April Can Be So Foolish

A quick shower, some light make-up and comfortable traveling clothes took up most of the time before Nicki's expected arrival. That left just enough time to make some coffee for the road and put together snacks before the doorbell sounded.

Hurrying to the door, April refused to allow any of those dark feelings of unease to take foothold and the smile she greeted Nicki with was born of genuine happiness to see her. "Right on time," April said as Nicki came into the house.

"A curse, I think. Too many years of needing to be at the shop to make sure the day gets started off on the right foot," Nicki said with mock loathing.

"Well, no work today," April said lightly.

"Yep, and I'm ready for it. Just wish it was a three day weekend," Nicki replied.

"Well, we don't have to push it and try to do everything this time. Let's just do what feels good and say the only thing we really need to accomplish today is to get to the cabin," April said.

"I like that idea...I like that a lot," Nicki agreed.

What went unsaid, were the thoughts about last night and Nicki's stolen kiss. They had both had their own dreams last night, and each had resolved to just not say anything and pretend it had never happened. Of course it was all a pretense, because both of them had relived the moment many times at this point. But unsaid, didn't mean unremembered and it didn't mean unwanted or unliked. Unsaid was just easier and felt safer at the moment.

Nicki grabbed April's bags and headed to the truck, and April hurried back to the kitchen to gather the coffee thermos and snacks. So within fifteen minutes the two tentative lovers were on their way south. For April, it was all unexplored territory a relatively short way down Hwy 101. It was hard to not be excited and try to take in all the new scenery. The sea carved lava flows were like giant sculptures to April's artistic eye. It was amazing to be in such a natural environment, and yet still close to civilization. For Nicki, the scenery and road were virtually committed to memory, but she too was excited...and the source of that was seated on the other seat, separated by a center console that Nicki absently wondered what kind of idiot would invent such a thing that would separate two lovers. Perhaps that stupid chunk of plastic was the perfect metaphor for her life, she mused in silence.

Nicki was a good tour guide and explained a lot about the history and ecosystem along the way. Around lunch time, Nicki turned off the highway at Otter Rock and stopped at the Devil's Punchbowl Natural Area for lunch. April had seen photos of this natural phenomena, but seeing it in person was more than she had imagined it would be. The wildlife and birds and fresh ocean air were like knives cutting the bindings of tension she had lived under for so many years. She wished she could be one of the birds soaring in the clear clean sky, following the invisible air currents as they sailed without effort on their daily routine of life. Oh to be so free, she mused.

Nicki and April ate their lunch with a warm sun shining on them. After the quick picnic, they spent another half an hour walking some of the trails and finding new vantage points to view the unique coastal sculptures and oddities.

"Well babe, we're still only about halfway to our cabin...so if we want to sleep in a bed tonight and not the truck, we better hit the road," Nicki said as the two walked hand in hand along the trail.

"You're the boss," April replied, with a smile as she noted again that Nicki had started calling her a pet name. She liked being called someone's babe. In fact, it felt very good to be someone's babe. Not only had she never experience sexual intimacy with anyone, April had never had a lover. How the obstacles had been so arranged to prevent such a natural part of life, no one could begin to explain.

*****

The remaining warm coffee came in handy around mid afternoon when they both needed a little pick-me-up, and a pee break. Pulling off into another of the never ending view points, they got out and stretched their legs. This particular spot had an easy trail down to the beach, and again hand in hand they went down to explore, sipping warm coffee as they walked.

Nicki wanted desperately to talk about last night and the kiss. But she didn't want to risk spoiling the wonderful day. She realized that despite all of the years wishing for the right girl to come along, she really knew very little about how to make that happen. She sometimes felt awkward and clumsy in her desires. This was all so different than the lust driven relationships of her younger days. But at thirty six, she no longer had those urgent needs of youthful discovery...nor the questions and doubts. Her mother had always told her it will all work out, and she had been right. But right or wrong, Nicki had no choice in how she felt and who she was attracted to. She used to ask herself; What if she could go back and be straight, would she? This was one of those conversations she had with herself that could never be resolved. But at some point long ago she stopped trying to figure that question out. She realized she was happy to be free like everyone else just the way she was, and wouldn't change if she could.

