As It Seems Ch. 10

"Hey brat," David stood as she came to the table and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She tried not to flinch. David noticed. She could never hide anything from any of the Hadrians let alone David's hawk eyes. He took her hands in his, his thumbs rubbing against the knot forming disfiguring her."Are you okay?'' he asked pulling out her chair.

"Yes," she smiled weakly pushing back tears.

"Honey, honey...'' he said gently taking her wrist again. Anger boiled in him. She was his baby sister. He remembered their dad bringing her home. How small and scared she looked just like now.

"What? Don't look at me like that. I'm okay." There was a long silence as the lie seeped into the air around them making it heavy and tense.

"If you're okay then why have you been avoiding Pop or Ma?"

" how can I see them like this? You know what dad will do if he finds out," Alexa pulled her arm away. "Why cause so much drama over an accident, despite what everyone thinks it really was."

"They know something is up, when was the last time you went to see them? And what about how you're wrist is healing. It's crooked and I don't remember the last it wasn't swollen, you don't think mom won't notice that?" She was the only girl and the baby and they treated her like it.

Alexa stared at the table, she couldn't pretend she didn't know how worried they were. Like everyone else she avoided their calls and sent texts that she was okay.

"Just call Ma, put her out of their misery."

"How are the kids?" she asked tracing the new shape of her hand, coming to terms that her life had to change and she had to figure out what to do with herself. Waiting tables was just supposed to be until her wrist healed and that wasn't happening.

David relented letting her change the subject.

"Confused, I don't know what to say to them, Jen tells them plenty and most of what she tell them are lies." The bitterness dripped from his words burning into her like acid. She didn't know what to do or say.

"I'm sorry," this was her fault. If she hadn't confided in Jen. If she stayed out of their life. She should have left after Daniel was born. Instead she stayed it didn't matter that she thought she was helping. How did she know the bond with her new born nephew would feed into Jen's jealousy

"This isn't your fault," Alexa nodded staring at the table. Of course it was and of course he would say different He never admitted to her how hard she made his life. Starting the night papa brought her home. She couldn't sleep through the night. And David would come in and check on her, sleep on her floor to keep the bad dreams away. Papa held David responsible for her if anything happened to her on his watch. Now she was tearing his family apart. She didn't know until Jen told her and she held nothing back especially if had the potential to hurt. "Mom and Dad are coming to town next week."

"What? Why? Doesn't dad have a case? What am I going to do?"

"I told you they are worried, they know something is up. We should have told them when it happened."

"I know-I know but you know dad will Marcus I won't have even had to tell what happened. And how many times and how many ways do I have to tell you all it was an accident." She tried to calm down. She felt the now familiar shortness of breath and tunnel vision.

"We'll keep pop under control, I don't know why you're protecting that-"

"David," Alexa's voice was fragile and worn. David backed down. He wouldn't push she would talk when she was ready. And for her sake he hoped it was soon.

David sighed reaching into his pocket, "here Daniel got his school pictures in and he wanted to make sure you got one."

She smiled the first real one he's seen in awhile. "Oh my baby," she laughed at Daniel's bright goofy smile.

*

The dishes were cleared and washed. The frantic emotional morning was turning into a quiet lazy afternoon. Bella sat obediently letting Gauge clean her cuts and bruises. They were used to this shift in energy. "You're not going back." He said frowning in concentration gently cleaning the infection near her eye.

She nodded, "I know, I was going to go to a shelter after we talked."

"You're staying here-" his words were final.

"No Gauge, I can't-"

"Goddamn Bella I thought you were ready to stop fighting stop running." Gauge threw down the napkin and stood glaring down at her. She tried to smile up at him but the

split in her lip reopened dripping blood on the table.

"I am-I am I' m not running away. I just can't stay here. I need a to start on my own I need to know that I can-that I am good enough." she said turning her face wiping away the blood with the back of her hand.

"Good enough for what?" he demanded gently.

"You, I'm no good, I drive people to be their worst." She curled into herself. The truth carving into her stomach.

"Bella-"

"I'm the common denominator," her voice was raw.

"What are you talking about?"

"My parents...they had lives... they had potential."

"They had drug habits, you didn't make that decision for them. You didn't sell them-fuck! What have they been telling you?" Gauge kneeled in front of her desperately clutching her hands. "None of that had anything to do with you. Stay. Stay with me . I'll sleep on the couch, I'll stay in a shelter."

