Artificial Happiness

Robert's recollection of the events before he went to sleep was fuzzy, incomplete and lacking details. He had sex with Julia that much was clear. Despite the fact that he had wanted nothing more for the last two weeks, he was not entirely sure whether that was a good thing. Not just because the experience hadn't quite lived up to his expectations. Up until the moment she had kissed him, she had made very clear that she had no sexual interest in him. According to her own words she didn't want sex with a man she had no romantic feelings for. Had that changed? Was it only the alcohol, which had instigated her actions? Or had she done it out of pity? Could she have developed feelings for Robert? Did he have such feelings for her? It was hard to tell. He had been attracted to her from the first day and the relation between them had evolved into something he valued highly. However, at no point had he given himself to illusions that this was anything more than a temporary friendship. They were just far too different to be anything more than friends. Robert found himself unable to properly process all that in his current state. Natural emotions were just too complex and bewildering, even when sober.

He found Julia strapped into the pilot chair of the cockpit. She was idly staring out the viewport, at the growing sphere of Mars in front of them. Robert placed himself in the co-pilot chair next to her and gazed in the same direction. They sat there for a long time in an uncomfortable silence. In less than 4 hours they would reach Zukunftsfabrik station.

"Nervous?" Julia asked eventually.

"A little," Robert admitted. "At the moment that is the least of my problems though; I don't feel very well."

Julia smiled faintly. "That is called a hangover; the reminder that every joy in life has its price." It was obvious that she wasn't unaffected by the consequences of drinking either, but she coped a lot better, even without a CERS.

Another long silence followed. Afterwards it was again Julia who spoke up: "About last night..."

"It was a mistake," Robert voiced his guess, in which direction this was going, before Julia had found the words.

She was surprised for a moment; then she nodded "So you feel the same?"

"I don't regret anything, if that is what you mean" Robert answered hesitantly. "It was an... interesting experience. Even if it didn't play out quite the way I had imagined it. It is also incompatible with how you previously described your attitude towards sexuality. You said you would only have sex with someone you have romantic feelings for; which means either you made an alcohol-induced misstep and broke your own rules or you have romantic inclinations towards me. The latter would be unfortunate because in a few hours our ways will part, and we might not see each other again. So I assume what we did was a mistake."

"That is a very analytical way of seeing it," she commented with a mixture of amusement and melancholy. "It might have been a combination of both causes. Alcohol, horniness and impaired discernment certainly played a significant role; but some deeper emotions might also have been involved. Maybe it's just because we have been stuck with each other's company on such confined space for weeks. That tends to create a certain sexual tension. But beyond that I really have grown fond of you. Maybe drunk me just wanted to express that somehow before we part."

"I am quite fond of you as well," Robert replied. "And I appreciate the effort of drunk you. Generally, I want to thank you again; for everything you have done for me and all your support."

"It has been my pleasure," she said with a warm smile.

While Mars filled an ever larger percentage of their sight, they spent their remaining time together with casual chit chat. Robert would miss talking to her. At least the current version of him would.

8

Coming home to the familiar environment of Zukunftsfabrik station and its space ship factory had a soothing effect on Robert's mind. The company made sure he was able to return to his old routine quickly. After requesting a short report on his assignment and the data he had collected, they reset his configuration to the old default. Like before the responsible overseer failed to check and recognize that the modification safeguard was disabled, so Robert kept full control. Unlike last time he didn't immediately change the settings though. In order to find out whether satisfaction with his old life was still an option, he left the configuration exactly as it was.

For the first few days this worked surprisingly well. The simple everyday life of a Worker brought back a stability he had sorely missed without realizing it. The worries of previous days were buried under a vast heap of tasks to occupy him with and replaced by a serene feeling of contentment. For a while Robert had actual hope that this condition might last. It didn't.

Despite his best efforts of backporting his mental state to the old version, there were some new thoughts and habits Robert couldn't quite shake. They were subtle and inconspicuous at first. Among them were a fondness for making analytical observations about the Worker life and a tendency to get lost in philosophical considerations about the topic. By his fourth day back in the factory, Robert was convinced to have made an important discovery in this mental endeavor. According to his theory there were some fundamental differences between Workers and Naturals in their pursuits for happiness.

Workers usually spent the majority of daytime with their main occupation or some activity closely related to it. During those periods they were mostly content, experiencing only some minor ups and downs. Therefore, a Workers life played out on a more or less constant level of happiness. There were rarely any outstanding highs or lows, no short moments of ecstatic bliss or phases of devastating depression.

The emotional spectrum of a Natural was much more erratic in comparison. They spent a lot more time being dissatisfied or bored. Periods of joy appeared rather short-lived and there was a lot of potential for very negative moods. The intensity of a true moment of happiness however, was far more rewarding than anything a Worker ever experienced. Naturals tended to live from one positive experience to the next, rather than achieving a more constant level of wellbeing. At least that was what Robert had perceived during the weeks he spent as an almost Natural.

