Aunt Jean

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe how crushed he felt. What must she feel like? What must she have felt like for twelve years? He'd do anything if he could just change the past and have Jean never get into the car that day. How could so many shitty things happen to one person? Would he have been as brave as she's been? Would he have been able to deal with everything she's had to deal with? He felt his throat begin to constrict as he eyes teared. He coughed. "I'm... gonna get something to drink, and... go to the john." He pulled his arm from around her. He had to get out of the room before he lost it. He sat up on the edge of the bed, his back to Jean. "What... do you want to drink?"

"Just... just ice water, please." She stared at his back. Her eyes teared a little. She wondered if he now thought of her as less of a woman. No, it had to be something else.

He got up and didn't look at her. "'kay." He walked fairly fast to the hall and headed downstairs. He went to the bathroom on the first floor to piss. He kept telling himself not to lose it. He flushed and washed his hands, then went to the kitchen. The small undercabinet light by the sink was on. He made up her glass of ice water, then opened the refrigerator. He tried to decide if he wanted a Coke or ice water too. His vision blurred. It was so fucking unfair! Dad had told him Mom couldn't have more kids after him, and that she had been very sad about it, so had his dad. That wasn't fair to her and Dad either. His mom had been a terrific mother. Tears started running down his face. He closed the refrigerator and sat on the cool floor, his legs folded up, his feet flat on the floor, his back against the island cabinets. His elbows settled on his knees, and his palms covered his face. It wasn't fair to Jean! He started crying. Nothing had gone right for her!

Jean started to worry. It was taking a long time to get a couple drinks. Was he now thinking she was less of a woman? It couldn't be that. Could it? She slid off the bed and headed downstairs.

He wiped his nose with his arm. He was at least glad he wasn't sobbing, but he couldn't stop the tears. He had to get it together! He told himself not to talk to her about it at all. It would just make her sad. He hated himself for how much he had made her cry over the past couple months. He folded his arms across his knees and lay his forehead on his arms. He let the tears drop to the floor.

Jean walked towards the kitchen but didn't see him. She stopped and looked outside at the moonlit patio. She thought she heard a cough in the kitchen area. She walked to the island countertop, then saw the glass of ice water on the wall counter. She walked around the island. She stopped dead in her tracks. "Ron.... Ron... what's wrong?" She hurried the few steps to him and was instantly on her knees. "What's wrong? Are... are you okay?" She put her arm around him and pressed her cheek to his head.

He cleared his throat again. His voice was strained and raspy, "I... I just need a couple minutes alone, Jean. Okay?"

She sat down naked next to him and wrapped her arms around him. Tears were running down her face. Her voice was squeaky, "Tell me what's wrong. Ron? What's... what's wrong?"

"I... I don't want to make you cry. I... I..." He cleared his throat and wiped his nose on his forearm.

"Ron, just tell me. Is... is it about me not being able to have babies?"

He nodded. "It's... Jean, it's... it's not fucking fair. You... you should be... you should be able to have kids. You'd be... such... a... great... mom. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry, Jean. And I'm... and I'm sorry I'm crying... I..."

"Oh Ron." More tears ran down her face as she tightened her arms around his shoulders and her head pressed against his. "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry."

"I'm acting like a wimp. I'm sorry, Jean. I just so damn sorry."

"You're not acting like that at all. You're... you're acting like... you're acting like... like the man I love."

"Jean, I love you so damn much."

"I know, sweetheart, I know. I love you just as much."

* * *

Chapter 10

Until the phone rang, they had been lying on the cushioned chaises near the pool, reviewing all the restaurants they had gone to over the past couple months. They were now sitting at the umbrella table.

Ron was looking into Jean's pretty blue eyes. Her sun glasses were propped up on the top of her head, the temples were acting like a hair band, gathering it back away from her face, which was lightly tanned as the rest of her. She was always very careful about the sun and used heavy duty sun screen. He always enjoyed putting it on her back and legs and liked fighting her hands away when he did the exposed parts of her luscious ass, and of course when he always "accidentally" slipped a couple fingertips under the edge of her bikini bottoms.

