Anxious

I just turned twenty-one. I tell you that not because I'm considered old enough to drink now but because that was the date I told my boyfriend, Sam, I wanted to wait until before having sex. I've been denying him real sex for two years now. That's not to say we don't do other stuff. I doubt he would have kept dating me if I didn't do anything. Most the time I suck his dick or use my hand until he cums to satisfy him. He plays with my breasts and I let him finger my pussy and even my little bum hole. We do 69 a lot and he says he loves to eat my pussy and finger me. But up to now his penis has never been inside of me down there. That's all about to change tonight, I'm sure, because my time is up. I'm twenty-one and out of excuses.

I'm a little nervous, but excited at the same time. I mean... I love how his fingers feel when he plays with my clitoris and then penetrates me with one or two of his fingers; even in the ass it feels good. But his fingers are much smaller than his penis. When I suck Sam off his width and length sometimes hurt my mouth. Even when I use my hand I can't touch my big finger and thumb around his middle. He's that wide, so the idea of him putting something that large down there makes me somewhat uneasy.

Of course he told me he would go as slow as possible, so not to hurt me, but even then I have a feeling it's going to hurt regardless. I'm worried I won't go through with it and he'll get mad and possibly do something bad to me. He's a nice guy and all, I've just been denying him so long that I'm afraid of what he'll do if I don't let him. I've considered sucking him really good and making him cum fast so he won't want to or won't be able to have sex but I don't know if that will work. He might not let me finish him off or even if I do, I'm pretty sure he can get hard again rather quickly. Then if he has cum once I've heard it will take longer the second time. Longer inside me isn't something I want, at least not the first time.

It's really a miracle I'm still a virgin at twenty-one in the first place. I guess my talent at blowjobs and handjobs paid off. I've learned to love giving them and apparently it's something that some girls won't do. Which doesn't make sense to me at all. Who wouldn't want to suck on a guy's hard dick? It seems so natural to me. I love the texture in my mouth, the ridges of the head where it meets the shaft. The veins, the pulsing blood I can feel with my lips and tongue. It gets me wet just thinking about it.

Maybe it's the salty taste and thick pre-cum the other girls don't like but I love it. I like to make it as messy as I can and coat his dick with my saliva and his pre stuff. The wetter the better really. I can usually get Sam to cum in less than a minute if I want, but that takes all the fun out of it. I like bringing him close to climax and then delaying it until he's begging to cum. The longer I tease him like that the more he ejaculates. Some days he absolutely covers me in the stuff, which causes problems with my hair and makeup so I've learned to move him to my breasts or try and swallow it all. Swallowing it all is difficult, especially if he is really excited. I don't know about other guys but Sam's quantity is more than I can handle most days.

Anyway, he's coming over to my place any minute and the only thing we have planned tonight is sex. Yep, no dinner, no movie, no nothing, just sex. That's all he wants to do. I guess I can't exactly blame him. We started dating when I was nineteen. He tried to get into my pants on the third date so I had to think fast and distract him before it went too far. Grabbing his hard dick did just the trick. He seemed very content with me stroking it. That's when I learned how big it was, and is kind of the reason I made the twenty-one rule. I didn't think we'd still be together this long. I mean I was only nineteen how was I supposed to know it would last two more years. That third date, when I grabbed his dick for the first time, was the beginning. I knew if I didn't make him cum some way he would want to have sex so I ended up stroking him until he exploded onto his own stomach and chest. That was also the first time I'd seen so much cum before. It just kept spurting out all over him, big long ropes of white cum like squeezing a tube of toothpaste several times until it's empty.

The next date he expected to have sex for sure. I mean the third date he gets a handjob why wouldn't he expect sex? That was when I came up with making him wait until I was twenty-one. He wasn't very happy about that so to make him okay with the idea I sucked him off for the first time. Let's just say I had to wash my hair twice to get all of his semen out of it. I think he came more than the time before. I meant to break it off with him after that, but there was something about him that kept me interested and saying yes when he asked me out again. Now after two years I've fallen madly in love with him and wouldn't want it to end ever. Another reason why I'm worried about tonight. I know I have to go through with it or risk losing him.

