An Unfaithful Wife: Brad's Story

The faculty meeting followed the usual pattern. They all suck. After the department heads and Athletic Director all went through their usual spiels I called for questions or comments from the floor. This was my 'crappy time'. I got the usual, 'why aren't we enforcing this or that rule', 'shouldn't someone be in the cafeteria making the kids pick up all their trash', 'why aren't you keeping kids from eating in the halls,' and the always heard, 'I'm not attending any assemblies where there's going to be a prayer'.

I listened to the bullshit complaints, reminded everyone to listen to channel WKRP for any morning announcements about school closings or delayed openings, and then last gave them my regular reminder that we were all in the building to 'teach', and that we should all remember to do so. I felt like closing with a prayer, but knew anything like that would result in a call from Dr. De' Shields.

I thought about my school. I thought about some of my teachers. I thought about Ms. Fitzgerald. I thought about prayer in school. There were a few teachers I found easy not to like.

There was a small group of teachers I privately called the bounty hunters. These were teachers who seemed to devote their lives catching kids breaking rules. The county had a system-wide rule about leather coats. Kids weren't to wear leather coats to school; it was aimed at a few schools where thievery was a commonplace. We never had that kind of problem, but there were a couple teachers who seemed to take delight in catching and punishing kids for their attire. One was a particularly vicious older woman. She couldn't teach for shit, but she sure knew her student rules. Once there was this little girl who'd been given a suede coat for Christmas. Old Mrs. Nasty caught her and dragged her downstairs to the main hallway where I was usually stationed.

Old Mrs. Nasty pointed to the little girl's coat and said, "Leather coat! What're you going to do about it?"

Of course this was bullshit. She just wanted to embarrass me in a crowded hall.

The little girl was nearly in tears when she said, "Mr. Wernicke my coat's suede, not leather."

I smiled sweetly at the kid, I took the coat and said, "That's all right sweetie." I frowned at Old Mrs. Nasty and growled, "You heard her; the coat's suede."

Old Mrs. Nasty was furious. She stomped off angrily. Half dozen kids saw the whole scene and were quietly laughing. I took the little girl in the main office where I quietly explained what suede was. Later that afternoon I was given a printout from Old Mrs. Nasty; the printout included a definition of suede highlighted in yellow marker.

Then there were 'assembly nuts'. We had a few older ladies who insisted we begin every auditorium assembly with a prayer. I never had a problem with that. They always had to mention Jesus, but none of my 'other faith' teachers ever once complained.

Of course there was assembly duty; a few teachers were always expected to be on hand to monitor the kids. I had two nasty younger teachers who got wild burrs up their asses. They threatened that if there was another assembly that started with a prayer they'd refuse to do any more assembly duty. I humbly acquiesced; they were excused from assembly duty. I reassigned them to cafeteria duty, the absolute worst nonteaching job in any school. I quietly laughed to myself thinking they'd get to stand in the middle of the cafeteria and have kids throw particles of food at them for twenty-five minutes.

Why did I think of these hateful teachers? I thought of them because I knew most of them had a special hatred for Ms. Fitzgerald. Poor Sheena was always being called on the carpet by one or the other of the assistant principals. Sheena tried things; she arranged 'mock trials' in her classroom. She planned and took kids on field trips. She, heaven forbid, even let the kids excuse themselves to the lavatory during class time. In other words little Sheena Fitzgerald, being a creative innovative teacher was hated by the 'it's not my job' crowd.

OK, so I was a wimpy pussy, but I guess I liked Ms. Fitzgerald. If I was careful, if I kept everything on the table, out in the open no one would be able to complain, and I'd be able to have an 'out of school' friend. It seemed like a manageable idea.

Oh no was I wrong! It was all downhill after that.

~~v~~

We went ice skating. I hadn't been since before my divorce. Bridget had gone ice skating but never really learned; Brad junior however, was quite good. We ice skated. Bridget fell down. Sheena fell down. Sheena's little girl Laura fell I down. I even fell down. It was fun.

After skating we went back to the condo and fixed homemade pizzas and watched a video. We watched Disney's old thing "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Even Brad junior enjoyed it.

Like I said it was all downhill. My kids fell in love with her. I was still having serious trust issues, but Sheena was proving to be the real deal. We started dating in earnest. After our first 'real' date she insisted all our following dates include my kids and her Laura. That Sheena; she was marvelous!

Sheena pulled out all the stops. She didn't hide a thing. She told my kids right away she didn't want to be their mother; she only wanted to be my friend and help out where she could. I was a goner. I never believed it could ever happen again. I kept waiting for some other shoe to drop, some bad thing to happen. It was crazy; nothing bad ever happened, my life kept getting better and better.

