Angels of Rain and Lightning

"Good news!" Dr. Insano cackled. "Dr. Insano has charted the perfect course!" He swung onto the incoming traffic lane, his free arm holding a ray gun as he started to fire at oncoming traffic. Cars swerved to avoid them and they roared down the highway.

Towards the rendezvous.

***

"I just want to be official when I say this," Beta said as he stepped out of the back of the windowless panel van. "This is a really shitty idea."

Lady DG, Hoopster and Dr. Insano all grunted. Maddie, who had been tied up with as many chains, ropes, belts and wound up T-shirts that the group could find, had been dragged out of the back of the van and was now being held up by Hoopster. The end result was that she looked a bit like Bondage Mummy, save that she lacked the carefree cheerfulness and telekenetic powers that made Bondage Mummy such a beloved teen idol. She was awake again, and she was wriggling in her bondage gear, her mouth muffled by several gags as she glared around herself. She saw the small, dingy alleyway that the Gatekeeper and Dominique had set for their pickup.

She started wriggling even harder.

"I do not wish to alarm anyone," Dr. Insano said, reaching up to adjust his goggles with one hand, frowning slightly. "But, via the powers of science, I am detecting Archive heading this way juuust under the speed limit."

"The regular speed limit or-" Hoopster started.

"Which do you think!?" Dr. Insano snapped.

Maddie said: "Mmmphmmphmm!"

Which was gagged and bound for: my boyfriend is going to kick all of your asses.

"What do we do? Where is the Gatekeeper?" Lady DG asked, pulling one of her boomerangs off her belt. She started to tap the control inputs that were worked onto the edge of the curved weapon -- activating small turbines and a-grav generators.

"Uh..." Beta looked down at his feet. "Look down, everyone."

They all looked down. Even Maddie.

The ground beneath them, in about a five meter wide circle, was glowing with a lambent radiation. Tiny motes of pure blackness swirled up out of the eldritch glow, and tiny, jagged cracks started to appear in the fabric of reality under their feet. The cracks spread outwards before Beta could do much more than open his muzzle to swear loudly. They wrapped around his legs, then ran up his whole body. Maddie's eyes were wide and she was desperately shouting something in bound and gagged-ese. But Beta, unfortunately, only knew how to say hello in that esoteric language. Besides, it didn't matter either way.

The darkcaster folded space, punted the four villains and former president through the anti-astral plane, and dumped each of them into a massive throne room made of pure dark-matter. The walls surrounding them shone with the anti-light of a thousand entropic torches, while the ceiling and floor were the dully reflective sheen of etched neutronium. The walls were decorated here and there with crackling green/blue globes of proton-antiproton power cells, with wires of golden cabling slipping along the dark walls, like irradiated veins. Those cables connected to lumps and blisters of sensing equipment and security weaponry, all of them aimed at ensuring this throne room was as secure as it could be.

The centerpiece, though, was the throne itself. Shrouded with a haze of Hawking radiation and the distortion effect of a chained event horizon, the throne was the antithesis of anything comfortable.

Looking at it...

Beta realized why the first action Darkthornn had taken when he first attempted to conquer Earth was to sit down on a sofa.

"Oh fuck," he whispered.

"Hail the empty throne!" A chorus of angelic voices boomed from the darkened corners of the rooms. Shuffling from the shadows, forming like inky blots of pure blackness, came the terrifying ranks of Darkthorn's infamous Paradox Angels. With their plucked wings of obsidian muscle and their twin-bladed omnistaffs, each one bore the destructive potential of a fragment of un-life itself. They moved in shuffling chaos, and yet still managed to arrange themselves into a perfect formation -- shifting aside to create an empty space for Dominique to walk through.

Gone was the pantsuit and efficient Hillary Clinton look.

In its place was the terrifying splendor of a member of the Ur-Court. Black fabric so tight and sheer it looked as if it had been spray painted on, with golden gloves and skull belt buckles, thick boots that came to the thighs, and a coiled hellwhip bouncing against those curved hips. Her face was graced by the flaming, tri-tipped crown that had graced the dark lord's head. At her flank was the Gatekeeper, floating beside her.

"What is going on?" Dr. Insano said.

