At My Window Sad and Lonely

The line went live on the other end, but there was no hello.

"Jerry?" Laurie said uncertainly. "Jerry, if you're there, listen. I don't know what Dan might have told you about me, but it's none of his business and it probably isn't even true! I still want to see you again, and it's not his place to stop that! Okay?"

An awkward silence followed, and at last there was a response. But it wasn't Jerry. "Actually, Laurie, it is my place to make the rules about staying at my apartment. And you're off limits."

"DAN?! Does he even know you're answering his phone?"

"Probably not. He's out getting drunk somewhere because he's so pissed off at me. But it had to be done."

"What on earth is your problem?" All of Laurie's earlier resolve was out the window - she'd let him bait her worse than ever - but she didn't care. "Why are you doing this to us?!"

"Because I care about my cousin, and I know what's good for him and what isn't. You think I didn't notice your little stunt flashing him in the dining room the other night? He's just a kid, Laurie. I don't want him getting mixed up with a woman who'd pull a thing like that."

"He's twenty-three, Dan, he can make his own decisions about that, and he has."

"And I've made mine," Dan declared. "If you see him again, he's out of my apartment for good. Then he can either get a Greyhound ticket home, or sleep on the street. You want to be responsible for that, Laurie?"

"You bastard!" Laurie hung up before she could give him the satisfaction of hearing her cry.

She retreated to the couch and turned on the television for background noise, and she wept. Not for long, but enough to feel even more of a loser than she'd been feeling most of the time for the past nine months. She did feel better once the tears had come and gone, and her resolve returned. This wasn't over, there were other friends she could call on to find a place for Jerry to stay, and maybe she could even get him a job at the restaurant. Maybe even her own job - with any luck at all, she wouldn't need it after tomorrow!

On that cheerful note, Laurie lost herself in a movie and a TV-dinner, and put both Jerry and his evil cousin from her mind for the time being. She did her best to drown her lingering sorrows in the rest of the wine coolers, and was well into the last one and thinking of going to bed when her phone rang. The number read "UNKNOWN".

"Hello?"

"Congratulations on the interview!"

"Jerry?!" Laurie looked over her shoulder in a panic, but Joanna was shut away in her bedroom.

"Dan's always been a dipshit, ever since we were kids. Don't mind him."

"I have to mind him, he said he'd kick you out! He doesn't know you're calling, does he?!"

"Of course not," Jerry said. "That's why it's not my real number. I bought a cheapo mobile at Radio Shack. The idiot'll never know."

"You're not at home, then."

"No, he probably told you I went out drinking. That's what I told him I was doing. Let the bastard think he's winning, that's how I've been handling him as long as I can remember."

"God, what is his problem, anyway?!"

"He's the baby of his family, but older than the rest of us cousins. We were the only ones he ever felt he could boss around. He's been milking that for all it's worth as long as I can remember. Always has to have his way with us since he never got it with anyone else."

"He's sure got his way with Joanna." Laurie's voice dropped to a whisper on the mention of her friend's name, and again she looked over her shoulder at the bedroom door to see if she'd been detected. There was no sign that she had, but she got up and went into the bathroom again just in case.

"I know," Jerry said. "She seems like a really nice gal, but the way he talks about her...yeah, I don't know what she sees in him any more than you do, Laurie. Anyway. Is that offer still open for dinner this week?"

"Do you think we should risk it? If Dan finds out..."

"Laurie, you don't seem like the type to give in to a bully."

"I'm not, but I'm worried about you. Speaking of which, I've been thinking, I do have some male friends who have a couch you could crash on. I could ask."

"Don't worry about that for now. I mean, thanks, I appreciate it, but I want you to focus on that interview for now."

"Thanks! It's only hours away, after all. God, you're right, Jerry, I really shouldn't let him take the wind out of my sails over that. Just getting out my work clothes to iron felt so good today. It'll be a treat to wear a suit again."

"Hope you'll also be wearing something special underneath," Jerry teased.

Laurie laughed. "Hadn't thought of that! But yeah, why not?" Sensing an opportunity for some gentle teasing, she continued just above a whisper. "I do have some nice lacy little things I haven't worn since...since you know when. It'd be a kick to put those on again."

"Why don't you put them on now and come to the window?"

