When does a woman know that she's a lesbian? I just turned eighteen and I could be one and don't even know it. All these guys I've been with—maybe they should have all been girls. How do I know? There should be an alarm that goes off or something. For all I know, the fact that a guy can make me cum doesn't mean shit. Maybe what I call an orgasm isn't really an orgasm.
I need help.
And then there's my Mom, Susan. My Dad died almost two years ago now. She's never gone out with another guy, that I know of. And here's the coolest part: I walked past the computer room the other day when she didn't notice and she was on a popular amateur picture web site looking at the pics of a topless young woman.
I stopped and secretly watched for a minute. Mom was clearly looking at the pics for pleasure. I had to go before she saw me, so I don't know how long she looked at them or what else she did.
But it got me thinking.
What if my Mom's really a lesbian? Is that weird or what? What if a forty year old woman who had been married for twenty years was really a lesbian? Would she know it?
I'm not saying either me or her are lesbians. That's not my point. I'm asking: How and when do we know?
I tried something last night just for the hell of it. I was lying in bed thinking about the cutest girl I know, Lindsay. I saw her at the beach the other day in a bikini. It was obscene. I mean, that suit barely covered her pussy and nipples.
I imagined that she followed me into the ladies room and snuck into a stall with me without me expecting it. I just wanted to see how I'd react in this imaginary setting.
Well, shit. My hand was on my pussy so fast I couldn't stop it. I thought about Lindsay starting to kiss me and our bodies touching. Our tongues explored each other and her hands were all over me. I felt them on my ass and between my legs and then up to my breasts.
Meanwhile, I was rubbing my clit under the sheet getting wetter by the second.
Lindsay pushed up my bikini top and began sucking on my tits. I felt her tongue and her teeth all over the nipples. Then she lifted her own top and pulled my head down to her. I'd never licked a girl before, but she made it easy. And I loved it, damn it. I loved it.
We fingered each other just like I was fingering myself in real life. Lindsay quietly begged me to make her cum. I did the same.
Fuck, I came so fast for real I never finished the frickin' daydream.
So, am I a lesbian?
I couldn't write yesterday because Mom and I went to Aunt Sharon's for the day. If I'm a lesbian, I think I want my first experience to be with Aunt Sharon. What a babe! She's about thirty five I think. Looks my age. Acts my age. Flirts with anything on two legs. Man, woman, it doesn't matter.
Uncle Steve must be worn out by now if they fuck as much as Aunt Sharon seems to want to or talks about it.
That's not important. This is what's important. I swear her and my Mom have something going on. I mean, they act like teenagers in love when they're together. No, they don't get physical in public. They don't touch each other in that way. But just their body language. I don't know. You have to see it to understand, I guess.
Aunt Sharon and my Mom have great bodies for their age. No, wait. They have great bodies for ANY age. It certainly wouldn't shock me if they were interested in each other even if they weren't sisters.
Well, last night after we got home, Mom went to bed and I stayed up playing on the computer. It was probably one in the morning before I went upstairs to bed. I have to pass Mom's bedroom to get to mine. Her door was open as usual.
I tried to be quiet, knowing it was late. I walked slowly down the hall and, right before getting to Mom's room, I heard a sound that made me stop. It was almost as if Mom was in pain or something. I stuck my head around the corner.
Damn. Mom was lying naked on the bed, the sheet pushed down to her knees. She had one hand between her legs and another on her right breast. She was masturbating like she'd never had sex in her life. I heard her moans getting louder as she rubbed her clit and squeezed her nipple. Two fingers disappeared inside her pussy and the other hand pulled on a nipple until I thought I could feel it myself.
In less than two minutes it sounded like she was ready to cum. Then the wildest thing happened.
I heard her murmur, "Sharon. Oh God, Sharon! Lick my clit!"
By now, my own hand was inside my panties. I watched her body squirm on the bed and her back arch up.
"Right there! Sharon. Yes! Yes!"
I watched my mother have an orgasm that lasted at least a minute. I couldn't make myself stop looking at her contorted face, her beautiful breasts, and that hand between her legs. The headboard knocked against the wall one time and Mom seemed to try to calm down, without much success. Her muffled moans could be heard in the hallway.
I tiptoed past the bedroom and quietly closed the door to my room. Oh my God I was so horny and scared and confused.
