Anal Sex: The First TimebyPositiveThinker©
"It won't go in. You're too tight. Bend over more and stick your ass up higher so that I can get more of a straight line run at it. Yeah, that's it. Now hold that position. Fuck! It's not working, it just bends. Every time it starts going in, it bends itself out."
"Try it again but be more forceful, but gentle this time."
"Okay, try spreading your ass cheeks for me with your hands to give me better access and a bigger target. Wider. Wider. Just a little wider."
"Gees, if I spread my ass any wider, I'll tear myself another asshole."
"Okay, that's good, now just hold it like that."
"I'm holding it, but hurry; I'm getting a cramp in my leg."
"Gees, what the fuck, did you just fart?"
"Sorry. I had hot dogs and beans for lunch and the chili is giving me gas."
"Maybe we should try this another time. The stink from your fart suddenly put me out of the mood. Gees, that's so gross. Oh, my God, that smells so bad."
"No, c'mon, I've been asking you to try anal sex forever. Let's just do it and get it over with. You're always looking for the smallest excuse not to try it."
"Okay, okay. I'm trying but I just can't get the thing in. It just bends. Either it's not hard enough or you're not big enough to accept it or a little of both."
"Try some of that lube gel."
"Where is it?"
"It's in the nightstand drawer. No, not that one, the other one."
"Okay, I got it."
"Gees, that stuff is cold."
"It's leaking out all over the clean bedspread."
"Sorry, but what do you want me to do? I'm holding my ass up as high as I can. You didn't squirt it in far enough."
"Get off the bedspread then and I'll turn down the bed. I don't care if the sheets get stained. The sheets need changing anyway. Okay, now get back on the bed and put yourself in that same position while holding your ass cheeks apart to make the opening of your asshole wider. Raise your ass higher, the way it was before, a little bit more. Now, spread your ass cheeks a little more with your hands, just a bit more. Okay, that's good. Perfect."
"You're going to have to squirt some more of that lube gel up my ass. I think most of it dripped out on the rug when I got off the bed."
"On the rug? Where on the rug? I'll get a tissue and clean it up before continuing. I don't know if that stuff stains or not. Where is it?"
"I don't think it stains. It's just alcohol and water."
"Just in case, I'd rather clean it up before continuing."
"It's right there. Do you see the glistening glob of gel? See? Right there."
"Yeah, I have it. Okay, good. Got it. Now, get back in position again. Raise your ass higher and spread your cheeks nice and wide again. Are you ready?"
"Yeah, go ahead and squeeze some more lube up my ass. Only, this time go deeper so that it doesn't leak out of my ass again. Fuck, that's so cold. That really feels weird having you inject that stuff up there."
"Okay, ready? Relax. Relax, I said. Your whole body is so tense. I can't stick it in if you're going to be a baby about it. Okay, that's better. I'll try sticking it in again, but a little deeper this time. Okay, it's going in, now."
"Gees, that feels weird. It hurts a little but it feels good at the same time. Easy, though, not too fast and not too deep. I don't want it to get stuck in there. It'd be embarrassing to have to go to the emergency room with that up my ass. Okay, you can try inserting it just a little deeper, but go really slow. I don't want you tearing anything in there."
"Don't worry, I'm being careful. How's that feel? Can you feel it going up your ass? Does it feel good?"
"Ow! Fuck! It feels painful. Yeah, that's real pain. Wait, okay, right there, yeah, that feels good. Go slow, a little slower and aim it more towards the left. Hump me with it but not too hard. Okay, try going in just a little deeper. Yeah, that feels kind of nice. How deep are you inside my ass?"
"How deep? Seriously? About an inch."
"An inch? That's all? Are you kidding me? Gees, if feels like your in there a foot."
"Nope, that's as far as I got before it started bending again. Every time it starts to bend, it pops out."
"I think I'm done, then. Okay, slide it out now, but slowly. I don't want you to tear anything inside me while you're pulling it out. I feel like I have to do a poopie, anyway. Suddenly, I feel constipated. Maybe that pushed my shit back. Fuck! I have a belly ache."
"How could it? I was only up your ass an inch. It's just your imagination."
"Suddenly, I feel bloated and I have to fart again."
"Well, turn your ass the other way, then. I don't want you farting in my face like you did the last time."
"Sorry. Gees that was a big one. Sorry."
"Gees do me a favor and if you know you want to try anal sex, please don't eat beans beforehand. God, that stinks."
"So, be honest. How did it feel?"
"How did it feel? Uhm, it felt strange. I didn't like the feeling. I mean, it's okay, but it's weird."
"People make it look easier than it is, I guess. Maybe your ass wasn't made to take things in, only push things out."
"Let me try it on you now, Christine."
