Among The Gods 02: Giving In

"I do it too," he admitted, quietly. Without looking at him, she smiled, instinctively reaching out to grab his hand. Another thoughtless, instinctive touch. Reaching out. Sharing. He tensed up for a moment, and then gave her hand a little squeeze.

"So what now?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted.

While Eli had been walking the streets and planning his apology, Mia had been planning a speech of her own. It was a wild and deeply improper speech, and she had been certain she wouldn't have the courage to actually say it. It was just... a fantasy. A nice dream. But now, she opened her mouth, and it spilled out as easily as breath.

"I don't want to live by the Monolith's rules any more." Eli jerked as if stung, but she pressed on, squeezing her hand as hard as she could, silently begging him not to leave. "I hate it. I've always hated it. I never realised, but I did. I hated having to say how stupid and dirty and worthless I was. And I hated having to listen to you say it, and mother and father, and everyone else too. And now the village is gone, and everyone who spent every day saying words about how worthless they were is dead, and we're here, and the Monolith didn't protect us at all. And everyone here is so nice, and kind, and they're always touching and hugging, and they're so happy, and those people in the park didn't think they were worthless or dirty or weak, they just wanted to share themselves with each other. And they were so happy, and Dina and Roth are so happy and kind, and I don't care if they're everything the Monolith said we shouldn't be, I want to be them, but I don't want to be anything if I'm not being it with you." The last few dozen words came out of her in a rush, her well rehearsed speech getting muddled and confused. When she was finished, she sat there panting, holding onto Eli's hand as tightly as she could, desperately hoping for the strength to stop him from leaving.

Eli didn't know exactly what was going on, but he could feel the ground shifting. Whatever was happening now, they wouldn't be the same after as they were before. It was like standing at the edge of a deep, fast-moving river. That water would take him somewhere, and he had no idea of where. All he had was faith in that water, and in the person he was stepping into it with. He took a deep breath, and took the plunge. "I hate it. I hate feeling like a failure and a freak for... for..." For loving you. For wanting you. For needing you. "- for wanting what I want. And I hate thinking about you feeling like that, because you're not any of those things. You're..." Wonderful, spectacular, beautiful, amazing... "...not those things." He turned to look at her for the first time in a while. "So what now?"

Mia leaned over and kissed him on the lips, and this time he didn't jerk or pull away. Instead, he kept still, enjoying the soft warm of her, the closeness of her, the smell of her skin and her hair, still damp with water and the gentle, flower petal soap she had used to wash it.

When Mia finally broke the kiss, she could have been a different person. A deep pink flush painted her face, a smile on her full lips, new light in her eyes. "I want to share myself with you," she said. "Share yourself with me. Please?"

Tension bubbled up through their bodies. This was apparently going to happen, and neither of them had any idea where to start. After a long moment, Eli decided to take another plunge and do something he had thought about a lot, but never dared to try: he leaned forward and kissed her, pressing his own mouth against her warm, full lips. She gasped in surprise and pleasure. After a long moment, they both broke, giving into the natural instincts of their bodies for the first time in their lives.

Mia's arms slid around Eli's neck, tightening possessively; Eli's slipped around her waist, pulling her close to him, causing bodies to press against each other. It was electric for both of them - a sudden overwhelming awareness of each other's heat and solidity, each no longer a distant thing to be admired, but a thing they could touch and feel. Their lips were busy, a flurry of small, shy kisses passing between them.

When they stopped, they found they were laughing, a surge of shock and sensation making them both light headed and giggly. Mia leaned her forehead on Eli's shoulder, while he buried her face in her hair, both sets of shoulders shaking with the power of the moment.

A few minutes passed, and it died down, leaving them pressed against each other, unsure how to proceed. Eli had his arms wrapped around her, warm hands on her back; he wondered what he should do next, how he would make her happy, what he had to avoid doing. Were there rules? Surely there must be rules. Maybe he should have asked what the rules were.

For the first time that she could remember, Mia felt good - not good but, or good except, but just good - warm and safe, but also jittery and excited. She could have happily stayed like this, her body pressed against this, forever, but for one thing: more than anything, she wanted to feel his bare skin against hers. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore; she pushed away from him, looking him in the eyes. His face was as red as hers.

