Ashley's Deal

He understood that. That was their thing, both cared more about careers than anything else.

He stayed with her for ten minutes while his PA hovered at the door, saying he had a conference call, then kissed her and said he'd see her tonight and went back up to his office.

Ashley sat at her desk and thought about what she'd said to Rose. That Ashley wanted her, that Rose was hot.

Maybe she had concussion, or maybe she'd just had a fright. Or maybe she'd had a fright and that was enough to make her say something that was actually true.

She'd never said anything like that to anyone before, not even to a man. She'd never been so direct. Perhaps that meant something.

Or perhaps it was just a bang on the head.

*

Life went back to normal. Ashley untangled her insurance, and got a new car, and the police came and took a statement. She worked, and the cut on her face healed, and she thought about Rose almost every day.

Thought about Rose, and about the deal with David, and masturbated twice in the shower imagining what sex with Rose might be like.

She regretted not having found out who Rose was. Not getting a card of her own.

She touched herself, and had little daydreams in meetings, and tried to work out exactly how she could tell David she did want to use their deal after all.

And for three weeks she didn't hear from Rose.

She had almost decided Rose wasn't going to call, that Ashley had been too weird, or too pushy, or Rose just wasn't interested, because probably most people weren't, when Rose phoned.

She said it was Rose from the car crash, that Ashley had given her a card, and Ashley almost dropped the phone, and her mouth went dry, and she didn't know what to say.

"I did," Ashley said in the end. She looked at the wall in front of her and thought about green eyes, and felt like she was about to start an affair.

"I just wondered how you were. If you were okay?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"Oh yeah, fine."

Silence for a moment.

"Hey, um," Rose said. "This is a bit weird, but I know someone who's having a party, open bar and shit. I wondered if you wanted to go."

Ashley didn't know what to say.

"Yeah," Rose said, after a moment. "Sorry. Look, I must have misunderstood..."

"No," Ashley said. "Not at all. Just... shit, when is it? I need to check my book."

"Your book?"

"My dairy. Just give me a sec."

She threw a pencil at the window between her and Mia. She knew it pissed Mia off whenever she did it, but needed her straight away.

Mia opened the door looking annoyed.

"My book," Ashley said to Mia, and, "When is it?" into the phone.

"Saturday."

Mia was mucking around, was still not back.

Fuck it, Ashley thought. "Yeah, I'd love to."

"You're free?"

She had no idea, because she couldn't see her diary. One huge advantage to her and David both working in the same building was Mia and his David's PA could put all their weekend social crap into both their diaries together. Probably Ashley was free, and if she wasn't, it would probably just be one of David's partner things, so she could slip out if she needed to.

"I'm good. Where is it?"

Rose told her, said she'd be there by nine, and that she'd find Ashley there.

Ashley wanted to tell her she'd meant what she said at the accident, but Rose was gone before she could.

*

Ashley had a dinner with some of David's friends the night of Rose's party. She looked at the name and was pretty sure it was one of David's law school friends, now at one of the other big firms. She could leave early.

A lot of David's friends still weren't completely comfortable around Ashley, even after all this time. No-one ever called her a trophy or talked down to her, but there was something there, a distance.

Since she'd been with David, she didn't really have friends. She worked a lot, enough that she lost touch with college people and should have been becoming close to her new colleagues. She couldn't, because they all knew who she was living with, and in their heads she could whisper a name in bed at night and have them fired. For her part, she could never forget they might be using her, pretending to like her so they could get a line to the partners. It made her life lonely. No-one asked her to do anything after work, or went to lunch with her, and especially no-one flirted with her while they made coffee.

She worked harder instead.

Ashley had Mia talk to David's PA and see if they could move the dinner a little earlier, and when she next checked, later that afternoon, the time had changed.

"Hey," she said to David that night. "I'm going to a party after dinner on Saturday."

"Us or you?" he said.

"I thought me. It's the woman from the car crash. Someone's having a party, she thought I might want to go. Its probably not your kind of thing."

He nodded because it was true.

"Have fun," he said. Then he stopped and looked at her for a while. "This woman?" he said. "Is it going to be this woman?"

Ashley hesitated. "Maybe," she said. "I don't know."

"Oh," he said. "Finally."

"Is that okay?"

"I think it is."

"You didn't expect this?"

"Not really, no."

"I'll just see. I'll find out."

"Of course," he said, and kissed her.

