As Good As Guitars Ch. 15

A moment later I hear the snap of the lube bottle and then she's pushing the dildo into me. After years of practice I take it easily, feeling the familiar pleasure as it fills me. I try to push against it, desperate for it to be enough to tip me over the edge. I can barely move under the straps but Olivia gradually gets faster, hitting pressure points inside me until I'm delirious with need, begging frantically.

Her voice makes me jump. "I should get you to fuck yourself like this - I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. You'd do anything I asked of you right now, wouldn't you? If I told you to jack yourself off with my biggest, thickest dildo, would you do it?"

I don't hesitate. "Yes. Anything."

"What a happy thought. Is what I'm doing now going to make you come?" She's pushing the dildo faster and deeper now, but it's like an itch I can't quite scratch, an unbearable torment. The only thing worse would be if she stopped.

"No... please... please touch me." I've all but given up hope, even though my body's still moving. I don't think I've ever been quite so desperate.

"How about this?" There's a quiet click and then the dildo starts to vibrate, making me yell in shock and pleasure. Olivia holds it still, deep inside me, and suddenly I know it's enough and that I'm going to come.

"Please, just there - please don't move it..." I'm pushing against her, not quite able to believe that she won't pull away and ruin it.

"Poor baby. I am cruel to you, aren't I?" She nudges it a little deeper and that's all I need and I'm coming, crying out in relief and pleasure as semen flies up over my aching body.

A long beat of time later, Olivia switches the vibrator off and withdraws it gently. I lift my head. "Thank you."

She smiles. "You're getting soft. I've made you wait longer than that before." She unbuckles my legs. "And I've told you before that you don't need me touching you to come. You should have more faith in yourself."

I lie there, not yet ready to move and happy to wait while she unbuckles the strap across my chest and wipes me down carefully. Finally she unclips my wrists and lifts them gently back over my head. "Time to sit up."

When I look down at myself I see that my entire chest and stomach are bright pink from the flogging. My nipples are an angry purple, although the bruises will fade soon enough.

Olivia's watching me. "Okay?"

I take a breath. "Yes."

She smiles and strokes my cheek. "Good boy. Now get dressed while I wash my hands, and then we can go downstairs."

~

The reality of the situation doesn't hit me until I'm in the car. I'm on my way home to my girlfriend, who knows that I've spent the afternoon having kinky sex with my mistress. Some men would think I'm living the dream, but suddenly I'm sure that this will be too much for Leigh. When she dumped me after the charity ball all I could think was that I deserved it, and I never imagined she'd actually come back to me. Everything since then has seemed like borrowed time, with both of us just waiting until I finally push her too far. Maybe today will be the day.

The thoughts race around in my head and the usual post-Olivia buzz drains away. By the time I get home I feel sick, although that's slightly mitigated by the realisation that Leigh's not back yet. I shower quickly and get changed, then wander around the flat distractedly, looking for something to do. It's getting late but I'm not hungry, and I don't know if Leigh will have eaten. In fact, I don't have any idea what she's up to, other than that she's told me she's spending the day with Rachel.

I'm on the sofa trying to read when I finally hear the front door open and then her voice. "Gil? Are you back?"

"In here." I sit up, checking that I look presentable. Worry gnaws at me.

Leigh walks into the room a second later, and a lot of my misery evaporates immediately when her face lights up in a smile. "Hey sweetheart, it's good to see you." She kisses me, sitting down next to me and kicking off her shoes. "My feet ache."

I've been expecting anything but her usual sunny demeanour. The relief makes me slightly light-headed. "Let me?" I reach for her ankles and she swings her feet up onto my lap so that I can massage them. It's always been easier for me to talk while I'm doing something else. "Did you have a nice day?"

"Yes, actually. And busy... I've been shopping, to the tennis museum, a show and then dinner. Much more fun to do than to tell you about, though." There's a pause, and then she asks the killer question. "How about you? Did you have a good afternoon?"

I don't know if there's a right way to talk about this. "Um, I guess so, yes."

When I look up, she's looking at me. "What?"

She smiles. "I'm trying to work out how I feel. I was expecting to be upset, or jealous or sad or something, but I'm not. I don't know why... I don't think it's just because I stopped off and had a large G&T on the way home. And then the gin told me it felt lonely, so I had a second one to keep it company."

"You lush." The teasing is automatic, making us both grin.

"Better a lush than a pervert." As Leigh says it her face changes, and she claps a hand over her mouth. "Oh shit. Gil, I'm sorry... I didn't mean that, honest." She looks mortified.

I can feel laughter bubbling up at the absurdity of it all. "It's okay, it's true. Although Olivia wouldn't like to hear either of us say it. She hates that word."

"Does she?" Leigh sounds distracted, and I don't answer. After a moment she stirs. "Can I ask you about it?"

I suppose I should get used to this. "If you want."

"Did it... do the trick?"

I think about it. Despite the buzz fading more quickly than usual, I'm peaceful. "Yes."

She reaches for my hand. "Did she hurt you?"

"Leigh..."

"It's okay, you don't have to answer that. It's just that I've been wondering what to expect. Am I going to need to learn basic first aid?" She sounds curious rather than upset.

My mouth goes dry as I peel off my t-shirt. "She used a flogger."

Leigh looks at my face for a moment, and I can't tell what she's seeing. Then her gaze drops to my torso. "You look a bit sunburnt... I was expecting, I don't know, welts or something." She touches my chest gently. "Is it sore?"

"No, not really." This is surreal. I reach for my t-shirt, and normality. "Do you want dinner? I've not eaten yet."

She sits back, glancing at the clock. "I'm fine, I ate a couple of hours ago. I'm sorry, I should have let you know. You must be hungry."

"If I'm honest, I've not had much of an appetite. I've been worrying about what this..." I wave my arm at both of us, "would be like. I didn't expect you to be so okay with it." I look at her. "Are you really okay with it?"

Leigh chews at her thumbnail, thinking. "Simon once suggested that I think about it as if you were going to the physio. So... that's what I'm going to try."

The image of Olivia working over my glutes pops into my head, making me shiver. It fades when I look at Leigh. "Are you sure?"

"Gil, I love you, and I want us to be happy together. So yes, I'm sure." She smiles wryly. "I can't promise I'll ever stop worrying that you'll leave me for her, but..."

I stare at her. "You love me? You've never said that before."

She grins. "I know, but I thought it needed saying. I love you, Mark Gilwood."