An Avenging Angel

This is NOT an erotic story. There is nothing erotic about it.

At 25 Michelle was pretty much your average young woman. That bothered her. She was over average height, average build and worst of all, average looks or so she thought. The one part of her body that wasn't average she hated more than anyone could know. Michelle was barely five foot two but she had D cup breasts which looked absolutely huge on her. What also wasn't average was her social life which she considered non-existent. But this would be a good time to explain why she was as she was.

Michelle lost her virginity to her father at a young age. She actually could not remember but what she did remember was he continued to violate her until she was 15 when her mother discovered them in bed early one morning. Michelle's mother had gone after her father with a kitchen carving knife literally. She had chased him out of the house that day and he never returned. She promised him that if he did return she'd be sure he could never have sex with anyone ever again. Knowing she wasn't one to make idle threats he not only never returned but disappeared from the town and the state, as far as they knew, forever.

So for the next 10 years Michelle spent in therapy and on a combination of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills. She went through a breakdown and was hospitalized for several weeks only a month after her father was discovered with her. From then on Michelle had an intrinsic distrust of men in particular but of people in general. Most of her nightmares went away after about 5 years of intensive pysho-analysis and she was able to start college only a year after she graduated from high school. High school had been something of a nightmare for her to finish. Everyone had these expectations of her such as attending dances and other social events. But Michelle quickly figured out that by wearing very baggy clothes she was able to keep the boys from asking her out on dates which would of course been met with a no. On those days that baggy clothes were simply not appropriate she hated every boy who even looked in her direction and if the looked at her breasts, which they did frequently and some leered, she felt a rage grow inside her with the desire to hurt them. Fortunately she took these feelings to therapy.

Michelle found college to be something of an escape. She had insisted on going to an all girl's school. Though her grades were really not good enough to get her into Wellesley college, a few favors were called and she was admitted. Her admission was conditional upon her gaining a minimum of a 3.0 average her first year. Michelle threw herself into her studies and pulled a 4.0. She used her conditional acceptance as reason to isolate and obsess about her studies. But three years later she graduated summa cum laude having never gotten any thing less than a perfect 4.0. Her chosen field was far from easy, math.

For her efforts Michelle received a fellowship at M.I.T. to study quantum physics in a PhD program she'd been accepted to. Once again she threw herself into her studies and once again she was holding a 4.0 average. She had just finished her 2nd year of studies and what going into her 3rd year, her thesis year. M.I.T. has never been known as a party school and probably never will. This suited Michelle just fine. She felt like she fit in there because no one questioned her isolating so much from other students. But she did have to do so t.a. work which meant interaction with other student and most of them were men. This didn't please her but they were undergrads and she found that by dressing extremely conservatively and acting either a bit angry or annoyed seemed to keep them at more than arm's length which was still too close for her.

Michelle had made a friend who was working on a degree in applied and theoretical math at M.I.T. Her name was Nancy and she was the first person outside her mother or therapist that she gave insight into her life but even so it was a very limited insight. Nancy was aware Michelle had been a victim of incest and that she'd done a ton of therapy but not much more. Actually she really didn't feel comfortable knowing any more as her own past, though there was no incest in it, still had a few unresolved issues involving boys/men.

Nancy had been able to get Michelle to go out with her to some of the clubs in Harvard Square always promising not to leave with someone else. Michelle had become comfortable in this particular social situation, a first for her. But it was enough for her too.

One Friday evening the two went to their favorite watering hole at their usual time, 8:30. The bar was full of college kids whooping it up and having a good time. Michelle liked this particular bar because most of the people who went there were too self-absorbed, she thought, to even notice her. That was until this night. Michelle and Nancy were sitting at a table having a beer when two really good looking young men approached them and asking if they too could sit at the table as there were no open seats anywhere else in the bar. Nancy thought they were just coming on to them but a quickly look around the bar did give the impression of there being no open seats so she agreed.

