Apollo 69

Just a little parody I did for fun.

Day of launch April 11 – NASA Mission Control Center, Houston

"Looks like Mr. Kranz has pulled out the old needle and thread again," some of the flight controllers muttered, as a large white package landed on the flight director's desk.

"The last one looks like she'd bought it from a gypsy."

"Ah well you can't argue with tradition."

"This is from your husband, Jeannie."

"Oh thanks, I was starting to get worried!" Jeannie Kranz opened the box and held up a white vest.

"I like that one, Jeannie. Sharp!" The CAPCOMs muttered.

She donned the white vest and buttoned it up, but as usual, was unable to fasten the top three buttons due to her impressive pert E-cup breasts.

"Damn, he made it too small and too tight again..." Jeannie muttered. "Oh well."

There were cheers and wolf whistles erupting in the control room.

"Very sharp!" Andy one of the CAPCOM guys yelled. "Damn, Jeannie you look hotter than ever." He often fantasized about boning the stunning flight director, who always made a point of wearing very smart, tight leather trousers at work – which showed off her luscious ass and hips perfectly. Jeannie had a short blonde bob with shaved sides – a bizarre edgy style that suited her so much, and drove him crazy...he was getting hot, and uncomfortable in his pants already.

"Save it for splashdown," Jeannie shouted, interrupting his fantasy. It was time to get back to work. "Apollo 13 Flight Controllers – listen up. Give me a go/no go for launch! Booster!"

"Go flight!"

One by one, the various other controllers gave a go for launch.

The mighty Saturn V blasted off, with three brave female astronauts on board – Lunar Module Pilot Frederica Haise, Commander Jane Lovell and Command Module Pilot Jacqui Swigert. The crew were destined for the Moon's Fra Mauro crater, part of the surrounding Fra Mauro formation, being located to the northeast of Mare Cognitum and southeast of Mare Insularum.

Of the three crew, Jacqui Swigert was the only single astronaut – Frederica and Jane being happily married wives with kids. Rumours abounded that Jacqui was the kind of girl who had a guy in every port. Originally part of the backup crew for the mission, she was assigned to the mission three days before launch, replacing another female astronaut called Kate Mattingly. The prime crew had been exposed to German measles and, because Mattingly had no immunity to the disease, NASA did not want to risk her falling ill during critical phases of the flight.

"Our gimbals are good, our trim is good!" Jane said, as they continued to climb upwards into the exosphere. "Looks like we just had our glitch for this mission." she added, referring to the Saturn's centre-engine cutting off early.

"Thirteen, this is Houston. The predicted cut-off is twelve plus three four. Over."

"Coming up on twelve minutes thirty four. And..."

"SECO!"

"Shut down!" Jane grinned. "And that ladies, is how we do that!"

The next stage of the mission was the crucial transposition and docking procedure. Jacqui pitched the command module Odyssey round to line up with Aquarius, the lunar module.

With Jacqui piloting the CSM, Frederica Haise promptly threw up.

"You okay Freddi?" Jane asked. "You know Frank Borman was up chucking most of the way to the Moon on Apollo 8."

"I'm ok," Frederica groaned. "I just swallowed too much semen this morning. Let's get to work."

"Ok, I'm pitching up," Jacqui said. "Pitch rate 2.5 degrees per second. Thrusting forward. One hundred feet."

Odyssey inched closer to the waiting Aquarius. "Come on baby," Jacqui thought, urging the CSM closer. Stick that hard probe into that eager little LM's hole...you know she wants it...ooh yeah. Aquarius is begging for a hard docking..."

"Come on rookie, park that thing!"

"Ten feet...captured! Talk back is barber poled." Jane said.

"Go ahead and retract."

"Houston, we have hard dock," Jacqui smiled, feeling a little aroused.

CAPCOM responded, "We copy that, Thirteen. Now you're off to the Fra Mauro Highlands."

"Man, I gotta get out of this suit," Jacqui groaned, unfastening the harness.

"Houston, we are ready for the beginning of the PTC (Passive Thermal Control) and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jacqui and I will eat."

"Hey I'm hungry!" Frederica interrupted.

"You sure?"

"I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros." Frederica smiled.

"Uh, can't manage that." Jane said. "Would you settle for a bacon sandwich?"

"What kind of bacon? Smoked? Streaky?"

"Kevin Bacon."

"Sure!"

Back in Mission Control, Jeannie Kranz congratulated her team.

"Ok guys. We're goin' to the Moon!" So much for the naysayers who'd been worried about 13 being an unlucky mission. She leaned over the console, giving the guys on the row in front a terrific view of her cleavage, due to her unbuttoned vest and low-cut top underneath.

"Gee, I'd sure like to stick my rocket between those Fra Mauro Highlands," the Flight Surgeon muttered, eagerly lighting a cigar.

