Ardmore Pt. 04

It was when I approached the problem of his parents that he temporarily withdrew. After some skillful probing he revealed the burning core of his anger towards them and the incident that sparked his growing resentment.

It was then, after he told me his secret that I realized I could not help him. I only hoped that in sharing his story that I might reduce his isolation and confusion. I could promise only to speak with his father on his behalf. When I arrived I realized my world was becoming very complicated.

Chapter 17: Meeting Jane's parents

After returning home I picked up one call that was totally unexpected. The caller was Jane's father asking if he and his wife could visit with Adrienne later that evening. Unbeknownst to me, she had called them from the hospital the last day we were in Williamsport. I assume she expressed her condolences, but with Adrienne it might have been more than that.

I asked them to hold while I told her who was calling. She picked up on the extension and the meeting was set.

Jane's parents arrived a little after seven. The kids were out of the house, by prearrangement. Whatever direction our meeting would take, the discussion was not one my children needed to hear.

I greeted the Glattfelders at the door. They looked to be about in their late fifties or early sixties. Mrs. Glattfelder was still an attractive lady slightly taller than Adrienne. Her husband stood above both her and me, letting me know where Jane had inherited her height.

I had understood from earlier conversations with Jane that she was an only child. Even expressing my sorrow for their loss seemed grossly inadequate. I almost told them that too but thought better of it. They gave a customary thank you and I could see the strain as it was stated. No parent should outlive his or her child.

Adrienne was waiting for them in the living room on a loveseat near the fireplace. When they finished exchanging embraces, I ushered them over towards the couch which faced my wife. After asking if I could get them some refreshment, they declined and I turned to make my departure. I thought they had come solely to speak with my wife.

Truth is I held some resentment about the photograph Jane's mother had taken. If this woman had endorsed an illicit affair between my wife and her daughter, I would have never permitted the couple in my home. Only my lack of solid evidence and a sense of compassion permitted some courtesy towards them, even so, I did not want to remain in their company.

I had planned to discuss their visit with my wife later when we were alone in our bedroom, so it came as a surprise when Mrs. Glattfelder spoke as I was leaving the room.

"Please Mr. Martens I'd like you stay if you don't mind. We wanted to meet with both of you and we know how awkward this may seem." It wasn't her voice that drew me back, but her eyes had a wanting glare, a sadness that called out. I turned and took the seat next to Adrienne. Confusion must have been written across my face, for Mrs. Glattfelder managed a weak smile as she directed her next statement to me.

'As you can well imagine it's been crazy at our house this last week, what with the constant questions from the reporters. I wanted you to know how sorry we are that we released that picture of your wife and Jane. We never expected it to be used like it was. To imply that they were...well that's just not true." She then looked over at Adrienne.

"You were the one who kept our baby from killing herself when she became sick and was rejected by that woman. It was never our intent to cause you or your husband problems. Jane loved you like a sister."

"Mr. Martens you need to know that it was me who asked your wife to speak with our daughter. We didn't know who else to turn to. When we learned that Jane had met with that woman a couple of weeks ago we were afraid she would fall back into that same self-destructive pattern. It was bad enough that she abandoned her when she needed her most, but Jane then told us she was married. We didn't raise her that way."

Mrs. Glattfelder leaned back slightly in the seat as if to catch her breath. Her husband immediately put his arm around her. It was enough to reestablish her bearings.

"Are you sure I can't get you something? Perhaps something to drink, coffee, tea, some juice?"

"No thank you, that won't be necessary. We aren't staying that long. We really wanted to apologize and see how you were doing. I take it that you've made some decisions?"

Adrienne looked briefly at me, biting her lower lip before she answered. "Yes, and I had Jane to thank for that. She helped me like only she could. I only wish..." I drew her to me as her voice began to waiver.

Adrienne went on to tell them of her love for Jane and how very sorry she was for both them and for her. Thus began a cathartic conversation aimed at raising the dead, if not in life, then in reverence.

