Amber's Summer of Love Ch. 02

Amber was stunned. She thought Melanie would tell her to go for it with her brother but the swimwear designer instead took the conservative approach. And then she added another wrinkle by propositioning Amber again, telling her she'd be happy to make love to her in her brother's place. "Melanie, I don't think I'll ever understand you," she said. "But thank you for not caving in to my whining and telling me it's all right to sleep with your brother. As for you taking his place, at least sexually, don't hold your breath on that. I'm decidedly a boy-and-girl girl, at least for now."

The two young women changed the course of their conversation and parted shortly thereafter, Melanie to resume her shopping and Amber to return to her cottage.

The rest of the day passed without incident and Jan asked her daughter if she was seeing Sam again that night. "I'm not sure, mom," Amber replied. "Sam didn't say anything about coming by today when he left last night. We don't have to see one another every night." But secretly she was sad that Sam hadn't said anything about coming by. Maybe last night's torrid scene on the beach had Sam second-guessing his involvement with her. He wasn't the type to get connected to an overheated, clingy girlfriend. Amber's concern grew and her depression over the couple's relationship deepened. Her mother turned toward the living room, gathering up a lap robe and her book and curling up near the window to read before daylight disappeared.

Amber was thankful her mother didn't pursue the conversation. She was drained by her intense meeting with Melanie and wasn't ready for another soul-searching discussion of feelings she didn't really even understand herself. She walked slowly upstairs and stretched across her bed, trying to focus her thoughts on anything but Sam. She turned onto her back, staring at the ceiling and throwing her arm across her eyes hoping to block out the light and her darkening thoughts. Try as she could, she wasn't able to squeeze Sam out of her mind. What was happening to her? She'd always been able to ignore boys' advances, their flirting and not-so-subtle attempts to gain her attention. Why, then, has Sam so completely captured her soul, altered her reality and turned her thoughts in directions she'd never even considered? How can someone who's never been intimate with a boy be suddenly obsessed with thoughts of sex? She doesn't even know HOW to have sex, for gosh sakes! Her internal argument raged, blocking out the sound of her mother calling to her up the stairs.

"Amber! Come down, please. Sam's here to see you." Jan had taken two steps up the stairs when her daughter emerged from her room, starting to descend the staircase. "Oh, there you are. I wasn't sure you heard me. Sam dropped by but didn't want to bother you. I told him you'd be excited to see him."

Amber tried to muster enthusiasm to match her mother's mood. "Thanks, mom. I was just taking a catnap. I'm glad you came up to get me."

The pair rounded the corner of the stairs into the living area where Sam stood nervously awaiting their arrival. He stepped quickly to embrace Amber, as though the act would melt his anxiety and cut through the tension he was feeling in his girlfriend.

Sensing his discomfort, Amber returned his embrace and put extra heat into her kiss. Her body molded to his and she clung longer than she -- or her mother -- thought appropriate given where they were. "I'm glad you came," she whispered to him, clinging long enough for Sam's evident excitement to recede enough that it wasn't apparent to Jan.

"Are you going out?" Jan asked. "If so, please don't be too late. I have to work tomorrow and I'd like to be able to have breakfast with Amber before I leave."

Sam assured her they wouldn't be late. "I know Amber wasn't expecting me tonight," he said, "so I won't risk wearing out my welcome by keeping her too late. Thank you for permitting me to monopolize her attention the last few days. It's meant a lot to me."

Taking his girlfriend's hand, Sam headed for the door. Amber pulled back on him gently. "Wait, Sam, I want to say good night to mom," she said, turning back to embrace her mother. "Thanks, mom, for supporting me. We'll be fine -- all of us."

Jan turned quickly toward the stairs so the young people wouldn't see the silver shimmer in her eyes. Her daughter's reassurance that she and Sam would make their best effort to remain chaste until their school careers were over swelled her heart with pride. She knew it was unlikely that two young people who passionately cared for one another could resist becoming intimate for four, five or six years. But she knew from her daughter's quiet promise that all would be well that the pair were committed to each other and to the goal of remaining virgins until school was over.

Sam and Amber strolled down the boardwalk hand in hand. Neither wanted to break the silence and each was engrossed in private thoughts. For his part, Sam was concerned that Amber had second thoughts about the previous night's interlude, that he had crossed the line with her and might have lost her forever. Amber, on the other hand, had once again returned to the thoughts that plagued her in her bedroom. How could she be so obsessed with sex when she hadn't ever been physically involved with a boy? And how could Sam -- whose Peeping Tom foray enraged her just a week ago -- so totally captivate her and envelop her every thought?

They walked in silence before Sam stopped, his grip tightening on Amber's hand as she continued forward, lost in her thoughts. "What?" she asked, turning to face Sam. "I'm sorry," he said. "I knew it was wrong, that it would cost me the most important thing in my life, and I still let it happen. And I'd do anything to go back and do it all differently."

Amber stared at him as if he were speaking a foreign language. What was he talking about? Was he dumping her or something? What had she done? The more she thought, the more upset she became. Suddenly, without saying a word, Amber began to cry. She collapsed on Sam's shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

Sam knew. As this beautiful young woman collapsed in his arms, he knew. He'd blown it. Giving in to Amber's passion last night had irrevocably damaged their new relationship. And now she was so distraught she couldn't even talk to him about it.