Angel Dreams: Dream 6

[My Love, you give me confidence that I never possessed before. I haven’t always been this bashful. When I was very young, I never met a stranger. But abuse turns everyone into a stranger. It doesn’t matter who they are and how good they seem. The suspicion is always there. When will they hurt me, laugh at me, humiliate and embarrass me? Once trust is abused it hides itself, vowing never to return, never to be given again, in fear of being hurt.

How can a submissive live without love? They are living, but it is no life for them. How can there be love when there is no trust? But, how can you give trust and love when you are afraid? It takes a special person to coax Trust out of its deep cave. To assure it that it will be protected from hurt and abuse. A special person who promises Trust that although there are still bad people who would abuse it again, it will be protected by love. Trust and love can’t live without each other.

I lived with demons for so long it was hard to imagine life without them. When I thought I could love and trust again, they would whisper, “you will get hurt, you will be sorry.” I would either get scared and run away or the demon predictions would come true. They never let me forget this.

My Love, I know there are still demons, you say everyone has them, but mine are very quiet now. They have been proven wrong and mock me no more. There are some wounds that go so deep that you think they will never heal. You teach me that all wounds heal with time and with care and with love. They may leave scars, reminders that help forge who we are, but they WILL heal.

In the past, when I went to bed, I had to be numb to drown out the demons and to not feel the hurt. Refusing to be ignored, the demons and the hurt would manifest themselves in my nightmares. How could I have ever been able to feel love through all that numbness? You have to be able to feel, to feel love. Yes, you’ll feel pain, but feeling love makes it worth it. I now know that I have to feel the pain to feel the love.

Is this why I have so few nightmares now my Love? I do have bad dreams sometimes; some days are so dark that it is inevitable. But dark days are easier to handle now when so many days are full of sunshine. That’s what you are to me my Love. Sunshine to chase away the dark clouds and the rain. The brightest lamp to light up even the blackest nights. Of course, you don’t keep me from getting wet; in fact, you make me very wet. Every night when I close my eyes, my body filled with your warmth, I dream; when I open my eyes, I am saturated with your love……]

“We aren’t putting it off any longer angel,” you said to me, “My family wants to meet the woman who has stolen my heart and it’s time we went to visit.” I knew what you were saying was true, but God, how it filled me with terror. We had been discussing this since we had moved in together and before when we had only talked online. You knew my fears, but didn’t exactly understand them.

It’s true, I was a stripper in several clubs with lots of people watching, but I was never sober when I was. Even around my own family I am very quiet. I have been afraid for a long time of being noticeable or making a fool of myself. Anywhere I go I always try to fade into the woodwork, happy to be ignored. You have given me a lot of confidence and have elevated my self-esteem, but it worries me so that I will displease you.

I woke up the morning of our visit and got up to fix breakfast. I made the mistake of trying to eat with you. Everything I ate came right back up. My stomach was a ball of nerves. I took a shower and when I got out, wrapped a towel around me and sat on the edge of the bed. How am I going to do this? I thought. We are going to eat dinner with your large family. I know I will be even more nervous once I’m there. What if I get sick? I cringed at the thought. My mind thought of a million things that I could do wrong to draw attention to myself, embarrassing me and most importantly, embarrassing you. I can’t do this, was all I could think.

You walked in the room, looking at me sitting there in my towel, white faced and miserable. I looked into your beautiful eyes as you knelt down in front of me. You took my hands and told me to trust you, to quit worrying. You told me how beautiful I am, how nice your family is and how much they will love me. I wanted to trust you my love, but I was still so frightened. Nodding my head at your words, I got up and started to get ready. You left the room and came back with something for me to smoke.

On occasion, you and I loved getting high together. We don’t do it often and I never do it without your permission. It was just what I needed that morning. Sitting on the bed, wearing only my underwear, I smoked what you had given me. You sat behind me, massaging the tension from my shoulders. One thing I love about getting high is that it makes me very horny. I smoked the whole thing alone and leaned back against your body, relaxing. I moaned as your arms came around me and your hands slid under my bra. I turned my head and you brought your lips down onto mine, my arms above me, I wrapped them around your neck.