"No."

"Munchkin, save me some worry. Just stay here." He didn't say please but his eyes did she couldn't say no to him when he looked at her like that.

"Okay," she nodded.

He kissed her forehead. "Thank you." she curled into him. She never felt so warm and safe. So secure. They lay in his bed. Falling in and out of sleep. He whispered to her that she was the most beautiful perfect things in his life. She wouldn't think about if it didn't last. She would only listen the small voice in her heart gaining strength.

*

Connor's stomach grumbled as he listened to Terry's lame attempt to get a passing waitress's number. He couldn't believe he was hungry again he and Kenta left her mom's house a little over an hour ago and he was so stuffed he couldn't move. Now his mouth watered for something deep fried and covered with cheese.

"Oink, oink!!" Kenta laughed poking his ribs. He smacked her hand giving her a one finger salute. The pub was crowded with all sorts preppies, hippies, freaks, and geeks so they didn't look out of place. They looked like any other. But Re Run stood out everywhere he went.

"how are you treating my baby?" Connor demanded pulling out a cigarette. He was ready to jump up and run outside to stroke the steal and leather. He wondered if Re Run was to much for the current love of his life.

"Oh she likes how her new daddy rides her, she purrs for me all night." Re Run winked.

"Asshole," Connor growled.

"Bitch."

"Fuckhead."

"Children," Kenta jumped in hitting both of them in the back of their heads.

"Nah I'm just fucking with you man, I'll bring the bike by the shop so you take a look at it." big mike pat Connor's shoulder. Their conversations weaved between cases and jokes. Re Run digging into a biker gang that was selling drugs for Melendez Kenta worked in one Melendez's night clubs and terry was in charge of their toys.

"I'm going outside order for me." Connor tapped his cigarette and stood. He was starting to feel closed in and agitated. He knew what he needed. A nice long ride. He needed to feel the wind and road feel his bike between his thighs. For now a cigarette would have to do.

*

The music pounded in Alexa's head making it throb to its beat. She couldn't wait until her shift was over. This last table and she was done. "Okay what can I get for you folks?'' She put on her brightest smile for the rowdy bunch of misfits.

"How about you phone number on my napkin?" An awkward lanky kid smiled too broad and bright to be smooth. Alexa opened her mouth but wasn't sure how to respond he seemed like a harmless sweet kid so she didn't have the heart to shut him down.

"What happened, it looks bad?" The only woman in the group asked taking her off the hook and putting her on the spot all at once.

"Oh it's nothing, I just had an accident." She blushed absently rubbing her wrist.

"You have beautiful eyes," the woman said. Alexa stiffened. This was how it started. Woman were often jealous of her and started with compliments only to cut into her later. As much as she tried she couldn't find any hint of cattiness.

"Thank you." The woman was staring at her gauging her reaction. She turned her attention the other people at the table taking their orders.

"Oh baby girl, there's one more order he's going out for a smoke I'm sure he'd like to have you take his order personally" The woman said with a knowing smile.

"Ummm okay then I'll put these orders in and come back." she said not sure why the cryptic message made the hair on her neck stand on end. She asked one of the other girls to take over table. The pain in her head so intense she was seeing double.

"Food awesome," Connor dived into his and everyone ease's while everyone stared at Kenta.

"What was that about?" Re Run asked sitting back watching the waitress walk away.

"She was hot," Terry said barely caring that it was a different girl than the one who took their order.

"What the fuck are you assholes talking about?"

"I think you're girl is here." Kenta sat back watching his reaction. His blue eyes shot up to hers.

"Alexa?" She nodded slowly. Watching the change in him. The way his eyes darkened then brightened. The way he tensed then relaxed. "What was she doing here?"

"You know our waitress?" Terry asked, "man she was hot-" Connor's gaze frosted over him. Terry closed his mouth and rolled his eyes away in the opposite direction of Connor's hard glare.

"She took our food, if you want to talk to her hurry up her shift is over."

Connor shook his head, shook way the hope of seeing her and the disappointment of missing her. He was jumping ahead of himself, "how do you know it was her?" he demanded

"How could I not, the way you-"he didn't stay to hear what Kenta said.