From a purely pragmatic point of view, the Worker life seemed preferable. It was a common occurrence though, that people wanted what they didn't have, once they knew it was there. Robert was no different in that regard. As much as he appreciated the stable mood his CERS provided, he couldn't help but long for something more exciting and fulfilling. These feelings only increased over time until he couldn't resist any longer and started meddling with his configuration again.

All the previous practical experience made him quite confident about his skills in handling the implants. Subsequently his experiments became gradually more daring. The results were often hard to predict and not always to his liking. Messing with the bio-chemistry of the brain was a complex and risk thing; there was still much he didn't know or understand.

Robert didn't rely purely on the mental manipulation to grant himself some positive feelings but also returned to the small joys he had known during his time on the Beautiful Mystery. Luckily he was prepared for that. During his journey, when he had accessed the internet of Earth or the smaller but still substantial network of Venus via Julia's UID, he had used the opportunity to fill a storage drive with all kinds of digital treasures. A lot of it was of pornographic nature. There had just been so much stimulating material to view and so little time.

Not all of his browsing through the vast networks had been driven by hormone-fueled lust though. He had also acquired plenty of songs, videos, reading material and even some games. These forms of entertainment were still baffling to him, but he had started developing a certain appreciation for some. He had also gathered more information about the CERS and its capabilities. In particular he had done some research regarding the special functionality used by the brothel on Venus. As it turned out, most of the functionalities the man in the suit had mentioned could be achieved with conventional CERS hardware. It only required some plugin-software to be installed on the implants. Out of curiosity Robert had searched for and downloaded such a software package, including instructions on how to use it. So far he had found neither a use for it, nor any motivation to study the topic further. It might prove useful in the future though.

At first Robert thought these small distractions after work hours would keep him content for a long time. He was wrong about that. As it turned out, some sporadic short-term gratification was not sufficient to suppress a craving for more. Neither did it stop his mind from drifting along all sorts of unusual inspirations throughout the day. Those random thoughts revolved around various topics, ranging from deep philosophical contemplations to absurd trivialities. He pondered over many questions. Some were of existential nature, such as 'what would happen to Workers once they became too old to do their job?' Others were very simple, such as 'where does this unmarked door lead?' What bothered him most was not that he didn't know the answers to them, but that he had no one to discuss them with. His colleagues would have little interest in such conversations. Since he had freed himself from much of the mental manipulation of the CERS he found the company of other factory Workers dull and uninspiring. They barely talked about anything but work, had no interest in chatting during their shifts and were boringly solemn at any other time. Robert knew fully well that he had been exactly the same not that long ago. Nevertheless they were almost insufferable to him now. Despite being surrounded by people all the time, he felt lonely. He really missed Julia.

Just when Robert had started thinking about coming up with some crazy scheme for contacting her, an interesting opportunity diverted his attention. Lisa, his friend and long-time coworker approached him during a shift. He had rarely seen her since his return to the factory and they had never found an opportunity to talk. The reason for that was revealed to him when she told him about a new position to which she had recently been assigned.

"The company has initiated a development project for a new type of ship," Lisa informed him. "They want to establish a team in the Ultimate Space Racing (USR) league. The R&D department has been tasked with planning a racing vessel. This is mostly uncharted territory, so they are recruiting employees from across all fields to assemble a project team. The participants should be capable of coming up with a concept which fulfills the requirements of this new kind of spacecraft while achieving maximum reuse of our existing parts, designs, infrastructure and production processes. I volunteered for this program because it fits well with my recent work, specifically the collision simulations, structural integrity models, material studies and low-mass-designs. The team is still in need of more expertise for the simulation software. A lot of new development is needed to cover all the usage scenarios of the new ship.

"We have worked well together in the past and you are a good fit for the job, so I would like to invite you into the team. This would entail assignment to a different part of the facility, a slightly diverging work schedule and an extensive learning phase for acquiring the necessary knowledge and skills. I know it sounds like a very drastic change but I think it could really be an opportunity to..."

"I'll do it," Robert casually interrupted her doubtlessly well prepared recruitment speech. Lisa looked dumbstruck for a moment. She certainly hadn't expected him to agree so fast. Workers usually didn't accept such a drastic changes in their lives easily; unless their CERS configuration was changed accordingly first.

"Just like that?" Lisa asked. "Don't you want to know more details about the project, your tasks or the team?" Clearly she was a little disappointed that she would get no chance to prove how well prepared she was for such enquiries.

"No, I trust your assessment."

"Do you know what the USR league is?"

"No idea; I will find out soon enough I guess."

"You don't even need time to consider?" It really seemed to vex her that someone would switch jobs so easily.

"No, it really sounds like a very interesting project." Robert didn't know anything about space ship racing, nor did he care about it. There were two reasons he was eager to volunteer: First of all he hoped that a new job, a different environment and a change in routine might help him escape from his unfulfilled state of mind. Secondly, he was desperate for some social interaction. He had always liked Lisa, probably more than anyone else on the entire station. If there was any Worker he could have a somewhat enjoyable conversation with, it was her. This new project sounded like a good opportunity to spend some time with her.

