Animum Unum: Becoming SEM Ch. 04

"Well, he must have been if he was able to bring you close to orgasm. Damn. I envy you."

"Please, don't. That man is a monster. I can't believe in two days I'll be marrying him."

She straightened. "Am I invited?"

I gave her a look. "Could you at least feel a little sorry for me?"

She shrugged. "Sorry. I guess I'm just envious of you. Mia, you're going to have a job already after all of this. And, you're going to have a hot husband who, he sounds like, is going to give you hot sex."

"Yeah, and treat me like an insolent child who requires punishment all of the time. I'll have no freedom, no rights... Alex, everything that I have ever worked for is being taken away from me. It's being stolen. My whole life I've searched for independence, an opportunity to be the strong woman I know that I am capable of. I've been through things, Alex. Although I had a privileged life, that doesn't mean that it didn't come without consequence. I don't know what it's like to be by myself. To have freedom to make my own decisions. I thought that becoming SEM would free up that part of me. Test me. Challenge me. Show me a world where I can exist with meaning. A world where I can make it on my own through my self worth. Not some handout. And aside from all of that, I have my future stolen from me. I mean, I don't even get to choose who to love. I won't get to go on dates. Get to know a guy. Fall in love with him. Make love to him for the first time. I wanted that to be passionate. Have meaning when it happened. It's all gone, now. A dream." Tears were streaming down my face and I blotted at them with my sleeve.

Her expression changed. "You're right. I didn't think of it that way. I'm so sorry, Mia." She pulled me into her. "I'm here for you. I'll help you through this the best that I can, okay? You're not alone through this. I'll stop with the jokes, okay?"

I nodded and clung to her. For the first time since I had left home, I felt like someone finally understood me.