When the Glattfelders finally stood up to leave the atmosphere was charged with emotion. I did not know what to say and my guests were obviously too overcome to continue. They could not have remained under the circumstances. We moved with them slowly to the exit.

Jane's father had been quiet the entire time, so I was caught off guard when he decided to make the parting comments. He had difficulty getting the words out and paused several times. "They only released our baby to us a couple of days ago... She will be buried the day after tomorrow and we wanted to extend a personal invitation to you both. Only family and close friends will be there, and I know she would have very much wanted you there too."

We saw them move to their car and slowly drive off.

Adrienne turned to me. "David I feel tired. Would you please help me get ready for bed?"

I moved behind her as we made our way up the stairs to our bedroom. Without fanfare or conversation I undressed her, then gently washed her and redressed her for bed. I had forgotten the intimacy such actions conveyed. Those simple tasks seemed to recharge us both.

I placed Adrienne on her side of the bed and used the pillows to prop her into a more comfortable sitting position. Next I took a seat in our reading chair which directly faced her.

"I suppose it's time we had that talk Lit," I began.

While my tone was flat, she did not miss my using her childhood nickname. For a fleeting moment I saw her eyes blink and a sad smile cross her lips.

Chapter 18: A benevolent deception

What followed was a simple story really, more about what close friends do for one another. Adrienne was somewhat subdued in the retelling.

"It's like what Mrs. Glattfelder said earlier; three weeks ago she called me, virtually begging me to speak with Jane. She was acting erratically, exhibiting a similar behavior to her problem several years ago. So I called her at work."

"We hadn't talked for a while, not since after you and I celebrated our twentieth." Adrienne attempted another smiled when she said that, it faded fast when she saw I was not reciprocating.

She continued, "We talked for a while, about nothing in particular, which was odd for Jane. She always had so much going on in her life. I remember thinking that she was merely trying to keep me on the phone, that she had something to tell me and she was delaying as long as possible."

"Eventually she told me she had seen her old girlfriend. The woman had called her about a week before. No contact in over three years and then she calls like nothing had happened. Anyway, she got Jane. They went out to dinner then spent the next day together looking at antiques."

"May I stop you for second? I'm having a small problem. You see I didn't know Jane was gay. I know now of course, since I learned that in the newspapers. Oh, and Gary said he knew." I tried not to sound too annoyed, so as not to cause her to shut down, but there was no escaping my annoyance on finding this out.

"I thought you knew. I guess I unconsciously didn't tell you. I didn't want you to change your opinion of her."

"It was too late for that. You told me she was involved with someone who was married. Male or female it would have been just as wrong. I thought she had better sense than that. Are you telling me now that you were not that person?"

Adrienne looked at me and I saw a flash of anger in eyes. "No, I am not that person."

"Please continue" I responded before folding my arms across my chest.

"I couldn't believe she would even entertain a relationship with that woman again. Jane had been in love with her. Then when she found out she had to have a mastectomy this...person dropped her like she had the plague. It was devastating. Jane almost attempted suicide David. It took the better part of a year before she regained her equilibrium."

"And you were aware of all of this as it was occurring." I added.

"No, certainly not. I only learned about their affair after Jane had cancer. She kept it hidden from me; to this day I still don't know who the woman was. Jane said I had met her but other than that she wouldn't go into any detail."

"I only knew that Jane said she was still married. I could see where their liaison was going so I urged Jane not to get pulled into the same trap. I could tell she was of two minds. She had been celibate since her surgery and though they were dating again, they hadn't been intimate yet."

"Even so, the woman was pressuring her and trying to buy her way back with expensive gifts. At first Jane accepted her generosity but their appearance was causing her to rethink their relationship."

"She was torn David, but I knew that if I could spend some time with her I could get her to see the damaging effect of another affair. The conference was coming up and it looked like a perfect opportunity to talk with her face to face at some length."

"That gets you to the conference Lit. You were both there on Monday, the first day. What I want to know is how do you end up in park on Tuesday? How does a counseling session with a friend turn into a camping trip? Don't tell me that you both decided to just pick up and go Monday night."