"Okay, great" Lisa confirmed; the satisfaction of having achieved her goal quickly replaced all concerns about Robert's strange behavior. "I will inform my superiors. You can finish up whatever tasks you are currently working on and switch to the R&D department as soon as everything is arranged."

A few days later, Robert found himself at his new workstation in a new office. With only twenty occupants, the room was a lot smaller and quieter than the vast hall he had previously worked in. It was also farther from the actual production facilities, both in distance and appearance. A Natural might have considered this a promotion. Workers usually didn't think like that. To them, there was no career ladder and no promise of advancement in a hierarchy. Everyone just did the job he or she was intended for as best as they could. Still Robert felt like this was an improvement for him.

Lisa worked in the same office. Her workstation was just a few meters from his. It didn't take long until an opportunity for a private conversation with her arose. Lisa was tasked with introducing Robert to some of the new software tools they would be using throughout the project. For that purpose the two of them occupied a small conference room, where they could talk without disturbing anyone.

It was the perfect chance for having an insightful chat; at least that's how it played out in Robert's mind beforehand. Once he found himself alone with Lisa, he realized that he had no idea what to say. Feeling like a complete idiot he just sat there and listened to her detailed descriptions of some new engine optimization software, grasping not even half of it, because his mind was in an entirely different place. Currently he was much more interested in studying the woman's face.

At first he was just admiring her lovely features. Soon the focus of his curiosity shifted more towards her behavior: the slight tilt of her head; the way she occasionally ran a hand through her hair; the higher pitch in her voice when she emphasized something important; the fluent movement of her hands aiming to complement the words she spoke; all the little idiosyncrasies Robert had always known to be part of her, but never consciously recognized or thought about. Those were not manifestations of the CERS, but an intrinsic part of her personality. A personality which he was absolutely sure existed.

Among the peculiarities he noticed there were also small expressions of joy, caused primarily by her work of course: a slight upwards curvature of her lips, indicating the faintest smile; a sparkle in her eyes; an enthusiastic increase in her talking pace when discussing something she was really interested in. They were subtle, but undeniably there. It was not the gleeful exuberance Robert had observed in many of the Workers on Venus. Lisa was more composed and serene; more like him.

"You seem distracted," Lisa suddenly interjected, forcing Robert to abort his mind's ramblings "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, sure," he claimed hastily. "I was just... contemplating."

"What subject, if I may ask?"

Failing to come up with a fast, proper response, Robert decided to go a different way. Seizing the chance of having Lisa's attention he asked: "Are you happy?"

She was clearly startled by the unexpected question, but answered quickly: "Yes, of course; why wouldn't I be?"

Robert nodded and followed up with another question: "Is there anything you would change about your life or yourself, if you could?"

This time it took a little longer until she replied. "There are certainly things about me which I could improve, but nothing particular comes to my mind right now."

"Did you ever wonder what other life you could have lived? What other paths might be out there?"

"Not really..."

Of course not; her answers were exactly what Robert had expected. Nevertheless there had been the fickle, irrational hope for some deeply hidden sensation of discontent, a faint craving for a fundamental change. It would have made everything so much simpler.

Robert hadn't fully admitted it to himself yet, but the real objective in this entire endeavor was to modify Lisa's CERS configuration. Not for the purpose of adjusting her personality to his preferences as they did in the brothel on Venus of course. He merely wanted her to be free, just like he was. Of course the main motivation wasn't an altruistic one. His own desire for companionship was the driver behind the idea. That was what made him hesitate. Robert didn't know whether Lisa wanted this change or not. He couldn't just ask her because as soon as her CERS detected any kind of thought which revolved around unauthorized changes to its settings, it would immediately make the idea very undesirable and keep her from even considering it. There was no way for her to agree to the change; at least not until the change was already done.

Could granting someone more cognitive freedom and self-determination be a bad thing? The Naturals clearly put an immense importance on those properties, but they had never been in a Worker's position; just like Lisa had never experienced the sensation of being a Natural. Would it be a kindness or a vile deed to introduce her to this feeling? Once she passed that portal there might be no going back. It was impossible to say if the other side would be salvation or torment to her. Robert couldn't even answer that question for himself. His escape from the machine's total control had been a revelation and a source of abundant joy to him, yet it was also the cause of a lot of adversity as well as the torn condition of his mind. If he subjected her to the same experience she might be thankful or she might despise him for it; possibly both.

After Robert just looked at her in silence and indecision for a while Lisa asked: "Are you really okay? You seem... different ever since you returned from your recent assignment."

That statement was a surprise to Robert. Either Lisa was more observant than he would have expected or the changes in his character were more obvious than he had intended to reveal. His first impulse was to deny everything but the urge to share his situation compelled him to disclose at least some of his thoughts.

"I'm fine; mostly; but you are right, I am somewhat different. On my assignment for testing the XG3 I got some insights which altered my perspective to some degree."

"What kind of insights?" Lisa wanted to know.

"Among other things I've had a glimpse at what life is like beyond the factory, met Workers with completely different occupations and acquired a much better understanding of Naturals."