Michelle elbowed Nancy and gave her "The look."

"It's all right, don't worry, nothing's going to happen. We can leave any time you like." Nancy said in response. Michelle gave Nancy a pained look but agreed. The two guys sat down and introduced themselves as Vince and Bob. Both were third year students at the Harvard B school. After a little while Michelle decided they weren't so bad as they did add to the conversation and were both witty. Michelle was more than a little uncomfortable at how close Bob was sitting near her but she realized to say anything would be just rude since he had pushed close to her but had just sat down where the chair was. Michelle accepted that there were nice men in the world but she'd always say she just hadn't met any. Now Bob was being a perfect gentleman, he listened intently when she talked, he didn't talked about himself very much, he was polite but he did do one thing wrong, he took a long look at her breasts. That still bothered Michelle a lot but at this point in her life she'd decided that was really her problem and not others.

Bob and Vince insisted on buying the drinking and on Michelle's very limited budget that suited her just fine. Usually Nancy would insist on paying for their night out as she came from a very wealthy family in Scarsdale, NY.

As the night wore on, well past the time the two women would usually have departed, they were all becoming tipsy. Michelle had walls as high as anyone and was always on her guard against even the slightest incursion that she could not tolerate. Those things seemed a little fuzzy to her now and she decided she must be drunk. She'd never been drunk before and she'd secretly wanted to get drunk for a long time but she was afraid Nancy would think her a lush if she did. Michelle was very sensitive to what people thought. But she could see Nancy was already drunk and practically falling over Vince. She hadn't realized her best friend has this in her thinking they were both pretty much alike in every way but now she could see that wasn't true. Strangely in that moment she wished she could be Nancy. She wished she could be free of her fears for just once and do what everyone else did and be like everyone else. Then something strange happened. A part of her mind suddenly said, so do it, and she thought to herself, why not!

The problem was she had absolutely no idea what she could or should do to be more like Nancy was right then. But the solution came quickly as Bob covered her hand with his and said to her, "has anyone ever told you what beautiful eyes you have?"

Michelle shook her head no and asked, "Do I?" Michelle wouldn't know a come on if she fell over one and she'd just fallen over one.

Bob was slow with his moves. He switched all his attention to Michelle and Michelle felt it and was flattered by it. Bob was making her feel special and she had never felt special. She thought to herself, so this is what it's like. She liked it, a lot!

Finally Bob said to her, "Listen, it's awfully noisy in here. Wanna go somewhere it's a little more quiet so we can talk in peace?"

Her guard totally down Michelle acceded. Since Nancy was obviously "with" Vince Michelle thought it all right to tell her they were leaving. For her part Nancy not only didn't object but seemed delighted at the turn of events. She even gave Michelle a wink which Michelle had no clue as to its meaning. She'd just ask her the next day what she meant.

When they got out on the sidewalk Bob said, "Listen, my apartment's just two blocks from here. I've got some really nice wine I've been wanting to share with someone, sooooooo. . . ."

Michelle also wasn't skilled in the innuendos of dating so she asked, "What?"

"Do you want to go to my place and have some of that wine?"

This made her pause but in her inebriated state it was almost too easy, "Sure, why not!" She replied.

His apartment was indeed just two blocks away on the 2nd floor of a brownstone apartment house. He bade her sit on his sofa while he got they wine. He returned with two glasses and the bottle and poured for the two of them then sat down. Bob continued with the small talk but not before he emphasized how she had to get a good mouthful of this wine to really appreciate it. Michelle found she really liked the wine and it wasn't long before she asked for some more. She was afraid she was getting just a little more drunk than she should but she was finally having some fun for the first time in her life and she didn't want it to end.

Bob had moved close to Michelle and Michelle being quiet inebriated didn't object in the least nor did she complain when Bob put his arm around her shoulders and pull her into him. Michelle found herself enjoying the closeness.