The anticipated knock on my door comes. He's here. It's now or never. I open the door to a grinning school boy. He looks so excited it's almost comical.

"Hey, you're early," I say.

"Yeah, I drove fast," he replies.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat first or see a movie?"

"Positive, and you know why, Jill."

"Yeah, two years, yada yada. I know... I'm finally twenty-one; you've been waiting for this day forever. Except it's my birthday... don't I deserve dinner? A present? At least. I mean you're acting like this is your birthday," I say, narrowing my eyes for effect.

"After... we can do whatever you want after."

"Yeah sure, if I can walk... after."

"Oh come on, you're not going to start that again. I promised to go slow, you'll be fine."

"Really? And you know that how? In case you forgot you're fucking huge and look at me I'm five foot nothing and ninety-eight pounds. You'll probably rip me in half."

He didn't respond. He actually looked like he was getting angry. I might have taken my nervousness too far and pissed him off.

"I fucking knew it! I knew you would do this. I hoped you wouldn't but I was wrong," he says, turning to leave.

I hadn't even asked him inside yet. He was still in the hallway of my apartment building.

"No! Wait, Sam. Don't go. I'm sorry. Come in. I'll stop complaining. I promised and a promise is a promise," I say to get him to stop.

He pauses in the hall, slowly turns and walks back. I open the door wide and let him pass into my living room. He stops in the center and turns back to me as I shut the door. He's dressed in his standard jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't even dress up for the occasion. Probably because he wasn't planning on staying dressed for long. I on the other hand had done myself up like prom. Curled my hair, had my nails done, and was even wearing my cutest sundress. The one that is so short if I bend over even a little my butt cheeks show. He loves it, says it drives him nuts to see me in it. It accentuates everything about my body. Even my small breasts seem bigger in it.

"I got all dressed up?" I say coyly.

"Yeah, I notice. You look phenomenal, and you know what that dress does to me."

"I do. That's the reason I wore it. I really want to do this, Sam, I'm just anxious is all. The first time is scary for a girl."

"I know. I don't know how to make you feel more comfortable though. I mean... I can't make my dick smaller. It is what it is. All the shit talk about having a big dick isn't what it's cracked up to be. Most the time it's just annoying and frustrating."

I have to giggle at that, "Bigger isn't better, huh?" I say.

"Not in this case. With you anyway."

I walk over to him, stand on my tippy toes and kiss him. He's almost a foot taller than me so he has to bend over, when I raise up, to kiss me when we are standing. He keeps his arms to his side, instead of wrapping them around me. I know he's still hesitant and mad at me. I decide I have to suck it up and just do this thing.

Taking his hand I pull him toward my bedroom. I let him go, as he steps in, and walk to my bed. Slowly I bend over, putting my hands on my bed and crawl up on it while looking at his reaction over my shoulder. You see, I'm not wearing any panties and my ass and pussy are in full view since the sun dress is so short. His reaction is exactly what I was hoping for. First surprise, followed by a huge grin. I'm pretty sure he's not mad at me anymore.

"You like? I shaved fresh this morning. I'm as smooth as a baby's butt," I say with a smile.

"Me likey very much," he responds.

"See, I've thought about it. It's not like I don't want to, Sam."

"From the look of your lips you've been thinking quite a bit."

"Well, don't just stand there, do something about it."

He takes one giant step to the bed. I'm still kneeling on it with my ass in the air. He grabs my hips, pushing the sundress even further up, over my hips. I watch in anticipation as he lowers his head, licking my spine, down my back. His tongue continues over the crack of my ass, to my apparently wet lips. The rush of pleasure that engulfs me, when he opens me up with his tongue, takes my breath away, leaving me sputtering for air.

