At What Cost Friendship

My truck took me back to my condo; it had to be the truck because I don't remember any of the drive. My cell phone had started ringing before I got home, I just turned it off. I knew who it was and I didn't want to talk to her.

When I got home, I took a bottle of Jack Daniels out to my patio and sat down. I decided that I would see who could last longer, the bottle or me. After taking a couple of drinks, I changed my mind. I didn't want to go back to drinking to the point of passing out. Been there, done that, got the damned Tee shirt.

I stepped back into the condo and put the bottle away, two drinks were enough. About an hour after I got home, the door bell rang, surprise, surprise, surprise. I could guess who it was. Looking through the spy hole, I was surprised. It was Jenny and it looked like she was alone.

I was curious why Jenny? Lesley I could understand and almost expected. One way to find out so I opened the door.

"I need to talk to you John... can I come in?"

"What could we possibly have to talk about Jenny? You got what you wanted. Les and I are done. It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Your right, I haven't liked you since you dumped Lesley after that night at the county fair, but this is more important than my feelings about you. Lesley is a mess; she is sitting outside in the car crying. She wants to come in and talk to you, but she is afraid to."

"Why should she be crying? She got what she wanted. A few months of me squiring her around until her boyfriend showed back up. Yeah, I know she and Bill were dating before he went to Mexico for a job. I came back home right after he left and Les and I started dating. He was gone about three months and we have been dating about two and a half months. I was a substitute until he could come back. I'm not a total mushroom yet."

"Mushroom?"

"Yeah, you know keep it in the dark and feed it shit. I don't need to talk to her. Tell her we're good. It was fun and now can both go on with our lives. She can be with Bill and not worry about me."

"That's not what she wants, she wants you," Jenny said.

"Ain't gonna happen. I hesitated a minute then said, "Go get her, Jenny, let's get this over with. I've got things to do tomorrow and I need to get some sleep."

Jenny went out to the car and brought Lesley back into the condo. I was sitting in my chair when they came into the living room. Pointing to the couch, I suggested they sit there. Lesley still had tears running down her cheeks.

I sat and waited for Lesley to start. She was the guilty party here and I wasn't going to make it any easier on her. Lesley continued to look down; she wouldn't look at me eye to eye. Finally I had enough.

"Let's get this show on the road Lesley. I've got to get some sleep because I have lots of things to do tomorrow. You wanted to talk to me so talk or leave. I don't care much either way."

"John it's not what it looked like," Lesley said.

"Let me tell you what it looked like to me Lesley. I could be wrong, but it looked like you broke our date to meet this guy. It looked like you lied to me, telling me you were going to help your mother .

It looked like you went to dance and party with Bill. It looked like you let him touch you, hug you and kiss you. All of this done in public and in front of people we both know.

If I hadn't showed up, would you have gone home with him? What should I think, watching you treat him like you used to treat me?"

"It looked like I was a convenient diversion while you were waiting for Bill to get back from his job in Mexico. Does that about cover what it looked like? Is there something I don't understand about you lying to me?

I bet the other broken dates were for the same reason. That would be called lying in my book and dating him is cheating. So tell me Lesley, what part of this do I have wrong?"

"I wasn't going home with Bill. He and I have never been intimate. You are the only one I have ever made love with."

"Tell me why, Les. Why the lying? Why date another man when we were supposed to be exclusive? Tell me why Les."

"Bill and I broke it off when he went to Mexico. You came back to town and were so nice, I started seeing you. I believed I was falling in love with you. Then Bill came back and called me. The feelings I had for him sort of resurfaced. I was going out with him to see if my feelings for you were the real thing. I didn't want any unresolved issues to get in our way John."

"Anything else Les?"

"Tonight was the last time I was going to see Bill. Please John, try to understand. You hurt me once and I felt I had to be sure of my feelings for you," she replied.

I had to stop and get control of myself. I didn't want to scream and shout. I just wanted to express my disappointment and how hurt I was.

Jenny said, "Come on John, it's no big deal. She didn't sleep with the guy. Les was just dancing and having a good time."

