Annie Oakley and Buffalo Bill Ch. 01

Part 1 of 2

"Miss Ochs, I realize that there are extenuating circumstances about your situation. Nevertheless, I think you'll agree that your continued employment at Consolidated Oil and Gas would be awkward for you and for your co-workers. Given that, we feel that the best course of action for all concerned would be for you to resign for personal reasons. If you choose to do so, we will, of course, be glad to serve as a reference for you and give you a strong recommendation for your next employer."

As the Human Resources representative spoke to me, I stiffened involuntarily. "I just got fired," I realized, and even though I'd expected it, I felt my eyes begin to tear up. "Don't cry!" I told myself fiercely. "Whatever you do, don't cry!"

After I'd signed the paperwork they'd given me, I slowly made my way back to my cubicle. It took very little time to clean out the few personal items I'd tucked into the drawers and shelves; then I was carrying my pitiful little box down the hall.

I didn't know whether to be sad or relieved that none of my teammates were around to see me off. Truthfully, I was just as glad Jerry wasn't around, but I wish I could have seen Buffalo Bill at least one more time. But I knew where he was and besides, given what he probably thought of me now, maybe it was for the best.

Suddenly a horrible thought crossed my mind: what if I were to encounter Kurt Jorgenson? That terrifying idea caused the tears to begin to flow in earnest, so I bowed my head and hurried as quickly as I could out to my old Toyota to drive to my little apartment.

After I got there, I hurriedly began to pack my things. It didn't take very long; in the few months I'd been in the apartment, I bet I hadn't spent more than a few weeks actually living in the place. You don't accumulate a lot of stuff when you're a field auditor. I'll bet some truck drivers spend more time at home than I had.

Anyway, that was all behind me now.

There was one more task to be done, the one I'd been postponing. "Mom, it's Annie. Mom, is it all right if I come home?" And with that, to my utter embarrassment and dismay, I began to sob.

When I had pulled myself together, I dropped my keys and the current month's rent in the mail to the apartment manager and then set out for Tyler. It's only about 200 miles from Houston to Tyler, but they might as well be a continent apart. Heading north on I-45, I couldn't stop myself from thinking back on all that had happened.

I remembered sitting outside Kurt Jorgenson's office on the first day of my new job. I was simultaneously nervous and excited. Finally, I would get to meet my first boss in my first real job: not a summer job or internship but the real thing, and not with just any company, but with Consolidated Oil and Gas, one of the largest energy companies in the world!

Sure, I'd made top grades at the University of Texas at Tyler, and I'd done even better on the CPA exam. But I still had never thought that I could land a job with a major corporation. I'd been more or less resigned to doing the books for my parent's rose farming business in Tyler. Tyler is the rose capital of the world because of all the rose bushes it produces, and my folks had been rose farmers all their lives.

Even though I was doubtful about my prospects, when I heard that Consolidated was going to be recruiting on campus, I jumped at the chance. Somehow they picked me to come to Houston for a second interview. When they actually offered me a position, I knew that if I didn't accept I'd regret it for the rest of my life. So there I was, ready to start my new job.

Actually, I'd officially already been at work for several days, but they were spent in an orientation program, benefits enrollment and other introductory activities. Now I was ready for my actual work assignment.

I'd assumed that I'd be working somewhere in Consolidated's vast accounting function, so I was a little disappointed to learn that I'd been assigned to the Field Audit team. Accounting is dry enough as it is, but auditing is even further removed from the actual business. Basically, it's just double-checking the work other accountants have already done. But I was in no position to argue, so I dutifully waited outside his office to meet Kurt Jorgenson, one of the directors of Field Auditing and my new boss.

When his secretary ushered me into his office, he arose from behind his desk and directed me to sit in one of the chairs facing him. He was a distinguished-looking man, taller than me, probably in his early forties, with dark hair combed back on his head. While many of the directors I'd seen in the company wore more casual attire, he was dressed in a suit, white shirt and tie. His dress and manner all gave an appearance of authority, even command.

"Miss Ochs," he began when I was seated, "the commodities that we extract, refine and distribute are vital to the economies of many nations around the globe. A shortage in oil or gas can cripple a national economy and topple heads of state. Our financial results are eagerly awaited on major stock exchanges not only for their direct impact but also because they are seen as harbingers of the economic future. As a result, our corporation is closely scrutinized and regulated, and our financial results are carefully reviewed.