April had lingered beside another tide pool, and Nicki watched as she gracefully hopped from rock to rock like a teenager. He lithe body was so unlike Nicki's. April was only a few years younger than Nicki, but she moved around like a twenty year old. Nicki had a natural classic beauty, and the years of exercise and weight training had sculpted and strengthened her. She sometimes wished for smaller breasts, but refused the idea of surgeries to become something she wasn't. The truth was, the breasts were not really overly large, and they accentuated her feminine beauty perfectly. Her style of dress was often dictated by the setting of her work. That had also dictated a more practical hairstyle. She had never been interested in men, but she didn't try to hide the natural feminine attractiveness she had inherited from her mother. When she went out with friends, she appeared to be just what she was; An attractive, confident and active business woman.

Nicki worked her way to intercept April, who had obviously become engrossed and would spend all day here. Finally close enough to call out she shouted, "Hey you! We better get going!"

April heard and pointed to a place where they could meet back easily, and soon the two were back in the truck.

"I see what you mean about too much to see and do," April said excitedly. "It feels like we're just flying by all this amazing stuff! I'm so thankful you brought me out like this. I haven't felt so free and wonderful in...I can't remember when I've ever felt this free."

"Baby, I've lived a lifetime of this, and there's still so many places on my list to go and see...I know I'll never see it all," Nicki replied.

"We should try though," April said.

"Yep, I think you're right on that one," Nicki agreed, and spent the next few miles trying to dissect those words...we should try. Finally, she chided herself and told herself to stop reading too much into words...just a good way to get burned.

There were a couple of must see stops after that, but the day was getting late so most of the sights were put on the to do list for another time.

In the lulls in conversation, they both nursed the ideas of more trips of exploration like this. For Nicki, she realized that a major reason she hadn't traveled more was the fact of being alone. With no one to share this with, the enjoyment wasn't as readily found. But with April along, she could outline uncountable trips to make...and those thoughts naturally drifted to how they would spend the nights...or the many nude hot springs. Maybe she should buy a camper for her truck, she mused.

In April's thoughts, there was also a sense of how Nicki made such trips more of a reality than a daydream. She knew she could never organize or pull off more than short day trips. But Nicki gave her a confidence she never felt alone...or with any other person for that matter. She loved nature though, and longed for more of it. She realized quite some time ago that she was not suited for crowds and cites and all of the confrontations of life. But nature made her feel strong and alive like nothing else ever could. But unlike Nicki, April's secret was always a weight dragging down her hopes. And the secrets were always interfering with living a life true to herself. For as long as she could remember, it had been this way. And the pot at the end of the rainbow still seemed so far away...maybe an impossible distance. As she watched the ocean from her side window, April allowed herself a small indulgence and dreamed about what if. What if I was finished, we would sleep together tonight...I know we would. And I could open myself for her...and she would kiss my pussy...and I would kiss hers. It was a fun little luxury she allowed herself, knowing there would be a bitter aftertaste when she stopped dreaming.

*****

After a while of silence, Nicki decided to ask a question she had been wondering about, "You know, I just realized I don't know anything about your past. Were you ever married?"

Her laugh came so natural and spontaneously that April hadn't had a chance to filter it, "Heavens no. You probably won't believe this, but I've never had a serious relationship at all."

"You're right, I don't believe anyone as pretty as you are hasn't had a lot of guys to pick from," Nicki said truthfully.

"Swear on a stack of Bible's," April said.

"How is that possible," Nicki asked mostly to herself.

April felt obligated to answered the hypothetical question, but obviously not in the fullness of truth, "I was a confused teenager, I guess. I was awkward and shy, for another. And in college it just seemed I was too busy trying to keep up and get my degrees. So, I'm totally a weirdo!"

Nicki had to believe her sincerity, but still couldn't wrap her head around it. She just said, "Well you're a pretty weirdo, and a really sweet weirdo...and I guess I'm kind of a weirdo too, when I think about it."

