An Affair of the Heart

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A married woman's guilt over a heated affair.
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laffalot
laffalot
639 Followers

Prologue

I couldn't sleep. Lying in the darkened room, staring up into the blackness, and listening to the steady, even breathing of my husband asleep beside me, I could only think about love. There are so many songs about love, but for every one of those songs that celebrate love, there is another song about heartbreak and love lost. I was lost in thought about what it meant to love someone. I mean really love someone.

The question I kept going over in my mind was- is it possible to love more than one person at a time?. Of course the answer to that is 'yes', most people love both their parents, their grandparents, maybe even their extended family like aunts and uncles and cousins. Then there are friends that a person can love, and lets not forget pets.

So obviously, the real question that I was thinking about was- is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?'. A subtle change of words in the question made such a big difference in meaning.

Society will have you believe that love, true love, is something that you only find once in a lifetime. There is this thought that everyone has a soul mate, and that we should not stop searching for our soul mate until we find him or her. Seems silly when you think about the fact that there are over seven billion people on the planet, and if each person only has only one soul mate, how do we find the one, among so many? It boggles the mind when you think about it.

But what if that is wrong? What if we were supposed to fall in love more than once? Wouldn't we be shortchanging ourselves by finding only one and trying to be content with that? Who's to say that humans are supposed to only fall in love with one other person?

I'm not totally naive though, I understand that it is more complicated than that. There is the whole jealousy aspect that comes into play. If you truly love someone, you don't want them to go through the pain of seeing you fall in love with another person. So that makes things quite a bit more difficult.

I sighed, and turned onto my side so I could see the shape of my husband Derek, who was still sleeping soundly. My eyes had adjusted enough to make out broad shapes in the dark room, and I could see his head of tousled hair, which I had run my fingers through many times, his rounded ear, which I had nibbled and sucked on many times, and his slightly open mouth, which I had kissed many, many times.

There was plenty of his body that I couldn't see, but I could fondly remember. Like his buff chest with just the perfect amount of hair, which I had snuggled up against many times. Like his stomach with just a hint of a paunch, which I had playfully kidded him about a few times. Like his penis, which I had loved in more ways than one, with my mouth, with my pussy, and on a few, very rare occasions when I was a little tipsy, with my ass.

This was the man that I was in love with. The man that I had pledged to love, honor, obey, cherish, and all that other stuff. He was my rock, my steady place, my one and only for ten years now, and I had jeopardized that relationship because I had gone outside my marriage and had an affair.

Why do people have affairs? Usually there is some problem with their initial relationship, something that slowly, over time, erodes the bond that at one time seemed unbreakable. Sometimes couples just grow apart over time as the day in day out routine becomes boring. Other times cheating is ingrained in a person from the start, and they relish the hunt and the danger of getting caught.

My situation was different, although I'm quite sure there are many who would disagree with me. You see, I never once lost interest in my husband. I never wanted to find another lover because Derek gave me the fulfillment that I needed. I also never in a million years ever thought that I would find myself in a sexual relationship with a woman.

We hadn't grown apart either Derek and I, even after ten years I am still amazed at how he makes me feel, like I am the only woman in the world. My husband is truly a beautiful person, inside and out.

So why did I make the decision to go outside my marriage when I was so happy with my life as it was, and what happened when Derek found out about that affair? Well, in order to explain that, I need to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Jessica, and today is my thirty first birthday.

Chapter 1 - At the Mall

This story begins about a year ago when I went shopping at a local mall in town. I love to shop, and Derek loves to work in his workshop, so I would often leave him to play with his wood and I would go and do something that I enjoyed as well, spend money. On this particular day, I was walking along, shopping through the windows in the climate controlled corridor, when a pretty young woman stepped out of a clothing store right in front of me. She had been looking back over her shoulder, and I had been focused on a cute skirt and top set on a mannequin in the window, and we collided.

Our heads bumped together, her bags fell to the floor, and in my shock, I reached out and grabbed her arm to steady myself and her. I think we both said "OWW" at the same time. I immediately felt so bad because I hadn't been paying attention to where I was walking and I assumed that it was my fault that we collided.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I asked with genuine concern. I could see a lump already forming over her left eye and I wondered if I had my own lump forming on my cheekbone.

