I rate on this specific issue of yours even if (and I fully expect it to) it continues.
You’ve a tendency of having someone walk in, monologue and walk out. This really shows quite badly in the hospital scene where the doctor walks in, monologues about the options and then leaves. And the guy has no questions for anyone? No opinions? He just likes his tv shows. Unfortunately, to me as the reader, this just solidifies that that character is a moron. Or that the writing is just very poorly done. Perhaps he is a moron and I’m just unaware of that so far.
And the editing is slipping. It’s weird that it is steadily getting worse chapter after chapter. Generally that’s the opposite of how that one goes. Oh well, it’s still very good.
Anonymous7 months agoOkay... really intrigued and enjoying the story. However
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(1) Liea's bit with Lisette felt a bit forced and awkwardly timed. Like... did they just stop in the middle of the street or sidewalk while Liea talked about "glasses of w[h]ine"? Just felt weird.
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(2) the whole "now Liea has security, accountants, etc!" bit felt like a training montage or something from a movie. Y'know? Where you get little glimpses, one moment the players can barely pass the ball, then they're better in the next clip, then they're finally ready in the final clip. But I'm inordinately interested in the details and world-building, so take my 'plaints there with a large grain of salt.
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(3) I've never heard of anyone saying "light-second" or "light-minute" as "(insert number) seconds light/minute" Like "three-minutes light". Italian, German, British, and American nerd friends of mine all told me (when I inquired) that, no, in English they'd always say "light-minutes" etc. The Italian said he might say "secondi-luci" or something similar, but that's because of how Italian (and romance language) sentence structure works. Secondi-luci literally means light-seconds. Sorry, it was just... it's called a "light"(unit of time) because it's a distance measurement of how many (units of time) it would take light to travel the distance in question. For purposes of explanation: imagine it takes light 1 second to go one mile. Then you travel 2 miles from your starting point. You have now gone 2 light-seconds from your starting point. Does that make any sense at all? Bah. I'm tired.
Great story, and I can't wait to read more!
Anonymous7 months agoHaven't finished the chapter (actually just finished the abbreviation explanation) but already commented on previous chapter twice. So...idk it made sense in my head to comment here instead.
ANYway...is there a reason the ships go by "NS" (Naval/Navy Ship) instead of something like "USNS" (Union Space Navy Ship) or "TUSNS" (Terran Union Space Navy Ship) or "TUS" (Terran Union Ship) or even "UNS" (Union Navy Ship)? I mean "Navy Ship" isn't super clear, is it? Whose navy? I mean HMS is "His/Her Majesties Ship" which isn't super descriptive either, but I think it's still more descriptive and less sort-of "generic" than "Navy Ship"...but I could be wrong, and it's your story. I was just curious why you specifically went with just "NS".
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Pardon the length of this, I'm a David Weber fan, and consequently a lover of ships of all kinds, so naming and prefix conventions are an interest of mine.
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Now to read the chapter! Woo!
Anonymousover 1 year agoI must admit that I am not paying much attention to the sex parts in this story because I am enjoying the rest of it so much. This is a brilliant story.
Anonymousover 1 year agoHuge fan of this series. To the author: I am enthralled. I really enjoy the details you put into your story. I like the approach you have when writing your story into scenarios. This could be a published work as a romance novel of some sort for us nerdettes who enjoy sci-fi and heady word porn. Thank you for your work.