I had to try something today. As a result, I might have just had the most important day of my life. I'll try to tell it all, but my mind's a little crazy right now.
When I got up, the scene in my Mom's bedroom was still clear in my mind. I took a shower and almost came thinking about my Mom and Aunt Sharon. I put on a robe with nothing underneath and headed downstairs.
I decided to see if my Mom would take the bait. I wasn't sure what it would prove—for either of us—but I had to try it.
She came in a little bit after me and we chatted while she made breakfast for herself. I was sitting at the table, my legs crossed and the robe cracked open almost to my pussy. When Mom wasn't looking, I opened the front just a little bit more.
She sat next to me, as usual. I could assume that Mom could see a good portion of at last one of my breasts from there...if she was looking. Well, it didn't take long to catch her looking. I didn't say anything or give any indication I noticed.
At one point I reached for something on the table and knew she had an even better view. We talked normally until I was done eating.
When I got up to put my dishes in the sink, I stayed there, leaning on the counter, while we talked some more. I swear the only things Mom couldn't see were the lower one-third of my breasts and my pussy.
I waited for an opportunity in the conversation to bring up Aunt Sharon, and then threw her name out there with a question. I just wanted Mom to be thinking about her. It was interesting to see Mom's whole demeanor change, for the better.
I was complimenting Aunt Sharon's body when Mom was getting up to put a dish in the sink.
"She's so pretty. I think even some women would like to be with her," I said.
"You think?" Mom asked innocently.
"Don't you think it's fairly common for women to be attracted to each other?"
She looked at me carefully. "I think it happens all the time."
I smiled. "Are you attracted to Aunt Sharon?"
She appeared very surprised by my question. "She's my sister."
I said, "So?"
"So, I can't be 'attracted' to her in that way."
"In what way?" I asked.
"I never said anything about sex," I said calmly. "Is that what you were thinking?"
Mom was obviously flustered. "I was thinking you should get dressed."
That was my opening. It was now or never and I prayed it wouldn't backfire.
"Have you ever seen Aunt Sharon naked?"
"Well, when we were a lot younger. Sure," she said.
"Did you like it?"
Mom stared at me, but didn't answer.
I said, "Have you ever wanted to touch her? Touch her body?"
I didn't wait for an answer. I took Mom's hand and raised it to the opening in my robe. I put it on my bare skin, at the top of my breasts.
"Have you ever wanted to touch her breasts?"
I moved her hand down until it was on my nipple.
"No," she answered weakly.
Just that one word—the way she said it, the way she didn't pull her hand away—made me think she wanted to.
"Why shouldn't women be allowed to express their love for each other the way a man and woman do?" I asked.
I let Mom keep her hand on my breast while I opened the robe a little farther. She lightly closed her fingers around my tit.
"Touch me, Mom. With both hands," I said in a near whisper.
The robe was nearly all the way open when her other hand came up and rested on my breast. The movement of her fingers was almost imperceptible, but she was definitely feeling me. I thought my heart would burst, it was beating so fast.
It seemed so natural to just lean forward and kiss her. I never felt her tongue, but it was a nice kiss anyway. And it pressed her hands tighter against my chest.
I said softly, "Open my robe, Mom."
She was like a robot. It was so weird to watch her move so mechanically and like she was under somebody else's control. But she pulled on the belt and my robe fell open by itself. I saw her look down at my body.
"That's how you look at Aunt Sharon. I bet you didn't know that," I said.
She shook her head.
"Do you want to know how you must make her feel? Put your hand between my legs. Feel how wet I am, Mom."
"No, hon. I can't...," she began to say.
I took her hand and pushed it down the center of my body, completely untying the robe in the process. It fell open and I rested Mom's hand on the top of my pussy, near my clit.
"Go ahead, Mom. Feel how wet I am."
Her fingers barely reached down far enough to spread the lips protecting my pussy. As she probed, I kissed her. This time our tongues met and her hand made firmer contact with my pussy.
I touched her breast through her shirt and I thought she moaned. We only kissed for a few seconds, but it was clearly more passionate than before.
She pulled her hand away.
"Traci, I'm getting dressed. You should do the same."
With that, she turned and quickly walked out of the kitchen, leaving me about as horny as I'd ever been.
