Angel of Daddy

Even now she was crying. She had needed him, she realized. She wished he had loved her as much he loved those women. Only now it was too late. He needed her now more than she needed him. She was a terrible daughter to want that from him now, she thought.

"Charity." She looked up. It wasn't Jesse sitting beside her anymore. It was her dad. Not the old overweight man they had just admitted to hospice, but the young man she remembered from her childhood.

"Jesse?" she asked. He shook his head. "Dad?"

"Yeah, baby. It's me." He said in her dad's voice. "Your memory of me, anyway."

"I'm sorry. I do need you," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't want you to leave me."

He hugged her, and she felt like she was 12 years old again, tiny, with his big body swallowing her up. "It's ok," he said. "I love you." He kissed her lips. Charity was confused, but she kissed back. It felt good, and she felt her loins stirring. It had been a long time since she had been with a man. But her father?

"It's ok," he said again, easily picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. Charity was even more confused. He laid her down on her bed and started unbuttoning her shirt. She ran her hands over his arms, big but toned. She pulled off his shirt. She remembered those muscles from the summers, when he would go shirtless.

She had slept with a few muscled black guys, but they were always too aggressive for her. Now, he was touching her just like she liked--firm but gentle. He admired her, looking at her body the way he looked at those women. His eyes were a strange brown/blue--Jesse's eyes, and that comforted her, knowing he was doing this.

"You're beautiful, baby," he said, and she would have blushed if she weren't so hot already. She thought about her small breasts and thin frame. Men thought she was attractive when she dressed up, but it was easier to disappear inside a power suit.

"Thank you, Dad. Why...why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you. You wanted me to love you like I love all those other women." She nodded. "You're different. You've always been the woman I loved the most."

She felt her eyes filled with tears. "I know that."

"No, you don't. That's why I'm here."

Sobbing, she hugged him. He kissed her face and her neck, running his hands down her body. She lifted her hips toward him, rubbing herself against his erection. The idea that she was making love to her father excited and scared her. It was just the angel, she thought in the back of her head. What an even stranger thought than being with her father.

He slid off her pants and panties and ran his hand down her shaved mound. He opened the lips with one finger and looked closely. "Have you done this before?" she asked the angel.

"No, but I read the guide," he said with Jesse's matter of fact tone. He bent down and placed his tongue on her clit. She sighed and closed her eyes. He slowly circled her clit with his tongue while rubbing her pussy lips. As she arched toward him, his fingers dived inside and stroked the walls.

She moaned and tightened around his fingers. He increased the pressure, and she felt the friction pushing her toward orgasm. When he pulled away, she opened her eyes and watched him get undressed.

His cock was impressive. She remembered seeing it, but never thought of it as big as it was. He rubbed up against her to kiss her lips again. "Have you done this before, baby?" he asked her.

She laughed. "Of course, Dad. I'm not a kid anymore."

"But you never have a boyfriend."

She kissed his brown lips and smiled. "I guess I always wanted you." He returned the smile. Taking her hand, he placed it on his cock and guided it between her legs. She was surprised how wet she was when he easily slid inside. His eyes rolled back and he inhaled, closing his eyes. She moaned as their hips met and he paused. He leaned down to kiss her neck and started to thrust in and out. She wrapped her arms around him, wishing she could keep him with her forever.

"I missed you," she said. "I've needed you."

"I've always been here, baby, and I'll always be in your heart."

She started sobbing again and she remembered everything good about her father. The summer afternoons spent building bridges and toy cars. Making pizza in the kitchen while dancing to hip hop songs. "I don't want you to die."

He pulled back and met her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Can't you stay this way forever?"

"Not allowed," he said simply. "Stop worrying. Just enjoy it." He kissed at her tears and increased his pace. She moaned again as the heat spread up from her center. The orgasm rolled through her and made her shudder all over. She said through her tears, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, baby," he said. He pushed deep and she felt him throbbing inside her. He exhaled and hugged her close. After a long while, he pulled out and laid down beside her. She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling the stress from the past few days flowing away.

"Wow," he said, and it sounded more like Jesse. She turned her head and saw his blond hair brushing her face.

It took her a moment to come to her senses. "What was that?"

"Your father's memory."

"Did you actually have an orgasm? I'm not on birth control."

"Oh. Oops."

"Oops?" she said, sitting up. "Am I going to have an angel baby?"

"I don't think that's possible," he said. "I'll have to check. Later." He pulled her back down to snuggle. "This feels nice."

She relaxed into him and thought, yes, it did.

Charity visited her dad in the hospice the next day. She hated seeing him hooked up to all the machines, but he actually looked comfortable in the bed, watching TV as usual.

"Dad," she said, unsure of how to approach the topic. She couldn't just say, I had sex with your memory and came to a conclusion. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much."

"It's ok, baby," he said. "You've got a life to live."

"I know, but I kind of--I resented you for living your life after mom left. I didn't want you dating all those women. I was kind of jealous."

He looked over at her. "Jealous? Of what?"

"I thought you loved them more than you loved me." It sounded kind of ridiculous now. She looked away. "I just thought they were more important than me."

"Charity," he said sadly. He looked back at the TV.

"I know now that you really did love me," she said, tearing up. "But I just felt so angry, so I ran away as soon as I could, and ignored you as much as I could. I just wish I had understood better."

"How could you? You were a kid." He sighed. "I'm sorry I ever made you feel that way. I know I could have been a better father, but I was young and horny. You were always the most important woman in my life."

She was sobbing now. "I know, Dad."

"It's ok, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Charity stayed beside him almost everyday, working when she could on her laptop. She told him about her projects, or talked about the shows on TV. He wasn't able to respond after a while, but it didn't matter.

She tried to make up for time as much as possible, opening what little she had of a life to him. Jesse popped in and out, sometimes because she needed him, he said, sometimes because he wanted sex. He promised she wouldn't get pregnant.

It was only a few weeks before her father died from the infection. Charity was sad, but she knew he was at peace.

A few weeks after her father died, Jesse told her, "I have to go now."

"For good?" He nodded. They were having lunch at a restaurant near the hospice. "Will I ever see you again?"

"No," he said, "but you'll be ok."

"Why do you say that?"

"Just keep your eyes open. You'll find someone that can love you for who you are."

"Will we have children?"

He shrugged. "I haven't checked."

She looked off into the distance, thinking, if it was a son, she would name him after her father. "Thank you, Jesse."

"You're welcome." He stood up and pocketed his phone. "Like I said, keep your eyes open." He gave her a kiss and walked away. She sighed, looking at his empty chair. She wasn't even sure what she liked in men. As she was thinking, a black man walked by the table, balancing a tray of food. After a second, she realized it was Daniel, the nurse from the hospice.

"Daniel?" she said. He looked up and stopped. At the same time, his plate of food tumbled to the floor. She rushed to stand up and help him. "I'm sorry!" He frowned at the food on the floor. "Can I buy you another lunch?"

"It's ok," he said, but when he looked up, he recognized her. "Oh, Charity. I...um, well. I guess you can buy me lunch." He smiled shyly, looked away, and then met her eyes again. She smiled too. Maybe it wasn't what Jesse had been talking about, but she knew her heart was open to finding out.