"Isn't there some saying about there being a weirdo for everyone, or something like that," April teased.

"I think I did read that somewhere once," Nicki replied with a smile as she looked at the pretty weirdo sitting next to her.

Nicki was dying to ask if she had ever had sex, but figured that was too personal. But if she had, it mustn't have been much. At each turn this woman became more mysterious to Nicki. She wondered if maybe it was she herself that was a small town country bumpkin...but she had kicked up her heals in Portland and Seattle enough to know she was more aware than that. Still, this was a new one for her. Of course, most of her own relationships were with other young girls as wild as she had been. Finally kicking off the chains of society can be a great experience, but it came with a certain lack of discipline and discretion, she had come to admit.

"Well, now I feel like I know less about you than before I asked the question," Nicki teased.

"I'm pretty sure you're kinda complicated too," April teased back. But in her case, she also had the need to hold up her shield of privacy. She hated it, and it felt so wrong...but there was no choice. How would it feel to be free like everyone else, she wondered. To not have this secret that wouldn't go away. She didn't know, it had been with her as long as she could remember.

Thankfully, they were coming into Florence and the conversation shifted to deciding about dinner.

****

Nicki had already decided to take her to the Waterfront Restaurant, there were a few other good places to eat but the old waterfront district had a nice feel to it. As they strolled down Bay Street the smell of salt water and fishing boats was in the air. Happy tourists and locals filled the sidewalks. It was a nice change of scenery and they couldn't resist poking around in some of the artisan shops. At one such shop, Nicki took the opportunity to slip away and buy April a very pretty hand crafted necklace by a well known local artist. She would give it to her later as a surprise and remembrance of their trip.

Finally making it to the restaurant, they were very pleased to be seated at a window seat overlooking the bay. To Nicki, it seemed to be an omen that this was destined to be a romantic adventure. Everything so far had been perfect and she was delighted at the change in April's spirits. She still didn't know what it was that lingered in the background of her life, but she was resolved to try and help make it go away. Nicki knew she was getting ahead of herself and letting her own desires paint an imaginary future...but she wanted to indulge that because she hadn't realized how unsatisfied her own existence had become until April came along. She knew it was a long shot, but at the moment she needed a fantasy to hope in.

The dinner was wonderful, and the casual atmosphere made them both feel at home in their informal travel clothes. As they shared one last glass of wine, April said in a dreamy way, "This is what I was hoping for when I moved out here." Then looking at Nicki with a soft affection painted on her face she added, "And without you, I doubt that I would have ever found it."

"Well, I've been in this town and even in this restaurant more times than I can recall, but I've never had as enjoyable a time as being here with you. I have to warn you again, I'm one hundred percent lesbian and even if you're as straight as the proverbial arrow, I'm becoming very comfortable being with you," Nicki replied softly.

April responded by reaching across the table and squeezing Nicki's hand. She was afraid to utter any words for fear the dam of desire she held back within herself would burst and everything would be washed away in the truth. But the touch was enough to say all that was needed at the moment. It was flirting with danger, and indeed that touch did say what words had not.

Nicki fished the little box from the pocket of her jacket and held out to April saying, "I saw this and thought it would look better on you than in the jewelry case...it seemed so lonely there waiting for someone to rescue it."

April's shock was real, and so was her gasp of surprised delight! No one had ever given her something so meaningful in her life. The shocked and happy expression on her face was worth more to Nicki than money could buy, and April's happiness caused her own joy to soar higher.

"When did you buy that," April exclaimed, wondering how Nicki had managed to slip away long enough to surprise her like this.

"Oh, in that one nice shop where almost everything was so nice...you know, the one where they used coral to display the jewelry. It was easy, you were so focused on all of the treasures I just slipped away for a couple of minutes. I just wanted to get it...maybe a memento of a lovely day," Nicki said as she got up to help April fasten the necklace around her graceful neck.