"Oh ah..." she rubbed the lump for a second and said "I've had worse, I'll be fine. It was my fault though. I was looking over my shoulder and walking forward. I'm the one who should apologize."

"Well, I wasn't looking where I was going either, so I guess we're both at fault." I admitted, then I saw her bags on the floor, and realized that I still had ahold of her arm, so I quickly let her go and said "Here, let me get these for you." and I helped her pick her stuff up.

As I handed her the bags, she looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you. I feel like such a klutz." she said.

"Your welcome, and I'm quite sure you're not a complete klutz." I replied with a warm smile. "Have a good day, and ah...take care of that lump." I pointed to her eyebrow..

"Yeah, you too." she smiled back motioning to my cheekbone which was throbbing already.

"I will." I said, and for some reason, I reached out and placed my hand on her arm just below the crook of her elbow. I didn't know this woman, but she seemed so genuine and polite that I felt at ease with touching her.

The touch only lasted a second or two, and then I turned and went on my way, thinking about how nice it was to meet such a nice, polite young woman in this day and age. Some people would have cussed and called me every name in the book, but she was pleasant and even took part of the blame. I really didn't think much more of the girl after that initial meeting. She was just a cute girl whom I had literally bumped into, nothing more, nothing less.

I shopped for another hour or so, before two things became clear to me. First, I had to take a piss, and second, I was starving. I headed toward the food court where I would have countless food choices to satisfy my hunger, and also there was restrooms so I could take care of that other problem as well.

It was early for the lunch crowd, so the food court was relatively empty as I made my way past the food vendors and through the door into the ladies restroom. I had underestimated how badly I needed to pee, and was relieved to see a woman coming out of a stall just as I walked in. Luckily there was no one else waiting so I hurried in, unlatching my buckle with one hand while locking the door with the other. I was doing the pee dance as I tried to get my shorts down, and I just made it over the seat before the floodgates opened and the deluge began.

It was such a relief to pee that I sighed deeply and glanced at the empty toilet paper roll. Shit! I was still dripping down there with no way to wipe myself dry. Normally, I always carried a few tissues in my purse just in case, but I had run out and hadn't replenished the supply yet. As much as I hated to, I knocked on the wall next to me and said "Excuse me, could I borrow a few squares of TP please?" I slid my fingers just under the wall and wiggled them, hoping there was a nice person there, and she had plenty of paper.

From behind the partition, I heard a pleasant and somewhat familiar voice say "Oh sure. Hold on just a sec." and a few seconds later there was a wad of paper in my hand.

"Thank you so much." I replied, and finished the deed. A moment later, I stepped out of the stall and nearly bumped into the same girl that I had run into earlier. "Oh hello, I thought I recognized the voice." I said, glad to see a familiar face even though I didn't know her.

She smiled again, and I was struck by how much her smile just lit up her whole face. "Hi again." she responded, then asked with a laugh "Are you following me?"

I laughed along with her and we both stepped over to the row of sinks and began to wash our hands. "I was about to ask you the same thing." I teased, then caught a glimpse of the lump over her eye. It had turned a bit purple but it really wasn't too noticeable. "How's your eye?" I questioned with a wince, thinking that it must be sore.

She turned and looked at the damage in the mirror before answering me "Oh, it's a little bit sore still, but I'll be fine. What about you? Your cheek bothering you?" she turned to look at my face, and I saw the same look of concern.

"Well, I may have to put my modeling career on hold for week or two, but I'm sure my manager will find someone to replace me." I joked with a straight face. Her eyes opened wider and her mouth dropped open. She believed me, and for a moment I just looked at her, not believing that she actually believed me. Then I couldn't hold it in anymore and my face broke out into a wide grin.

"Oh shit, you got me." She said laughing. We dried our hands with paper towels and then turned and walked out into the food court still chuckling.