"I don't think so, David. No way."
"C'mon, you said if I was willing for you to stick that huge dildo up my ass, Christine, that you'd let me try fucking you up the ass."
"I hardly stuck it up your ass, David. It was only up your ass an inch before you started whining like a girlie man."
"I don't care. It doesn't matter. You agreed that if you stuck that dildo up my ass, then I could try sticking my cock up your ass. You promised."
"Yeah, well, that was before I saw the reaction on your face to me sticking my dildo up your ass only an inch. I don't think I want you sticking your cock up my ass six inches after watching how painful it was for me to stick this dildo up your ass and for you to accept it one inch."
"It wasn't that painful. It was just weird. It will probably be different, easier with you. It felt a little like the time I had a colostomy."
"Okay, and why would it be easier for me for you to fuck me up the ass with your cock six inches deep when you couldn't even take my dildo up your ass an inch? Why? Tell me that. Why?"
"Gees calm down. This is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be erotic, something to add to our sexual peccadilloes. We shouldn't be arguing over anal sex."
"Okay, I'm calm. So, tell me why you think it's easier for me to be fucked up the ass than you?"
"You're a woman. You're made differently. You're asshole probably opens up bigger and easier, in the way your pussy does. Yeah, your body is used to having babies."
"Hold on, buddy boy. Women don't shit babies out of their asses, David. We're not cows."
"C'mon, Christine, at least try it. I'm losing my erection. I'm dying to know what it feels like to fuck you up the ass while leaning forward and feeling your tits."
"I don't think so David. I've seen the size of your craps and they are huge compared to my stool. Your asshole is much bigger than mine. If I can't get my dildo up your ass, even with the gel, there's no way you'll get your cock up my ass."
"Well, that's just not fair Christine. You agreed. You promised. I've been asking you to try anal sex for six years and—"
"I'm sorry David, but it just doesn't appeal to me to have you sticking your cock up my ass. Maybe you should have married someone more sexually adventurous. Maybe, you should have married a Greek woman or an Eskimo."
"Don't be ridiculous. Next you'll be telling me to try it with a gay guy."
"Well...maybe you should if it's that important to you."
"I'm not gay. Besides, all types of nationalities have anal sex. A lot of women enjoy it, too, I've read, once you get beyond the initial fear and rejection of having something foreign stuck up your ass, then it's okay. Besides, my cock isn't even foreign," he said with a laugh. "It's one hundred percent American beef."
"I'm not even in the mood, now, David. Your farting ruined it for me."
"I just thought we'd try it once just to say that we did it, Christine, should someone ask us if we ever tried anal sex."
"And who is going to ask us if we ever tried anal sex? My mother?"
"You never know, it could come up in conversation at a cocktail party or sporting event."
"You're nuts, David. No one ever talks about anal sex. It's something you whisper about behind closed doors."
"Just because I want to try something a little different, Christine, instead of the same sexual positions doesn't make me nuts."
"What if I just blow you?"
"Blow me? That would work. Can I cum in your mouth?"
"Yes, you can cum in my mouth. Anything to get you off the anal shit."
"Will you swallow?"
"What happened to cumming on my tits? I thought you liked cumming on my tits."
"I just said that to get you to blow me. I hate cumming on your tits. It's akin to kissing your sister."
"How would you know? Did you ever kiss your sister?"
"A long time ago, but never mind that, can we just get back to you blowing me?"
"Okay, you can cum in my mouth.
"Will you swallow?"
"Gees, David, it's not enough I'm willing to blow you and have you cum in my mouth instead of on my tits and now you have to push for more by asking me to swallow?"
"Will you? You've never swallowed my load and it doesn't feel complete if you don't swallow. You always spit it out."
"Okay, yes, I'll swallow your load. Okay? I'll do anything rather than to have you stick your cock up my ass. Gross."
"How do you know it's gross if you never tried it?"
"Well, if I go by your reaction of me sticking my dildo up your ass only an inch and rejecting any more, then it's gross."
"Okay, enough talk about anal sex. Blow me."
"You're so romantic, David. Blow me. What the Hell is that?"
"Sorry, I'm just horny after thinking I was going to fuck you up the ass."
"Just be quiet while I blow you. Okay? No more talking."
"You said I can cum in your mouth."
"And you said that you'll swallow."
"Yes, David. Let me know when you're done asking me questions so that I can start blowing you."
"I'm done. Only, you won't spit it out like you did the last time, will you?"
"No, I won't spit it out. I'll swallow it."
"I promise, but if I swallow, there'll be no more talk of anal sex. And no more talking at all, until I'm done sucking you off. Okay?"
"Did you mean that no more talking about anal sex just for today or forever?"