~~v~~

I sat back and looked at the notes I'd jotted down for my son. I knew I needed to add something more.

Who was Sheena? What had happened to her? What bad things had she told me? What role did she play, and how did she become such an important part of everything we all did? There were some things young Brad knew, but I thought there were still things that he needed to hear that he didn't know.

I remembered after my divorce how I'd suffered. I'd been lonely, embittered, despairing, and I felt a profound sense of inferiority. I especially remembered the loneliness; how it gnawed at me, that's something that can eat a person's insides right out. I felt like I hadn't measured up. I hadn't been good enough. I remembered I constantly wondered where I had failed. Had I failed as provider, as a father, a lover? I just didn't know. Carol never said. I remember how desperately I needed answers, I needed closure, but it had never come.

Somehow Sheena had a sense of this. She seemed to know. We talked. It wasn't easy. She was a woman, and I'd gained a healthy mistrust of the opposite sex. In fact, after my decision to accede to her 'request' for a date I went back to my school's records and checked up on her background. I found out very little. She'd graduated from a fairly typical state college; much as I had. She was a little younger than me, and she had a young daughter. There was no mention of a husband so I at first assumed she'd had her child out of wedlock, and the stuff she'd said about a divorce had been a lit. A bad divorce can do that to a person. I did notice she'd changed her name.

I had to admit it; I was paranoid. I had her address so I'd drive by her apartment complex and watch. I wanted to see if she was dating anyone else. Was she just stringing me along? Did she sneak out after work and go to some tavern? I found it was hard to take a chance and try to trust another person. It was just so hard.

Our first dates were homely things, the simplest; we went to a Denny's or Texas Road House and usually a movie. Was I cheap? Yes, but I didn't know the woman, I only knew that I needed to gently find out as much as I could. Was I surprised? I found out so much I thought I was reading a book. I guess I was, and it was a theme I already knew.

Sheena told me her story, and in the telling she set me free. Her story came out one night while our kids were asleep in their respective rooms; Brad junior in his, Laura sharing with Bridget. Sheena and I had spent another wonderfully restless time tossing and turning in my bed.

Sheena was a warm and caring lover. We started slowly. Our first occasions were tentative, not very exciting. I was afraid I'd hurt her, and later she told me she was afraid I'd think she was too aggressive. After several times we found the right mix; it had been a long time since I'd felt the way I did, and she told me she'd never experienced what true love making was like until me. I believed her.

Let's get back to Sheena's story.

Like me she'd fallen in love with her high school sweetheart, but not like me they'd eschewed the use of contraceptives. Sheena, in her junior year found herself with child. Her boyfriend wanted to abort the 'thing', but Sheena held out, they married, and both managed to work and still get through college.

Sheena's uncle was a judge; he made a few calls and she found herself at Oak Crest. Her husband became a car salesman, he sold Saabs. I'd heard rumors; I doubted if they were true, but I'd heard only conceited pricks bought Saabs. I only bought Fords or Chevys so it didn't really matter.

She said he was a good salesman but a bad husband and lover. She said she never fully understood what 'slam, bam, thank you ma'am' meant until she got married. He never hurt her, but she said he wasn't very tender. She'd been a virgin when they started, and she said she expected a little warmth, foreplay, before the main event. Her husband she said never understood that she needed to be warmed up a little; he complained that she was too cold, too dry, and not very 'fun loving'. She asked; how could she be fun loving if all it did was scrape up her insides and make her sore?

Once she said she was too tired so he went to the bathroom, masturbated in a sock, came out, and threw the sock at her. Since he wore patterned socks, when it came time to do the wash she just threw that pair out. She said he got all bent out of shape when he found out she hadn't washed his 'favorite' pair of socks.

She said it took her months before she had the courage to do his 'thing', and then he wanted her to 'swallow' too. She said she hated it. She said he peed on her once.

She said his semen smelled and tasted awful. She hated it. Half the time he didn't shower before sex and his whole body would reek. Once he demanded she 'just do him', and 'swallow'. She refused so he went in the bathroom, masturbated in a paper cup, brought it out and made her drink it right from the cup. He held her still by twisting her arm back behind her back. She said she moved out after that.

He tried to follow her and make her move back, but she'd moved back home with her parents. Her husband tried to get their girl, but her dad got a restraining order out, and then when her uncle got her a good lawyer her husband finally backed off. The divorce went through, and she found herself almost alone with just Laura. Of course her mom and dad wouldn't allow that. Laura was just a toddler at the time so Sheena's mom came to her rescue.

Listening to Sheena I realized, as bad as my divorce had been, hers had been even worse. I was never threatened or in fear of physical harm from Carol or her doctor. No one ever 'twisted' my arm.