The mission had been going perfectly, but disaster struck on April 13, when a routine stir of the cyro tanks caused oxygen tank no.2 to explode, causing serious damage to the service module. Houston was informed that there was a problem. In the hours that followed in face of mortal danger, mission controllers were pushed to the limit to devise a way to get the crew back safely. With the Moon landing aborted, Aquarius found a new use as a lifeboat. But with the temperature plummeting due to non-vital systems on Odyssey shut down, the crew needed a way to keep their spirits up – fast.

Jane and Jacqui floated into the LM. "It's too damn cold in the Odyssey," they muttered to Frederica.

"Girls, we gotta keep warm in here. Jacqui and I have been talking and we think that the best way to do that is to have a threesome."

"Are we on VOX?" Frederica said anxiously.

"No."

"Ok then. Well I can go along with that," she smiled. "But is there room?"

"Yeah as you can see the Aquarius is only as big as a couple of telephone booths."

"Er... well, you see the physics of it — sex in microgravity, I mean — it can be difficult", said Jacqui, taking over, as if she was an expert in space sex.

"So", Jane gulped and continued, "We reckon the easiest way to do this is for one of us to hold you and anchor you to a surface, while the other one... well, you know."

Frederica nodded nervously. She needed the commander to stop talking and to get this started, before she changed her mind. "Jane, kiss me", she panted hungrily.

After a moment of hesitation, Jane pushed herself across the lunar module's cabin. Frederica braced herself for the impact against her. They turned and twisted around each other, holding onto a handle above their heads. Frederica placed her free hand on Jane's chest. Their eyes locked, and they kissed slowly and beautifully. Frederica wrapped her legs around Jane's waist so that they didn't move apart. She closed her eyes and kissed her crewmate again.

Frederica broke away from Jane's warm lips, and unzipped her spacesuit, yanking off her bio-med sensors and underwear. Microgravity seemed to make her breasts perkier than ever. A shiver went through her, and her nipples stiffened, but not due to the frigid temperature inside the Aquarius.

Fully nude, Frederica took hold of the handle again, and her outstretched arm pulled her breasts even higher. She beckoned Jane back to her, and they were soon kissing once more, her hands engulfing her breasts, massaging them.

Soon Jane did the same and removed the restrictive garments.

"I just lost Haise and Lovell!" The Flight Surgeon exclaimed, as the astronauts' medical data vanished from his console screen, prompting Mission Control to contact the crew urgently.

"Yeah...I'm not wearing my bio-med sensors, Houston," Jane replied breathlessly.

"Ok...um, Roger that," the Flight Surgeon replied, but Jeannie Kranz was amused. "It's just a little medical mutiny doc, I'm sure the girls are still with us! Let's cut them some slack, ok?"

Frederica's arousal surged from deep within her body. She pulled herself away from Jane's lips to gulp down a breath. The air quality in Aquarius didn't seem that good, but it wasn't unbearable. She kissed Jane's neck, and her skin tickled with static electricity. She moved to her left nipple and began to suckle on it.

She looked up to see Jacqui smiling at her from across the cabin. She had unzipped her flight suit to the waist, but hadn't stripped any further. Frederica beckoned her by cupping her right breast.

"Mmm, oh Houston, we got a loud bang...and a wicked shimmie up here!" Jane purred.

Back in Mission Control, Jeannie Kranz was bemused by the crew's comments. "Those girls talking about bangs and shimmies up there doesn't sound like instrumentation to me – sounds more like foreplay!"

Jacqui needed no persuading as she slid out of her suit and towards the wall beside Jane. The two women suckled greedily at their LM pilot's breasts. Frederica threw her head back, and pushed her chest into their waiting mouths. Her body quaked with arousal, and she emitted a deep, audible sigh of pleasure. As Frederica held her legs open between her crewmates, displaying her exposed sex, she knew that she was hot and wet.

Jacqui kissed down her belly, through Frederica's tuft of hair, and over the head of her valley. Warm sensations rippled back and forth through the LM pilot's body. When Jacqui's lips reached the top of Frederica's pussy, she quivered in Jane's arms. Jacqui skilfully licked all around and Frederica met each kiss with trembling.

It was true that Jacqui Swigert had sucked a lot of cock. Seemed that she had licked quite a lot of clit as well.

It was difficult for Frederica to describe how it felt to float naked in microgravity between her two crewmates, as they held her and gave her pleasure.

"Well now, I have an idea." Jane said, glancing round the cabin and floating up through the tunnel that connected the Aquarius to the Odyssey. She returned with a frozen sausage in a plastic wrapper. Thanks to the frigid temperature in the spacecraft, the sausage was frozen so hard it may have well have been made of rock. Jane tapped it against the side of the cabin.

"Let's find another use for this," she grinned as Jacqui looked on.

"Oh God...you're not serious?"

Frederica winced as Jane teased her sensitive clit with the icy-cold food item, before plunging it deep inside her velvet pie.

"Shit!" Frederica yelled, her head bumping the side of the LM's cabin. Remembering that it was only as thick as a couple of tinfoil sheets in places, she quickly steadied herself. It was hard to think clearly when a freezing-cold edible dildo was being thrust inside your slit. Come to think of it, it was getting hard to breathe too.