He held the phone tighter. "Yeah, Dad, I got it. Saturday, 11:00AM. I'll park and then meet you at the baggage claim area." He listened. "Yeah, I think she wrote down the flight..." Jean showed him the small tablet. He smiled. "Yeah, she's showing me the airline and flight number right now. She's very organized. I'd be so confused if she didn't keep things straight around here." He chuckled. He saw her jaw clench then felt the top of her bare foot slapped the side of his calve under the table. He grinned. "Yeah, well, I'm looking forward to seeing you too. You wanna talk to Jean again?" He listened. "Yeah, you take it easy too. I'll be there on time, Dad." He looked at Jean's pretty eyes again and realized they only had three full days left to be alone together. "Yeah, she's right here. Take it easy, see ya Saturday." He handed the phone to Jean. "He wants to say good-bye."

She took the phone. "Frank?" She listened but was looking at Ron's face trying to read his mood. "I'm... we're both looking forward to you getting home." She listened. "Well, you better go then. Have a safe trip. I love you, Frank." She smiled. "Bye." She thumbed the end button. She sadly smiled at Ron.

"So... today's Tuesday, that means we have the rest of today, then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday morning. Three... three and a half days."

"Let's... let's not get sad, Ron."

"You said you'd have your mind made up by last night but you didn't bring it up. So... do you have your mind made up?"

"I... I... I guess I don't. I mean... I know what I should say and should do, what we should do, but... I... I just can't get myself to say it. Ron... we... we know what we should do. We both know that we ha..."

He interrupted, "Let's not repeat all that again. Okay... you can't make up your mind, so... so I'm making up both our minds. We will stay in contact, by phone or email, maybe letters, and... I will call you, and I want you to call me whenever you feel like it. We will let each other know how our lives are going regarding if we've met anyone we're... we're at least interested in getting to know better, if not really date, just like we talked about the other day." He was using most of her words from that discussion. "We both have to promise the other, that... that we will be open to finding other people, putting ourselves into situations where we'll at least meet people who we might be interested in getting to know better or even date. And if you want to, like you said, we can review this.... this relationship agreement, whatever you want to call it, like once every month, to see if it's still okay, and... and working for each of us. And above all...."

Jean broke in, "I... I think we definitely need to review it at least once a month."

He smiled inside. Jean had just tacitly agreed they'd continue their wonderful and secret relationship. "Yeah, okay, that's part of it. And... and where was I?" He smiled.

"Above all we have to always be honest, totally open and frank with each other about everything, inluding other people we are attracted to, our feelings, and our thoughts about... about our relationship... everything and anything, I think that's what you were going to say."

"Yeah... yeah, that was it. And if neither of us find someone else, the agreement will continue to a year from now, when... when we'll sit down and talk about it all again, I mean, more than just the monthly review and see... see if we want to renew it." He took a breath. "And... we have three more days to add on anything either of us think should be added, and... well... I guess we can add stuff anytime, just... we both have to agree to it." He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Jean, don't worry about this. I... I think you think I don't realize this... this relationship we have can't go on forever. I know it can't, but... but it still feels right and good to me, and... and I love you. I can't help that."

"We..." She took a slow breath and exhaled just as slowly. "We shouldn't have fallen in love. We... we shouldn't have done that. I... I sometimes think, Ron, that... that we're agreeing to just delay our... our heartbreak, our sadness at parting. I am so afraid that you won't try to find a girl you'll be able to tell people about, who you'll be able to have a real and normal relationship with. I... I don't want to be the reason you don't find her. I would feel so terribly guilty and so awful if that happened. I'd... I'd be so mad at you too if you didn't search for the right girl. You have to promise me you will. Promise me right now."

"Okay... okay... I promise."