Then Bob kissed her cheek. Michelle didn't know quite what to make of it but when he gently pulled her face around so he could kiss her on her lips she acquiesced. She did have a brief flash back but it quickly blurred and Michelle could only feel the gentle touch of Bob's lips on hers and the nice feeling it was giving her. She thought maybe, finally, she could have a normal relationship. Her mind even in its drunken state raced between what was happening and what she should do. But she found that just following his lead seemed to be working quite well so she decided she'd do whatever he did.

They kissed for a while, nothing more, but then Bob put a hand on her breast and Michelle jerked away so strongly that Bob said, "I'm sorry. Did I go too far?"

Michelle's head was spinning. How was she supposed to answer that question. One side of her wanted to yell, "yes you bastard, of course you went too far!" And yet another, and at the moment stronger, side of her simple said, "No." Then she realized she had actually mouthed the word and it was just a thought in her head.

Bob leaned back in and began kissing her again. Michelle really like this. But then once again his hand found her breast and even though like before she felt the impulse to jerk away she restrained herself and didn't. Then he moved his hand on her breast and she could feel the arousal of his touch and it felt good. But there was this strange other feeling in her, a feeling of betrayal. It confused her so she ignored it.

Michelle was able to become comfortable with Bob feeling her breast even when he pushed his hand inside the top of her dress and onto her naked breast. She rationalized that this was nothing more than what normal people did on a date. But then she asked herself, so is this a date? She didn't know.

Bob put his hand on Michelle knee just under the summer dress she was wearing. He unexpectedly quickly moved his hand up to her panties and pushed a finger through the fabric at her vagina.

Every alarm she had ever had went off in her head and Michelle bolted upright and slapped Bob across the face with all her strength. What happened next Michelle could not have imagined.

Bob jumped up too and with the back of his hand he whacked Michelle across her face so hard she fell onto the sofa. She could feel the stinging pain of where he had hit her and then he yelled, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Michelle attempted to get up off the sofa and said, "I'm leaving is what I'm doing!"

Again he cuffed her with his hand even harder this time, so hard it brought tears to her eyes. Michelle could feel her heart throbbing hard, racing and her mind yelling at her to get out of there as fast as she could.

"The fuck you are!" He retorted. "Whaddayou think, you can come in her and play all cutesy like, like you're gonna put out and then not do it!"

"I never said any such thing!" Michelle replied with all her strength.

"You're nothing but a cock tease aren't you!" Before Michelle could say anything he continued, "I'll show you what I do to cock teases you bitch!"

What Michelle saw in her eyes was something she'd never seen in anyone's eyes save her mother's when she chased her father out of the house that day long ago. She saw a rage that she knew was too powerful. As he took a step towards her Michelle flung her foot upwards to catch him in his groin but her aim was off and instead she caught him in his thigh. She had hurt him but she hadn't slowed him and in fact had only enraged him that much more.

Bob took her by her hair and literally dragged her into his bedroom. He threw her on his bed and then quite literally ripped her dress and underclothes off her. There was violence in his voice when he said, "You say one goddam word and I swear to God I'll cut you fuckin' tits off."

This scared her even more particularly since she thought he just might do it and more. He ripped his clothes off though not literally. He grabbed his penis which was hard and said, "this is what all you bitches want! This is what you need! You all need a good fucking and I'm just the one to do it!" He walked to the side of the bed and unprovoked slapped Michelle as hard as he could across the face once again. This time he split her lip and she could taste the blood in her mouth. She considered fighting back but he was at least twice her size and strength and she was truly afraid he'd kill her if she did. It was then Michelle did something she'd long forgotten about. In her mind, she moved herself away from the violence that was being visited upon her and the rape that had yet to happen. In her safe place she saw her old friend May. As she looked at May she was surprised to see May was still 10 years old. But she didn't care. Her play friend was back.