"Are - are you -?" he tried. She pressed his finger against his lips, shushing him, and then slid her fingers under her top and yanked, pulling her chemise over her head to drift, abandoned to the floor. Eli's eyes went wide as he saw her bare skin for the first time: slender shoulders, shapely arms, flat stomach - and of course her tight, pert breasts, topped with small, pink nipples - like delicate berries against her smooth skin. Eli felt a straining in his trousers.

Mia led back on the bed, pushing off her own loose trousers; as they fell to the floor, Eli realised that for the first time, she was completely naked. He blushed, averting his eyes out of habit.

"Eli," she whispered, her voice husky. "Look. I want you to look at me."

He looked at her. Like her shoulders, her hips were narrow, giving her a sleight, almost girlish figure; yet, there was a slight swelling there as well, the beginnings of an almost-Irnian curve, flowing out from her waist around her hips. For some reason (he could not think why) he had expected the skin between her thighs to be bare, like the woman in the park; instead, a thick bush of hair stretched from just below her belly, down over her mound and between her thighs; it was the same dark blonde as the loose wave of hair that was now spread around her head, gilding the bed with deep gold. Seeing that he was watching her, Mia (already blushing as deep a red as she could) bent her knees, slowly opening her thighs to show him what lay between. She ran the tips of her fingers through the soft hair, tracing them along the wet, puffy lips of her sex. It was not a show like the woman in the park had put on, but she hoped he liked it.

He did. Eli very much liked it. He wanted to say something, tell Mia how beautiful she was, how he made her feel, but he didn't have any words. All he could do was stare at her, heart thumping in his chest.

"Can I see you?" she asked shyly. Wordless, Eli pulled his own shirt over his head, pushing the work trousers down over his hips. As he had seen her, now Mia got to see Eli's naked body for the first time.

Eli was built like every man in his family - tall, broad-shouldered, and strong. Life on the farm had given him a thick, heavy musculature that rolled across his shoulders and chest and down his arms. A light coat of dark brown hair speckled his chest, and gathered down into a tapering line that cut down the centre of his flat stomach to join with the thick bush that covered his pelvis, surrounding his manhood. Mia's eyes almost bugged out again at the sight of him, erect and throbbing, veins standing out against the smooth skin. She knew, in a general way, that he was supposed to fit inside her, but she couldn't imagine how that would be possible, now that she was staring at him this close. With no previous experience, she didn't know that he was only slightly above average, seven inches long but pleasantly thick. He was so hard that she could see a glimpse of the dark purple head, peaking out of his foreskin.

They both giggled again, as they realised they were staring at each other, and Mia held out her hand to him, drawing him onto the bed with her.

"What do I -" Eli tried. Biting her lip, Mia took his hand, rubbing his palm and fingers between her own. His hands were big and strong, rough from hard work - she couldn't imagine anything she wanted more right now than for him to put those hands on her. She drew it to her, pressing his palm against the soft flesh of her breast, gasping as the almost burning heat of his palm enveloped her hard nipple. His breathing quickened and caught, feeling the hard bud pressing into his hand, and he couldn't stop himself from squeezing slightly, feeling the soft skin yield and flex under his fingers. Mia gasped, body going rigid. "I'm sorry!" he gasped, trying to pull his hand away, but she kept hold of him, pushing his hand against her as she pressed her chest up, away from the bed.

"Eli..." she whimpered.

"Are you... okay?"

"I'm wonderful," she promised. She drew his hand upwards long enough to kiss his fingertips, before guiding it down over the smooth skin of her stomach towards the desperate, hungry heat between her legs.

His first fumbling touch was rough and overeager, making her gasp in pain and pull her hips away from him instinctively. "I'm sorry!" he said hoarsely.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Just... be gentle." She placed her hand over his, curling his fingers down and guiding the two of them she wanted to the bud of pleasure between her lips. "Just there..."

"Like this?" He gently rubbed his fingers in circles around the nub. The effect was immediate and electric: Mia gasped and bucked her hips, back arched and rigid. He quickly pulled his hand away again. "I'm sorry!"

