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Click hereThey finished undressing each other and Veronica, lay back on the bed and extended her arms to Ashley. Ashley lay on her side next to Veronica, caressed her breasts, then her stomach then moved her hand down to her pussy.
"You have a nice touch Ashley."
"I know, probably not as nice as Scott's but you still like it, don't you?"
"Yes, honey, I always have. Now use your nice tongue too."
Ashley began to lick Veronica's slit, using her fingers to open the folds and ran her tongue all the way up and down from asshole to clit. Then she began to suck her clit and massage it with her tongue.
"That feels so good sweetheart, put your finger in me and make me cum."
"Yes, yes, that's it keep sucking, good good, ahh honey." She began to buck her hips almost knocking Ashley off, took several deep breaths and let out a big sigh. "Oh, honey, that was nice. Come up here, kiss me and let's snuggle."
Ashley moved up, kissed Veronica deeply and when they broke the kiss, Veronica said, "Scott says I taste good, I think I do, don't you?"
"Yes, do I. Do you like the way I taste?" Ashley asked.
"As sweet as me Ashley, as sweet as me. Stay here tonight."
Veronica calling him "handsome" all the time is beginning to make me think she can't remember his name.
Was going to read Chapter #5 but read the preface and went to #1. Absolutely Outstanding! Very Hot!
...I would simply say that there's no reason a fantasy story can't also include realistic dialogue and realistic behavior. Like you said, the vast majority of the stories on this website are merely fantasies. Still, many of them contain realistic dialogue and realistic behaviors and this only increases the "hot" factor of those fantasies. There's no down side to realism and there's all sorts of downside to poor dialogue and silly, unrealistic behavior. It's never a good thing if the reader is rolling his eyes and otherwise being distracted from the story due to poor dialogue and silly scenarios.<p>
Bottom line, a hot fantasy story and great dialogue with realistic scenarios are in no way mutually exclusive. In fact it's just the opposite.<p>
I love this story anyway though and with each chapter the author is including less and less horrible patter. Like he's said before he really could use an editor but that's just details. The most difficult thing is to come up with a good story. The second most difficult thing is to write it in such a way as to keep it enjoyable and hopefully even compelling. Despite the obvious writing errors and all the other flaws of dialogue and scene setting Reindeer has accomplished these two most important things. He's written a fun and interesting story. I know I'll keep following it, and in the end isn't that one of the best things anyone can say about a story?