An Angel of Mercy

"Oh yeah! You mentioned earlier about not being alone on Christmas Eve, yet you would have been alone if we hadn't met. What's up with that?"

Gabby replied, "We're kinda spread across the southeast right now. One brother works in Birmingham, another in Nashville. My sister is visiting a sorority sister up in South Carolina. Mom and Dad live near here, but have been traveling. They were supposed to get in today, but their flight got delayed. Won't be seeing them until after lunch tomorrow. Still, we should have everyone together by the day after Christmas."

"Always good," Ken smiled, wishing his own family was a close as Gabby's. Noticing the silver cross still hanging from her neck, he asked, "I guess you're pretty religious, too?"

"Very much so. Born and raised Catholic."

"Yet, you're not at mass?"

"Extenuating circumstances," she replied, a slight grimace on her face.

"Sorry, didn't mean for that to come out harsh. No judgment from me, promise. My mom's always been religious, but it just never spoke to me. I mean, how can a supposedly loving God allow such evil acts in the world He created?"

Gabby looked up, calm confidence in her eyes. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That doesn't mean God causes those bad things to happen. In all things, I believe God works for good. Even in the worst situations imaginable, God manages to cause some amount of good to come from them."

"You really believe that?" Ken asked.

"With every fiber of my being. It's what keeps me going."

"Well, you're the first that's been able to answer me that question in a way that makes sense. No 'it's all in God's plan' or 'you must not love God enough' or any such nonsense. You... you get it."

Lying there in silence for a few minutes, Ken finally found the courage to ask the question he was afraid to know the answer to.

"Will I ever see you again?"

A long pause, then Gabby replied, "No."

"Why? I know I go to school in Massachusetts, but I'd be a fool to give up on an incredible woman like you. Why can't we give it a shot?"

With a sigh, she answered, "Because there's something you don't know about me." Taking his face in her hands and gazing deep into his eyes, she continued, "I'm dying, Ken."

He blinked twice, uncertain if he had heard her right. "Dying?"

"I have... a rare and aggressive form of grade IV brain cancer. The doctors diagnosed me about two months ago. I have less than six months to live. They said they could treat it, but it would only buy me another year at best. Even if it were successful, I'd be so weak from the chemo that I wouldn't be able to do much of anything. So, I opted for a powerful regiment of pain management and resolved to live what time I have left to the fullest. Experience all I can, spread as much joy as I can..."

"This explains everything," Ken realized. "Why you weren't scared of me in the park, even with me holding a knife. Why you didn't hesitate to invite me to your home. Why there was no concern of you getting pregnant..."

"And why we can't be together, as much as I want it. Ken, I meant what I said earlier. If I could spend any amount of time, and especially years with a guy like you, I would be so lucky and blessed. You're a wonderful person, and you're going to make some girl happy beyond belief someday. Whoever she is, wherever she may be... I envy her."

"I just wish it could be you."

"I know, Ken, but you don't deserve that. You don't deserve to fall head-over-heels in love with a girl that you know will be dead in a few short months. In another lifetime, maybe we could have been soul mates. But God seems to have other plans..."

"Gabby, how can you still believe in God through all this? You said that He works all things for good, but what good can come of this?"

She collected her courage, deciding to tell him her darkest secret, one that not even her own family knew. "About a month ago, I was in a really bad spot. I still believed in God, but couldn't believe He would put me through such pain and suffering. I had dreams, hopes, plans... but all for naught. I got low. So low that, one night, I almost did... what you almost did."

"Take the easy way out?"

"Exactly. I nearly went through with it, but at the last moment decided to sleep on it. That night, I had a dream. Someone, I don't know who, was speaking to me. 'Your life still has meaning. You still have a purpose.' That's what they told me. There's no way that was a coincidence. When I woke up, I promised myself I'd find that purpose for my life. Tonight, I may have done just that."

"What do you mean?" Ken asked.

"Ken, if I had killed myself, I wouldn't have only been responsible for my own death. I'd have also been responsible for yours. I wouldn't have been there to talk to you and convince you there was a better way."

"That's one way of looking at it, I guess," Ken mused, pondering her realization.

"There's more, Ken. You're going to be a brain surgeon. I have no doubt about that. If I'm not there tonight, how many lives are lost in the future because Dr. Ken Dix isn't around to save them? How many children have their lives snuffed out from you not being there to ward off the hand of Death? You are going to help so many people in your life, Ken. I can't tell you how happy that makes me."

