As It Seems Ch. 03

Connor rolled his eyes to the sky and shook his head; he let out an exasperated sigh, "So I can take you home." He said slowly trying his best not to let his temper take over; he didn't want to fight with her. They'd been going back and forth all day, not mention the crotch shots he got while she sat in the chair. He knew she was doing that to him on purpose, or maybe she just didn't know you could see up dress? She was sitting with her kegs crossed. His logic tried to step in; he wouldn't make room in his beliefs about her. Not only was he irate and horny; he was fucking tired he still had a long night ahead of him.

He was surprised to see guilt soften her eyes, making them a warm honey brown. For once since they met she was amazingly sweet him.

He didn't know what he said or how he did it; it took another twenty minutes but she got on. I'd make a fucking awesome hostage negotiator; she was dead set against getting on that "fucking death trap." Now she was sitting behind him holding his waist like a nun holding her virginity.

"Ready? Hold on tight."

"Don't let me fall," her voice was small and doubtful so unlike her usual cutting banter.

"Promise" he whispered surprised at how much he did want to keep her safe. She relaxed slightly burying her head in the slope between his shoulders, closing her eyes so tight it hurt. Clinging to Conner's shirt, he pulled her arms around his waist. She held him so tight she wouldn't be surprised if they melted together. She wouldn't admit to herself that she secretly hoped they did.

She yelped as He started the bike, revving the engine a few times, she was sure just to spook her. The bike vibrated violently between her legs, agitating her already agitated core. Connor laughed shaking his head.

This is going to be some ride.

Alexa was thankful; Connor started slow letting her get used to the feeling of weightlessness. The wind slapped her face and stole her breath. She could see why he rode these things. There was a certain freedom in the fear gripping her heart. Her stomach bottomed out with each curve and turn he took. Disappointment pulled at her; as he stopped in front of her building. She fought with the rightness of being so close to him. They sat in an awkward silence; until Alexa cleared her throat. She tried to stand; she wasn't sure if it was her body reluctant to leave the warmth and security Connor's offered or if it was the rough riding making her legs wobbly.

Connor offered her a hand to steady her, and she drew back clutching her wrist. He watched her helplessly; cursing himself, wishing he handled her better. Instead he let his temper and his hate get the better of him; he could have played friend; gotten her to trust him so she would tell him about her and David. Now it was too late to build any sort of trust with her. He hurt her; he knew from experience with broken limbs, he hurt her real good.

Why did she have to be so sexy, especially now; she stood in front of him bashful and shy. He saw why the men he admired most forgot their wives. The thought irked him, he really like David. He didn't get to spend much time with him but when they did he wasn't left feeling like a looser or a failure. The same with Jerome. Jerome warned him what he was getting into when he met with Mackey, with out making the self-righteous speeches he usually came across in this line of work.

Alex closed her eyes bit her lip and took a step forward directly in front of him. "Uh, thanks for the ride home, and for working on my car." She stepped back again as he swung his leg around the bike; towering over her. "What are you doing?"

"Walking you to your door."

"No, really you've already done-"

"You don't know who could be waiting for you." He said simply, his voice harsh, daring her to argue.

"No one is-"

"I'm walking you to the door." She shrugged; sometime tonight she made herself promise to be less confrontational with him. Now was as good a start as any.

"Keys." He held out his hand.

"But-"

"You don't think someone could be waiting for you inside?"

She resigned giving him her keys.

"Just because we don't get along doesn't mean I want anything bad to happen to you." He said distractedly, opening her door then going inside checking all of the rooms before meeting her dumbfound staring at him in the living room.

"Tha-what the hell? No one was in here the door was locked!" Connor was reminding her more and more of her father. Over the top near paranoid over her safety. Alexa had to call her dad every night when she got home. Everyday before she went anywhere, not to mention take a picture of herself on her phone and send it to him. She gave him her work schedule; he even had every contact in her phone. Funny that two totally different sides of the law had the same paranoia. Her dad spent years in the Austin homicide division, then later opting for a desk job in the FBI. He still did light field work but nothing too dangerous or strenuous. As for Connor's side of the law she could only imagine what made him so paranoid.