My Love, how wonderful and contented you make me feel. We undressed each other and you pulled me on top of your body. Skin to skin, your mouth devoured mine, your arms around me, touching me everywhere. You pulled me up and took my breasts into your mouth. I screamed with delight as your teeth scraped across my nipples and sunk into them. As you continued to manipulate my tender tits, I spread my legs wide and rubbed my excited clit on your hardness.

I placed my hands on your chest as you reached down and pulled my cheeks open wide, spreading me to accommodate your thick cock. You rubbed your tool between my soaked lips, setting my hard clit aflame with desire. Looking up at me, you asked me what I wanted. “I want you inside me my Love,” I answered breathlessly. “Beg me little girl,” you said wickedly, making my pussy ache more for you. “Please my Love, please bury yourself deep inside me, please fuck me Sir, I beg you, fuck me now!” I pleaded.

You reached around me with your strong hands and spread me wide. Your hips thrust upwards and impaled me on your engorged shaft. With your hands under me helping, I began riding you hard, sinking all the way down on you, burying your cock deep inside me. Raising your head, your mouth and then your teeth fastened on my nipples, making me move harder and faster on you. “Yes angel, that’s a good girl, ride my cock,” you urged. Realizing that my state of mind was making it harder for me to concentrate, you brought your open palms down on the cheeks of my ass. With my head thrown back in rapture, I begged you to please spank me, my Love.

Again and again your hand came down smartly on my ass until my cheeks were rosy red. Realizing that I was in need of release, you commanded me to cum. My hips moved faster on your cock, taking all of you, your balls slapped up against me. I groaned loudly, willing myself to cum on your cock. When your dry fingers penetrated my tight ass, the pain spurred my cunt to start clutching you. “Yes Sir, oh yes, please,” I pleaded with you. “Please what angel?” you asked, “What do you want?” “Fuck my ass please,” I screamed, “hurt me Love, make me cum please!” You stabbed my asshole with another finger and I lost control, cumming hard, my juices ran down your cock.

You waited until my orgasm was complete and pushed me off your body, throwing me on my back. “Suck my cock,” you ordered, holding yourself above my mouth. Without thinking twice, I brought my mouth up eagerly to take your wet cock into my mouth. The taste of our cum mixing on my tongue as I greedily sucked you into my throat. Your hands entangled in my hair as your hips thrust you deeper into me. “Oh yes baby, just like that, take my cock deeper,” you groaned. Opening my mouth as wide as I could, I worked my head on your thrusting member, my tongue encircling you as I sucked you harder. I felt your cock swell as you thrust deep into my mouth, your hands holding my head in place. The first sprays of your love hit the back of my throat and I swallowed hard and fast to take all of your cum down my throat.

When you had depleted your load inside my mouth, you fell back onto the bed, smiling at me. “You are a good angel,” you praised me. “But now we are going to be late, so get your ass in gear and get ready,” you dictated, trying to look stern. I smiled at you and shrieked when you slapped my ass as I climbed over you to get up. Not feeling as nervous, I took another shower and got ready to go quickly. You had chosen what you wanted me to wear, so I did not have to worry about my clothes.

The ride to your parents was long and it took a couple of hours to arrive. My nervousness grew stronger the closer we got. I stared out my window avoiding your penetrating gaze. When we finally got there, I sat in the car until you came around and opened my door. I looked up at you with wide, shining eyes as you helped me out of the car. You put your arms around me, engulfing my body as you hugged me tight. “Don’t worry, little one,” you whispered in my ear, “it will be just fine.” I looked up at you and pleaded with you not to leave me by myself. You smiled at me and told me that you would try, but that your family would want to talk to me and I wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t there.

Looking stronger than I felt, I walked beside you, your hand resting on the small of my back. I willed my feet to move and just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. I took a deep breath as the door opened before we ever got to it. Introductions began and I felt lost as I tried to remember who everyone was. Your mom laughed when she saw the look of concentration on my face. “I don’t remember all their names,” she said, “don’t you try to for a long time, it’s a lost battle.”