He's had a lot of practice eating me, since that's pretty much all I've let him do. So needless to say he knows what gets me going. I push back on his face, wanting his tongue deeper in my slit. He feeds his tongue as deep as he can into my tight virgin hole, making me moan. I lay my head on my pillow, keeping my butt up in the air for him to continue licking.

It doesn't take long before he adds a finger, skillfully bending it right where I like it while licking my tiny asshole. The anticipation of this night has me turned on more than ever before. I'm really hoping that's a good thing and I'll be able to adjust to his girth and length when the time comes.

Whimpering in the pillow he continues to finger and lick both my holes until I scream with my climax. The noise is muffled by the pillow I'm holding onto like a vise but not by much. The contractions cause my hips to fall to the bed, and he is forced to stop. Once I gain some capacity back, I roll over and smile at him. I can feel my nipples pressing out on the dress, he really got me going and by the huge bulge in his jeans I know he liked it as well.

"Wow, I'm really wet," I say.

"Yes, you are," he returns, wiping his face.

My eyes leave his, descending his form to the bulge in his pants. He knows what I'm looking at, it's impossible to hide. I bite my lip; he undoes his top button, then his zipper, letting his jeans fall to the floor. His enormous member is sticking out of the top of his underwear; the head is shiny with pre-cum. Before he pulls them down he removes his shirt. I bite my lip even harder. Remember when I told you there was something about him that kept me saying yes in the beginning. Well one of those things is his looks. He's gorgeous. He looks like an Abercrobmie & Fitch catalogue guy for hell sakes. Perfectly sculpted chest and abs and his piercing eyes melt me when he stares. His blond wavy hair is thick and he always keeps it nice for me. I'm a sucker for a body like his, but I'm not that shallow. I love him for everything else as well, promise.

His shirt hits the ground; he kicks off his shoes, steps out of his pants and climbs on the bed toward me. His tongue travels from my left foot up my entire body to only stop where my dress is waded up on my stomach. Shivers attack my body, causing my nipples to harden once again. He helps me out of the dress, throwing it on the ground with his clothing. Our lips meet, then tongues in a passion filled kiss. He lowers his bottom half on top of mine. His large member presses onto my pubic mound, stimulating my already engorged clitoris. It's so big it feels like a large sausage between our bodies.

After the kiss he nuzzles my neck, sending more chills through my body until his warm mouth envelopes my right nipple, causing me to arch into his penis. He presses down meeting my advances, smashing my clitoris further. I can feel his underwear on my wet lips; I'm probably soaking them with my excitement.

"I'm ready, Sam." I whisper in his ear.

He nibbles on my breast, driving me crazy, but still not moving to remove his underwear. He is taking it slow, almost too slow. By the time he finally uses his left hand to pull his shorts off I'm about ready to scream I want him so bad. He kicks them to the ground and lowers his naked body onto mine. The sensation is totally different, nothing between us but flesh. He's still too high to enter me, but I can feel his hard throbbing member on my pussy and the sensation makes me wild with want.

"Now, Sam, take me now," I say grabbing his hair in my hands.

My legs can't get wider but I do bring them up toward me, hoping that will open me up more. He moves back and I feel the head of his penis slide down over my lips to the bottom of my pussy. Our eye's lock on each other, he moves forward, I feel him spread the lips open and then the pressure begins. He stops, realizing the same thing. My heart rate increases, pounding in my chest as my worry and fears return. It doesn't feel like he can fit, almost like he's in the wrong spot, but I know he's not.

I put on a brave face. Convincing him I'm okay and telling him with my eyes to keep going. He slowly moves forward, the pressure increases, something has to give and I know what will happen when it does. He doesn't move though, doesn't press the last ounce of force needed to enter me. My heart is racing now, my chest heaving. The pressure on my body becomes uncomfortable, I know I have to make the final push; he's too worried about hurting me. But it's inevitable.