When Michelle opened her eyes the room was dark and she could hear Bob snoring next to her. Then she felt pain and soreness coming from both her vagina and rectum. She could only think about it for a second when she felt the need to flee to the bathroom which she did. She emptied her stomach into the toilet twice, flushed it and then sat on it. She could feel herself shivering and then she began to cry. Better not, she thought. It might wake him and then what. Michelle just sat on the toilet whimpering, shaking. She was feeling sick to her stomach again but it was different from the first time. This was from the return of her memory of what had happened to her or what she thought had happened to her.

As long as she could hear him snoring she felt safe and he snored rather loudly. It took her a good 15 to 20 minutes to get her wits about her. Her clothes were in shreds on the floor and she had to get something to put on. As much as it galled her she looked at his bathrobe hanging there, took it and put it on.

Michelle had taken one step from the bathroom when his snoring stopped and he stirred. Desperate she quickly ducked into the kitchen. Then she heard him, "Michelle?"

Oh fuck, he's looking for me, she thought. I've got to do something. In the partial like from the window she saw a carving knife sitting on the counter and took it.

"Michelle, where are you?" She could hear him getting up from the bed and bumping into something.

She was terrified. She had no idea of what to do and as she looked at the knife in her hand she was unsure if she could even use it like she wanted to. She kept asking herself, what do I do, what do I do. But that was answered quickly as the kitchen light suddenly went on and the was Bob standing in the entranceway, naked, hard, and grinning. Then he said it, "Want some more baby? I know how much you liked it the first time."

Michelle felt more rage than she thought possible rise up in her but then just as suddenly there was May in front of her. What was she doing here? "May, what are you doing here? You can't be here, he's going to hurt you."

"No he's not," May replied, "someone's taking care of that right now."

"Who?"

"Don't you remember the strong one, Alex. She used to take us kids to our safe place."

Michelle hadn't remember Alex but now she did and she relaxed. Then suddenly Michelle was jerk back to where she was but where was she? She knew she wasn't in the apartment any more. She looked down her front and saw her naked skin was covered with blood. She wondered where it'd come from.

"Welcome back," a gentle female voice said.

Michelle look toward the voice and saw a smartly dressed woman standing over her. "Where am I?" She asked.

"You're in the emergency room at Mt. Auburn Hospital and I'm Doctor Sacchetti. Can you tell me your name?"

Michelle thought for a moment and then told her.

"Good, do you remember what happened to you?" But this wasn't the same voice asking a question. It was another voice on the other side of her. Michelle turned her head that way and saw the face of a policewoman. Then some of it came streaming back and Michelle suddenly kicked her feet so she was pressed back up against the back of the gurney she was on. She looked around her terrified. Michelle shook violently and then desperately wanted to retreat to her safe place but could not.

Then the doctor said, "We need to do an examination of you if that's all right."

Michelle's head exploded with the word "no!" but her head nodded in agreement. The second she felt the doctor's fingers touch her near her vagina she found herself back with May.

From the bruises on her body and the results of the rape kit the police were able to charge Mr. Robert Canton with aggravated rape and assault. Michelle, however, had retreated to a place that took months of intensive therapy to move her away from, her safe place. What she had done was totally dissociated. But even after they got her out of her dissociative state Michelle had no memory of any portion of the rape and even more, no memory of having ever gone to college. As far as she was concerned she was eight years old and no one was going to say differently.

Without Michelle in the court room the case again Mr. Canton was dropped. It took two years but Michelle did get most of her memory back, everything save the rape which has remained totally blocked. Though she's read the reports she says earnestly that nothing like that ever happened to her so someone was making a giant mistake. Her friend Nancy proved to be a better friend than she could have hoped. Nancy visited her in the various hospitals and played an important part in her recovery. Part of that recovery is found in Nancy's joining A.A. and getting Michelle to come along. Michelle, for Nancy's sake she'd say, would call herself an alcoholic and impart only the fact that after drinking too much and becoming drunk she'd gone off with a man who had raped her. She always found it strange that the words never sounded like a lie to her even though she had no such memory.