"No, it wasn't like that. We decided on the trip that Friday before. Jane told me what accessories I needed and she picked them up for me that weekend."

"Great, that explain the logistics, but I'm still lost. How do you guys decide to go camping in the first place? I take it that that was Jane's doing. When I picture you babe, camping in woods is not the backdrop. I guess I should ask, how does Jane get you into the woods with her?"

I was willing myself to sit impassively. Adrienne must have been unnerved by my continued posturing and felt a need to reassure me.

"David, this was not some romantic adventure. She is...was, my friend."

I let that statement sit there awhile before I answered, "I believe you."

Ordinarily, you would think that she would have been relieved to hear that. She might have if she's had not seen the huge frown on my face. The idea of her and Jane curled up lovingly in the woods never made sense to me and the evidence supported that.

No, she lied to me, about something much, much more important.

"I'm listening."

Adrienne shifted slightly, getting a better angle for her back. She placed another pillow unto her lap to take pressure off her sling. I was unmoved and playing my role for maximum affect.

"You have to understand that Jane and I talked on and off for all of the week preceding the conference. Every time I thought she was coming around to my argument she would slide back into ambivalence. Her girlfriend was continuing with the seduction, calling her every night, promising to put her up in an apartment if she moved back here. I was at my wits end as to what to do."

She stopped at that point, probing my eyes for some recognition of sympathy. When she could bear no more, I saw the tears begin to form. That is when I was finally moved to get up from my chair to go to the bathroom and wet a washcloth.

When I returned I proceeded to gently wipe her face, all while she looked up at me like a frightened child. My questioning of her was over at that point. It was easy enough to connect the remaining dots. The missing information was insignificant in relation to the major problem we faced.

I assumed a spot next to her on the bed. Lit leaned in, placing her head on my shoulder. I in turn put my arm protectively around her. Her muscles relaxed against me in the smallest yet most sincere measure of the trust we shared.

"Weren't you going through your own problems when Jane's mother called that first time?" I asked. "When did you tell Jane about YOUR condition? Was it that same Friday? You played on her affection for you didn't you? You used your problem to deflect her worry about her girlfriend. You knew that if presented with it, she would immediately come to your aid. It was she who suggested the trip."

My wife turned in a sad stare. It occurred to me then that she hadn't suspected I would be aware of her condition or how she used it to help her friend. She then resumed her explanation.

"It's true. I knew Jane would help if I asked. I know you're bothered that I did not come to you first. It wasn't intentional. I can explain," she began.

"It's unnecessary at this point. Your choosing to confide in Jane doesn't bother me. It wasn't an either-or situation. Like I said, the only details I don't have are pretty insignificant. We need to focus on getting you better."

"No, let me tell you the rest first."

I sighed and tightened my hold, whereupon she continued. "They did a biopsy. I have breast cancer David. They say it's stage 2 even though it hasn't spread to my lymph nodes."

"I know, I spoke with your doctor."

"I should have told you before. I wanted to, but, well the idea of losing my breast. I don't want to..." She paused, and a tear ran down her cheek. "After each shower I would look and inspected again, trying to imagine being without my left breast, wondering why me. Wondering if you would still want me."

"You wondered If I would still want you? How many times have I kissed that line going down the center your belly?" I don't want to lose you Lit. I love you, breasts or no breasts. You should have told me. I assume you told Jane because she was a survivor?"

"Yes. I wasn't going to at first, but I needed to. She had beaten it once. She had been through everything I was going through. Jane became MY counselor. She persuaded me to get yet another opinion. She helped me understand the real impact of some of my treatment options."

"Knowing how you avoid doctors, I'm glad she got you to get moving on this." I interjected.

"Jane also warned me about how it might change my personal relationships. It wasn't the cancer that almost killed her. Its how the one person she loved turned from her, made her feel less than a woman, worthless as a companion."

"And you thought I would react like that?"

"No, deep down I knew you wouldn't, I just needed some reassurance. I knew I could rely on Jane to help me work through the doubt."