"For these reasons, it is essential that every transaction of the company be accurately recorded and consistently reported. Moreover, all transactions must strictly adhere to generally accepted accounting principles and standards of Consolidated Oil and Gas. It is the mission of the Corporate Auditing function to ensure that those standards and procedures are applied consistently and uniformly throughout the corporation.

"You are now part of the team charged with this critical mission. Are you ready to take on this responsibility?"

I gulped. "Oh, yes sir," I told him, "very ready."

"Very good," he said. "I will expect nothing less than excellence from you."

With that, he summoned his secretary and asked her to take me to meet the rest of his audit team. As I followed her, I tried to gather my thoughts. "What an impressive man," I mused. "He made our job sound like the most important role in the company!"

I was still trying to assimilate my interview with Mr. Jorgenson when the secretary led me into a moderate-sized room divided into three cubicles, with a conference table and chairs in the center. She led me over to one of them and introduced me to Jerry Higgins. "Jerry is our accounting systems specialist," she told me.

Jerry looked very familiar to me, not because I'd met him before but because he resembled so many of the mathematics and accounting students I'd met at UT Tyler. He was of average height, but the buttons on his shirt had to strained to hold in his belly. He needed a haircut. "Another math nerd," I thought to myself. Then I smiled inwardly, "Just like me."

I introduced myself to him and asked him about his role on the team. Those were the last words I spoke for the next half hour as Jerry launched into a long, technical description of Consolidated's corporate accounting software. As he droned on, I couldn't help remembering the students like him I'd met back in college, especially Tom. I'd dated Tom for half a semester in my junior year, and had actually given him my virginity because I didn't want to be the only virgin in college. It had been a pretty messy and uncomfortable business, and I was really disappointed to learn that sex wasn't the great thing everybody said it was. After Tom, I didn't really date much.

"So what do you think -- pretty amazing, huh?" Jerry asked. I snapped back to the present and tried to look enthusiastic as I nodded. I had no idea what he'd been talking about.

"Well, I guess I ought to introduce you to Buffalo Bill," Jerry continued.

"Buffalo Bill?" I asked. "Who's that?"

"Oh, that's Bill Hitchcock, the other member of our team. Everybody calls him 'Buffalo Bill,'" he explained.

"Oh, brother," I thought to myself. "What have I gotten myself into?"

When we walked over to the other cubicle, Bill must have heard us coming because he stood up and immediately extended his hand. "Hi, I'm Bill Hitchcock, but everybody calls me Buffalo Bill. What's your name?"

"Hi, I'm Ann Ochs," I told him.

"Where are you from, Ann?" he asked, and when I told him Tyler, Texas, he got a grin on his face. "Hmm," he said, 'Ann Ochs from Texas won't do at all. I'm going to call you 'Annie Oakley.'"

I peered at him carefully to see if he was making fun of me, but his smile was so open and his laughter so infectious that I couldn't help smiling back. The truth was I was secretly pleased. Growing up, the other kids had always called me Orphan Annie, so the new nickname Bill proposed was fine with me.

"Okay, I'll be Annie Oakley if you'll tell me why you're called 'Buffalo Bill,'" I replied with a smile.

"Sure as shootin'," he replied, and I was to learn that was his normal way of agreeing with people.

"Actually," Bill said, "there's not that much of a story behind my name. I went to the University of Colorado, and I got enlisted as one of the handlers for the school mascot, Ralphie the Buffalo. We used to lead him around the stadium for all the football games. Well, one day Ralphie got excited and took off. All the other handlers fell down and lost their grip on their lassos. I was the only one who managed to stay with him, and I've been called Buffalo Bill ever since."

I couldn't help but grin at the image of Bill being dragged around the football field by a real buffalo. But I was feeling anxious about my new job, so I asked him to tell me about his work as an auditor at Consolidated.

As Bill began to talk, I listened carefully, but I also tried to figure him out. If Jerry was the prototypical nerd, my guess was that Bill must have been his college's class president. He was tall – even taller than me -- and good-looking, with a shock of blonde hair and blue eyes. "I'll bet he's broken a lot of hearts," I thought snidely. But I couldn't help feeling a twinge of disappointment when I glanced down and noted the wedding band on his left hand. "Stop that," I told myself sternly, "he wouldn't have been interested in you anyway."