I can't tell if my Mom's pissed or not. She hasn't said barely two words to me since yesterday morning's incident in the kitchen. Hopefully, she's thinking about what she felt. I'm pretty sure she was turned on. I wish I could have felt her pussy to find out.
But her nipple seemed pretty hard and the kiss was definitely loving. There is no longer any doubt in my mind that I have to carry this through and get us into a situation where sex is an option. Wow. Like THAT will be easy. I'm gonna have to think about this some more.
Yes!! There IS a God! Aunt Sharon just called and she's coming over tomorrow. Is this perfect or what? The three of us will be alone all afternoon. It couldn't be more perfect. So I have the rest of today to set this up. I better get busy planning. I might not be able to write again until after she's been here. Wish me luck.
All my life all I've done is ask questions. Some were important and some weren't. Rarely did the important ones get answered to my satisfaction. Today may have made up for the previous eighteen years.
Aunt Sharon got here around noon. You should have seen her outfit. Actually, you know what? The outfit wasn't that special, but on her it was spectacular. She had on a tank top and shorts. Nothing extraordinary about that. But I swear every curve was magnified: the way her nipples delicately pushed against the top; the way her stomach and abs showed just above her shorts; the way her ass curved down to her thighs.
I felt pretty lame in my t-shirt and denim skirt.
But maybe I hit Aunt Sharon's button without knowing it. From the moment she got here, she rarely was more than a few feet away from me and was constantly chatting and complimenting me in one form or another.
Mom seemed to be fine with it all. She wore one of the sundresses that I think looks best on her. It's cut pretty low on top and rides up her legs just right when she sits. She looked hot.
We were on the porch, which is very private at our house. I've laid out there topless to sunbathe before without thinking twice about it. I never thought the privacy would lead to the opportunity I had today, though.
Mom and Aunt Sharon were drinking something I didn't recognize. I didn't ask Mom what she made and she didn't offer me any. But she knew I'd just be having iced tea anyway. It worked for me.
We talked for almost an hour. Aunt Sharon had come over to pick up some books Mom had, but that wasn't the topic of discussion. It was all over the place and I enjoyed listening to them talk and laugh. Of course, Aunt Sharon couldn't talk long without bringing up a man she knew at one time or another. They talked a lot about guys they both knew in school and stuff. Ends up men haven't changed much from then to now.
Anyway, Aunt Sharon eventually made a point of getting me involved in the conversation. She asked me about my boyfriends. I told her the latest, but towards the end I said, "What if I'd said I only had girlfriends?"
She looked at me with wide eyes, and replied, "That would be fine, too. Whatever makes you happy."
Something about the look on her face after she answered made me think she was interested in pursuing the train of thought. It was as if she was trying to tell me it was OK, without actually saying it.
I said, "A lot of my friends have given up on guys. Maybe I should try that."
For whatever reason, Mom decided at that moment to go inside the house and refill her glass along with Aunt Sharon's. It couldn't have worked out better.
Aunt Sharon got up and moved behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders as if to give me a massage. She said, "First of all, I think you're old enough that you don't have to call me Aunt Sharon any more. Sharon will do. Secondly, how serious are you about this feeling of only having girlfriends.?"
I was afraid she'd see the goose bumps I was getting from her just touching me. "I've thought about it. But, you know, I didn't want to be thought of as, um,...," I didn't finish the sentence.
"I'm not sure it's anything to be embarrassed about, Traci," she said, running her hands down the tops of my arms. "We all feel that way sometimes."
"Really?" I asked.
"Sure. There are lots of women I think are sexy."
All I could think of was: how cool that Sharon could express it in those terms while my Mom couldn't. My Aunt clearly had thought about this more than Mom.
"Do you think Mom is sexy?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah," she answered quickly.
I hesitated, not sure how to tell her about what I saw Mom doing. I finally said, "Well, I have reason to believe Mom fantasizes about you...and her."
I could feel a change in the way Sharon touched me. She almost stopped moving her hands completely, as if very surprised.
"You do?" she said.
I got out of my chair and turned to face my Aunt. "I think if she had the chance...I mean, if the right situation came up...she might want to, uh, maybe do something with you."
Sharon seemed to get my meaning right away. Surprisingly, her eyes lit up and a small grin crossed her lips. "Interesting. What do you have in mind?"
I wanted to make it sound as if I hadn't thought about it at all, but I couldn't. I'd planned it all out and this was my opportunity. It seemed I already had one willing participant.
