As I Am

"Damn," I whistled. "How does someone get into that line of work?"

"You pretty much have to kill someone," he joked. "Paying positions for game testers don't come open very often."

"I'd guess not."

We talked for two hours. The conversation flowed freely and easily. He really listened to me, and not in that way that some people do when they're trying too hard, hanging on your every word like a puppy. That always makes me nuts. He didn't speak down to me either. Lots of people equate muscles with stupidity and treat me like a simpleton. He had a great sense of humor and could converse on every topic that came up. We hit on a wide range of subjects, including sports, music, politics, current events, and movies. He also had a wicked evil streak in him, which I discovered when Bryce finally deigned to make his appearance.

I was about four glasses of whiskey down when there was a knock on the door. I arched my eyebrow at Nick as I stood up to answer it.

"Wait!" he insisted quietly and bolted up from the couch. "Don't answer until the second knock."

I watched him duck into my bedroom, wondering what he had on his devious little mind. I took my time crossing the fifteen feet to the front door. I waited, as instructed, until the second knock before I opened the door to admit my ex.

"Oh. Bry," I said, pretending to be surprised. "I forgot about you."

He glowered at me but said nothing as he crossed the threshold. He glanced around and his eyes narrowed on the two discarded drinks on the coffee table. "Am I interrupting something?"

I rolled my eyes. "Wait here," I ordered. "I'll go get your shit." I looked around as if I had forgotten where I'd left the bag.

Bryce crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance.

"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed. "Hold on."

I stepped in the kitchen and took a minute to stifle my joy at Bryce's discomfort. Then I picked up the trash bag and carried it back to the living room with my arm extended as if it was toxic. I nearly dropped the bag in shock at the vision that awaited me.

Nick was leaning, casually, one shoulder against the wall in the entrance to the hallway. He was barefoot and his jeans were unbuttoned and hanging precariously from his hips. He had obviously run a wet hand through his hair, mucking it all up to make it appear bed tousled from a serious round of fucking, and he had to of bitten his lips because they looked pink and swollen from kissing. He'd ditched the glasses and he was shirtless. And holy shit, he was ripped. His arms looked pumped, with the muscles and veins on the verge of busting though his unmarked and unblemished skin, as if he'd just finished a strenuous workout, when I knew damn good and well that he'd lifted nothing heavier than a twenty ounce bottle of soda in hours. His chest was a work of art. Everything, from his delts and pecs down to his washboard abs and obliques, was clearly delineated. He was sparsely coated in a well-groomed smattering of dark hair that didn't detract from his physique at all, if anything, it accentuated it, complimented it. The black hair looked soft and more or less formed a swirl pattern around his pecs, creating a dark line down the center, bisecting his six-pack, and spreading out at his groin. He looked like a calendar pin-up. Actually, he was ridiculously hotter than any calendar models I had ever seen. I could not believe what had been hiding under all those frumpy clothes. He'd gone from geeky nerd to sex-on-legs in less than five minutes.

"Are you coming back to bed, Lover?" Nick's sultry voice crooned in an erotic timber that hadn't been in evidence before.

I grinned at him. "Oh yeah." I didn't even have to fake the moan in my voice. Just looking at Nick like that had all the blood in my body rushing somewhere south of my brain. I had to shake my head to clear it of the lust fog. "Here." I pushed the bag at Bryce impatiently.

The expression on Bryce's face was priceless. I wish I had thought to take a picture of it. Nick looked immeasurably hotter than Bryce could pull off even on his best days and Bryce knew it too. The man looked like he'd been poleaxed. He was so shocked that I doubt it even occurred to him to notice that I was still fully dressed. "Th... Thanks," he stuttered.

"No problem." I reached around him, opened the door, and essentially shoved him out it. "Goodnight, Bryce. See you around."

As soon as I had the door firmly locked again, Nick moved into the living room and plopped down on the couch, snickering.

"That was..." I started.

Nick's snicker grew into an actual laugh.

"Did you see his face?" I laughed as I joined him on the couch.

Nick scrunched up his nose. "No. I can't see a damn thing without my glasses."

"Can you see me, Nicky?" I purred seductively, sliding across the couch to close the distance between us. "Because I can sure as hell see you now."

His eyes opened wide in shock as I cupped his face and captured his lips in a kiss. He hesitated for a brief moment before he moaned softly and granted me the access that I was seeking.