When he finished describing his responsibilities, Bill asked me about myself. "There's really not that much to tell," I answered. "I was born in Tyler, lost my parents and lived in an orphanage for a while. My foster parents took me in when I was thirteen and raised me. They wanted me to stay close when I went to college, so I went to UT Tyler. I started out as a math major, but my Dad convinced me that there weren't many job opportunities, so I switched to accounting. After four years I had my degree and my CPA, and I wound up here."

"You got your degree and passed the CPA exam in four years?" Bill asked. "You must be pretty smart; it usually takes at least four and a half years to do that."

"Well, since I was living at home, it was easy for me to take summer sessions and finish up early," I explained.

"Well, It's lucky for us you did," Bill said. "The Audit Department usually recruits a whole new team at the same time. There was another woman named Betty Murphy who was part of our original team six months ago, but she quit after only a few months. So we've been short-handed until you showed up."

"Why did she leave?" I asked curiously.

"I don't really know," Bill said. "One day she was here and the next day she was gone. I guess she just wasn't happy here."

"Hmmm. So what's it like working at Consolidated?" I asked him.

His eyes twinkled. "Well, the first thing you need to learn is that only the execs call it 'Consolidated.' Everyone else just calls it COG. I guess that makes us just another little cog in the big COG," he said, grinning lopsidedly at his own joke.

I rolled my eyes.

"OK, well what's Mr. Jorgenson like?"

"He's very demanding, something of a perfectionist, really," Bill replied. "But as long as your work is done right and submitted on time, you won't have any problems with him."

"Sort of like my Dad," I thought to myself, "or Professor Hunter back at UT Tyler." The latter thought made me blush a little -- I'd had a crush on Professor Hunter. Nothing had ever happened, but I guess I was attracted to strong, forceful men.

"So what do you think of Houston?" Bill asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

"It's so big," I answered. "It's kind of overwhelming."

Bill looked at me quizzically. "Is this your first time here?"

Now I really did blush. "Yeah, I've really never been much of anywhere besides Tyler. My folks always wanted me to stay close to home."

Bill's face momentarlly reflected his surprise, but he quickly covered it with his infectious smile. "Once you get used to it, I think you'll really like it. It took Denise a little while, but she's coming around now."

"Denise?" I asked.

"Denise is my wife," Bill told me. He swiveled around in his chair and grabbed a picture from his desk. The photo he handed to me showed a lovely young woman at a party. "I bet she was the head cheerleader," I thought to myself. To Bill I said, "She's lovely."

"Thanks," he said. "I sure think so."

"So let me show you your cubicle," Bill went on. "Hey, Jerry, how about helping Annie Oakley get set up on the company intranet?"

And that was my introduction to the audit team. For the first few days I was a little guarded in my conversation with Buffalo Bill because I'd never been very comfortable around the popular kids. But he seemed really open and genuine, and he had a great sense of humor. Jerry was still a nerd, but he seemed to be a pretty nice guy once you got to know him. Only Mr. Jorgenson remained remote and unapproachable.

In addition to working in close quarters, Buffalo Bill, Jerry and I regularly ate lunch together. We were one of a dozen field audit teams, and the company encouraged each team to spend as much work time together as possible to promote a close working relationship. At the same time, we were discouraged from becoming too close to others in the company outside Field Auditing since we would likely have to audit their work sooner or later.

Bill was out running an errand over lunch a few days later, so Jerry and I were eating together at the conference table when he asked me, "So, do you have a date to the company picnic?"

"What company picnic?" I asked in surprise. "I don't know anything about it."

"Well, it's coming up next weekend," Jerry told me. "It's a big deal: the company bigwigs will be there, and we're all expected to go. The company rents a big theme park for the day – it's a lot of fun."

He looked at me slyly. "So, are you coming with your boyfriend?"

I blushed. "I don't have a boyfriend," I told him.

"Good," he said triumphantly. "Why don't you come with me then?"

Alarm bells started going off in my head. I'd sure walked straight into that one.