"Well," I said, "I think if two of us, you and me, started playing around a little it wouldn't take much to get Mom involved. But if you don't want to..."
"I want to," was her sudden and unexpected reply. "Are you taking the lead?"
"Do it," she said. "Use me however you want and we'll see how she responds. She'll be back soon. Maybe if you get behind me and just go from there."
"Got it. Here she comes," I said. "God, I'm nervous."
"Don't be," Sharon said. "I've wanted this for so long."
With renewed confidence, I moved behind my Aunt and watched Mom bring out the drinks and place them on the table.
"I probably shouldn't leave you two alone," Mom said as she sat down.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"I'm not sure I can trust either of you."
I wrapped my arms around Sharon and held her tight. I looked over her shoulder at Mom, brushing back Sharon's hair with my forehead. I put my chin on her shoulder.
"Maybe it's a good thing I'm here," I said. "Maybe I can't trust YOU alone with HER."
Mom had to be thinking of our conversation in the kitchen. At least, that's what I wanted her to be thinking about. I let my hands roam up the front of Sharon's top, pulling it higher and bunching it up just under her breasts. Mom couldn't seem to take her eyes off the exposed skin of her sister.
I let Sharon's top drop back down, but my hands were inside. I only had to raise them an inch or two to feel the bottom of her breasts. I can't even begin to tell you how exciting that was. My entire body seemed to quiver as my hands rose up and eventually covered her breasts.
Mom's expression didn't tell me a thing. I might have expected disgust, or revulsion, or anger. I got none of it. She sat emotionless, but definitely interested in what I was doing. Maybe she was jealous, I don't know.
I gently massaged Sharon's tits. They felt wonderful, with hard nipples and soft skin that easily molded to my hands. I pressed against her ass and I felt her press back.
After a short time, I got brave and lifted Sharon's top. She didn't object and Mom didn't speak. So, the top came off.
My heart was pounding so hard I couldn't believe it. Mom's eyes were locked onto the luscious breasts and I pulled on just the nipples, not wanting to block the entire view.
Sharon moaned and closed her eyes, her head leaning back onto mine.
"Mom, I think you should help," I said.
My mother stared for just a few seconds, and then rose from her chair and walked over to us. Sharon and Mom exchanged a short glance before Mom's hands were on her sister's tits.
I left them alone for a minute. Mom was very tentative until Sharon said softly, "Mmmmm, yeah. That feels so nice."
When Mom seemed more relaxed, I moved back in behind Sharon and put her in a pretty nice sandwich between me and Mom. I put my hands on Sharon's ass, I'm sure without Mom even knowing it. Then I slid my hands up the legs of Sharon's shorts and felt the supple skin.
Mom had moved closer and I heard Sharon say very softly, "Kiss me."
They started a long, gentle kiss and my right hand moved around to the front of Sharon's shorts. The heat from her pussy penetrated through the thin material and I rubbed her harder. Mom HAD to know what I was doing, but she was too busy kissing her sister. Which, by the way, was becoming a little more intense.
"Her nipples are very sensitive, Mom. Lick them," I whispered in her ear, but I knew Sharon had to hear me, too.
As with every step preceding this one, Mom was cautious at first. She slowly leaned down to Sharon's chest after receiving a smile of confirmation from her sister. Sharon and I watched her very lightly kiss all around the nipple. Finally, the tip of her tongue came out and slid across the erect nub. Sharon did the same thing I would have done: she held my Mom by the back of the head and pulled her closer. I was so wet I couldn't stand it.
Mom's tongue began to lick all around the nipple. She expanded her range and pretty soon was kissing and licking the entire breast.
"Take it, Susan," Sharon said. "Put it in your mouth. Please."
None of this could have been easy for them. Well, OK. It might have been easier for Sharon than Mom. But to do this—and in front of me—must have been hard.
This time Mom didn't hesitate at all. She eagerly opened her mouth and sucked on as much of Sharon's tit as she could fit between her lips. Mom held the other breast in her hand and soon was sucking on that one, too.
I took the opportunity to rub Sharon's pussy a little more, getting a few moans out of her and feeling the warmth increase on my fingers. The more Mom sucked on her tits the hornier I got. I finally opened Sharon's shorts and let them fall to the ground.