Fuck! The man could kiss. He had my entire body tingling just from the way his tongue caressed and stroked mine. I couldn't wait to find out how his kissing skills translated into sucking cock. I didn't want to wait either. I was frantic to get his mouth on me, and even more so, to taste him. I wasn't unfamiliar with this desperation that I was feeling. It's what always happened to me when I got enough alcohol in me. I was like the real life version of the Blonde Mating Call joke; 'I am sooo drunk.' Pour some whiskey down my throat and I'd pretty much fuck anything. And I do mean anything: guy, girl, mailbox... whatever.

But that wasn't what was going on. I wasn't anywhere near drunk enough to start humping inanimate objects. Four drinks in two hours, I had a really nice buzz. That's it. This was just about the way Nick made me feel. To be honest, if he hadn't come out of the bedroom doing an impersonation of a five star dessert, I might have been happy to be very good friends with him. But he did. Now I wanted more. I wanted it all.

I broke off from the kiss, moving my mouth down to his neck. He was panting and grasping at my upper arms. "Fuck me," he moaned when I discovered an ultrasensitive spot on his throat.

"Getting there," I murmured against his skin. He smelled amazing, clean heat and spice. I was anxious to get my face down to where his musk would be strongest. "Wanna taste you first."

"Not here," he groaned. "Bed. Please."

I reluctantly peeled myself off of him and stood, offering him a hand up. It took him a second to focus before he grabbed my hand and let me pull up upright. I led him back to the bedroom without bothering to adjust my trapped erection. There was no need; I'd be shedding my clothes in seconds. Once we were in the bedroom, I dropped his hand and sat on the edge of the bed to unlace my boots. I looked up from my task to see him chewing on his bottom lip.

"Are you nervous, Nicky?" I asked, yanking off one boot and starting on the laces of the other. "I'm not going to push you into anything that you're not ready for." He could be a virgin for all I knew, but I didn't think so. At least, I didn't think so anymore, not after experiencing his kisses.

"Are you strictly a top, Nash?" he finally spit out as I pulled off the second boot and set it on the floor next to his hastily cast-off clothing, including a pair of Batman boxers that made me grin.

I reached for the fasteners on my jeans and stood up to facilitate the removal of my clothes. "I'm versatile. I'll be anything you want me to be," I told him.

"I want to fuck you," he stated with conviction.

I smiled. It had been a long time since anyone wanted to take charge of me. "I'd like that, Nicky"

He rewarded me with his trademarked lopsided grin. "Yeah?"

I pulled off my t-shirt and nodded. "I enjoy receiving. I just don't get to do it very often so I'm gonna need some prep."

He arched his eyebrows in a lascivious manner. "Okay."

"But I really want to taste you first," I told him as I dropped my pants, slid my boxer-briefs down my hips, and stepped out of them. "And I'm dying to feel your mouth on me."

His eyes slowly scanned over my naked and aroused form. I watched his body twitch in response.

"Can you see me from over there, Nicky?" I taunted as I wrapped a firm grip around my shaft and stroked it slowly. "Do you want to come closer?"

He smirked. "Yeah, I can see large things, Nash. But I think coming closer is still a great idea." He unzipped his jeans and let them fall to the floor. He gracefully stepped out of them and closed the distance between us, plastering his body to mine. He was much closer to my height than I had estimated in the club. He was either standing up straighter or my esteem of him was greater, possibly a combination of both.

"Are you calling me large?" I teased.

He slipped his hand between our bellies and encircled my length, taking up stroking me where I had left off. "Yes," he husked.

"But you can't see me like this." I pointedly glanced down to our chests firmly pressed together. "And I can't see you. But I know a way to resolve that."

I placed a quick kiss on his lips before I slid down his body. He took a sharp intake of breath when I rested my lips on his cockhead. I looked up at him. Fuck, he was sexy. I had a lot more mass than he did but, for his frame, his body was sheer perfection. I didn't know how bad his eyesight really was but he was looking down at me and his gaze locked with mine. "Breathe, Nicky," I urged.

He let out the breath he was holding. I smiled at him and snaked my tongue out to give him a gentle lick.

"Stop teasing me, Nash," he groaned.