"You're outside?!" Laurie opened the bathroom door and rushed out through the dining room and living room, and pushed the curtain aside. Sure enough, there he was, perched on a bench by the bus stop. He waved up at her with a grin.

"Now, how about it?" he asked. "I promise I won't push you on this again if I'm making you uncomfortable. But I find it hard to believe I am after Saturday night!"

Laurie nodded and said, "You got it. Just wait there a minute."

She hung up the phone and drew the curtains, and went into the dining room to find the box with her favorite lingerie. She had made a point of never even unpacking it much less wearing it since moving in with Joanna, as it was the very epitome of all she had lost, and she'd had every intention of letting it remain packed away until she could get out on her own again. But the things Jerry had awakened in her had all that going straight out the window.

It didn't take long for Laurie to find the matching fire-engine red bra and panties that she had already been thinking were a good match for her new dress. As she put them on, it occurred to her to wear the dress as well and do a striptease for Jerry. But she decided against it -- the dress could wait until their celebratory dinner after she got her new job! Instead she threw her bathrobe on over her undies but didn't tie the sash, and returned to the window holding it closed only with her hand.

Jerry was gazing up expectantly, and his face broke into that grin she was already falling in love with as she appeared in the window. There was a woman walking her dog down the opposite sidewalk, but Laurie gambled that she wouldn't look back in her direction. With a playful wiggle of her hips, she tore the robe open and shrugged it off, and returned Jerry's horny gaze with a welcoming look in her eyes.

She tried to strike a sultry pose and keep a straight face, but couldn't help dissolving into nervous laughter and wiggling again and again as she drank in his adoring looks. Her body absolutely ached to feel his hands all over it, but knowing the consequences that would bring at the moment, Laurie contented herself with the sense of a minor victory they were winning over Dan with her little show.

Jerry blew her a kiss, and Laurie mocked catching it and smothering it against her breasts. She was not surprised to find her nipples were hard, and she followed up that discovery by rubbing them playfully, to Jerry's visible delight. All at once his face changed, and he waved both hands to one side. Someone was coming, Laurie realized just in time to duck back behind the curtain. For a horrible moment she was sure Joanna was standing in the bedroom doorway, but as the dark room came into focus that fear proved unfounded.

Immensely relieved, Laurie flopped down onto the couch and ripped her panties away, and went to town on herself even more intensely than the last time. While she was busy playing with herself, she heard a text message come in on her phone -- that could wait!

When at last Laurie was satiated and relaxed, she checked the message. From 'Unknown' again: "Thank you! Good luck on the interview!"

But no indication of when they could see each other again, Laurie thought sadly. With nothing to do about that, she took off her bra and wrapped herself in the blanket for the night.

Mr. Cavanagh, the older gentleman who greeted Laurie at the office early the next afternoon, had her thinking twice about her choice of clothes. Did the short skirt make her look too flirtatious? Was he a dirty old man who would hire her for the wrong reasons?

After a rush of those and other panicked questions, though, he proved to be a gentleman who had far more interest in her resume than her clothes. Inevitably, though, a discussion of her experience at the bank had led to the most dreaded part of the conversation. "Got burned out on banking, did you?" he asked. "What have you been up to for the past eight months, then?"

"Waiting tables. I got laid off." It never got any less humiliating to say, but a few failed interviews earlier on had convinced Laurie that the truth was the least-bad option.

"Happens to the best of us," Mr. Cavanagh said, and to her surprise he gave her an approving smile. "I could tell you some stories about my bartending days, too."

"I have certainly learned a lot at my new job." Laurie hoped she didn't sound as defensive as she felt. "Even if it's not directly relevant to a job like this --"

"Oh, but it is, Laurie, don't you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we learn a lot from our failures, and from doing what we need to do to get by. That kind of down-to-earth experience is just what this firm needs, if you ask me."

Laurie was elated. "Well, then, I guess I am asking you," she said with a laugh.

Mr. Cavanagh joined in. "I'll tell you what, Laurie, there's only one thing I want you to change in the next round: don't be apologetic at all about where you're working now. The partners love stories like yours, as long as people don't act like they're anything to be ashamed of.

"The next round?" Laurie felt near tears of joy. "Oh, Mr. Cavanagh, I...thank you."

"No need to thank me. You know that bartending gig I mentioned?"

"Long before you found your way here, no doubt," Laurie said.