She looked at him for a while and wondered if she should ask if he was sure. She wondered if he was still sure, if he still wanted her to do this.

She didn't think he'd tell her if he'd changed his mind. David stuck to his deals. Even if he hated the thought of it now, he wouldn't ask her to stop.

She wasn't sure if she was taking advantage of him by not checking.

She looked at him, watching him read, and was fairly sure he didn't care. He didn't seem to be hiding anything, didn't seem worried.

She wasn't sure how she felt, going off to meet a woman perhaps to have sex, but David didn't care, so Ashley decided she shouldn't, either.

*

Ashley wasn't sure what to wear to Rose's party, but she had to overdress for David's friends. Being with David made everything complicated. If she didn't look classy and older, she looked like a trophy, and that would stay with her forever. She might need to ask any of these people for a job one day, or to negotiate with them for a client tomorrow.

At nine she stood up and excused herself and said it was nice to see everyone again.

David went with her to the door, and said quietly, "I love you. A lot."

"Me too," she said. "And thank you. For this."

"I hope it goes well," he said. "Whatever it is you want to happen."

"I'm really not sure."

"You'll work it out," he said, and kissed her. "Have fun."

She looked at him and decided he really meant it. "I love you," she said. "I really do."

She put on her coat, asked the waiter to being her another bottle of the red, not to open it, and took it with her, in case it was that kind of party.

*

Ashley had been a student the last time she went to a party that wasn't to do with work, and she still almost expected people passed out in bushes out the front. She'd been a bit worried she wouldn't fit in, or that wine was the wrong thing to bring, but she wanted to see Rose, and went anyway.

There were cars in the street. Some noise, but mostly voices, outside around the back. It wasn't that different to what she was used to. Soft jazz and voices rather than pounding bass and annoyed neighbors.

The front door was open, so she walked in and said to the nearest person that Rose had invited her. No-one seemed to care.

There was a big open room full of people, noisy and crowded and fun. A smallish house, a few rooms closed off and a few too many people in those that were left, a shortage of places to sit so people were on the stairs and the floor and were taking other people's spots when they moved. It was summer, the night was warm, so there were party dresses and lots of bare skin. Ashley was suddenly glad she'd worn what she had.

She edged her way through the crowd, looking for Rose. There was a self-serve bar on the kitchen counter. She left the wine and poured a vodka into a glass. She was nervous, not knowing anyone, and it had been a long time since she walked in a room of strangers like this.

She wondered where to look for Rose. The stairs were crowded, and the rooms inside were packed. She decided try outside, because it was easier to get to, and started wriggling through the crowd.

The deck was big. There was more space out here. A few smokers standing around, and a faint smell of pot too. A couple were making out in the shadows. There was a view of the lights below them, and of other houses through the trees on the scrubby hillside. There was some light from inside, but otherwise it was dim.

Ashley looked around, and found Rose. She was a little surprised it had been that easy. Although maybe Rose had been waiting somewhere she could be easily found.

Rose was wearing jeans and a tee shirt. She was sitting on deck's railing, holding a beer bottle, smoking a cigarette, and talking to the guy next to her. There was quite a high drop behind her, but she didn't seem bothered. She had the same kind of make-up as in the car, all heavy and dark around her eyes, hardly any otherwise.

Ashley was surprised by the cigarette. She hadn't been around anyone who smoked in years.

Ashley went over and said, "Hey."

Rose smiled, and kept smiling for a bit too long. "I didn't know if you'd come."

"I had a dinner thing. But I'm here."

"In your diary?"

Ashley looked at Rose. She wasn't sure what that meant, why it was worth saying, but she supposed not everyone was as ruled by their calendars as lawyers were. "Yeah, in my diary."

Rose grinned. "Nice dress. You look good."

"Thanks. You smoke."

"I do."

Ashley realized they'd been staring at each other, and glanced around for the guy, but he seemed to have wandered off. "I didn't see him go," she said.

"Me neither."

"So yeah," Ashley said. "I'm here."

"You are."

"I'm here and I still mean everything I said the other week."

Rose looked at her, and smiled, and said, "Okay."

Just okay. Not that Ashley had made a mistake. Not that Rose didn't care. That was a good sign, Ashley thought.

Ashley stood in front of Rose and looked at her eyes. Rose didn't seem to mind, just sipped her drink and looked at Ashley and seemed to be thinking.