"I know I shouldn't be shocked someone willingly wearing those goggles would be this slow on the uptake," Dominique said, cooing as she walked towards them. "But I'll spell it out for the good doctor. The four of you are dupes." She reached out with a gloved hand, caressing Maddie's bound chin. "And you are bait my dear Maddie."

Maddie mumbled something through her gag.

"Take it off?" Dominique asked. "And risk you talking me into being one of your best friends?"

Maddie's suggestion involved a lot more face sitting and whipping and was delivered with an angry flash of the eyes and a snarl that was audible through the gag. Beta shifted himself ever so slightly closer to the bound and gagged former president. His throat felt dry, and every step he took closer to her made it sink in just how fucked they were.

"Oh, I'm flattered, but I'll pass," Dominique said, grinning slightly.

"You're the daughter of Darkthornn!" Dr. Insano exclaimed, as if he had just come to that conclusion.

Hoopster leaned slowly over and hissed in his ear. "Noah. Dude."

Dominique rolled her eyes. "Still. The mighty and glorious Lord Darkthornn did instruct me to never betray underlings, even pathetic worms like you." She snapped her fingers and a sudden migraine exploded in Beta's head. He took this as an excuse to stagger closer to Maddie. This proximity just made him more aware of how totally and absolutely fucked they were. Even with their forces shattered and their dark lord dead, the powers of the dread world of Endtymes were nothing to scoff at.

With their darkcasters, they could teleport to anywhere in the universe.

Their legions of Paradox Angels, the surviving Ur-Court members, all of them were enough to make most heroes on Earth need to call for the next tier of heavy hitters up.

Dominique then opened her palms and dropped several glittering beads on the ground. Beta realized with a lurch that those were the micro-explosives that had been implanted in his brain and the brains of his...

Friends was a bit much. Acquaintances was putting it too gently. Co-workers was right out.

In the brains of the people he was chained too against his will.

Yeah, that worked.

"You're free," Dominique said. "Do you still want payment? American dollars might be a bit...passe in the next few hours."

"You can't conquer the Earth with a few legions of Paradox Angels, you and the Gatekeeper," Beta said, trying to sound as confident as he didn't feel. His tail wagged as he stood up taller. The intelligence he felt from Maddie was letting him start to put things together. But not fast enough. Pieces were missing. He felt like he could fucking stop this, if he was just smarter. Maddie looked at him out of the corner of her eye and started to jerk said eye upwards. But Beta couldn't tear his eyes from Dominique.

She was looking right at him -- then smirked slightly. "I never said I would."

The low thrumming sound that filled the throne room set Beta's teeth on edge. Dr. Insano, who had been looking upwards while adjusting his glasses, yelped and then turned and started to sprint as far and as fast as eh could. His storky legs meant he made it out of the door before anyone even noticed. Dominique waved her hand lazily and two Paradox Angels started walking after him. She clearly didn't worry much about the good Doctor. Lady DG and Hoopster were back to back, Hoopster having pulled her most heavy hitting...hoop...

It was just a flaming hula hoop.

She was surrounded by people who regularly used hellwhips as sidearms!

The thrumming sound was getting louder and louder. Maddie was squirming and squirming, making a muffled grunting noise against her gag.

Beta realized what he had to do.

About three seconds too late.

The ceiling of the Singularity Fortress exploded outwards with a sound that defied description. Swirling wind blasted Beta backwards and he smashed against the wall -- all knowledge of how he could fix this scattering with his distance from Maddie. Chunks of neutronium the size of small cars hurtled outwards in the swirling nimbus pattern of a singularitarian bolt strike, while the throbbing purple heart of the attack remained floating above the hall for a few seconds before crackling out of existence. This let the debris it had swirled around fly away, clearing the skies and allow Archive to land at a pretty significant factor of C.

Beta had never seen a pissed off cosmic level hero.

Beta now knew what it was like to see Jehovah before he had had a kid and settled down.

Archive was in his costume and he writhed with energy. Crackling fields of pure white and silver surged from his head to his toes, arcing off his body and bleeding off into the ground. His muscles were taut, like he was tensing every single one at the same time, and his neck veins bulged. His teeth ground. They were what was producing that faint grinding-thrumming noise. The sound of muscles that could lift several billion tons, grinding indestructible molars together. His eyes flared with silver light. His cape snapped and flapped as if he was in a tornado.

"You guys...are fucking jerks," he said.