Rising slightly I place my hands on his hips, hold my breath and pull him into me. Something pops within my body, followed by a sharp pain; I cry out but silence it quickly. I feel him enter me. The sensation is a fullness I've not experienced. The sharp pain begins to subside and now is just a slight burn. I realize I have shut my eyes and have yet to let the air out of my lungs besides the small yelp. When I open, Sam is staring down at me with major concern on his face. He hasn't moved a muscle since I pulled him into me. He doesn't say a word; the worry in his eyes says everything.

I feel my body trying to adjust to the large shaft, quivering around the foreign object. The pain has become a throb with each beat of my heart. Along with it, is pleasure. My clitoris is still erect, pulsing at the same time as the throb. I don't think his entire penis is inside of me, probably just half of it. He's too freaked out to move either way.

"I'm fine. It's getting better," I say.

"You sure? You don't look fine."

"It had to be done, Sam. Really, it's feeling good," I lie.

It doesn't really hurt anymore; it's just uncomfortable as big as he is. My hands are still on his hips and I notice, when I look down, that I have made deep indentions from my fingernails into his skin. Easing up my grip, I urge him to move, pulling him further inside of me. The fullness increases and I stop him, pushing him back. The movement causes a slight burn to return, as he slides over my damaged hymen. The friction also stimulates my clitoris, blending into pain and pleasure. A very odd sensation, another first. His expression changes as he moves slowly, I can see the pleasure it is causing in his face. I'm hoping it's good enough to get him off quickly.

He begins to move on his own, without any coaxing from me. My hands leave his hips, falling to the bed where I grasp the sheet until my hands hurt. Each thrust is deeper, faster and I go numb. There's an odd buzzing in my head, my body seems strangely buoyant. My eyes blur, making it hard to focus on Sam above me. He's penetrating to deep and it feels like he's going to come out my throat. I don't want to stop him; I can tell he's getting close. He makes the same noises when I'm sucking him.

I lose track of time, or how many times he thrusts in and out. Suddenly he's no longer in me, which is a very strange sensation in of itself. Hot cum splatters my stomach all the way to my breasts as he strokes his shiny member over my body. It's then I notice what's making his penis shiny, it's a mixture of my vaginal fluid and blood, making his head and shaft pinkish. He tries to hide it but it's too late, I know he's damaged me, but how bad?

The throbbing hasn't gone away, even with his member out of me, if anything it's increased since nothings stimulating my clitoris now. The worry returns to his face. I can't move because I'm covered in cum, and I hurt.

Smiling up at him I say, "Go get me a towel to clean up, sweetie."

He half smiles back, but doesn't hide his worry. His eyes train down my body and when they fall between my legs he looks horrified. Before I can comment he jumps of the bed and practically runs out of the room, returning quickly with a towel. Instead of cleaning off the semen he presses the towel on my pussy, like he's trying to stop something.

"You're bleeding pretty badly. It's all over the bed," he says.

The ache is getting worse. I'm confident I won't be able to walk to the bathroom. I'm afraid to even move for fear of shaper pain.

"Can you run some water for a bath and come back and carry me?" I ask.

"Sure, good idea," he says, hurrying back out of my room.

I hold the towel in place, afraid to do much more than that. I hear the water running. The semen is cooling off, making me chill and shiver. It looks like it was a good thing we didn't plan anything other than sex tonight. I'm not going to be up for anything else... maybe for a day or two.

Sam rushes back into the room. He hasn't bothered putting any clothing on. His penis has fallen soft again and I can see the dried cracked blood mixture coating his penis. The thought of what it might have done to me makes me nauseous and I take deep breaths to calm myself. My insides are throbbing and I'm really looking forward to the warm soothing water.

"Okay, I got the water running. I will just be a minute or two."

I smile up at him. He looks like a frightened little boy, but his concern shows me that he really loves me. I know I'm going to be fine, sore yes, but eventually just fine. Hopefully in the near future I'll grow to love the size of his dick, just not today.

The End