Ashley still wasn't completely sure why she was here. She wasn't sure what she planned to do with Rose, or how much she wanted from her. She wasn't sure what Rose wanted either, and still had an awful feeling Rose might just be being friendly.

Except Rose had thought Ashley was hitting on her at the accident, and was here anyway, so she couldn't just think it was friendly. Unless she was polite. Ashley had never been hit on by a woman as strongly as she was hitting on Rose, but she'd always liked to think she wouldn't be offended, even if she wasn't interested. Kind and maybe amused, she'd hoped, but not offended.

Exactly like Rose was being right now.

Ashley wasn't sure what she was feeling, but something was there. A spark. Enough Ashley wanted to try. Enough Rose was the one woman in two years Ashley seemed to want to chase.

"You could sit down," Rose said.

Ashley glanced at the drop and shook her head.

"Okay," Rose said. "Or not."

Ashley looked at Rose. At her eyes. She thought about what she'd felt right after the accident, and the things she'd said.

She thought about not being sure she was even here for sex. But that she wanted to be here for sex.

She thought about taking chances, and that she had nothing to lose, and she thought about how she was still thinking about Rose, undecided. Still thinking must mean something. She felt something quite complicated about Rose, and complicated was a small step from needing, and that must mean something too.

She thought about kissing Rose, and realized she wanted to. So, she thought, she might as well get it over with. Try, and see what happened.

All Rose could do was slap her, and say no.

Ashley leaned forward and kissed Rose.

Kissed her as carefully, and slowly, and tenderly as she could. Rose tasted of warmth and smoke and beer, and she put her hand on Ashley's neck, and kissed Ashley back.

Ashley was actually surprised.

Rose opened her mouth, and Ashley did too and then got interested enough she stopped worrying about the details. Rose sat on the edge of a cliff and kissed Ashley and made Ashley wet like she hadn't been from first meeting someone in years.

They kissed for a while. They didn't touch any more than their mouths.

Ashley decided this was a bit public, eventually, and stepped back.

"So there is a thing here," Rose said. "I wasn't sure."

"There's a thing. I think."

"I wasn't sure if you were really hitting on me. Or just concussed."

"I wasn't either. I'm still not."

Rose kept looking at her.

"There's something you should know," Ashley said. "I live with my boyfriend."

Rose waited. Not annoyed, Ashley thought, but waiting. Definitely waiting.

"It's complicated," Ashley said. "But it doesn't make any difference. Not to this."

"It makes a difference."

"He doesn't mind. If it's a girl."

"It still makes a difference," Rose said, and just sat there,

Rose wasn't telling her to go away, and Ashley didn't know what to do next.

She kissed Rose again. It was as hot and breathless and tingly as the first time. Rose put her arm around Ashley, and Ashley stroked the tops of Rose's legs, through her jeans, and felt warmth and hard muscle.

"You have a boyfriend," Rose said. "No bullshit."

"Yep."

"And he really doesn't mind?"

"Nope."

"It's not just that you don't tell him?"

"I tell him."

"I don't think I'd really be into him being there."

"It's not like that."

"Oh."

Ashley kissed her again. To stop her asking so many questions.

"I want you," Ashley said into Rose's mouth, "I really fucking want you."

They stopped kissing again. Rose stopped. Ashley stood there and looked at her and Rose looked around. At the people, at the lights.

"Not sure?" Ashley said. "Because of the boyfriend thing?"

"Pretty sure."

Silence for a moment.

"You okay?" Ashley said.

"Yep."

Rose sat. Ashley looked at her and started feeling nervous. Because this was new, and she didn't actually know how to do this with a woman, and because she might be about to be turned down. To stop herself thinking, she kissed Rose again, put her hands underneath Rose's shirt, scraped her nails lightly up and down Rose's back.

"Wait," Rose said. "Not here."

Ashley looked around. There was a path off the deck, down the side of the house. "Down there?"

Rose nodded.

They went down the path. Carefully, feeling their way. Rose went first, had flat shoes. Ashley took hers off, felt sharp stones underfoot. Then cool grass. It was dark, hard to see.

They stopped where it was darker, and leaned against a wall. They didn't touch. Ashley wasn't sure what was going on here, or what she was meant to do. She hadn't tried to seduce a woman before.

Saying so was probably a good way to start. "You're so fucking hot I want to cry," she said.

Rose grinned. "You talk too much."