I could feel the heat and moisture leaching from his swollen cock onto my lips. The scent of him alone was making me insane with need. I licked him again and his breath hitched. "Beautiful," I husked. I inhaled deeply and took him into my mouth. His loud moan filled my ears at the same time that the feel and taste of him flooded my mouth. All of my senses were inundated with the stunning man before me, causing my dick to throb and a moan to rumble through my chest.

"Oh fuck yes," he hissed as I swirled my tongue around his head to get as much of his flavor as possible. His dick was the perfect size to fill my mouth a hair's breadth past the point of comfort. He was long enough to slide deep down my throat and I moaned again at the thought that I was soon going to be feeling it sliding deep into my ass.

He was panting and shuddering while I worked him with my mouth. I loved the taste of his pre-cum exploding on my tongue. He was sweet with none of the bitterness and very little of the acidic flavor that I was accustomed to. But then, he didn't drink or smoke so that undoubtedly had a lot to do with that. I was enjoying every moment of worshiping his cock and I was disappointed when he tapped me on the shoulder to make me stop.

"Please," he husked. "I want to play too."

I hollowed out my cheeks and slid his dick out of my mouth with a soft pop. "Bed?" I suggested. He nodded and held his hand down to help me up. We got on the bed and he immediately straddled my thighs. He looked astounding on his knees over me like that. His muscles were tensing and flexing and I was mesmerized by the sight of his tight abdominals roiling and undulating under his skin. "Love the view," I grinned.

He smirked, "Me too." He wrapped his fingers around the base of my shaft with the perfect amount of pressure and slowly stroked up, causing my eyes to roll back in my head. "How big is this thing?"

"Eight inches," I admitted. "My best attribute."

His glance shifted up to my face. He squinted at me but I couldn't tell if it was because he was annoyed or he just couldn't see very well. "Your best attribute is your heart, Nash," he sighed. "Your beautiful body, face, and cock are just the shell that houses your beautiful heart."

I melted a little at his words. Not my cock, of course. That just got harder. "Come here," I insisted, holding out my arms. He laid his upper body down on top of mine with his head on my shoulder. I tilted his face up and kissed him. I meant for it just to be a tender kiss but it quickly escalated into a passionate melding of mouths and tongues.

I rolled us so I was on top and broke the kiss. I caressed his face, feeling the light stubble along his jawline. "You're an amazing man, Nick," I whispered, staring into his lovely green eyes. "How has some man not snatched you up yet?"

He grimaced. "My ex cheated on me," he admitted.

"He was an idiot," I replied. "We should fix him up with my ex, what's-his-face. Unless he's still fucking my former best friend, whose name I suddenly can't remember either."

He chuckled softly. "With a girl," he added, rolling his eyes.

My eyes shot open in surprise. "Your ex-boyfriend ditched you for a girl?"

He nodded with a wry smirk. "They got married."

I laughed. I tried not to but I couldn't stop it. "Wow. I hope she doesn't mind sharing."

He shook his head. He was trying to keep a straight face but I could tell that he was fighting laughing. "She doesn't know. She thinks he's straight."

"Oh man." I was laughing so hard that I was forced to roll off him. "I feel sorry for her but he's an asshole and an idiot."

"Yeah. It's taken me a long time to get over it. I haven't been with anyone since."

I looked over at him beside me. "How long?"

"Ten months. They got married three months ago."

I turned to my side, facing him, and touched his face again. "So are you? Over it, I mean. Are you ready to move on?"

He stared into my eyes with none of the squinting or confusion that I'd noticed before. I was definitely close enough that he could see me clearly. "I think so," he replied, chewing on his bottom lip. "With the right person."

I wanted to be that person for him but this was typical behavior for me: meet someone, fall into bed, make impassioned promises to each other in the heat of the moment, and then get fucked over. It was my standard playbook. So I didn't say what I wanted to. Instead, I leaned up over him and kissed him. I tried to convey all the tenderness and affection that I felt for him in that kiss but his kisses were so unbelievably sensual that it morphed into scorching sexual fire.