"Nope. Three years ago. We all hit rough spots in our careers, Laurie." He stood up and shook her hand. "I will be in touch about a time for the next round. No later than next week, I'd say."

And Laurie was off for a celebratory drink. As she sat at the bar, sipping her cocktail and ignoring the inevitable flirtatious looks from guys down the bar, she got her phone out of her purse and longed for it to ring. It didn't. She didn't dare call Jerry in case Dan was with him, and besides, she soon recalled, she didn't have his secret number anyway. But that only further inflamed her imagination of what she would do to Jerry first chance she got. Those salacious thoughts, coupled with her growing frustration as the phone just sat there, persuaded her to order a second and then a third round. When Laurie finally paid her tab and got up to go home, the room was spinning and she nearly opted for a taxi. But the drinks hadn't been cheap and the walk home wasn't that far. The luxury of a ride home, she concluded, was one more vestige of her former life that would just have to wait a little longer.

The walk home in the winter chill sobered Laurie up a bit, but she was still rather tipsy when she arrived back at Joanna's place. She was rather glad of that when she opened the door to find Dan grinning up at her from the couch, as she was too far gone to give him the disdain he'd earned.

"Hey, kiddo," Dan said. "Getting a very early start on the weekend, are we?"

"Celebrating," Laurie corrected, smiling through her disgust.

"A job or a man?"

"Both." Laurie set her jaw and walked to the dining room to change her clothes, careful to never look at Dan.

"It'd better be someone new, Laurie!" he called out as she slammed the dining room door.

Leaning against the door with her fists clenched in rage, Laurie heard Joanna's voice coming from the bedroom. "What's her problem?"

"Dunno. Time of the month?" Dan said.

"God, you're such a little boy!" Joanna chirped. Inflaming Laurie's outrage further, she burst into that girlish giggle she always served up in response to Dan's most offensive comments. Laurie took a deep breath and took her suit coat off, and found her mobile phone in her purse. As long as she didn't say Jerry's name, they'd never know...

Perhaps because she was drunk, this time Laurie got as far as shuffling through the recent calls to Joey's real phone -- the one Dan had evidently confiscated -- before she remembered what would likely happen if she dialed that number. Just as well that she cool off a bit, she admitted to herself, and she set down the phone and undressed for a shower.

It was a long shower, thanks to the long afternoon and the cold walk home and the sense that she could never wash off the filth of Dan's leering looks and comments. By the time she finally stepped out to dry off, there was, thankfully, no sound from the living room. Laurie put on a rugby shirt and sweatpants with no underwear, and heated up a can of soup for dinner. She wasn't sure if it was the successful interview or the victory of keeping the calls with Jerry under wraps or that she had simply stopped caring, but somehow in her extremely modest state she didn't feel the least bit pathetic for a change.

The booze had worn off but the hurt from Dan had not, when Laurie's phone rang with the "Unknown" showing on the screen. She leapt up and turned the television off, and raced to the window with the phone still ringing in her hand. Sure enough, he was out there on the frigid sidewalk. Laurie waved at him as she answered the phone. "You look so chilly out there!" she said.

"Never mind that. How'd it go?"

"Awesome! He's invited me back for a second interview, sometime next week!"

"Just in time for Valentine's Day!"

"Yeah, I can hardly wait." Laurie's melancholy came back in force on that thought, and her exclamation came out sounding bitter when she hadn't intended it to.

Jerry laughed it off. "A little sarcasm there, dear?"

"Believe it or not, no," Laurie said. "I used to hate Valentine's Day, but after our night out last week, I was looking forward to it, before Dan...you know."

"So was I," Jerry said. "And speaking of whom, I don't know how soon they'll be getting back from dinner." He looked over his shoulder. "Doesn't look like you're dressed for a show anyway. No offense."

"None taken," Laurie said. "But you're wrong!" With her free hand, she pulled her sweatpants down to her knees and pulled her shirt up, putting her bush on unfettered display. Her breasts remained hidden, but she could feel her nipples getting hard as Jerry once again drank in her womanhood from the cold outdoors.

"Beautiful," Jerry cooed. "I sure wish I could touch it."

"So do I," Laurie said. "And return the favor. If I do get the job..."

"You will! Oh, and I meant to tell you, I got a call from a temp agency today. It's a start."

