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Silently, they go about repairing their clothing.

Then, as he'd begun, he took her face in both hands and kissed her, it was a long, gentle kiss that would not only end that night, but also serve as a prelude to many more nights of enchantment that lay ahead.

***

"I knew I'd have her from the moment I held her hand," he told himself as he swaggered toward to his car.

"My plan to seduce him worked like a charm," she lied to herself, as she put the car in gear and drove away, watching for his headlights to turn on.

The End

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2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
I liked this

story. A bit different than the usual bump-a-dump sex. Top marks!

H.H.MorantH.H.Morantover 14 years ago
Very well done - ending a bit weak

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<p class=MsoNormal>One criticism I have is the shifting from past to present

and back again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </span>I realize this is

sometimes done to make the story seem more immediate, but (1) I don't think it

is necessary in a very short story which covers only a few minutes (with a

flashback to a time shortly earlier in the same evening) (2) the timing of the

tense shift seemed more random than calculated<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>I would leave out the concluding paragraphs<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i>Then, as he'd begun, he took her face in both hands and

kissed her, it was a long, gentle kiss that would not only end that night, but

also serve as a prelude to many more nights of enchantment that lay ahead.<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i>***<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i>&quot;I knew I'd have her from the moment I held her

hand,&quot; he told himself as he swaggered toward to his car.<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i>&quot;My plan to seduce him worked like a charm,&quot;

she lied to herself, as she put the car in gear and drove away, watching for

his headlights to turn on.<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><i><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>The first of these because it is not necessary that every

story &#8211; and certainly not this one &#8211; ends with “And they all lived

happily ever after.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </span>You went far

enough by having them make a date for the following evening.<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>The second &#8211; what does it accomplish?<span

style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </span>Of course he is saying that to himself.<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>The third &#8211; if she says it she would be lying, but she

wouldn’t use a stilted phrase like <i>&quot;My plan to seduce him worked like a

charm&quot;</i><span style='font-style:normal'><o:p></o:p></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]>&nbsp;<![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

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