Our hands were all over each other before we broke the kiss and wrestled over which one of us was going to get their mouth on the other. I was stronger but he wanted to dominate me so I let him. He moved his mouth down my body, hitting all my pleasure zones along the way. He had me panting and writhing from the attention that he lavished on my chest and nipples. His mouth! Fuck! All that expertise in kissing most assuredly equated to an exceptional cocksucking ability. The man had mad skills. He was making me feel things that I didn't know were possible and I've been around the block a few times. I really wanted to bury my nose in the light sprinkling of chest hair he had. I wanted to suckle on his nipples and tongue fuck his navel. I never got a chance to get my mouth past his neck. But I forgot all of that when his gorgeous, soft lips wrapped around my cock. It took every ounce of willpower to hold back from coming the second my cock slid into his warm, wet mouth. Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to flip into a sixty-nine position, but his mouth and tongue were producing such glorious sensations that I couldn't even concentrate on the job I was trying to perform.

"Oh fuck, Nicky," I groaned. "You've gotta stop. You're going to make me come."

My desperate plea and the fact that I had stopped sucking on him didn't deter him in the slightest. He was going to take me over the edge. He knew it, I knew it, so I quit fighting it. It was a good thing that I hadn't had his dick in my mouth. My body seized and thrashed as liquid fire burned a path down my spine, up my length, and into his wicked mouth. The intensity of my orgasm stole all the oxygen in me and left me gasping and heaving for breath.

He continued to nurse on me while my breathing returned to normal until he was satisfied that he'd gotten the whole of my emission. The sheen of sweat already coating both of our bodies made for a slick slide of his body across mine. I looked up at him as he settled on his knees on either side of my head.

"Open your mouth, Nash," he commanded, gripping my chin and tilting my head back. A frisson of desire spiked up my spine at the steel in his voice and the rough handling of my face. I absolutely loved for my partner to take the lead during sex. I wasn't into all that BDSM stuff, and there was no way in hell that I'd just bend over and take someone ordering me around in my day to day life, but get me in bed... Hmm, yeah. Bending over and taking it is exactly what I wanted to do. I had no problem assuming the role of a top. And, honestly, most of my lovers were bottoms, but, every once in a while, I just wanted to be manhandled, ravaged, and fucked.

I moaned in bliss around his cock as he shoved it down my throat. He had just the right amount of force to make his dominance crystal clear without actually hurting me. I could have gotten away from him at any time. We were both very well aware of that fact. Since I made no move to do such, and with my moans encouraging him, he began to thrust harder. I reached up and cupped his high, tight ass, driving him on. He was a vocal lover. His deep, rumbly moans, telling me that I was pleasing him, thrilled me to the core. He was plunging deep down my throat and denying me the sweet taste of his pre-cum. Even after such a breathtaking orgasm, I was so turned on by what he was doing to me that my cock filled so rapidly that it ached.

His steady thrusts soon lost their rhythm. His body jerked and he rammed his dick down my throat one last time. He cried out and dropped to his hands on either side of my hips as his body shuddered and his cock pulsed in my mouth. Fuck! He was coming straight down my throat! I frantically pushed at his hips to get him to pull back some. He took the hint and withdrew enough to let the last volley of his sweet cum splash across my tongue.

He wasn't going soft so I continued to suckle on his cockhead, attempting to milk him for every last drop. While he panted heavily over me, trying to catch his breath, I let my fingers drift down his crack, found his hole, and gently rubbed it with my fingertip.

He chuckled breathily, "Are you trying to tell me something, Nash?"

I let his dick slide out of my mouth and kissed his shaft.

He kissed my belly then swung his knee around my head and dropped down beside me on the bed. "Do you have condoms?" he asked. "Lube?"

"Umm, yeah." I rolled over onto my belly and reached for the bedside table. I started to roll back over with the items he'd requested but he stopped me.

He crawled on top of me, straddling my thighs again. "Stay like that," he said, pushing my shoulder back down. He let his fingers trail down my back then bent over and kissed my spine right between my shoulder blades. "You are so fucking sexy," he murmured against my back.

"My back gets you hot?" I joked, my voice muffled by the bedding.

"Everything about you gets me hot, Nash." He reached up and took the bottle of lube and condoms out of my hand before he kissed and licked a blazing trail down my spine. The scruff on his chin was setting all my nerve endings alight. "You're a beast."

I chuckled. "A beast that you'd like to tame."

"Hmm, yes." He licked the base of my spine. "You taste so good." His breath huffed across my hole as he parted my cheeks with his hands.

He swiped his tongue over my entrance and my hips came off the bed involuntarily. "Oh fuck," I moaned. "More!"