More kissing. Rose was more comfortable down here, Ashley thought. Away from her friends, who might be watching. She was touching more, stroking Ashley's arms and hair. Ashley was more comfortable as well, without an audience. She kissed Rose's neck, licked it slowly, made Rose's breath go all uneven and loud in Ashley's ear.

"Wait," Rose said. "Hold on a bit."

Ashley stopped.

"Just slow down a bit, okay," Rose said.

Because of David, Ashley assumed. Rose's reluctance was a little odd. Ashley had thought she was throwing herself at someone, and that was enough. Maybe Rose needed to be talked into it too.

Ashley nodded and moved back a little. Rose got cigarettes out of her pocket, got a lighter. Her hands were trembling just a little bit. She held up a cigarette. "Do you care?"

"Nope. You okay?"

"Yeah. Just..."

"Not expecting that?"

Rose nodded. "I don't know you."

"Do you need to?"

Rose shrugged.

Rose lit the cigarette, and still had shaky hands. "Let's walk somewhere."

They went further down the garden, to a fence. There was a pool behind it, round and landscaped and tiled. They could see over it from up on the slope.

"Want a swim?" Ashley said.

Rose looked at the house they'd come from, at the next door house. "I'm pretty sure that's the neighbors pool."

"Maybe," Ashley said.

"There's a fence."

"You have to have a fence, don't you?"

"It's closer to the house next door."

"So?" Ashley said.

"You want to break in..."

"Not break. Climb the fence."

"That's trespassing."

"Yep. Want to or not?"

Rose grinned, threw the end of the cigarette away. "Sure."

*

There was enough light from the moon and nearby houses to see what they were doing. The fence was high and wide. A wall. It was concrete, difficult to climb.

"Shit," Ashley said, looking upwards. "Got another plan?"

"Not really."

Ashley walked along the wall, peering up at it. Rose followed. They stopped and kissed for a while. Ashley's back against the wall, Rose the one pushing forward now. Rose had strong arms. Ashley was touching them, feeling hard muscle in her shoulders. She moved her hands further. Rose felt fit. She almost had abs. There was muscle under Ashley's hands, not much softness.

"Could you lift me up?" Ashley said.

"Probably."

"I could pull you up."

"Yeah," Rose said. "I think I can get over on my own."

Ashley looked at Rose. "So why not just do that."

"Because you'll still be on the wrong side."

"So lift me up first. Climb and then pull me up."

Rose nodded, and looked up at the fence. Then jumped and pulled herself up. Just lifted, like a chin up, and rolled onto the top of the wall.

Ashley was impressed.

Rose lay along the top and reached back down. "I'll lift."

"You'll lift me?"

"Yep."

Ashley held up her bag. "Hold that."

Rose took it.

"Don't throw it over," Ashley said.

"I'm not stupid."

Ashley reached up and grabbed Rose's hand. Rose pulled, hard, then suddenly let go. "You have to jump a little bit on your own," she said.

"Sorry," Ashley said. "Try again."

Rose heaved and this time Ashley scrambled up enough to pull herself onto the top of the fence.

That was hot, Ashley thought. Rose hauling her up, being strong enough to do so, that turned her on. She didn't know why.

"Okay," she said, "That wasn't so bad."

They sat there, looking over at the water. It was dark and clear and looked cool. The air was warm, just muggy enough the water looked nice.

"Think we can get back out if we jump down?" Ashley said.

Rose grinned. "I can."

"Think we'll get caught?"

They looked up at the house. It was dark, and seemed a little way away.

"Not if we're quiet," Rose said.

Ashley nodded.

"You know this is actually breaking the law, don't you?" Rose said.

"Yep."

"But we're going to?"

"Yep."

Rose slid down, then reached up and said, "Put your foot on my hands if you want."

Ashley threw her bag down, then lowered herself, let Rose grab her foot, and slid down too. Then she looked up. "It looks higher from this side."

"Yep."

"Is there a gate?"

"Don't think so."

"Um. Fuck?"

Ashley looked at Rose. Looked at the water. They went over to the edge of the pool. Ashley tried to walk quietly, which was easy in bare feet. Rose was being quiet too. The water was still, the moon quite bright. She could hear crickets, traffic, noise from the party next door. She looked at the house up above her. No curtains seemed open, no lights on.

"Go on," Rose said.

"You first."

"Yeah, fuck that. You get in if you want to."

Ashley nodded slowly. "Okay. Keep an eye out."