An Earth Day Voice

"Wait here, I'll be right back." He told her. Amanda felt like running when he left the car, but she stayed, squirming in her seat, feeling the moisture drench her panties. A strange feeling of unreality came over her. This had to be a dream, it couldn't be happening. She hadn't done this had she?

Mark was back in minutes, minutes that seemed like hours. He opened her door and reached out a hand for her. She took it and let him lead her. They climbed the stairs, her body moved but her mind seemed to be somewhere else watching, not really a part of what they were doing.

She stood behind him as he swiped the card through the door lock. Her disbelieving eyes watched the door open, watched him find the light switch. She stepped inside after him and turned to watch the door close. The sound of the latching door like explosion of finality, a quiet life changing. Click, the quiet sound louder than an explosion. For a second she looked at the door as panic came over her, then she fought it down and turned to face Mark.

The look on his face, showed the same fear and panic that she felt. She drew some comfort in knowing that this big strong man was just as scared as she. She took a deep breath, fighting down the nervousness. What did she, they, do now? She saw the same bewildered look on his face.

They stood looking at each other. Neither sure what to do, how to start things. She didn't want to rush to him. She watched for several minutes and then she just started to unbutton her blouse.

He stood transfixed, watching her for a moment, as her blouse opened further and further exposing her plain white bra. Then he joined her, and it became almost a race to see who could get their clothes off first. They watched each other.

Amanda took a deep breath and then folded her clothes and put them on one of the chairs. He followed suit. Then they stood there naked, looking at each other. He at her breasts, her flat belly, the soft tangle of her pubic hair, the luscious shape of her long legs. She at his muscles, defined but not bulging and at the cock she suddenly wanted. They stood there, looking at each other, neither sure what to do next.

She walked to the bed, feeling his eyes follow her every move. She pulled back the covers and laid down. He was quick to follow. She felt the weight of him sink into the bed and she rolled with the gravity until she was facing him.

His arms went around her and she felt the warmth of him. Her eyes looked into his for a moment and then their lips met in a tender kiss. Her skin almost burned where his hands touched her back and he pulled her gently closer.

Their kiss became more intense. It went quickly from tender to near violent. That first time, they did not share passion but rather mutual pain and grief and guilt. Neither needed much foreplay. She was dripping wet, he hard as a rock. They kissed for only a few moments, and then Mark took her. He took her in a flood of emotion. A cave man taking a woman in rage. She matched him, pouring out her feelings. It was a sharing of anger and loneliness, a release of long denied humanity. They both burst in a blast of escape, a gushing of intense relief.

In minutes, he had rolled off of her and rested his head on an elbow as he looked at her. They were both gasping for air, trying to recover from such an intense merger. Mark was surprised at himself. He had always been a caring, gentle lover.

It took them longer to recover than the act had itself.

"God you're beautiful." He whispered. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes looked into his. She put a finger on his lips. "shushhhhh... It was just what I needed. There is nothing to be sorry for."

He kissed her, gently this time. His hand roamed over her body, lightly caressing her skin. His kiss soft as their tongues danced in their mouths. Amanda closed her eyes and drank him in. She smelled his musk, tasted his mouth, felt his course skin against hers. Her hand wrapped around him, exploring the newness of him. She tried not to think of Jerry, tried not to compare them. The second time was long and slow and delicious. They took more than an hour to bring themselves to a slow burn. This time he loved her slowly, tenderly until they both exploded in wonder.

She snuggled herself close to him, feeling his heat, basking in her own after sex glow. She felt his arm wrapped around her. Her mouth broke into a slight contented smile as she laid her head on his chest.

Amanda moved away and looked at his peaceful face. He rolled to face her and smiled. She liked his smile. There was a peace over her, more than just the physical exhaustion she felt.

For a fleeting moment, she thought of Jerry and a tear welled in the corners of her eyes and began to flow down her face. Mark reached a finger out and brushed one away.

"This isn't about him. He's gone. It isn't about us. It's about you and it's about me. Are you O.K.? " He asked her.