"Oh, the quips," Dominique said, dryly. "How ever can I withstand such a barbed wit."

"Mmphmm!" Maddie tried to get the word out.

It was shocking how suddenly being significantly dumber made the simpler solution obvious. A few seconds ago -- the memory of knowing as fleeting and frustrating as a dream -- Beta had known how he could have saved the day. But now that he was sprawling on the ground, he knew how he could save the day again. He could save the day by getting Maddie out of her restraints. Kicking himself in the ass he jerked himself to his feet. Archive's hands were clenched tightly as he tried to control himself...

And acted like a hero.

"Let her go," he said. "And I will leave. After the War, the United Nations signed a treat. With the...Endtymes provisional government. Where is the fucking council?"

"Ah, yes, those guys." Dominique smirked. "I decapitated them and put their heads on pain-pikes, like, twenty six years ago. Like the people of Endtymes want democracy."

"It was worth a shot," Archive growled.

Beta had managed to get within a few feet of Maddie before Archive threw the next weaponized black hole. Dominique caught it with her right palm, the swirling sphere of pure annihilation crackling as she closed her fingers around it. Then her other hand whipped the hellwhip free and she snapped it out. The hellwhip smashed into the air above where Archive had stood a nanosecond before. He blurred to the side and shoulder checked a Paradox Angel through the wall, then flipped around, his cape whipping around. His foot connected with a Paradox Angel and the shockwave of the impact knocked Beta off his feet again.

"Gatey!" Dominique barked.

The Gatekeeper pointed his finger at Archive. "You!"

"I never liked your stupid gameshow!" Archive shouted back, then threw an omnistaff directly at the robed, spectral figure. One of the several million aliens living in Archive's head had clearly learned how to program an omnistaff at some point, because it flew out in a capture configuration and the crackling, ionic projection prongs that thrust from the front of the spear closed around the Gatekeeper like a bear-trap for the face. He made a muffled cry and started to flail his arms wildly.

Hoopster, meanwhile, had gotten beside Beta. She was shoving him to his feet. "We are leaving, Bee!"

"No!" Beta shouted. "We have to get her gag off!"

"What!?" Hoopster shouted over the thunderclap barrage of Archive's blows as he sent Paradox Angels flying. A hiss of pure heat shot over their heads as the hellwhip sliced through the air, gathering infernal energy before it wrapped around Archive's wrist. The hero grunted for a half second before Dominique casually twitched the handle of her weapon. The sine wave of motion that rushed along the weapon gathered energy as it rippled through not only this reality, but also every level of the Abyss. When it finally struck Archive, it whipped him upwards fast enough to leave behind a blur of thermal radiation.

Lady DG, meanwhile, was tapping frantically at one of her boomerangs off in the corner. She stood up. Her hands were shaking.

Dominique was looking at her glove, frowning as she saw that one finger-tip had been singed off by the black hole she had caught earlier.

"I'll need a new glove," she muttered.

Beta looked back at Lady DG, who was holding up her boomerang. Her eyes were narrowed to almost slits. Her jaw was clenched.

"No, no, no!" Beta scrambled to his feet.

"You know, I can see you doing that, right?" Dominique asked. "Daddy taught me omnisight before I even crawled out of the Blood Creche."

"I know you can see what I'm doing." Lady DG said, her voice shockingly level. Considering. "I may be a bank robber. I may be a petty crook. I may just throw...boomerangs. But guess what..." She paused. "I lost my parents in '89, you fucking bitch."

It shouldn't have been shocking, considering the casualty figure in the two billions.

But it still somehow was. Beta had known her for years, and she had never mentioned it.

He felt a twinge of guilt.

Lady DG threw the boomerang. It whipped through the air and Dominique moved her head slightly. It shot past her head, whipped pat her, then she caught it from the air on the way back. She shook her head.

"Fucking boomerangs, really?" Dominique asked.

"They're. Not. Boomerangs." Lady DG snarled. Then she stabbed her thumb down on her wrist. The boomerang in Dominique's hand flared with a sudden light and every single boomerang on Lady DG's body detached and soared away from her body at once. Every single one -- all sixty five of them -- rushed towards the thing that Dominique held. The other woman started to ready her hellwhip, but then Lady DG pressed down with her thumb and the flying, curved metal all kicked on their afterburners. The sudden roar of explosions was deafening and Beta was tackled off his feet by Hoopster as shrapnel whined through the air.