"No," she moaned. "Like that - don't stop." Hesitantly, he ran his fingers between her folds again, rubbing in gentle circles. She gasped and moaned - a high, breathy sound that shook in her throat. He quickly realised that these were not gasps of pain. The woman in the park had let out long, low, lusty moans - these were just Mia's version, high and tense and shaking. "Faster," she begged, and he obliged, slowly increasing the speed with which he circled her clit. Her breathing picked up, coming faster and faster and he slowly built up his pace. He could feel her wetness under his fingers, but his eyes were locked on her face: eyes closed, mouth open, excited and hungry, open and honest - and no longer afraid or tired. He had never seen her look this alive.

At the last moment, she thought again of the woman in the park, how she had thrashed around and moaned, sending her pleasure into the open air without shame or censure. Mia wanted to be that. She didn't want to hide, or feel dirty, or clamp her hands over her mouth to keep her pleasure in. She wanted to be wild and shameless. She wanted to be wanton and joyful.

Mia threw her head back, opening her mouth and throat as wide as she could as the wave hit her, pulsing out from her belly like the rumbling throb of an earthquake. Ecstasy lanced through her, her toes curling, her fingers digging into the blankets as she moaned and whimpered at the top of her lungs. It went on for only a little while, a couple dozen of his rapid heartbeats, at most, and then she suddenly bent the other way, back flexing and hips pushing back into the bed. Her hand fumbled for Eli's, knocking it away. "I'm sorry," he said, "did I -?"

"No," she gasped, sucking in air like she had just been drowning. "Just... too sensitive..." She grabbed his arm, pulling him down onto the bed beside her so that she could press her bare skin against his. His breath shook as he felt her soft breasts and hard nipples against his chest, her bare arms around his naked waist, her stomach against his, her hips and thighs pressed up against his throbbing - he flushed a deep red.

Mia was in heaven. She had experienced a few peaks in the last week - dirty, shameful releases of pressure that had left her feeling calmed, but vaguely disgusted. This was nothing like that; Eli's fingers had pushed to the top of that peak, and then catapulted her up off it, through the clouds and into the stars. Now her head felt fuzzy and her skin was tingling, goose pimples crawling all over her naked body. It had also thoroughly blown away the last tattered vestiges of doubt. If this was what having a corrupt soul felt like, she'd gladly take it - take it, devour it, roll in it, immerse herself in it like lake water. She didn't even feel ashamed at how much she enjoyed the feeling of Eli's hardness pressed against her. She gave his waist a squeeze, then slid her arm down, stroking his erection with her warm hand.

Eli gasped and moaned at her touch. She wasn't any more experienced, so her fumbling wasn't any better than his had been, but her touch was more than enough. As she wrapped her hand awkwardly around it, palm pressed against the head and fingers caressing him, sliding the skin over the sensitive hardness underneath, he thought he was going to faint. His own reservations had dissolved as soon as she had told him she wanted his touch. The words of the Litany faded into irrelevancy - this sensation, this closeness, held such a powerful sense of visceral rightness that nothing would ever convince him it was corrupt or base. He felt like he was touching beauty and breathing light. And the full throated moan that Mia had made had soaked right into his body and mind; more than anything, he wanted to make her make that noise every day for the rest of his life. He knew, however, that if she kept touching him like that -

Eli pushed her hand away from him. "What's wrong?" Mia asked, pressing her forehead against his.

"Nothing," he breathed. "I just - it's - when it happens for me, it makes a mess."

Mia thought of the man in the park, of his moans and the arcs of white he had splattered onto the stone steps, and giggled. Eli went, if possible, more red. She kissed him again - a deep hungry kiss, and pulled his arm across her, rolling onto her back. "Then don't make a mess on the bed," she breathed.

Eli's eyes went wide. "You mean -"

Mia nodded, running the tips of her fingers along the skin of his arms. "Share with me," she breathed. Eli clumsily got up, and she opened her legs for him, letting him position his hips between her thighs. He was right above her now, and she could see the strain on his face, the desperate hunger in his eyes. It sent shivers through her.

"Are you sure?" His voice was husky, barely above a whisper.