Alexa untied her apron, she just put in her last ticket for her last table. "Oww," she gasped at the harsh grip around her wrist. Blood pulsed burning through her veins Everything around her was spinning. The room was a muffled blur of activity. She couldn't see who was dragging her or where they were taking her. A scream lodged in her throat refusing to come out. The breezed shocked her into a croaking choking protest. She wasn't inside anymore, she felt the breeze turn cool. She leaned against something cold and scratchy. "I'll scream." her voice was weak groggy her wrist trembled in large harsh hands.

"Stop the act, I told you we need to talk." She cowered at the harsh voice as she felt him lean closer to her. He leaned forward his arms on either side of her head.

"No-i-don't want to." She turned her face away the hard cold brick scratching her face.

"How many times do I have to apologize to you. This act has gone on long enough." Her skin prickled and crawled with the memory of his touch. How he bullied and manipulated, how he hurt. And the last time she was with him.

"No-" she knew he wouldn't take no for an answer. She could remember a time when he had. She knew couldn't protect herself. They were alone again and there was no big brother waiting in a cafe to threaten him with. "There's nothing to talk about. What are you doing at my work? How did you find it?"

"I followed you, I knew this was the only way you'd see me."

"You followed me! You followed me! You asshole! I told you I didn't want to see you. I told you to stay away from me!" Anger and disgust weakened her. She pressed herself into the wall wishing she could melt into it.

"You're over reacting as usual! and what are you doing working in a place like this any way look at you!" He waved a hand over her black polo shirt and pink pleated skirt.

Alexa flinched. "Maybe if you dressed like this for me-"that was all she could take she pushed him with all her strength.

"You have no right! I had a career!"

Marcus rolled his eyes. "A fucking hair dresser, like there aren't enough of those in the world." his words stung. She was proud of her work she was good at it. She loved making them feel beautiful.

"Fuck you! Look what you did to me!"

"Come on you can't put this all on me. If you would have just met me-"

"I didn't have to do anything, I-you-" Her voice was strained and heavy.

"There you go again-" she slapped his hand away as he poked a finger in his face.

"No this is done! I'm done do you know how much pain I'm in?! Look at this! Look at what you did-"

"Mother-fucker!" Alexa covered her mouth collapsing on her knees in relief. Connor had Marcus pinned against the wall. Holding his forearm to Marcus' throat. "You broke her wrist? You sorry piece of shit-I've been waiting to fucking get my hands on you " Connor pushed his forearm deeper into his adam's apple feeling the asshole strain to breath.

"Who the fuck are you?" Marcus wheezed.

"Connor?" she asked in disbelief. He glanced over at her taking in her tear streaked face and the way she massaged her skin as she slowly came to her feet.

"This has nothing to do with you," Marcus gasped.

"Wrong answer Mother-fucker!" Connor hissed his nostrils flaring.

"It was a fucking accident! What has that bitch been telling you?" He wished he could take back his harsh words when he saw the the flash in Connor's eyes.

"I suggest you just answer me without add libs. I'm having a hard enough time not crushing your wind pipe" Connor said through clenched teeth pushing his forearm harder. "Now tell me are the asshole who broke her wrist?"

Marcus nodded his vision was blurring and his body was getting heavy. "It was an accident." he mumble pathetically. Connor rolled his eyes pulling his fist back.

"No Connor don't, he's-he's telling the truth."

"Why are you protecting him?" His voice roared making her jump back.

"I-" he throat bobbled. She was still shocked to him there and even more shocked that she was happy to see him.

"She broke her wrist falling out of bed man! What did this bitch tell you?" Any hope of restraint from Connor dissolved and Alexa clenched desperately to his elbow. But she couldn't stop his fist from connecting to Marcus' face. It made a harsh disgusting bone cracking sound and she cringed. Alexa stumbled forward with the force and strength of Connor's hatred.

"Please Connor stop." She pleaded, cried, screamed as Connor pounded into Marcus. She was powerless again. She didn't want to call the cops. She knew Connor probably found enough trouble with out her calling it up for him. He was pierced and tattooed, Marcus was clean cut and upstanding. She tried to get between them Marcus was giving as good he could but he was no match for Connor, but she was pushed aside

"What the fuck?" Kenta came out of no where pulling the men apart without fear."What are you doin' man? Let him go."