"Why was that specific site chosen for your campsite?"

"Jane joined a survivor's support group and they took excursions to the park twice a year. She really enjoyed those trips. It gave her a chance to reflect, to refocus energies. It was almost like a sacred place to her. She wanted to share it with me hoping it would have the same effect, that it would strengthen my determination. She was so enthusiastic that I readily agreed to go."

"I can't get over the vision of you traipsing through the underbrush. Little Miss 'I hate snakes' in the forest." I joked. Lit playfully swatted my leg.

"I assume that you were curious about the scaring, that there was some show'n tell during your last night at the campsite?"

Lit first looked down, and then up at me as she nodded in assent. I didn't take Jane's topless display as anything sexual. When it was said to me that Rudman had seen some nudity at the campsite I knew Jane was probably the one who exposed herself. My wife needed to hear my lack of concern about that incident.

It took a lot of courage for Jane to show her friend her reconstructed breast. It was very hard on both of them. It wasn't difficult to image them hugging and crying immediately thereafter. That might have been a true Kodak moment had William Rudman not decided to commit murder in the same instance.

Now that we had cleared the air about her trip, there was a lot I had to learn about breast cancer, and pronto. I could not help Lit unless I had a solid understanding of what we were up against.

Then there was a support group. Her first line of support was our families. That caused me to ask another question.

"Lit, who knows about our problem, other than me, and Jane's mother?"

"No one else." She picked up on my question right away. "David, no, absolutely not. You are not going to get everyone involved in this. No."

I was prepared for that argument. Our families would naturally 'circle the wagons' around her. There was no preventing that; in fact, even to try to prevent them would be more of hassle than it was worth.

"This isn't like your hysterectomy Lit. This time we have to tell everyone. The kids have a right to know, and you can't keep this a secret from your parents. How would you explain that your mother?"

"Furthermore, Gary has an interest and you can't expect me to keep it from my folks. And if they know, my sisters will too. Face it; we are your first line support group. You'll just have to live with that...no pun intended."

Looking very satisfied with myself I let her have my biggest grin.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" She fired back.

In response, I leaned over and kissed her. I missed that part of our exchanges this last week. We were like two teenagers, both afraid to separate and lose the magic. When we did she shifted her torso to snuggle closer into my chest.

As I was enjoying the moment I remembered the other serious problem we had to address. I could not keep the truth from Lit. Her activities had inadvertently brought to light something that would have horrific consequences for some, while affecting all of us in some way.

I sighed in resignation and she turned to look at me once again. "What's wrong?"

"I know who Jane's lover was. She kept her identity from you for a very good reason. It's Giselle."

"OH NO! That can't be. Are you sure?"

I was. When I found the bracelet in Jane's bag I thought at first it might have come from Gloria. Then I recalled that Giselle shopped at Howard's store too. Gary's statement earlier that morning nailed it for me. However, it was the final confirmation that I regretted most. It was the only that I could safely share with Lit.

"Leo told me this afternoon. He and his girlfriend were visiting the antique district in New Hope last month when they spotted Giselle and Jane sharing a kiss. They were lip-locked in Giselle's car. Fortunately for him, neither of them saw him."

"I haven't told Gary yet." I added after a short pause.

"I want to be there when you do."

When we invited Gary over the next day we would tell him that his wife had been Jane's lover. We would tell him that the relationship was at least three years old. We would tell him that his only son was acting out because he could not handle that level of betrayal. We would tell him all of this because we had to, because Adrienne's burdens would be too much to carry if we did not.

My wife, my love, the mother of my children, and my best friend had breast cancer. I would not tolerate any distractions as we fought the real battle for her life.

Epilogue:

Gary filed for divorce from Giselle within a week of our talk. His filing caught her completely by surprise. She responded with a personal order of protection seeking to have him removed from their home. The gambit technically failed, but Gary did leave voluntarily, as did Leo. In spite of all the negative adjectives to describe her, she had been a caring mother. So I knew that the rejection of her son was almost a deathblow.