"Stay out of this Jenny, or I swear I will toss you out the door. It's none of your business. Just sit there and shut up." I had to take a minute and put my thoughts together. I didn't want to attack Lesley. I just wanted to tell her how I felt.

"Les, I really believe that if you had come to me and explained your feelings I would have allowed you to go out with Bill. It's easy to say that now, but I believe I would have understood. I wouldn't have liked it, but I think I could have lived with it. After what happened between us in high school, I can understand you being a little concerned about me.

"I told you before I'm not that guy that hurt you anymore. I've changed and for the better I think. The thing that bothers me is your lying to my face. Helping your mother my ass! You were out having a party with your old boy friend.

From the way you two were hanging all over each other I don't believe this was the first or the last time you planned to see him either. That's cheating in my book and I won't accept it. I said it earlier tonight Les, I'm done and gone. It's over, so go running back to Bill if you want. You don't have to lie anymore."

Lesley was crying again. She said, "Please John, I love you. I was wrong to lie to you, I'm sorry. Let's go back to the way it was. I know you love me."

"Lesley, I do love you and maybe always will. But your lying has destroyed the trust between us. I love you but I can't forget the lying and cheating. I would always wonder who you were with, if you were late getting home or if you didn't answer your cell. The suspicions would eat us up. Let it go Lesley, it's the best thing for both of us."

Lesley and Jenny left my place and I went to bed but I didn't get very much sleep. Lesley tried to get me to change my mind over the next few days. I refused to even consider reconciliation. My lack of trust would destroy us before long and I finally got Lesley to understand. She wasn't happy about it, but she understood. I think we parted as friends.

The next day I took a big step and went into business for myself. I took the money from the partnership and opened my own repair shop in the next town. I moved there to open the shop because the town was almost twice the size of my home town. I was only about thirty minutes from my home town, so I was still close.

It was a great accomplishment for a young man my age. It was a little tough at first, but soon I had two guys working for me and we were booked at least two weeks in advance. The reason my shop is successful is we get it fix right the first time and we stand behind our service. That was two years ago.

Unfortunately I don't get to work on cars as much as I would like. Now paper work, management, and customer service take up a lot of my time. The downturn in the economy hasn't hurt my business, if anything it has caused an increase in my work.

People weren't buying new cars as much and have to keep the old ones running. Ergo, increased business for me. I had decided to hire another mechanic and an office manager. That will allow me to get back to working on cars.

The shop was closed and I was at my desk trying to get the expenses lined out. I heard someone knocking on the shop's front door. Looking out the office door I could see a woman at the door. I got up and went to the front and yelled through the glass that we were closed.

"Can you just take a quick look at my car? The lights are getting dimmer and I need to get home. Please, I'll make it worth your while." I'm a sucker for a pretty woman. She was tall, slender, had auburn hair, and freckles. The perfect Irish lass. I was lost. I opened the door and told her to come in.

"Thank you, I need to get home as soon as possible. I'm Julie O'Riley," she said shaking hands with me. Her grip was firm, not like a normal woman's hand shake.

"John Henry Kelly," I answered. She is Irish I thought. "Pull it in and let's see what the problem is".

The car was a vintage Mustang convertible. She gave me more information on how the car was acting up. I opened the hood and did my magic, finding the problem in about five minutes. I explained that her alternator was shot and the car was running off the battery. That's what caused the dimming of the lights. I explained that the car would die very soon and not restart.

"Can you fix it, I really have to get home ASAP," she asked.

"Can't fix it tonight since we don't have the parts but I can have it ready by the end of the day tomorrow. You can use the phone in the shop to call your husband to come get you here. I'll stay open until he gets here."

"I'm not married, but I can call a taxi. Will you stay until it arrives?"

I nodded yes and she made the call. She was upset when she got off the phone. It seemed that it was a forty minute wait for the cab.

"Tell you what, Julie, I'll close up and give you a ride home if the wait is a problem for you."

"Normally, I wouldn't let you go to all that trouble, but I do need to get home. My father is at home alone. He will get up and move around if someone isn't there to stop him. He broke his leg in a motorcycle accident and is supposed to stay off his feet so I accept your kind offer. Thank you."

