Anger Management

"So, having said all this, what does it mean for your family?" he said, pausing. "I think you have a good chance to put this marriage back on track. I think that Rebecca demonstrated that she had genuine remorse over her actions, even though that demonstration was extremely difficult for your family to handle. I have heard her offer no rationalization or denial of responsibility that would make me think she is trying to excuse what she did.

"Warren, you are a very forgiving man ... perhaps too forgiving. You have been absorbing blows for a long while, and it's time you started to fight back. I don't mean physically, but mentally. You are the head of the family, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it. You are their leader, and it's up to you to determine the path forward just as you did when you learned of Rebecca's mistake. There is no nice easy formula for resolving these kinds of family crises. You are unique individuals, and you have to find what works for all of you.

"As far as Jon is concerned, I think time will heal his wounds. He's in pain, and it isn't easy for him to express just how deeply hurt he was by his mother's actions, but I believe he will come around. Just be patient and don't try and "sell him" on forgiveness. He'll get there when he reconciles his disappointment with his love for you.

"There isn't much more I can say to you. You have been very candid and a great help to me in understanding each of you. I'm optimistic ... but then, that's my job," he smiled.

We thanked him and walked out of his office, hand in hand. I felt he had done what I had wanted him to do. He had dug inside our lives and clarified who we were and why we did what we did. I would forgive Rebecca, even if I wouldn't forget. I loved her and I had no doubt that she loved me.

But I had to change. I had to stop just accepting what happened to me and be more in control of my own destiny. If I could do that in my job, there was no reason I couldn't do it in my family life. The ball was in my court, as they say.

-0-

It's been ten years since that fateful evening that Rebecca confessed her adultery. I haven't forgotten, but it isn't ever-present in my thoughts. Our family has repaired itself, although we are not the same people we were then.

Rebecca has returned to the woman that I so enjoyed in those years after our children were born. It took a while, with a lot of encouragement and support from me and the children, but I have my wife and lover back again, and I am happy.

Jon has found it in his heart to forgive his mother, and their relationship is solid and loving once again. Jon married a very lovely young lady two years ago after he finished college, and they are expecting our first grandchild. Rebecca is walking on air. Since they live nearby, she will no doubt spoil our grandchild just as she spoiled our children.

Marion is still in school and may be for some time yet. She is finishing a degree in Social Work, and has told us that she will likely work towards her Master's. She has won a number of scholarships that have alleviated some of the costs of her education. I wouldn't have denied her the opportunity in any event.

I'm still the sales manager, just as I was ten years ago. There is talk of a new division being set up, and I am in line to become the general manager. I'm pretty proud of that. I know my parents are also proud because they have told me so several times.

I have taken charge of our personal lives in a more active way. Not in some overt, hard-line fashion, but with a little more forcefulness in voicing my opinions and giving direction. I can see Rebecca smiling now and then when she thinks I'm taking myself too seriously. She's never been afraid to argue with me when she thinks I'm wrong, it just isn't the same kind of argument we used to have.

I stop in to see Dr. Sharpe once in a while. He's asked me to call him Ted, and I'm comfortable with that. He enjoys hearing my family updates. He keeps telling me we're the poster family for his practice. Every so often he'll ask me some pointed question that's designed to keep me grounded. It's good to have friends like Ted.

So, that's how we got from there to here. It's been a very up-and-down journey, but I think we're all pretty happy with the way things have turned out. I know I am.