The tears continued to roll but there was a smile on her face. "I'm fine. Really! I haven't been this fine in years. Thank you Mark. I needed that. Needed it more than I even knew."

"No. Thank you. I needed that more than I knew." He laughed softly and she giggled in return, the first hint of laughter she had let loose in three years. His eyes clouded. "Are you really O.K.?"

"Yes, Mark. I'm wonderful." The tears had dried and her slight smile was genuine. She saw the question in his eyes. "No, Mark. I don't feel all clingy. You don't have to take me out for dinner. It wasn't a first date. I haven't changed. I don't want a new husband. Everything is just fine."

She meant every word when she said it but she was partially lying to herself. Everything had changed, perhaps not toward him but in her. She had let loose some of her grief, her guilt. The pain had not left her, probably never would but she had left her guilt and most of her grief in that puddle on the mattress. She looked in his eyes and saw that he had done the same.

"And now?" he asked.

"What about now?"

"Do we just pretend this never happened? Do we do it again?" He asked her.

"I don't know what we do now." She told him. "We both needed this. We'll probably both need it again, sometime." She felt it in herself even as she said that. She'd want it again, often, but she wouldn't admit it to him or to herself. "We aren't going together. Nothing has changed. Except that now, if you want, call me anytime for a nice roll in the sheets." She giggled. "Well, I hope it was nice for you. It sure was for me."

He laughed and she sensed that he hadn't laughed like that in a very long time either. "Nice is an understatement. Damn, Amanda, you were wonderful beyond words!"

She pulled him to her and kissed him on his nose. "Mmmmmm you were beyond wonderful, stud." She giggled.

Neither wanted to make excuses, neither really wanted the night to end and yet they both wanted to flee. They wanted to put some space between them and the recent events. They wanted time to sort out their feelings. They both dressed and went their separate ways.

It was late for a sanitary board meeting, but not that late. The clock showed only 10:30 when she pulled into the drive. Alan was waiting up for her, or was he? It was still early for a college boy. She felt like she was hiding something from him. She chuckled inside. She felt like she had when she was 17 and sneaking home after a date with Jerry. The only difference was she was now sneaking past her near adult son instead of her father. She made her excuses quickly and dashed to bed. She suppressed a tinge of guilt she felt in front of her son.

Sleep had come quickly, and she slept deeply for the first time in a very long time. She missed a warm body beside her, but for the first time, she still felt the touch of a man. She was satisfied and tingly inside. The pain of Jerry, somewhat slackened.

In the morning she knew that Alan had seen the smile that was stuck to her face. She flushed and pretended it never happened but she knew he suspected something.

Pam had seen that smile too. She came up to her with a twisted smile. "Did you and Mark?"

That cat that ate the canary smile was still on Amanda's face. "We went out for a drink and told each other that we weren't ready to see anyone. That answer your question?"

Pam looked at her. She saw the smile and she guessed that Amanda was lying. "Are you sure that's what happened?"

"Gospel truth. We told each other we weren't ready to date." Amanda was giggling inside. She was telling her friend the absolute truth, just not all of it.

Amanda's full smile lasted for four complete days. Then it faded into a half smile for several more. After a week, the warm thoughts faded somewhat and she started hoping for a fresh dose of sexual healing.

She had seen Mark most days, but while he had smiled and winked at her, he hadn't made a point of talking to her. Every evening, when the phone rang, a thrill went through her spine until she knew that it wasn't Mark.

Everything changed for Amanda after that night. It wasn't the sex that changed it. It was that releasing herself from the guilt of Jerry's death, had freed her to feel again. Colors began to creep into her life. She felt things and saw things that she had not before.

The sex had been wonderful, and suddenly a part of her that had been dormant was reawakened. She was aware of her body's needs for the first time in a very long time. She felt desire again, something that she had been suppressing.

The biggest change though was at home. She had been aware of Alan, but so consumed by her own grief that she had only noticed Alan when he needed her. Now she was awake and aware again.

She had thought that Alan had no social life. Suddenly she was very aware that he did. She had not noticed that he spent at least an hour on the phone every night, but now that she was waiting for, hoping for, Mark to call, she realized that he was on that damn phone.