"And all that is worth the horrible death you're destined for?"

"Absolutely," she replied without hesitation.

Shaking his head, Ken said, "You're a far better human being than I am..."

Kissing him lightly on the cheek, Gabby whispered, "Don't sell yourself short. You had a moment of weakness, but walked back from the brink. Doesn't matter how or why, the fact is you didn't go through with it. Hang on to that."

"So there's one thing that still confuses me."

"What's that?"

"With you being as religious as you are, I still don't get why you aren't at mass tonight? It's Christmas Eve, after all."

"Well... shortly after my diagnosis, I had a falling out with Father Maxwell. He was comforting at first, but soon began trying to convince me to allow him to pray over me for healing. He said that my tumor 'was not unlike that of a demon needing to be exorcised.' That hurt me deeply. If I had let him pray over me for healing, yet was not healed, the logical argument could be made that God refused to listen! Good people get sick and are cut down too soon, but that doesn't mean that they didn't pray hard enough or that they didn't love God enough. After those conversations... I couldn't take anything that man said seriously. I've made my peace with God; that's more than enough for me."

Nodding, Ken replied, "I think you made the right call, and that's not just 'cause I'm a religious cynic. Your reasons make perfect sense."

Gabby smiled and snuggled up in the crook of his arm, pulling the blanket over them in the process. "Thank you, Ken. For everything. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have met you tonight."

Kissing her on the forehead, he whispered, "Merry Christmas, Gabby."

*****

Gabby awoke on Christmas morning feeling surprisingly cold. Turning over, she saw that the other side of the sleeping bag was now empty; Ken had already gone, it seemed. As she rubbed her eyes awake, she found a piece of paper on his pillow with a note written on it.

Gabby,

I'm so sorry for leaving before you woke up, but I think it will be less painful this way for both of us. I'm guessing from your statements last night that you've fallen for me, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crazy for you. As much as I want us to be together, deep down I know you're right. It's just not meant for this lifetime.

I want to thank you for giving this religious cynic the most valuable insights on God that he's ever heard in his life. I have a lot to mull over and some serious questions to ask myself about the man I want to become. Though I never said it out loud, I'm so sorry that I considered killing myself. It was selfish and shortsighted of me. Thanks to you, I realize that now.

Gabrielle Libertine, you are truly one of God's gifts to mankind. For me, you're an Angel of Mercy; descended from on high at just the moment I needed you most. I promise you, from this day on, I will never again consider killing myself. You have my word of honor. In your memory, I am now devoted to finding my purpose in life. I do want to help people. I do want to save lives. I do want to find a special girl to spend my life with. And thanks to you, I still can. Thank you for everything, Gabby. I pray that your life will be full of joy and happiness.

All my love, Kenneth Dix.

P.S. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Tears of joy streamed down her face as she read his message. Gabby had hoped that her efforts might in some small way have an impact on Ken, but to see such immediate effects was more than she could have ever hoped for. To bring about such direct improvements in a young man's life was truly the greatest purpose she could ever imagine in her life. She no longer had any doubt in her mind; this was God's intention all along. Perhaps she had lost the love of her life, but she had also saved the love of her life, giving him a second chance at love in the process.

"Merry Christmas, Ken. God speed," she whispered, kissing her fingers and touching them to the paper.

The sound of a phone ringing from the sofa interrupted her thoughts. Reaching over, Gabby saw that it was her mom.

"Hey Mom! Merry Christmas... Yes, I slept in front of the tree... Oh, your flight's already here? Awesome! Lemmie get dressed, and I'll come get you guys... Love you too. Bye."

*****

Ken pulled up to his mom's house in a taxi around seven that morning. Before he was even halfway up the driveway, Helen was already running out to meet him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"Ken! Thank God you're alright!"

"I'm fine, Mom. No worries."

Taking his hand, she said, "Come on, Uncle Lee wants to talk to you. He's up in your room."

Ken climbed the stairs in relative silence, pondering what sort of conversation awaited him. Arriving at his room, he entered, closing the door behind him. Uncle Lee sat at his desk chair.

"Ken."

"Uncle Lee."

The two eyed each other for several seconds, the tension growing in the room.

"Mom said you want to talk to me," Ken said, sitting on his bed.

"Yeah, I do. Ken... I was a real ass yesterday."

"That's not really fair-"

"No. No, it is. You were right about everything. A real man stands up for his family, lends a hand to someone being ganged up on. Truth is... I was afraid to get involved yesterday. I was afraid if I did... you'd never learn to be self-sufficient. Fact is I was a coward. Plain and simple."