At dinner, I didn’t eat much; afraid I couldn’t hold it down. Your family made me feel at ease but I worried about saying the wrong thing or doing something wrong. I listened and only talked when someone asked me a question. We decided not to tell that we met online, so you answered questions about our meeting and falling in love. I sat beside you drawing from your strength as I concentrated on my food.

Everyone spread out after dinner and for awhile you were beside me on the couch talking to your parents. I sat there not volunteering anything, comfortable listening to the conversation. My mind had started thinking about how great everything was going and I had to ask you to repeat what you had just said. “My dad wants to show me something Nikki, I’ll be right back,” you said looking at me firmly. I felt myself tense, but I only nodded and smiled at you, telling you that was fine.

Looking around for something to say, I sat there with your mother. My mind tumbling for words, she began talking, making me feel better. I am usually better one on one than trying to talk in front of a crowd, so I didn’t feel as uneasy. Your family had teased me some about my southern accent, but it was all good natured, just making me blush. Maybe everything would be fine I thought, I’m not doing so badly.

As I sat and listened to your mother, answering questions about my hometown and my family, I felt myself relaxing. I became a sponge when she began talking about you. I was loving the stories she told and laughing at the mischief you got into, wanting to learn as much about you as I could. When she began talking about us and our relationship, I tensed a little, but tried to answer as honestly as I could. I agreed when she told me what a good man you were, but my stomach felt like it jumped into my throat when she asked if I had a problem with marriage, having children and raising a family.

Looking like a deer caught in headlights, my mind went blank. What should I say? What have you told her and what have you not? I tried to clear my suddenly dry throat; I told her no and asked where the bathroom was. When she told me, I muttered something that sounded like excuse me and fled the room. I ran to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet. Trying to swallow hard, I lost the battle to keep my dinner down. Fortunately I hadn’t eaten much and I tried to be as quiet as I could.

After washing my face and hands, I looked at my pale face in the mirror. I can’t face them, I thought and I can’t face you. I knew I had panicked and let you down. Wondering what I was going to do, knowing if I went back in I’d be sick again, I quietly opened the door. Not seeing anyone, I slipped out the front door to get some fresh air.

It was beautiful where your parents lived and I walked around gazing at the mountains and forest. The stroll around the house helped, but I felt that neither you nor your family would want me back inside. I had behaved so badly. Walking down the driveway, I had the brilliant idea to just go and lie down in the car. Getting in the backseat and lying down, I thought I would just stay there and rest until you were ready to leave. My eyes heavy from stress, I fell asleep wondering what your punishment for me would be.

I opened my eyes and wondered if I had just heard my name. Gazing around me, I remembered I was in the car and why. Then I heard you again calling my name. Oh no, I thought, I can’t just sit up and say “here I am love.” I closed my eyes and tried to wish you back into the house with your family. The door opened and I pretended to be asleep. “Nikki,” you said, softly shaking my arm, “wake up baby.” I opened my eyes and tried not to get weepy looking at you in shame. “Oh baby, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you assured me. “My mom told me what she asked you and I scolded her for being nosy and personal,” you said, trying to make me feel better.

My eyes grew wider thinking about you scolding your mom because of me. I’ll never be able to face her again, I thought sadly; she’ll hate me for sure now. “Get out baby and let’s go back,” you told me. “Please Kevin, please don’t make me,” I begged you, “I can’t look at them now.” “Nikki, nobody is mad at you and they all understand,” you tried to explain. I looked at you imploringly, trying to figure out how to make you understand what was going on inside of me. “I don’t know how to explain this my Love, but I’ll try,” I started out, “I’ll do what you tell me to, but even if they aren’t mad or upset, they will all look at me when I come in and some of them will feel sorry for me and I can’t take that much attention.”

You looked at me, trying to understand. “Let’s go for a walk angel,” you said, holding out your hand. I got out of the car and you wrapped your arm around my waist as I laid my head over on your arm and we began walking towards the forest. I loved listening to the sound of your voice talking about your parents’ property and the times you had spent there. We walked deeper and deeper into the woods. I loved the way it smelt, how cool and how quiet it was. Being raised on a mountain in Alabama, I’ve always loved being outdoors.