She realized that he had little money to date, but he was seeing someone. Suddenly she understood that she had not even noticed Alan's life. She tried hard to suppress the annoyance she felt for him tying up the phone. She also tried to get back into her son's life.

Alan was both pleased and annoyed at her. It was a joy to see her smile again and every once in a while she even laughed. She was beginning to act like the mother he remembered. The problem was, suddenly she was his mother, and mothers did not need to know about his sex life.

Amanda was beginning to think that Mark would never call. It had only been a week since she had seen him but it was beginning to feel like it would be forever. She came back from lunch to find a note that he needed her to call him about a contract that was coming up with the city.

Pam gave her a strange look. "I tried to call, but Suzy said he was determined that you would be the only one who could help." Pam smiled. "Something up between you two?"

"Yeah. We're gonna get together and fuck like bunnies while we discuss the Earth Day plans for the recycling department, well that or the change order for the Wilson sewer expansion."

"O.K..... O.K, so nothing is up."

Amanda dialed the office number. Suzy put her through right away. Pam, however, made a point of staying within ear shot of Amanda's side of the conversation.

"This is Mark." He said.

"Amanda. What do you need?"

"I need a good no strings attached fuck."

"Me too," She told him. Pam was watching her and she tried, unsuccessfully, not to blush.

"I'm glad to hear that. My daughter has a class tonight at seven. I was hoping you could come over."

Amanda knew that Pam was hanging on every word. "I am sure I can help with that. Just a second while I look it up." She thumbed aimlessly through the pages of the work order, then stopped and put her finger on a paragraph. "Yes, seven it is. Is that what you needed."

She heard him chuckling on the other end of the phone. "Do you know where I live?"

"I'm sorry, Mark, I can't seem to find that information in the work order."

"12217 West Fifth Street."

Amanda picked up a post it note. She was sure she would remember West Fifth Street. She wrote "$12,217" on the note. "Let me make sure I got this right. The change, it's twelve thousand 217 right? That's one two two one seven."

"Yep, that's the right numbers. This time wear something sexy." He chuckled. "There are advantages to having a private office."

"There certainly are. I'll be sure to make that change for you."

"I can hardly wait to see you."

"I'll be sure to handle the work order changes for you. Thanks Mark."

She hung up the phone as she watched Pam's face go from expectation to disappointment. Amanda was laughing inside. Pam would be so delightfully surprised if she knew what they had really been discussing.

The afternoon seemed to crawl by. She got more and more aroused as she thought about tonight.

Amanda ordered a pizza and picked it up on the way home. Alan didn't even question her about it. He didn't even notice that she went to her bathroom and primped for an hour after dinner. She looked in the mirror as she got out of her shower. She twisted and turned and admired, mostly anyway. There was just a little too much fat around her bellybutton and she didn't think her hip was shaped quite perfectly, but overall, not bad for an old lady. It hadn't been that easy to find that lacy red bra and matching panties that she had stuck in the back of the drawer three years ago.

She didn't even feel any guilt as she went by Alan and told him she had a special meeting that night. Leave it to a man (or almost man) to not notice a lady dressed up to impress a man.

Amanda was excited as she drove to Mark's house. She wasn't nervous, she wasn't frightened, just aroused.

She knew all about Mark now. He had been a very successful personal injury lawyer. And then two years ago, his wife, his 22 year old daughter, and his 14 year old son had gone shopping. Mark was working late like usual, and his 18 year old daughter was at a high school event. As they crossed the highway, the third car to cross under a green light, a truck had slammed into the car. His wife and his son had been killed instantly. His daughter had lingered for five days in a coma before she died.

The driver apparently asleep at the wheel had not even slowed down for the red light. The accident was captured in a series of still pictures on a "red light" camera at the intersection.

Mark had finished with the cases he had and made a killing with those. The life insurance had been substantial. What had really racked in the money though was the way he went after the trucking company. When he was through with them, he had every penny of their insurance and then forced them into bankruptcy as he collected most of their net worth as well. When he was done with them, he went after the car manufacturer for failure of the side impact air bags to save them. He had settled that out of court for a significant amount of money.