I relocked the shop, got Julie into my truck and took her home. During the thirty minute trip we talked a lot and became friendly. She was an office manager for a realty company. Her mother is had passed awaygone and her father stays with her when he's not traveling. Julie heard my story, at her insistence I might add. All in all the time seemed to go by quickly.

Nice house I thought as I pulled into her drive way. Julie invited me for dinner as a thank you for the ride and she wouldn't take no for an answer. I met her father and we seemed to strike a chord with each other and we became immediate friends. I was sorry I had to leave but I had enjoyed a very good dinner and great company.

The next day Julie caught a ride to my shop to pick up her car. She wanted to pay extra for the ride home but I turned it down. We debated it for a minute and I thought of a compromise.

"Buy me a cup coffee at the diner next door and we'll call it even. After all, I did get a great meal last night as a thank you."

She agreed to the coffee. That was the start of our romance. We found we shared common interests like music (country, classic rock, r&b); the same taste in movies, and had the same ideas about politics. It was amazing, she was the female me and better looking of course.

We had several dates and I was beginning to fall for her... hard. I had been burned before so I made it plain that I wanted an exclusive relationship. She just smiled and said of course. Our time together intensified. We shared camping trips, fishing, movie nights, and just sitting at home talking. It was perfect.

About eight months into our relationship, (7 months 2 weeks & 4 days to be exact, but who was counting) I asked Julie to marry me. She laughed and cried at the same time. And she said yes. We were to be married in six months.

There was 3 months until our wedding, when a bump in the road came along. Bump hell, it turned out to be a mountain in the road.

It was Thursday and I was at the shop closing up, when I had a visitor. Jenny came into my office and asked to talk to me. I was very surprised as I had not seen her since the night Lesley and I broke up over two years ago.

"What are you doing here Jenny?"

"I need your help. Actually Lesley needs your help John. I didn't know who else to ask."

"Lesley and I have been over for over two years. Why call on me now Jenny?"

Jenny asked me to just listen to her. She explained that about a year and a half after Les and I split, both her parents died in an auto crash. Lesley had no money other than her part time job. The house her family was living in belonged to the parish so she had to move. Lesley moved in with Jenny for a while, but Jenny was leaving for a job in another state in six weeks. Two weeks after Les moved in, she and Jenny were at the ice cream parlor and ran into Bill. Lesley had not seen him since the night at the Palace. Bill and Lesley began to date again. Then Lesley moved in with Bill the same week Jenny left town.

Last month Jenny came back to the home town. Her out of state job had closed down due to the economy. She ran into Lesley at the gas station and Jenny couldn't believe the change in her. She had lost weight, had bags under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping well, and had a big bruise on the side of her face. Jenny asked her what was going on but Lesley didn't want to talk about it and left.

Jenny was watching and saw Lesley around town. Lesley always looked like hell with a new set of bruises, cut lip, or black eye almost every time Jenny saw her. She finally cornered Lesley in the ladies room at the gas station and demanded to know what was happening to her.

Bill had turned into a jealous, abusive asshole. He smacked Lesley around almost every day. If she took too long shopping, didn't get his dinner on time, or just for fun he would slap her around. Lesley had tried twice to leave, but she really had nowhere to go and Bill always found her. She was afraid to go to the police. She is afraid of what Bill would do to her.

Lesley had left Bill again and was hiding out in a deserted cabin outside of town. The cabin had been part of a church camp, years ago and it hadn't been in use for ten years. Jenny wanted me to go get Lesley and help her get away from Bill. Jenny said, "Lesley doesn't know I'm here. I know you don't owe me anything, but you said Lesley was still your friend. She really needs some help. Please John, I don't know who else to turn to."

"I have to think about this Jenny. Don't know if I want to get involved in this, but I will think about it. Give me until tomorrow about this time and call me. I'll have an answer for you then." I was thinking I had to talk to Julie about this before I committed myself to anything.

