An Eventful Canada Day

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Black American experiences cultural relativity.
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Samuelx
Samuelx
2,120 Followers

Cultural relativity is a difficult concept for most people to understand. Men consider women to be strange. Well, women consider themselves normal and see men as the strange ones. Men everywhere laugh when hearing this because they see themselves as truly uncomplicated. The same goes for people of different religious, races and ethnicities. To the Westerner, the Arab person is rather unusual. Well, to the Arab person, the Westerner's ways are truly strange as well. People should try to find common ground, appreciate each other's differences and see if they can get along. This planet is big, beautiful and it's enough for all of us. That was my thinking when I took my Haitian-American self to the Canada Day Parade in Ottawa.

After enduring the drunken nightmare of Canada Day, I now dislike Canadians more than ever. Why? The amazing amount of anti-American bigotry spewed forth by Canadians of all colors amazed me. This kind of fierce anti-American rhetoric is something I would expect from a Russian veteran from the Cold War days, or a radical Islamist. Not one of our supposed allies and neighbours, the Canadians. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Canadians dislike everyone who isn't Canadian, and they dislike us Americans for our strength, diversity, power, resilience, size, beauty, individualism, cockiness and national sense of pride.

You see, Canadians as a whole are small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And they know it. When was the last time Canada played a key role in world affairs? Winning the Vancouver Olympics in men's and women's Hockey doesn't bloody count. Hockey is a sport, not a global political or social event. Don't tell that to a Canadian, though. They might spontaneously combust upon hearing it. Canadians are the fakest, most bigoted and most racist people on the planet. They're really good at hiding it until you get to know them. My name is Steve Lamour. An American citizen of Haitian descent attending a Canadian University in the city of Ottawa, Ontario. And I approve this message.

Canadians will never amount to anything. They will always be the wayward brats of the now defunct and nonexistent British Empire, the eager worshipers of the old Queen and they're blissfully unaware of the low opinion that Londoners have of them. Canada never had the guts to stand up to the British and truly become independent like America has. Canadians are loyal to the Crown of England, which sees all Canadians as little m more than vassals. That's why the Queen of England gets to dictate Canadian policies and appoint rulers instead of being just a figurehead. Canadians aren't bold enough to choose their own path as a nation. They must rely on England to do their thinking for them.

Canadians are also quite dumb and bigoted, yet consider themselves the world's experts of global matters and on human rights issues. You'll see rednecks from Texas hanging out with African-Americans and Asians that they've come to know and befriend. You'll never see a Canadian befriend anyone who doesn't look exactly like them. Even while they preach about multiculturalism, these bigots dislike people of color. Oh, and they also dislike Americans of all colors. You see, America encourages traits such as individuality, resilience, entrepreneurship and ruthlessness. Canada encourages laziness, group-thinking, meekness and planetary sloth. That's why they will never rise as far as the United States of America. They can't even dream of being shot callers in world affairs. Even if Canada was somehow handed the leadership of the world, they wouldn't know what to do. Rather than to strut their stuff and use their newly acquired power, they would call upon Good Old England to make the hard decisions for them while they sit in the background.

Want to know what scares a Canadian the most? Other than losing a Hockey Game to another country or running out of blasted maple syrup? Canadians fear highly educated and successful people who aren't white. Let me clarify things for you. The average Canadian is the laziest bum on the planet. They live in a country that gives free money to unemployed losers ( who aren't looking for work at all ) for extended periods of time. Canada gives free health insurance to anyone born within the Confederation but denies it to others unless you're a hard-working foreigner with a steady job while living in Canada. Foreigners living in Canada must work in order to have a health card. Unemployed Canadians get a free health card. That's why Canadian society never progresses. It punishes the strong and supports the weak. Call it reverse Darwinism. What a load of crock!

If you're not white and you live in the Confederation of Canada, they label you by the offensive term "visible minority". What the fuck is a visible minority? Anyone who isn't white. That covers Africans, Asians, Arabs, Hispanics and Aboriginals. The funny thing is that Canadians will soon be outnumbered by the descendants of those they call visible minorities. Simply put, white guys and white chicks in Canada have an extremely low reproduction rate. By contrast, everyone who isn't white is multiplying left and right. The Africans, the Arabs, the Asians, the Hispanics and the Aboriginals. In the two biggest cities of Canada, Toronto and Vancouver, white people are outnumbered by those they label visible minorities.

Minority being a subjective term around these parts. There are about six hundred million people of European descent on the planet Earth. Stack that against one billion Chinese, one billion Indians, close to one billion Africans, more than three hundred million Arabs and a quarter of a billion Latin Americans. Not to mention close to a total of one hundred million people of African, Hispanic and Native American descent spread over the Caribbean islands. And let's not forget places like Indonesia and Malaysia. Who are you calling a minority, whitey? That's what this inquiring mind wants to know. I recently read something about Asia producing more millionaires than Europe for the first time in ages. I also read that the economies of emerging nations like South Africa, Asia, Brazil and parts of the Arab world are making them the new Super Powers. Planet Earth is ruled by the Great Twenty, the top nations on the planet. And most of them aren't White. No longer will planet Earth be ruled by pale, bigoted and elitist minorities. People of color have come a long way.