"Don't worry, baby-girl I'm not casing your crib." He smiled bitterly as she frowned.

"No-that's not-I-"she wasn't even thinking that way, he saw the trouble she was having talking to him. He realized his mistake; maybe she didn't think the worst about him after all.

"Goodnight Alexa," That was the first time he ever said her name, she thought as he showed himself out. Why did it sound so right coming from him? He paused at the door looking down into her eyes; processing her seeing her every secret. She flinched under his scrutiny.

He reached out to touch her face, his thumb grazing across her full lips. Her breath breezed on his thumb, making him shiver. They both stood watching the other, trying to understand the complex emotions driving them.

His eyes were lasers burning into her, he leaned forward licking his lips making her lick her own. She was ready for his kiss, ready to feel the character of his mouth. She knew it would be rough and demanding just like he was. Alexa wanted nothing more than to press herself into the hard lines of his body, to have his arms circle and protect her from the darkness lonely nights bought. With two words he crushed her.

"Too bad," Connor let his hand drop and stepped back. His eyes became cool; making her think the heat she saw in them was imagined. The two things she feared the most showed in the contempt she saw reflecting in his gaze. He saw the filth and weakness she tried so hard to mask. She watched his bad boy swagger with guarded eyes as he turned and the darkness swallowed him. The engine roared into the night as she closed her door. She leaned her back against the heavy wood shutting her from the outside world.

"Damn it!" she pushed thoughts of Connor from her mind it was 12 am and she still hadn't called her dad. "He's going to kill me." She groaned. This was one of the few times she wished he wasn't so protective. She was tired and wanted to go to bed; she wanted to forget this day ever happened.

Alexa ran to her phone, it was strange that no one had called her all day. She pulled her phone out of her purse and it was off. "Oh hell," she turned it on 14 missed calls 3texts.

8Dad

2 David

2Janabelle

1 Gauge

1 Jenny

She rolled her eyes at the last what the hell could she have to say to her? She jumped when the phone vibrated and sang in her hand. Beyonce's "Daddy". Even the ring tone sounded angry.

"Hi papa," her voice was so small when she answered; she knew she was in trouble.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Dad's voice was rough with worry and fatigue.

"I'm sorry papa; I guess I shut off my phone."

"Why didn't you call me when you got home?"

"I just got home."

"You didn't work tonight."

"I took my car to Jerome's; it was giving me trouble,"

"I've been calling his shop-"

"I was in the garage with the mechanic."

"Why?"

"C'mon dad can we talk tomorrow I'm really beat." He heard the strain in her voice and relented.

"Buono, miei bebè," okay my baby. She heard the concern in his voice. She was ashamed of how she made him worry.

"I'm sorry papa, I just forgot to call you."

"Don't worry, principessa, we can talk tomorrow."

"Night dad." She yawned.

"Night bebè,"

After she hung up, she yawned again and started a shower. The steam filled her lungs. She only used hot water in her showers, trying but failing to scorch the grime off her skin. She scrubbed her skin raw but she could never get deep enough to cleanse herself. She was dirty and Connor of all people saw her! Saw what she was trying so hard to deny. Everyone can see it, everyone knows how dirty I am, he saw it, Connor saw it! Panic tightened her chest. She finally let the sob building inside her all day escape

Her knees weakened as she crouched in the tub, holding herself into a tight ball, rocking back and forth. She didn't care about the water turning cold. She finally stood, blindly going through the task of drying and dressing. She pulled on one of David's old t-shirts. She needed something safe and familiar. She crawled in bed she tried to fight the heaviness in her eyelids, but sleep claimed her. For the first time in months she had a peaceful sleep.