I realized I was falling in love with Sheena, and it scared me. I was afraid of making another commitment. She saw right through me. She told me some of things her husband said to her. He'd told her he didn't think she was 'sexual enough', that she wasn't pretty, that she was only fit to be a receptacle for his sperm, that she didn't know how to please him. He told her how he thought she was a clinging vine, she was suffocating him, and that he needed time for himself, time to be free.

Near the end she said he drifted from mean to maudlin. He told her he was already seeing someone else, someone better in bed, someone who appreciated him, and that this new and better 'someone' had money. Then he'd get sad and guilty; he'd cry and whimper that she was too good for him, that he needed someone who wasn't so wholesome, and someone not afraid to get dirty.

At the very end she said her husband admitted everything; he'd had affairs, he'd been with several other women. He told her he did it because it was exciting, it was always an adventure, and he knew he could get away with it. He said she was boring, and he just couldn't see himself living with her the rest of his life.

I listened and I realized Sheena's husband had said many of the things Carol had said or tried to say to me. I thought, 'it must be part the common lament the unfaithful used to justify their wickedness. Yes, Carol and Sheena's husband had been wicked, cruelly wicked people. But they both got one thing right; neither was good enough for the person they betrayed. I realized while listening to Sheena's story why Carol needed to divorce me; it wasn't about jobs or money, or power or prestige, it was because Carol always knew I was the better person. I was better than Carol; she was the one who was inferior, it had been her who failed, not me.

~~v~~

I got Sheena to agree to give up her apartment and move her and her daughter in with me and mine. Then after a few weeks Sheena and I sat our kids down at the table one night and had the 'big talk'. They were miles head of us.

Shortly thereafter Sheena and I tied the knot. Her parents, my parents, my siblings with their kids, and a few of our teacher friends were all there. I loved her, I really loved her. At last I'd rediscovered happiness. I'd found closure. I believed she had too.

Of course my feelings for Carol had changed. I no longer hated her. I felt sorry for her. It seemed that while my life was getting better Carol's well...

~~v~~

Carol, already had one child by Dr. Gilmore, but she'd separated from him. Seems she'd found someone even better. She'd sued Gilmore for divorce so she could start openly dating a heart surgeon. I didn't know what to think. We'd dated close to six years, and been married twelve before she took me deep. She'd only been with Gilmore a little more than three. I was convinced there was more to the story. I thought Carol was sick.

Did Carol get her divorce? Did she get her heart surgeon? Yes she did, and the last I heard she was presumably happily married. But with Carol one never really knows. I knew one thing. Once I thought I'd had all I ever wanted only to see it turn to dust. Now I realized I'd been given a second chance, and I was absolutely making the most of it.

Epilogue:

Carol's story had ended long ago for me, but whenever Brad junior stopped by he always had something to say about his mom. He was worried about her. He said every time he stopped in to see her all she talked about was me and her and our long dead marriage. He said she seemed to be living too much in the past. She did say once she was 'a little bit' sorry she divorced me. I was sorry too...then.

I just kind of feel sorry for Carol now. I think she's searching for something she'll never find. She came to Brad junior's wedding, but she didn't bring anybody. I thought she's got the heart surgeon; she could have brought him. She looked as lovely as ever. I danced with her once at the reception, and she still felt good in my arms. I still remembered her perfume. We talked and laughed about some old things.

About halfway through the dance I realized Carol was cuddling. I got a little embarrassed and felt self-conscious. I glanced over at Sheena. She was smiling; she saw it too. I thought; 'that's my girl'.

I was a little surprised; Carol mentioned Vernon Smithers. I'm not at all sure, but I think I heard the guy had his own auto shop. I wonder maybe Carol's mom and dad should never have broken that up. I thought maybe Carol had found what she was looking for at sixteen and had it taken away. That was kind of sad in a way.

Back to the real world:

Not long after Sheena and I married we had to buy something bigger than the condo. There are eight of us now counting Junior and his wife. Let's see, there's Bridget and Laura of course. Since then Sheena and I added two more, there's Shawn who is ten now, and then there's Eileen, she only seven.

Sheena gave up teaching; she's gained a little weight lately, makes her look softer, even prettier if that's possible. She says she likes staying home; says she likes to cook and take care of the kids. She's still a regular fixture at Oak Crest. She teaches banjo and does some SAT tutoring on the side. I'm good with all that. I'll say this; Sheena can have or do anything she wants, and that's a fact!

~~v~~

I see Brad junior just pulled in the driveway. He's only been married a couple years. I hope I'm ready with what he needs to hear. I hope things work out with him and his wife. She's a nice girl. If things don't; well we'll be here for him. That's what parents do.

One last thing:

Am I happy? Now that's a silly question.

The end.

*****

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