Sometimes, I wonder what the world would be like without Canadians. Hmm. It's quite a lovely thought. Planet Earth would be just like paradise. No more Hockey-obsessed, deeply bigoted, Maple syrup-chugging and smugly elitist ( with nothing concrete to back it up) losers. I feel much empathy for the Arabs, Africans, Asians, Hispanics and Aboriginals living in the Confederation of Canada. People of color in Canada shouldn't feel attached to this place. They should use it as a stepping stone. Here is the plan, so please pay heed. If you're not white and you live in Canada, you should get a degree from a University, and then save some money and move to America. In America, if you're a legal immigrant with a University degree from Canada, you'll be just fine. It's a testament to America's greatness as a nation that they welcome legal immigrants who are highly skilled and educated. They contribute to America's economic well-being and demographic power.

People of color, use Canada as a stepping stone. Come to America, but only after earning your University degrees. If you're in your twenties, thirties or even younger, that's also a plus. We welcome people who are educated, youthful and energetic. We also welcome those with maturity and wisdom. America is a true democracy. Canada isn't a democracy. The Prime Ministers of Canada are all eager and absolutely loyal lapdogs of the Royals in England. And the real British people have an extremely low opinion of Canadians. And I find this really funny. The Canadian worships someone who despises him and considers him inferior. Canada isn't a democracy, not even a parliamentary one. You see, Canada operates on a medieval system. The Lord of the Land employs Knights to keep his Vassals in line. The Vassals work the land and in exchange, the Lord of the Land guarantees them his protection as well as food and lodging. That's why socialism seems to work in Canada. Socialism is based on the medieval Lords, Knights and Vassals system.

The Canadians brag about their socialist system but really, they're all slaves to it. The Government of Canada makes up the Knights, the big-shots in England ( including the British Prime Minister and the Royals) are the Lords of the Land. And the Canadians of all hues are the Vassals. They toil the land to please the Lords and the Knights and don't even realize that they would be fine without Lords and Knights. Deep down, the Canadian knows that his life is empty, his country is lousy and that things could be livelier, more competitive, faster-paced and bigger. Yet he's afraid to take that bold step. Americans are never afraid to take a bold step. That's why we're Number One. Canadians are never going to be Number One. They just don't have what it takes. They lack the intelligence, the boldness, the entrepreneurship, the drive, the ruthlessness and the ambition. They're happy sitting around discussing Crosby versus Gretzky, the goodness of Maple syrup, and how much they don't like Americans, or the non-European immigrants these multicultural Canadians claim to love so much.

People of color considering moving to North America, please be advised of this hidden truth. If you want to see real multiculturalism, avoid Canada altogether. Down there, they talk the talk but don't walk the walk. All of their leaders? So Caucasian. All of their power holders? So Caucasian. The inmates of their prisons? Not so Caucasian. Hell, even the person in charge of Aboriginal Affairs in Canada is Caucasian? How in hell could he possibly relate to the Aboriginals or have their best interests at heart if he isn't one of them? Next thing you know, they'll make a conservative White person leader of the Black Canadian Coalition or some shit like that!

For true multiculturalism, come to America. Do it legally, though. It's easy to become a legal resident of America if you're a person of color who happens to be a citizen or resident of Canada. Bring your University degree with you. I'm originally from Boston, Massachusetts. The Governor of Massachusetts is a Black man. Elected by Blacks and Whites and everyone in between. We don't just say we're multicultural in America, we live it! The President of the United States is a Black man, born to a Kenyan intellectual and an Irishwoman from Kansas. What does that tell you? Come live among us. We're becoming a truly magnificent nation. We'll get through the immigration reform mess, the oil spill and the endless and unnecessary conflicts in the Middle East together. Trust me on that one. We're the ultimate survivors. And we welcome you among us.

Samuelx
Samuelx
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6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Solution

You should quit Ottawa, and come to Toronto.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Same sick fuck!!!

Why he cannot be banned from Literotica is beyond me...

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
So, explain this...

Why is it that blacks from the US come to Canada to get away from things here for a while? Anything of "multiculturalism" here in the states is largely forced and "tolerated", which I hate that word. But if you hate Canadian government so much, how come you're not living here?

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
to thelox

thanks for adding your 2 cents. this guy likes mixing about 5% facts and 95% fiction. I'm a white canadian, but I work with a lot of americans and canadians of all races, and for the most part I think everyone I've met gets along well. the author knows nothing of canadian politics. technically both canada and the u.s. are democracy's, however if anyone wants to look at negative points, you can just look at the electoral college in the u.s. Neither country is perfect, nor are it's citizens but this b.s. is a disservice to those of us who can actually get along with one another.

thelox47thelox47over 13 years ago

America is better, in a poll canada is better off after the economic collapse canada has not had to bail out the banks only the automotive industry, which says alot about the country on a whole

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