I asked you about the trail that we are walking on. You told me that it was a hiking trail that you and your family often used. We didn’t have time that day, but you told me that later you would bring me here and take me to the end. “What is at the end?” I asked you. You began telling me how the trail dips down and ends up at a beautiful waterfall and swimming hole. That sounded so nice to me. Where I’m from has a lot of these hidden waterfalls and secret swimming holes that few people know about.

We walked even further until we were deep in the woods. I was in the middle of a sentence when you turned suddenly taking me into your arms and bringing your mouth to mine. The touch of your lips and body made me forget everything that had happened. Your voice alone is enough to make my body respond, but your touch takes me over completely. Our kiss grew deeper and more passionate. Your lips traveled down my neck onto my chest. Your hands were under my skirt, clutching my ass pulling me against your arousal.

When you began sliding your hand under my panties, I asked you to stop for a minute. You looked at me impatiently, telling me that whatever it was better be a good reason for interrupting you. I asked if I would have to face your family again and you told me that we needed to at least tell your parents that I wasn’t feeling well. My Love, I told you, I couldn’t look at them knowing I’ve been out here doing this. You stood looking down at me for a minute, my eyes looked into yours, pleading for you to understand. Finally, you nodded your head, relenting to what I had asked.

I hugged you tightly and you laughed telling me that I was just a little too excited and happy about not having sex, especially since you had such a boner. Your eyes looked at me hungrily when I asked if I could help you out with your problem. I kissed you again as I slowly slid my body down yours until my knees rested on the mossy ground. Your hands went to your jeans and you unfastened them, freeing your cock. I looked up at you again, licking my lips as my hand wrapped around you. You inhaled deeply as my mouth closed over you and I took you into my throat. After going down on the length of you a couple of times, I pulled my mouth back off, licking you and suckling your tender scrotum.

I repeated this teasing a couple of times, taking you deep and then pulling out to lick you, loving the taste of you and the few salty drops that rested on the head of your dick. When I started to take you out of my mouth again, you took things under your control. Your hands quickly went to my head and grabbed my hair; you worked my head up and down on you. I had to concentrate on breathing as you fucked my throat hard and fast. Your cock moved back and forth over my tongue as I tried to wrap it around your thrusting shaft. I almost gagged as your swollen head penetrated the tight ring of my throat again and again.

My hands went up to cup your balls and gently squeeze as I felt you swelling to cum. My tongue went to work as soon as I felt the spurt of your warm cum in back of my throat. Your hands were holding my head in a vise as you thrust as far in me as you could, my nose buried against you. I couldn’t believe how much you kept shooting into my mouth. I tried to swallow it all, but a little escaped out of the corner of my mouth. When you were drained, you pulled out of my mouth. Looking down at me smiling, your finger came down to wipe your cum from my face. My pussy ached as you held your finger out to me and looked into my eyes as I started licking it and sucking it clean.

We walked back to your parents with your arm resting around me, occasionally going under my panties and feeling the hot wetness between my legs. Don’t worry angel, you tell me, I’ll take care of that on the way home. I smiled at the thought of this. The house came into view and I felt my body tensing as we got closer. Your family was gone except for your parents. When your mother spotted me, she rushed over and hugged me. I looked down at my feet as she apologized for having been so insensitive. She told me that you had told her that I probably couldn’t have children and she hadn’t meant to upset me by asking.

Uncomfortable with her apologizing, I told her it was okay and that I was fine. Your dad asked if we had time to walk to the falls and you told him no, that I wasn’t feeling up to it. They looked at each other and turn to us. They wanted to know if we wanted to house sit next weekend while they went on a trip out of town. I looked up at you as you looked at me. I don’t mind I told you and you turned to them and told them yes, we would stay. Then we told them we needed to head home. All the way home, you had me lie back in the seat nude, as you stroked my hot cunt, teasing me for making you stop earlier. You didn’t let me cum until our house was in sight and I screamed with delight when you told me to cum for you as your fingers fucked my juicy cunt.