"Well, it was nice running into you again." I said before we parted for the second time, and she giggled again. "Have a nice day." I gave a wave and smile, and walked away heading toward my favorite Chinese eatery. There was three people in line ahead of me, and I smirked when I thought that just a few minutes earlier when I walked by on the way to the restrooms, there was no one here ordering food. Just my luck, I thought, wondering why I hadn't stopped on the way by and placed my order. It would be ready to go now and I could just sit and eat.

A few minutes later I was ordering my favorite meal, the sweet and sour chicken, a salad and soda, and when it was ready, I turned around and found a empty table to sit, my stomach growling loudly and my mouth watering from the smell of the food. I hated to eat alone, but when I shopped by myself, I didn't have much choice. I no more than opened the styrofoam package when someone stepped up beside me and said "Mind if I join you?"

I glanced up and into the eyes of...the same girl I had run into. She was holding a tray with a slice of pizza, a dish of potatoes and a soda. "Ah, sure sure have a seat. I was just thinking about how much I hate eating alone, so this works out well."

"Thanks." She said and took the seat opposite me. "Oh that looks really good." she pointed to my meal, "I thought about Chinese, but I could hear this pizza calling me from across the room."

I smiled and remembered that I still didn't know her name. Since we were eating together, it seemed like we should at least be on a first name basis. I offered my hand to shake and said "Hi, I'm Jessica."

"Sara," she replied, and grasped my hand. "It's nice to meet you Jessica."

I guess I should tell you all what Sara looks like. She's slightly shorter and thinner than me, but she was blessed with larger breasts than I have. I just barely fill out a B cup whereas she was sporting at least a C cup or larger. She was showing off some cleavage, but not anywhere near what some of the younger women show off nowadays. She had strawberry blonde hair, that hung straight down to slightly past her shoulders. Her face was covered with very light freckles, giving her an almost dirty look, but one that I found to be very pleasant. Her eyes were a sparkling greenish blue, her nose long and thin, but perfectly proportioned over her naturally pouty lips.

We began to converse about lots of different topics. I found out that she was only 20 years old and she lived with her aunt. She worked part time at a bar as a waitress, a place that her aunt owned, and she was taking business classes in hopes that one day she would become a partner with her aunt. "I don't want to waitress all my life. My aunt has been working in the same place for 14 years. She started as a waitress, did some bartending, and then she bought the place. She wants me to take over some of the business side and eventually, if all goes well, I'll buy her out so she can retire." She told me, in between chewing on her food.

I told her about my job as a dental hygenist, not a very exciting job to be sure, but it paid the bills.

She was an interesting person and she didn't seem to care that I was older than her by ten years. She talked to me like we were old friends, and I felt comfortable with her. "So," I started, took a quick sip from my straw, and asked "what about a boyfriend?"

"Mmm," she shook her head and swallowed a mouthful of pizza before saying "I ah, I don't date guys." Her eyebrows arched and her lips curled a bit at the corners as she stared into my eyes.

Call me naive, but I didn't catch her drift, even though she couldn't have made herself much clearer. So I foolishly pushed on and said "Really, as pretty as you are, there must be guys lining up around the block to date you. Especially being a waitress in a bar, I'll bet you are popular." I wasn't lying about her being pretty either.

She looked up at me and smiled "You really think I'm pretty?" she asked as if she didn't believe it.

"Are you kidding? You could be a model."

"A huh, I don't think so." She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, and I noticed that she was blushing. She seemed to have a tough time taking a compliment.

"Well I think you could be. Hell, if I were a guy, I'd certainly be interested." I told her. I loved the look on her face as I showered her with compliments. I took another bite of my chicken and waited for her response.

"Oh..." her eyebrows arched and I wondered if I had gone too far with her. "Well, I ah, I don't date guys because...I'm ah... I like girls." She nearly whispered that last part, as if she was embarrassed and didn't want anyone else around us to hear. Her eyes dropped to her food.

I was surprised, but the last thing I wanted to do was to make it into a big deal. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable talking about it. I was kind of surprised that she told me. "Oh," I said with a smile, then, as an afterthought I added "That sound you hear is the sound of young men's hearts breaking all over." I gave her my best sad face, as she looked up and started laughing again.