Lady DG smirked slightly.

The smoke that roiled around where Dominique had stood split as an omnistaff in monomolecular configuration shot towards her. Lady DG had no time to even blink -- she staggered backwards as the staff sank home.

Into Archive.

"Hi," Archive said, his voice slightly tight, the spear slammed into his gut, the very tip an inch from Lady DG's own belly. "Don't worry. This doesn't hurt...any more than...six percent more than it looks like it does."

Beta rushed forward.

His paws slapped the ground.

Archive jerked the spear out of his gut.

Standing this close to Maddie, Beta realized the danger.

"No!" he shouted.

But again.

Too late.

The omnistaff hadn't just been configured for stabbing. It had been configured for collection. A smirking, slightly singed, Dominique stepped from the roiling smoke cloud left behind by Lady DG's bombs. She snapped her fingers and the omnistaff pulsed with pure white light, stabbing downward into the floor. Nearly invisible circuitry flared to life and channeled the energies of Archive's body into the floor, then towards the throne that had sat empty since 1989, when Lord Darkthornn had been obliterated to the last atom by the heroes of Earth.

Energies both bright and dark arced into the throne. Green witchfire outlined a humanoid figure, crackling and sparking as tiny lightning surges crawled up and popped away like sizzling fat. Darkness pulsed, then filled out with whiteness, then filled out a third time with definition and color and clothing and flesh and eyes. A jarring sensation, like being woken from a dream where you were falling, rushed through Beta. He felt sick -- his belly rose upwards and he put his hand to his muzzle as Archive backed up to stand beside Maddie, who was looking up at the ceiling.

Even through the gag, Maddie projected a nearly physical field of: Told ya so.

The lights and the power faded.

And the Paradox Angels knelt. The Gatekeeper, face still restrained by the omnistaff, knelt.

Dominique knelt.

Lord Darkthornn opened eyes as black as the pits of hell and stood from his throne. His fingers worked and he rolled his shoulders. The grinding of muscle and bone sounded almost like the blaring of instrumentation -- a chorus of agony and terror as the universe itself recoiled from what had been reborn. Beta shook his head slowly as he watched Darkthornn stretch and breathe and walk and live. "This is impossible..." He whispered, softly.

Darkthornn swept his gaze across the kneeling subjects, the cowering enemies, the bound captives. And slowly. He smiled.

His voice did not echo. It did not rumble or boom. It had no effect to it. It was merely the deep voice of a man. But it held the utter confidence of a man who knew, through every molecule of his being, that he was a god. It was that pure confidence, untroubled by doubt, pity, remorse or second thoughts that made him so terrifying.

"A thousand worlds shall sing their praises of this day," he said, his hands sliding behind his back as he stood straighter. "A day where the galaxy once more had a chance at order and perfection. Rise, my children. Rise, my daughter. We have much work to do."

"Hail Lord Darkthornn!" Dominique shouted, thrusting her fist into the air.

"Hail Lord Darkthornn! Hail the Singularity Throne! Hail the Ur-Court!" The Paradox Angels boomed out the words.

"But where is my son? Where is Kalakill?" Darkthornn asked, frowning as he slowly looked across the room, his eyes narrowing. "He was not dead when I was indisposed."

"He...uh...father..." Dominique rubbed her arm.

"I kicked his ass," Archive said, his voice tight. With fear or pain, Beta didn't know.

Darkthornn did not turn his head. Instead, he turned his whole body. It was a bit like watching a battleship swinging around to bring every weapon it had to bear on a single target. His eyes flared as he looked down at Archive -- who had still fallen to one knee. Upon seeing him, Darkthornn chuckled. He twitched his finger and a sudden flare of energies surged above Archive. Space warped and gravity yanked Archive to his feet. Darkthornn's other hand lashed out and grabbed him by the throat. He lifted the hero up and sneered as he looked him over.

"Ahhh..." Darkthornn said, his eyes crackling with...

With...

Beta felt his stomach turn over as he huddled next to Hoopster -- who was quietly hyperventilating.

Darkthornn did not look furious.

He looked amused.

"That is all too natural. For a son to give way...to his father," Darkthornn said, grinning. "I am so glad to see you have accomplished the duty I have set for you...my Archive."