Sitting for a moment, Ken replied, "It's alright, Uncle Lee. We're still family, after all."

"Glad to hear you say that," Lee said, rising to shake his nephew's hand. "Now, as my apology, how 'bout you and I pay a visit to this Jason character? Make sure he knows what's what."

"That's... really kind of you, Uncle Lee, but I'm not interested."

"Not interested?"

"Jason Brown's a fucking dumbass!" Ken said with a laugh. "He's peaked in his life; even he knows that. It's all downhill for him from here on out. Me? I'm going places. Hell, I'm on scholarship at MIT, aiming to go to Harvard Medical in a few years. Why should I care what a stupid jock thinks of me?"

Lee studied his face for a few moments. "There's something different about you, Ken. You've got this look in your eye. 'I don't know where I'll end up, but wherever it is, I'm going to be kicking ass.' That's what it says to me. What's up? What did you do last night?"

Thinking of Gabby, Ken smiled and answered, "Just... took some time alone, found a bit of peace and quiet. That's where I do my best thinking. It let me put things into perspective, figure out what's most important to me."

"Huh. Well whatever you did, I like the results. Still as smart as ever... but somehow more confident."

"Thanks."

"So what was Jason so hot about anyhow?"

"Ah, he had seen me talking to his sister, Jacqueline. She and I had been partners a lot in school, and I stopped to chat when I saw her in the parking lot. He didn't like that."

"Seems like none of his fuckin' business..."

"Yeah, but she's just as mean as he is, deep down. She's just really good at hiding it until the opportune moment... for her, of course," Ken explained.

"She shot ya down in the worst possible way, eh?" Lee realized.

"Yeah," Ken said, recalling his lowest moment from last night. "Her loss, though."

"Damn right, it is! Come on, we got presents to open," Lee said jovially, leading the way down the stairs.

*****

"Come on, Tiffany. It's this way."

"Where are we going, Ken? What's so important that we have to wait until tomorrow to leave for our honeymoon?"

"You'll see. It's just up ahead. Besides, all our patients are in good hands with Dr. Nguyen. We've got all the time in the world."

"Always the hopeless romantic."

Ken clutched the hand of the gorgeous redhead following him, running his finger along the rings on her left hand as they went. The pair remained careful, always watching where they stepped, as several tree roots popped up from the ground along the trail. Finally, they reached their destination.

"Here she is," Ken said.

The couple stood in front of a headstone, simple yet beautiful in its design. Tiffany, still confused, began to read the words carved on it.

"Gabrielle Dorothy Libertine. February 10, 1993 -- April 29, 2017. Loving daughter, sister, and friend. An Angel of Mercy. Ken... who is this?"

"Well... I've told you about the night I almost killed myself. Remember how I said that there's more to the story, but I wasn't ready to tell you yet?"

"Of course."

"She's the rest of the story, Tiff. Ten years ago, to this very day, Gabby arrived at the moment I needed her most... and saved my life. If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't be here today. I'd have done it. She had no skin in the game and was going to die of cancer a few months later, but she felt called to help me nonetheless."

Turning to the headstone, he continued, "Gabby... It's me, Ken. I did it. I did everything you said I would. Became a brain surgeon, save the lives of kids every day... and I met the love of my life. This is Tiffany Sanders, or Tiffany Dix, as of yesterday. We met at Harvard. We practice medicine together, we help people... she's everything I've ever wanted. And because of everything you did for me... I made it. You saved my life, showed me what worth I had, encouraged me to find God's purpose for my life, hell you even took my virginity. Gabby, no words could ever express my gratitude for you. All I can say is... thank you."

Moved to tears, Tiffany collapsed to her knees, touching the letters on the headstone with her fingers. "You... saved my husband's life? You would spend what little time you had left on Earth helping him? My God... miracles do happen, after all. I... I love him, Gabrielle. I love him with all my heart. He completes me. Ken's always had his doubts, but I know there is a God. I know there is a Heaven. And if everything Ken said is true... that's exactly where you are today. Please, watch over us. One day, I plan to thank you in person."

Ken rested a gentle hand on her shoulder, comforting her. Tiffany began to rise to her feet, wrapping her husband in a long embrace. They shared a long, tender kiss, thinking of nothing but each other. At long last, they parted, their eyes locked together.

"You ready to start our life together?" Ken asked.

"Yeah... more than ever."