On the way out, when April tried to pay for the meal, Nicki wouldn't allow it. April demured, since the experience of having a strong woman lead the way like this was a new and exciting feeling...a fantasy she had only lived in her mind up until now. She just said simply, "You're the boss."

Those two simple words sent an unexpected thrill coursing through Nicki's body! That the thrill seemed to become focused between her legs, wasn't a new feeling for Nicki...but she certainly acknowledged it and enjoyed it. If this tender lady wasn't so inexperienced...no, best not go there she told herself as she put her credit card back into her wallet. Nicki did, however, take possession of April's hand as they walked back to the truck. She took the long way and led her around the docks casually looking at the many different boats harbored there. The afternoon was waining, and the calm spring evening could have been the setting of a romance movie...it was that perfect for both of them.

The cabin was a few miles south of Florence and then inland away from the coastal dunes into the old growth forest. But it was only a short drive and then down one more small dirt road and they were home for the night. The lingering evening daylight was almost snuffed out by the dense forest around the cabin, and Nicki hurried to open the place up and get them settled for the night. April was at a loss as to how to be of much help, so she mostly just stayed out of the way as Nicki brought in the luggage and then kindled a fire in the stone fireplace. And just in time, as the darkness crept in and the much cooler night begin to take hold, the fire brought a comforting security as primitive as mankind itself.

The silence of this remote place was the first thing that April noticed. Had she ever been in a place where the sounds of humanity didn't exist? Only the crackling fire disturbed that silence, and even that lended a sense of a long lost past. Oh, I could get used to this, she told herself as she hugged her knees to her chest and sat watching the flames dance for her. She saw in them a primeval dance of raw energy, her artistic nature coupled with her unfulfilled lust created a dance in those flames that reflected her on inner fire.

Once Nicki finally got everything settled, she filled another glass of wine for them both and joined April on the leather sofa in front of the fireplace. She was close enough to smell just a hint of Aprils perfume, and that combined with this wonderful setting brought an unconscious sigh of contentment.

"Well, that sounded like it felt good," April said.

"I didn't even realize how much I needed to getaway and just relax," Nicki replied.

"I'm so happy you suggested this. I'm sure you'd have more fun with your friends who own this, but for what it's worth I'm sure glad you asked me," April told her.

"They are good people, and I'm sure you'll meet them one day. But the truth is, they may own it, but I pretty much built it. So it's sort of an informal understanding that we all get to use it. Truth is, it's been too long since I've been here. It took someone to want to share it with to get me back down this way," Nicki confided.

April squeeze Nicki's hand once again to express her gratitude.

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow," Nicki teased.

"Oh, tell me now." April pleaded.

"Nope, you'll see tomorrow."

"Well, I just hope it's not an April Fools' Day prank! I might get riled up and spank your bottom," April teased back.

"I forgot, it is April Fools' Day. Hmmm, now I have to think some more about surprises myself," Nicki said with a laugh.

"I'm not kidding, you may be bigger and stronger, but you've seen me in the gym and know I pack a wallop," April threatened...but her laugh rendered it a pointless threat.

"Why am I not feeling threatened," Nicki replied.

"You just wait mister smart britches, or is that miss smarty pants...I can't ever keep up with all of the pronouns anymore!"

"I know what you mean," Nicki laughed. "Sometimes I'm not sure what to call myself anymore!"

"If you don't mind, I'd call you pretty," April said in a softer voice.

"I'm not sure pretty is a word very many people would choose," Nicki said with a crooked grin.

"Well, they'd be wrong and I'd be right," April teased.

"Okay, since I kinda like the idea, I'll just let you keep thinking that," Nicki said surrendering the disagreement.

"I'm starting to think you just act tough to cover up the pretty woman that's really there," April said ignoring the inner warning that the wine had loosened her reticence.

Nicki too was ignoring the faint voice that was reminding her that she still had no idea if April might be a lesbian or even just bi-curious. The entire day had been a mixture of agony and ecstasy. The shared flirtations were obvious, but the intent wasn't assured. But remembering that kiss and all of the soothing emotions since first meeting April spurred her to a bolder gesture.