Anal, Again!byOlive Hizklosoff©
Let's talk seriously about anal stimulation and anal play. The truth is that the anus is one of the most significant erogenous zones of the body. You can talk about sucking on nipples or earlobes or clits or penises but none of them have the eroticism of the asshole. It's the "dirty" place that seems so popular at the moment. Sure, the anus is the receptacle for intercourse for gay men. Nothing I've read or heard says that gay men aren't having a good time. They suck each other dicks just like hetero women suck their men's dicks. The good feelings are the same for the recipient of oral sex, whether it's a man or a woman doing the sucking. Yea, I know what the people in the red states say. Who the fuck cares!! Feeling good is all about feeling good.
No scientific study has determined that a gay man's anus is any more or less a suitable receptacle for anal stimulation and anal sex than a straight man's anus or, for that matter a woman's anus. Therefore an anus is an anus. All anuses are rich with nerve endings that, when properly stimulated, offer their owners incredible feelings. The ability and willingness to accept anal play is a mind thing. As a man, if I allow my anus to be part of sexual activity, then it means I'm gay. If I'm a woman and I allow my rectum to be licked or penetrated then I am a dirty whore. There we go with the "Red State Philosophy". There's no sodomy of any kind in the red states. Ask Pat Robertson or Sean Hannity.
As a 60 year old heterosexual male, I find the anus a very important part of my sex life. I have always been turned on by the description of anal sex in the written word and the depiction of anal sex in pornographic movies. As the arbiter of what's good in pornography in my house, I have always selected movies that include lots of anal sex. (I like almost anything directed by John Leslie.) Porno is usually part of our foreplay.
If you and your S/O like porn, then make sure that everything you watch has some anal in it. Porn can be so educational. And it should be gentle anal sex, not some guy who is hung like a horse jamming his dick into some girl's ass as she grimaces in pain. Good anal sex is done with respect and kindness. Anal sex is something that has to be cultivated, beginning with the understanding of what can cause pain or discomfort and what can create pleasure. In order to get to the point where your penis is all the way in your partner's ass and she is begging you to fuck her, which means she wants to heighten the feelings she's having by you pulling your dick almost all the way out until her sphincter is grabbing the head of your cock and then you push it all the way in, repeating this action until she's had an orgasm and you're ready to dump your load in her, takes a long time for most women. You have to crawl before you can walk and you have to walk before you can run.
Never force yourself on your S/O. Anal play is done best by prior agreement. Sometimes that agreement is implied. For example, you are sucking on her clit, with a finger or two inside her pussy. Maybe you let your fingers do the walking towards her anus. Now she could give you a no with a little negative "Uh-Uh!" or she might open her legs a little more to give you better access. I know how it works because it's happened to me. Most of the time I get a "Come On In!" but sometimes, for whatever reason, she's not interested. When I get the OK, it's generally fingers first and then her legs open as wide as they can, which is an invitation to full-on anal fucking.
If you want anal play from her and she's reluctant, then you might want to include some kind of toy in your playtime and show her what you want. Remember, your hands are very important, especially your fingers. Keeps your hands as soft as possible. If you want to insert a finger or two or three into her anus, make sure your nails have no sharp edges. A sharp nail can feel like a pinprick and can do harm to the fragile tissue inside her rectum. Likewise, if you want her to finger your rectum, she'd better not have long fingernails. You might be looking at a hospital visit if you are penetrated by some of the nails I've seen. Saliva is a fine lube for finger play but toys and cocks definitely require a good personal lubricant and, as everybody says, too much is not enough.
I could go on and on but enough said. If you want your prick up her ass, you would do well to show her that what feels good to the goose feels just as good to the gander.