"So what about you?" She queried "Any man, or woman in your life?"

"Oh yes. Happily married for eight years now." I said, then quickly threw in "To a man."

"Your married?" Sara asked with a look of disbelief. Her eyes looked at my face, then down to my hand holding my fork, and I realized that she noticed that I wasn't wearing a ring. I set the plastic fork down and raised my balled up hand, rocking it back and forth, my lips pursed at the memories of what had happened.

"Yeah, I know, you're wondering why I'm not wearing a wedding ring. Long, painful story actually, but I'll make it short and sweet. Last summer, my husband Derek took me on one of those Caribbean cruises, which was absolutely gorgeous by the way. Anyway, it was my first time on a ship, and unfortunately, for the first three days, I was seasick."

Sara looked up with a look of despair and said "Ohh". She was so cute when she did that, I had to smile.

"So anyway, I didn't leave the room for like 70 hours or something, and I probably spent half that time with my head over the toilet, if you know what I mean. I insisted that Derek go out and have some fun, even though he wanted to stay with me. He was so worried you know. The third day I woke up and actually felt hungry, and not nauseous, so I showered and got dressed and then I woke Derek up to go get breakfast. We went out for breakfast, and while we were sitting there waiting for our food, I realized that my ring was gone."

"Oh no!" Sara whined, with that look again.

"I panicked, I'm like 'Oh my God, where's my ring?' and I just start looking all around the floor. I never realized it, but I had been so sick that I had actually lost about ten pounds, and apparently my finger must have shrunk enough so my ring was loose. We went through our room from one end to the other, tore it apart really. Hell I even had half the crew searching for it. My husband saw how depressed I was, and he offered a $500.00 reward for the person who found it."

"Wow!"

"Yeah, it was a bad scene. We thought it might have went into the toilet, so a couple of the crew members pulled up the toilet in our room, but it wasn't there. So needless to say, it was never found. Derek wanted to buy another one, but I made him promise that he won't buy one on credit. We already have enough bills right now. So he started putting away money, saving up for one."

"Derek sounds like a nice guy."

"He's the greatest." I gushed, and saw what looked like sadness on her face. Maybe I was wrong, but she seemed disappointed that I was happily married.

Just then there was music playing in her purse, and she reached in and pulled out her cell phone. "Sorry" she apologized for the interruption, and I waved it off while she pushed a button and read a text. Then she flipped the phone open and began typing on the tiny keyboard, her thumbs moving so fast they were a blur.

I swallowed another bite of my nearly gone chicken and said "Those are some damn talented thumbs you got there." as she finished her text and clicked her phone shut.

She smiled slyly and said "You have no idea." her eyebrows rising and falling several times, and then burst out laughing again. I laughed along with her, especially when I saw her cheeks turning pink from the sexual innuendo.

Her phone began to ring again and she once again apologized and once again read the message, but this time she said "Oh shit." and her face drooped.

"What's wrong dear?" I asked, then wondered momentarily why I had called her 'dear'. She didn't skip a beat though.

"It's my aunt Debbie. She was going to meet me here in an hour, but something came up so she can't make it. I'll have to take the bus home, and I hate the bus. So many freaking weirdos ride the bus."

"Well, I could give you a ride home Sara." I said without even thinking about it.

"Oh, no I don't want to put you out." She said "I'll be fine, really. Thanks anyway."

"Where do you live?" I asked, not really caring. I wanted her to stick around because I was having so much fun with her and if her aunt picked her up, I would probably never see her again.

"Out by the falls on Hampton Street." She said. A few miles from where I was going, so not too far out of my way.

"Well that settles it then. You'll ride home with me, I insist." I said, grabbing my cup of soda and sipping at the straw with an exaggerated look of defiance. I was determined that she wasn't going to talk me out if it.

"Are you sure Jessica? I don't want you to go out of your way."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hon." there I go again with the terms of endearment. I don't know what I was thinking. "Besides" I continued without pause "I'm having too much fun to send you home now."

laffalot
laffalot
639 Followers