She bit her lip and nodded, reaching down to wrap her hand around him, guiding him to the entrance she had discovered during her explorations - not that she had needed much exploring, after what she had seen. "Be gentle," she begged.

"Always," he promised.

The pressure from his hips was slow and delicious. With her hand guiding him, his head pressed against her opening, gently pushing forward as the wet, warm lips of her labia gave way. "Are you okay?" he gasped.

She nodded. It didn't... hurt, exactly. His first slow, careful push into her was just uncomfortable, as his organ stretched her, entering her where nothing had entered her before. Soon, however, the discomfort began to fade, and it became an entirely different experience. It was... bliss. An entirely different kind of bliss from climax, but bliss nonetheless. It was just so real - the weight of his hips on her thighs, his strong shoulders under her hands, the heat and throbbing thickness of him inside her. Once she was used to it, she just felt pleasantly full, like a gap in her that she never knew was there had been filled. Every time he moved, or especially every time his thing moved, she felt it, whether he was sliding into or out of her, or it was throbbing and twitching inside her. The look of wondrous euphoria on Eli's face made it even better, as every twitch was accompanied by a gasp or an involuntary eye roll.

"You can go faster," she said, breathily.

"I... don't want to hurt you," he said a tremble in his voice.

"I'll say if you do. But you're not hurting me right now. This feels... wonderful."

She whimpered as his hips began to move faster, his manhood sliding in and out of her with more rhythm. That felt spectacular. She had learned through experimentation how sensitive her lips and clitoris could be; it had never occurred to her that the area inside of her could be just as sensitive.

Eli's breaths were coming faster and harder, and she could feel his muscles tense and shivering under her kneading hands. She could see his eyes flickering, rolling up into his head before he forced them back down. He shuddered and moaned. "Eli," she gasped, "are you -"

"I'm sorry!" he groaned. His body folded, his back bowing as he buried his face between the soft globes of her breasts, letting out a long, loud, moan that resonated in her ears. For a terrible moment, she thought she had somehow broken him, and then she felt it - the powerful, throbbing spasm of him inside her, coupled with that feeling of something warm and fluid filling her up. She gasped, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly as he spent himself, body quaking. It wasn't the same feeling as that orgasmic peak of climax, but it was its own euphoria, feeling him lose himself completely in the welcoming warmth of her body, his world collapsing until it was only the two of them, throbbing with pleasure and love. If it has been anyone but Eli, maybe she would have been disappointed; but it was Eli, and the feeling of his pleasure shuddering through her body made her feel warm and blissful.

Finally, his arms gave out, and he collapsed, panting and shaking. She stroked his sweat-dampened hair, emotional tears prickling in her eyes.

"I'm... sorry..." he panted, "I... couldn't..."

Despite herself and her tears, Mia laughed, bathing as much of his face as she could reach in her kisses. "Don't ever say sorry. That was wonderful."

"I wanted... to make you... feel good..."

"You did. I didn't think anything like that was possible. I didn't think anything could ever feel like that. And then when you... I could feel you, inside me. I can't... I don't..."

He raised his head and looked into her tear stained eyes. She laughed again, pushing her face against his and kissing him. "I love you, Mia," he moaned.

"I love you, Eli," she sighed. An entirely different type of pleasure flowed through her body, and she remembered the face of the woman in the park again. That was how she felt now: fulfilled, warm, and serene.

Mia and Eli still had that little voice, parroting the strict words of the Litany in the back of their minds, when they woke up the next morning. Somehow, though, it just didn't seem so important anymore.

The first thing Eli noticed was the smell - the soft scent of Mia's hair, earthy and flowery and real. He opened his eyes to find her hair in his face, and became very aware of her soft, warm skin pressed against his. He was behind her again, one arm under her head like a pillow, while the other draped over her waist and then bent at the elbow, leaving his resting between her warm breasts. He was also acutely aware of the twitching, semi-hard excitement between his legs.

Mia's first experience was an all consuming warmth, as gentle as summer sunlight. As she rose slowly out of the darkness of a peaceful, dreamless sleep, she felt the heat radiating from his body against her back, the feeling of his muscular arms under head and over her stomach. It was blissful, and she never wanted it to end.