"Oh it's too bad we can't demonstrate this on TV," Jane grinned, loving the expression on her crewmate's face. "Payback for all those times you kept pressing on that cabin repress valve!"

"Ohh...ahhh!" Frederica moaned as the sausage – and the tongues of her crewmates brought her to orgasm.

The crippled spacecraft passed behind the Moon, and entered radio blackout. As darkness descended throughout the cabin of Aquarius, Jane switched on a light and nodded to Jacqui to fetch something.

"Ok, we're well and truly alone up here, so it's time to meet Buzz Aldrin," Jane whispered as Jacqui handed her a pink vibrator.

"Huh? Oh God! How did you know I'd smuggled that on board?" Frederica cringed.

"Hey, you never travel alone without your pocket rocket, right? He's always there to give you a...well, a buzz!"

Jan switched on the toy and a low humming sound filled the cabin, followed by loud screams as Frederica experienced a second orgasm.

A few minutes later, after she'd got her breath back, Frederica shouted "Hey look," and the three women turned to look out of the triangular window.

"Look it's Fra Mauro. I can see our landing site!"

"Wow. Look at the Tsiolkovsky crater. I can't believe how bright the ejecta blanket is," Jacqui added.

"It's like snow... It's beautiful... That's Mare Imbrium to the north. Gotta tell you, I had an itch to take this baby down though, and do some prospecting. Damn we were close."

Jane was getting pissed off at her sex games being interrupted. "Ladies what are your intentions? I'd like to experience an orgasm. We got a burn coming up. We're gonna need a contingency if we lose comm with Houston. Freddi, let's get an idea where we stand on the consumables. Jacqui, get into the Odyssey and bag up all the water you can before it freezes in there... Let's finish our fun with Buzz and then go home."

Jacqui and Frederica looked at each other and nodded. "Absolutely!"

They all engaged in a passionate embrace as their spacecraft embarked on the final stage of its difficult journey back to Earth. Due to things getting a little too passionate in Aquarius, several course correction burns were needed to put them on the correct trajectory for re-entry.

In-between all of this, a dangerous buildup of CO2 occurred in Aquarius. Complicating things was the fact that the LM filters had round cartridges but the ones for Odyssey were square. The three astronauts were able to Magycver a device made out of most of the bondage equipment Jane had smuggled on board and make a working CO2 filter.

"Jane, we're ready for SM jettison!"

"All right, Jacqui. On 3...2...1... Upward thrust!"

"We're loose! We have SM jettison."

"Whoa look at the state of that," Frederica gasped as they caught their first glimpse of the damaged SM. One whole side of the spacecraft was missing. Right by the high-gain antenna a whole panel was blown out, right up to the heatshield. It looked like the engine bell had been hit too.

"Oh man, that's incredible!" Frederica continued. "Jacqui are you sure it was a cryo tank stir that caused that? Because I know you were masturbating in the CM before the explosion occurred and I know how explosive your climax can be."

"Hey! All I did was stir those tanks. This is NOT my fault!"

When it came time for the LM jettison no-one was sadder than Frederica. "She sure was a good ship," she sniffed as they watched the spacecraft floating away forever.

"We had some good orgasms in that ship. Farewell Aquarius, and we thank you."

It was time for re-entry. "Ladies it has been a privilege flying with...and having sex with you." Jane said as they strapped themselves in and prayed that the heat shield hadn't been damaged. The little cone-shaped capsule hurtled back through the fiery plasma of Earth's upper atmosphere; the intense heat melting the ice on the windows and on the instrument panel.

Odyssey and its crew made it safely back to Earth despite a longer than expected blackout.

Epilogue

Our mission was deemed a successful failure, in that all the crew had experienced orgasms whilst on board but they hadn't landed on the Moon. In the weeks that followed it was that a damaged coil built inside the oxygen tank sparked during our cryo stir and caused the explosion that crippled the Odyssey. It was a minor defect that occurred two years before I was even named the flight's commander. Frederica Haise was going back to the Moon on Apollo 18, but her mission was cancelled because of the budget cuts, she never had sex in space again. Nor did Jacqui Swigert. Who left the astronaut corps and was elected to Congress from the state of Colorado, but she died of cancer before she was able to take office. Kate Mattingly orbited the Moon as Command Module Pilot of Apollo 16, filmed a porno in space and flew the space shuttle whilst naked, having never gotten the measles.

Jeannie Kranz retired as director of flight operations just not long ago. And many other members of Mission Control have gone onto other things, but some are still there, trying to get laid. And as for me, the seven extraordinary days of Apollo 13 were my only bit of lust in space. I watched men wank on the Moon and return safely, all from the confines of Mission Control and our house in Houston. I sometimes catch myself looking up at the Moon, remembering the changes of fortune in our long voyage, thinking of the thousands of people who worked to bring the three of us home. I look up at the Moon, and wonder when will we be going back and who will I be having sex with.

The End