- Gay Male
- All that Matters
- Page 3
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"No. Not until the divorce was finalized. But since you're here..." He sighed again and reached out one hand, his palm upward, waiting patiently until I placed my hand in his. "You're not responsible for the divorce and I didn't want you to think that you somehow might be, or that I was basing my decision to go through with it on whether you'd actually be willing to give us a go. I was unfair to everybody. To Juliet and the girls, to you. I had to try and fix things, to set everybody free. You see?"
I pulled my hand away as the waiter approached us with the drinks, an automatic reaction that I couldn't help.
"I don't know if I'm willing to come out of the closet. Maybe in a few years. I just don't know," he warned me.
"That's okay. I'm not exactly the poster boy for out, loud and proud myself."
"And so?"
"And so?"
"Are you willing? To give it a go with me? We can take it as slowly or as quickly as you--"
I interrupted him. This time around, I had to say it. I had to let the ripple catch up with me again.
"I love you, Trevor."
He smiled at me and took my hand again.
"I love you, too. I don't know when or how it happened. I just know that I do. And that I need you."
"Exactly," I breathed.
*******************
Having never lived with somebody before, I never quite appreciated the level of logistics required to combine two households, small though they both may be. Trevor is an old hand.
"Just be glad one of us isn't pregnant and throwing up all the time, and that we're not also simultaneously planning a big wedding," he told me on the phone, after I'd finished bitching about something or other, then he quickly changed the subject.
I wondered if he was implying a shotgun wedding, events overtaking him and forcing him into choices he wouldn't have otherwise made. Even if it that's how it had happened, knowing Trevor, it would have only been part of his story, so I didn't ask him about it. At the end of the day, trying to determine what makes us who we are and how we reached this point is as impossible as trying to figure out when our feelings for each other developed into something we could base a joint future and life on.
We're here now, and we love each other, and that's all we need to know and all that matters.
- COMMENTS
TimothyMover 11 years agoEvery time I read this story I find a new aspect to interest and delight me. The idea that Marcus call 'his biggest lie' is actually one of the things I respect in him. Even if in the end he does become a threat to Trevor's marriage, he did not set out to do this. If possible I would like to meet this couple again, maybe just in passing in another story.
Anonymousover 11 years agoOver the years I have read everything you have posted here and I have loved it all but something about this story has made it my favourite. It may be that you leave a lot to our imaginations which can be very erotic, but also that it is so real and the dilemnas so universal. I also think there is a lot of humour-like being so drunk you forget your hotel name, having to call your partner in the middle of the night and serenading them to find out. It is so vivid in my mind I feel like I was there too. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent and stories with us.
TimothyMover 11 years agoI had to read this story several times in order to really appreciate it. But somehow it gradually got under my skin, and even now - though I know it has a happy ending - reading the part with the break-up makes my gut clench. Impressive in all its understated, tense, realistic romance.
