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"Asleep? Even Allison?"
"Yep...lights out. I'm pretty sure they're out for the night," I said.
"Good!" she said, looking at Ann in a very strange way. "I'll go check on them, and maybe we can..."
"Dana!" Ann said, staring down her friend.
"It won't hurt to ask him, Ann."
"What if I don't want to," Ann said rather bluntly.
"Come on, Ann...relax," Dana said.
"Don't want to what?" I asked.
Chad sipped his wine and said, "Dana wondered if you wanted to play another board game."
"Sure, why not? It'll be fun."
"Neil..." Ann said, trying to stop me from saying anything. It seemed a bit unusual for her to react the way she was. More to the point, it seemed irrational.
"What? Let's have some fun, babe."
"Yeah Ann...let's have some fun," Dana said with a wicked grin on her face.
"We could play 'Trouble'. I'm not as bad at that as it looked," I said.
Ann laughed and said, "I think 'trouble' is the best way to describe this."
Dana smiled and said, "It won't be that bad, Ann. Relax...have another glass of wine. Talk to Neil about it...I'll be back in a minute." She stepped through the door, and I looked at Ann, puzzled by the moment.
Ann downed her glass and placed it in front of Chad. "You heard her, Chad. Fill it up!" Chad smiled and poured Ann another full glass of wine. As she took another long swig, it dawned on me that I didn't really know what had happened while I was reading to the girls. I watched as Ann took a deep breath and closed her eyes, a sly smile appearing on her face.
I took a gulp of from my own glass and set it in front Chad. It was still half full, and he looked at me with a question mark on his face. "Somehow, I get the feeling I'm going to need more too," I said.
Chad chucked as he filled my glass. Ann kept her eyes closed, but she nodded in agreement. "You can say that again, baby."
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 5 years agoAbsolutely love this story, the drama, the making real the characters, the humour. I have laughed and cried through it.
So well done to you.
A couple of things hopefully to improve your writing.
1:- "Cloth" is whats "clothes" are made from. The repeated use of cloth when talking about clothes is not good in a story of this high quality.
2):- Good, better and best. Or Young younger and youngest.
There is a grammatical difference between better and best. Or young, younger and youngest
When there is only one person/item/article we would say young.
When there are two articles to compare we would say younger.
When there are three or more articles we would say youngest.
No one can be the youngest of two people.
And on a single issue from this chapter, just my personal preference not a biggie. Surely if Neil had have told Ann the reason he didn't wake her to carry on fucking her was coz she looked like an angel, his angel she would not have got hurt. I think it would be closer to Ann's character to "melt", rather than get upset and angry. I see no point in their having an argument. However having been married for 42 years, I have never seen the point, or even a winner, in any of our arguments.
Neil did exactly what she gave him permission to do. He chose what he wanted to do and did that.
You have certainly created a complex character in Ann with many strengths and equally many contradictory weakness, so her reaction you chose while not what I saw coming, is certainly human.
Again this is a wonderfully well written story that I am looking forward to finishing, so thank you.
Anonymousover 14 years agowriting still good, but I can't help the feeling that you, the author, are somewhat stalling over the last few chapters. Wonder why...
Anonymousover 14 years agoI've enjoyed this entire series so far, and this chapter was another fine addition. I'm looking forward to the next installment, what is Ann trying to hide? I'll bet she's doing her room mates, that would explain her willingness to set her fiance up with so many sexual adventures. I'm confused why she feels she needs to hide it, all along she has been saying how nothing of a sexual nature has been going on at the house, yet this game sounds pretty risque. They have been so open about so many things, yet she is so secretive about others, ie this game, her unwillingness to give him a phone number or her address, or even where she works (other than to say in retail) that I have to wonder what things she has been hidding and how they will affect her relationship with her fiance.
Anonymousover 14 years agoOne of my favorite stories of all time. I eagerly wait for the next installment. Keep up the great work!