"Um, Jerry, I don't think that would be a good idea."

Jerry's face darkened. "Sure, I get it," he said nastily, "I'm not good enough for the hot girl."

"Not good enough? Hot girl? What's he talking about?" I asked myself in confusion. But I had to say something, so I babbled, "No, no, that's not it at all. I'm just not dating right now, and besides, it might interfere with our work relationship."

Luckily, at that moment Buffalo Bill came back and sat down with us. Even though Jerry was clearly still unhappy, to my relief there was no further conversation about the picnic or a date.

After lunch, I went back to my desk, but I kept thinking about the awkward situation with Jerry. The truth is that I hadn't had much practice at dealing with advances from guys, and I really didn't know how to handle them. I'd sure made a mess of that!

For that matter, why would he even ask me in the first place? If there was one thing I wasn't, it was a "hot girl." Finally, I decided that Jerry probably didn't date much either, so any female probably looked good to him, even me.

I glanced over at Buffalo Bill's cubicle and saw the picture of his wife. Now there was a hot girl!

When the weekend of the company picnic came, I seriously debated whether or not to go. I wasn't that good in social situations and I wouldn't know anyone except my team mates so I wouldn't have any people with whom to talk. Still, I didn't want to get off on the wrong foot by not showing up for a major company event, so I reluctantly decided to attend.

I'd double-checked with Mr. Jorgenson's secretary, and she assured me that dress for the occasion was very casual. Accordingly, I put on a pair of my old jeans that hid my gawky legs well and my big white Houston Astros jersey. I hoped I'd fit in.

When I drove up to the theme park in my old Toyota, the picnic had already started. The invitation had touted free passes for all the rides, plus plenty of beer and barbecue, and there was already a large crowd on hand. My guess was that on such a hot day the beer would be the primary attraction.

After I showed my company ID badge, the girl at the gate had me fill out a name tag. "Hi, my name is: Ann Ochs" it read, and I dutifully pressed it onto my shirt.

No sooner had I entered the gates than I was accosted by one of the HR executives who'd recruited me to come to COG. It was a good thing he was wearing a name tag because otherwise I wouldn't have remembered his name. Apparently, he couldn't remember my name either, because he kept staring at my name tag.

"Hello, Ms. Ox," he said, mispronouncing my name. A lot of people do that.

"Hello, sir," I responded, "and it's pronounced 'Oaks,' like the trees."

"Right," he said. "So how are you enjoying working for Consolidated, Miss Ox?"

I decided just to ignore the mispronunciation, and he proceeded to engage me in chit-chat about the company. In addition to his questions, which seemed pretty meaningless to me, I also found the conversation awkward because I was several inches taller than him, so he had to keep looking up at me.

That really wasn't all that unusual for me. I got my growth spurt early, and by the time I was a sophomore in high school I was just a few inches short of six feet tall. That made me not only the tallest girl in my class but also taller than most of the boys as well. It's no surprise that I didn't have much of a social life; what boy wants to date a girl who towers over him?

So I got used to having guys look up when they talked to me. Only this guy wasn't looking up – he kept staring at my name tag. At least I think he must have been staring at my name tag; he couldn't have been staring at my boobs, since I hardly have any.

Well, that's not quite true -- they have filled out some since I quit running cross country. I was on the track team in high school and my first two years of college. Between my rapid growth and all that cross-country practice, my chest was hardly distinguishable from those of the boys on the team. Of course, after I sprained my knee and had to drop out of track in my sophomore year at UT Tyler, my chest did begin to fill out a little. But no one is ever going to mistake me for Kim Kardashian, so I could only assume Mr. HR was still trying to figure out how to pronounce my name.

Fortunately, I spotted Mr. Jorgenson walking nearby and used him as an excuse to break off my conversation. "Oh, there's my boss," I said and began to wave. "Mr. Jorgenson," I shouted, "Hi, it's Ann Ochs."

As I neared him, I realized that he was accompanied by a rather formally dressed woman who appeared to be several years older than Mr. Jorgenson. When I came up to him, he said, "Hello, Miss Ochs, I'm glad you were able to come today. I'd like you to meet my wife, Edith."

Turning to the woman, he said, "Edith, I'd like you to meet Ann Ochs, the newest member of my audit team."