"Good for you!" Laurie kept to herself that she knew temp work would never pay well enough to get him out of Dan's place on his own -- but it was a start. "Oops, behind you!" Spotting a man walking up the sidewalk across the street, Laurie hastily pulled her pants back up.

Jerry turned around, and then began shuffling up the street past Laurie's window. "They're down the street, I think! I can't tell for sure it's them, but I'd better get lost in case it is." He cast a longing look up at her as he passed her, close enough that Laurie could see the glint of his blue shirt collar just visible as his coat jostled with the walk. "My God, you're beautiful!" he said. "I love these shows so much!"

"I've got to see you, Jerry," Laurie said, feeling her own longing now taking over as he passed so close by. "How about Saturday? Come to my restaurant for lunch, and I can join you for the afternoon."

"What if Dan or Joanna see me there?"

"They won't. I told Joanna when I started, I didn't want any of my old friends seeing me in my crummy job."

"That wouldn't stop Dan."

"Yes it would. He wouldn't pick on me without Joanna for an audience."

Jerry sighed. "I'll try. But I think it'll just be even more frustrating when we still won't have any privacy."

"Frustration makes the heart grow fonder," Laurie said. "Or something."

"I like the way you think. Good night."

Jerry had been right, Laurie knew a few minutes later when she heard a key in the lock. By then she had resettled herself on the couch, and avoided any more stupid comments from Dan when he and Joanna waltzed in because she was busy with another phone call, to an ex colleague. She had managed to time the call just right to put to bed any suspicions that she was talking to Jerry, for Dan her hear say, "Hello, Brian?" just as he stepped into the apartment.

"Laurie, is that you?"

"Yes, how are you?"

"Glad to hear from you! We still miss you! The bank is dead anymore, I'm leaving as soon as I find a new job. I'm sure you have by now -- is your new office hiring?"

"Yeah, hiring busboys, if you must know."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Laurie."

"Don't be, I had a great interview this afternoon." That, she noted with satisfaction, was the last thing Dan heard before Joanna gave him a playful push into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"Well, good luck with that," Brian said. "So what did I do to deserve your call?"

"I saw that e-mail you sent out last week, about renting out your spare bedroom?"

"Oh, Laurie, I'm sorry, but it's male only. The landlady is a real prude about this stuff."

"No, I know, Brian." Laurie looked up over the couch to make sure the bedroom door was closed. It was. "I've got a male friend who needs a place to stay. I'm not sure he can make the rent, but if I get this job, I can pay it for him for a while."

It was murder for Laurie to keep it to herself about Brian's room through her two more illicit phone calls with Jerry before the weekend. But it wouldn't do for her to make the offer before she had the job, and she suspected Jerry would say no if she didn't ease him into the idea anyway. And so Saturday morning found her still deliciously nervous about the whole thing as she wolfed down her heart-shaped pancakes in the restaurant's staff canteen just before the breakfast shift started, and wondered if he would show up for lunch. Was there nothing in her life that wasn't up in the air just then? Only one thing: her job beckoned, and as lowly as it was, it beat no employment at all.

That, as usual, kept Laurie smiling through her self-pity and frustration as she spent the next several hours delivering coffee and eggs and sandwiches and collecting paltry tips and trying not to think of just what she'd have been up to a year ago today. Not waiting for Jerry, she reminded herself more than once, so that was an improvement at least.

It was a clear but very chilly February morning, so nearly everyone looked red-cheeked and windblown as the hostess showed them to their seats. Jerry was no exception when he came in from the cold just before noon, swathed in the beat-up old hunting jacket she'd come to know so well, but he looked beautiful to Laurie all the same. She had ten minutes left on her shift, so she allowed no outward sign of the leap her heart made when she spotted him in the doorway. But she did allow a smile and a wink as he settled himself in a booth by the window -- not one of her tables, so the big reunion would just have to wait until the bitter end.

For all the times she'd put herself on display for him in her underwear or nothing at all, Laurie found her waitress' uniform rather embarrassing. Not to mention rather tired looking after the hours on duty. But Jerry showed no sign of anything but delight when she finally made her way to his booth after clocking out. Instead, he jumped up and threw his arms around her. Laurie eagerly returned the hug, not caring in the least what her colleagues might think. "So glad you didn't chicken out on this, Jerry!" she said.