I knew what I wanted to do, but Julie was part of my life now and she had a right to at least know what was going on. If I did what I was thinking about I could go to jail if things went south or maybe even lose my shop.

That night Julie and I were supposed to make the final decision on flowers and some other stuff. She was going on about flowers and arrangements and whatever. I wasn't paying attention. "Okay John, what is on your mind? You haven't heard a word about the flowers or anything else. Where is your head tonight?" She was smiling when she said this.

"There is a decision I have to make and can't figure out what I should do, Julie. I need your input, but you need to hear the whole story before you say anything. Okay?"

"Sure John, what's wrong? How can I help?"

I began at the beginning all those years ago, starting with the county fair, the time after I returned to town, and the break up with Lesley. Julie wasn't real happy hearing about my old girl friend, but she listened without interrupting. When I finished, I ask her what she thought.

"Let's see, you want to run off and play hero with your old girl friend. In the process of 'saving' her you might go to jail or lose your business. Is that about it, John?" Julie seemed to be angry.

"You forgot about helping out a woman in real trouble. She has no one to turn to and maybe I can help."

"I can't make your decision for you John. You have to do that. Just remember if you decide to help her you are jeopardizing our upcoming marriage and our future together."

"Are you saying that if I help Les that you and I are over? Is that what you're saying Julie?" Now I was a little pissed off.

Julie looked at me for a moment and then sort of hung her head. She was upset and trying to gather herself.

"It's a simple question Julie. A yes or no is all that is required."

"Why do you have to help her," Julie asked in a quiet voice.

"If this was an old buddy from school or work, would you react this way," I countered.

"No, but you weren't in love with an old buddy. You were in love with Lesley. That's the difference," Julie answered.

"The key word in that statement is were; it was a long time ago. You still haven't answered the question Julie. If I help Les are you and I done?"

"I don't know," she said.

I was stunned. I never thought there would be any resistance to my helping a friend in trouble. I thought we would barnstorm on the best way for me to help. The way that I could stay out of jail. I had no idea that Julie would be dead set against me helping Lesley. The old girl friend point had never entered my thinking. I got up to leave and go home. Usually we stayed together, either at my place or hers.

"I told Jenny I would give her an answer at closing time tomorrow. When I have made up my mind, I will call you before I meet with Jenny."

Julie just nodded and turned her head when I tried to kiss her goodnight.

"Really?" I said. I left and tried to slam the door, but it had one of those door closes on it. It was an empty gesture.

The next day I spent most of the morning thinking about the problem. I couldn't decide. The situation with Lesley and with Julie kept going round and round in my head. I decided to work on a car to keep my mind from spinning.

In the middle of a tough engine repair, my mind cleared. I guess letting my mind work on the problem in the background gave me the push I needed to make a decision. I called Julie to tell her my decision and to discuss our situation.

When Julie answered I said, "I'm going to try and help Lesley." She hung up without saying anything. Guess that was a big 10-4 on Julie breaking up with me if I helped Lesley.

Now I had to figure out the hard part; well the hard part was losing Julie. How can I help Lesley so that: First--I don't go to jail and second--Keep Bill from bothering Lesley again? All good questions that I didn't have answers for right now. I had better come up with something quick as Lesley couldn't stay at that cabin for much longer. Jenny called just as I began to flesh out an idea that would meet the criteria I needed.

I told Jenny I was going to help Lesley, but I couldn't do anything until Saturday night. She needed to sneak Lesley over to my shop tonight after dark. I told Jenny to drive to the back of the building and I would let them in. Lesley could stay in the little apartment over the shop. I sometimes used it when I worked really late. She would be safe there until I put my plan into action. They arrived at 9:00 and Jenny was right, Lesley looked like hell.

"Thank you for helping me John," Lesley said. I don't know where to go now, but at least I am away from Bill."

"Lesley if my plan works you will have to testify against Bill in court. Can you do that?"

"Just give me the chance. What's your plan?"

"Don't worry about it. You and Jenny stay here until Saturday morning. He doesn't know you're here and can't get to you if he did. This will all be over tomorrow night. I hope."