"We were role playing and she fell out of bed I never fucking touched her! You fucking lying bitch what have you been telling people?" Marcus growled moving towards Alexa as Kenta held Connor back. "I wish I had you-"

"Enough! Leave or I'm gonna be the one beating your assComprende?" Kenta glared .

"Keep her she's a lousy lay anyway!" Marcus took off as fast as his new limp would carry him, mumbling about all women being lying bitches.

"Stay the fuck away from her or next time I-"

"Nathan!" Kenta had to use all her strength to hold him back. The use of his first name tamed him just enough for her direct him to Alexa. His heart clamped empathy replaced anger. Though the heat still showed in his eyes.

Alex's face was on fire. If she could melt into a crack of the sidewalk she would. Connor's gaze was blue fire as they seared into her. She wanted to apologize, although she wasn't sure why. She couldn't meet their probing stares.

"You're okay now honey Connor's going to take you home." Kenta's smile was reassuring. "Take her home." She glared at Connor but he didn't notice. The only thing he saw was Alexa shivering avoiding their eyes. He shook out his bloody bruised hands glaring at Marcus' rapidly retreating outline.

"Fuck," he cursed kissing her hair wrapping his jacket around to ease her trembling. "You're okay, baby." he kissed the top of her head again, he waved off Kenta making slow progress to Alexa's car. He drove her home in silence.

He pulled into her apartment. They sat in her car in awkward silence. He got out and opened the door for her, "C'mon."he gently tugged her out. She followed him absently, blind and numb to everything around her. He pulled her inside and sat her down. He cleaned himself up and sat down next to her.

"Alexa," he whispered her name smoothing her hair. Her name sounded so foreign coming from his mouth. It didn't hold the usual edge of bitterness or hatred. He said her name again and she lowered her eyes. Tears collected on her lashes and she hugged herself tight. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling.

"G-go away," she curled into herself. She was so tired, she didn't care any more. She just wanted sleep and never wake up.

He wrapped her in his arms whispering her name promising to keep her safe. She pulled away and he pulled her back. Her breathing increased coming faster and faster. Marcus taunted her thoughts. It wasn't Connor offering her comfort anymore it was Marcus forcing her. She cried she scratched she fought

Connor didn't hold her down. He let her fists pound on him until she exhausted herself. He was afraid restraining her would set her deeper in her internal fight. He winced when her right hand crashed hard on his chest. He could hear pop and bubble, it was red flaming red and so deformed he wasn't sure it would ever heal. She collapsed in his arms Marcus' ghost finally exercised.

"Tell me how this happened," Connor's voice was slow exuding false calm. He knelled in front of her looking up he held her hands gently firmly kissing her damaged skin. She trusted him trusted those cerulean eyes, shame choked her. "Alexa, tell me how he hurt you." she nodded everyone's guessing game about happened her ate through her and what damage could Connor do now that hadn't already? Maybe it was the sleep weighing sown her eyes that weakened her resolve to keep her secret.

"He-Marcus told you. It was an accident. It-it-was. It was my fault."

"Baby girl..." he sighed rubbing her back.

"I don't like-" she bit her lip hiding her head in his chest. "he wanted to spice things up, he said I was frigid that I need to loosen up-that we should role play. I didn't want to. One night we were together and I fell asleep. He-he-he," her breathing sped again and the world spun.

Connor's voice brought her back calmed her. She swallowed hard, "he cuffed me to the bed. At first I didn't know what was happening. I woke up and-and I panicked. He climbed on top of me and I was trying to get him off. I told him no and he wouldn't stop-he didn't stop. I fought him and we fell off the bed. My wrist snapped." she was quiet after that. It wasn't the story he expected but it didn't make him hate Marcus any less. Instead of helping and nurturing a girl a apparently petrified of intimacy he tormented and bullied her. He wished he had more time to clean the street with that asshole.

"Has he been bothering you?" he was impressed at how calm he sounded.

"he did but I-I moved and changed my number. He saw me at the book store today and he said he followed me. He knows where I live Connor! he-"

"Easy he's not going to hurt you, I won't let him." he promised and was relieved when she nodded sleepily.

Connor listened to her breath steady he listened to her little sleep noises. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bed tucking her in tight kissing her forehead. He stood to leave. She mumbled in her sleep.