The fight had gone out of him then. He had sold his partnership in the law firm for a very pretty penny, and become the city attorney. He wasn't ready to quit work, although he could have, but he had no more stomach for revenge. He immersed himself in the mundane.

Amanda didn't know what happened to his surviving daughter, but rightly assumed that she was going to State and taking care of her father.

The house was huge and beautiful. She hadn't needed to ring the doorbell. He had been waiting for her. She hadn't come for a tour of the house. She hadn't come for a discussion of the humanities. She wasn't disappointed when he led her directly up the stairs to his bedroom.

There were five bedrooms upstairs arranged along a long hallway. Both end bedrooms had private baths with one more in the middle of the hallway. Mark had one end bedroom, his daughter the other.

The first time she had heard a door close behind this man, it had been a jolt of fear. This time it was the sound of promise. She came to his arms. He held her to him and she lifted her face to meet his kiss. Their tongues met and danced to music that the two of them heard.

He lovingly removed her clothing, kissing each inch of skin he exposed until she was standing naked before him. She sighed and then reached down and grasped his head and pulled him upward until her lips could meet his, then she undressed him, she savored the taste of every bit of his skin.

She sucked his manhood into her mouth and ran her tongue around it and then slid her lips up and down his shaft. She smiled around him as his head rolled to one side and his eyes closed. The sound of his groan of pleasure intoxicated her.

Mark broke away from her and led her to his bed. He pulled back the covers and pushed her gently down on it as his eyes feasted on her for a second before his lips followed. He kissed her deeply and then his lips moved down her body, kissing, sucking, licking, lingering when she sucked in her breath. Until he draped her legs over his shoulders as his tongue swirled over and around her clit.

Her hands tangled in his hair as she directed him to the spots that pleasured her most. Her hips rolled, pushing her pussy against his eager face. He sucked her clit into his mouth and licked the tip. She felt the fire in her belly, spreading over her. The world dissolved as her eyes closed and she gave in to the pleasure she was giving him.

Her first orgasm was a small tingle, the second came almost as soon as the first ended and then they kept coming in waves, until the pleasure crashed over her. Her head thrashed from side to side as she groaned in pleasure and her hips rolled and bucked into his face. He didn't stop until her body was still, then he disengaged himself from her legs and moved beside her, holding her close and softly caressing her body.

Amanda looked into his happy shiny face and grimaced before she kissed him softly. She had never really liked her own smell, her own taste but she kissed him anyway. The feel of his stiff cock a message of his need. She rolled him onto his back and crawled over him.

Her eyes watched his face as she slowly impaled herself on his hardness. She felt him fill her as she slowly slid down on him. A hint of a smile gracing the corners of her mouth. She braced her hands against his shoulders as she rocked on him. One of his hands reached up to cup her breast as the other tried in vain to find her clit. Her eyes locked on his.

This had started as something she was doing for him, but slowly it became something for her as well. She felt her desire building once more as she rocked harder, faster. She felt him stiffen, suck in his breath and then fill her with his warm blasts, which triggered her own explosion. She felt him come back to reality as she was still in the throws of her passion. She felt his eyes watching her face and then the crashing blast was through in her and she sagged onto his chest.

She felt his chest heave as he struggled to regain his breath with her laying on him. She was warmed by his arms wrapped around her. He kissed her ear and it tickled. She laughed a happy giggle and sighed contentedly as he held her. She felt him shrinking, slowly slipping from her.

"Damn, you're good." He whispered in her ear and she felt a flush of warmth flow through her.

She pushed herself up on her hands so she could smile into his face. "Mmmmm Not as good as you are. You have done something to me."

"Yeah, made you all sticky."

She laughed. "Maybe, but I love it."

She rolled off him and he rolled to face her. She felt his eyes wander over her and then he kissed her softly. "You are so beautiful." He told her when they broke the kiss. His words warmed her.

"You're pretty good looking yourself."

"What are you feeling now?"