"Don't say it like that. Promise me you'll look for the... the right girl, the girl you will fall in love with."

"I'll promise that, if you promise the same about finding the right guy for you."

"I promise to look for and hopefully find the right guy for me who... who I'll love as much as I love you, and who will love me as much as you love me, Ron." Her eyes teared up.

"I promise to look for and hope to find that right girl, and... and all that other stuff you just said." He half smiled. He wondered if he'd ever look for another girl. He couldn't imagine feeling the way he did about Jean towards any other girl than her.

She knew they were making the absolute wrong decision. They were thinking with their hearts, not their brains. They should end it the day before Frank returned. This wasn't going to work. They were trying to convince each other that they could control their emotions, deep intense emotions, and she knew that was impossible. They were just delaying the inevitable heartbreak and sadness, and maybe because of that delay it would be even worse when it finally happened. She knew she was going to fall deeper in love with him. She prayed he'd find a beautiful, intelligent, and nice girl in the fall.

Yes, she knew they should break it off before Saturday, but she just didn't have the strength to let go of him yet. It was sinful, and wrong, and crazy, but she had fallen so deeply in love with him. The twelve years difference in their ages didn't matter because, as she thought the other week, they were in essence the same age in some important ways, nor did the soon to be imposed physical distance of separation matter, nor did the incestual context. The only things that mattered were what they felt. She loved him, she wanted him, she only felt "right" when she was with him. She felt so elated about all that, yet so sad too, because it would never be "normal" and she knew they were on the path to terrible heartbreak. She was certain of that.

She was also certain, there was no "Mr. Right" out there looking for her, hoping to meet her, to find her. When Ron hopefully found the girl he deserved who would be his Ms. Right, she would try her best to hold onto the good things, the good changes in her, but she would again be the celibate, sexually frustrated girl... woman again. She just couldn't give him up yet. Maybe it really wouldn't be too selfish to hold onto him for a year. She had to have one more year with him, just one more year, and then she'd have more than enough memories to take her through the rest of her life. And then after they parted, she'd still have him and his love in her heart. She was sure he'd still love her, not the way she wanted, but she was sure there'd be a small part of his heart that still held her close, that would still remember their times together, the way they shared with and in each other so openly, so wonderfully, so lovingly, so passionately.

Tears started dropping from her eyelashes. She quickly wiped her eyes with her free hand and forced a smile to her mouth. "I... I don't think I've cried so much in... in years and years. It's... it's good. You've... you've taught me to feel so much, Ron, and... and you've given me so much more too." She kept the smile on her mouth as her face scrinched a little and tears ran faster down her face.

He kept holding her hand as he rose and moved around the table. He knelt on the concrete then took her into his arms. "Jean, please don't be sad. I... I really think, really believe that love... love can only be good. It... it can never be bad. You've... you've given me so much too. No matter what happens in the future, I will always... always love you, just as much as I do right at this moment."

She hugged him tighter. She knew that wasn't true, there would be a new girl, a new woman in his future, and even though he would still save a little spot in his heart for her, his love would never be this strong. Maybe her own wouldn't be either. She closed her eyes and concentrated on stopping her tears. No, her love would never diminish. It would always be this strong. No new love would ever replace it. Ron was the first and would be the last and only man she would ever love. "I love you, Ron. I love you so very much."

* * *

Chapter 11

On Wednesday evening they went to the small Thai restaurant where they had their first "date." They were both somewhat hoping they'd get the same waitress but she wasn't working. They had a good time, yet they both felt the evening begin to be tinted with a bit of melancholy. When the dishes were cleared and they were brought their ice coffees and doggy bag, it was Ron who bought up the subject.

"We're both a little sad, aren't we?"

Jean nodded and her soft smile was laced with the sadness they were feeling. "It seems that way, a... a little, but... I'm glad we're here and I am having a wonderful time with you, Ron."

"I am with you too. I... I was wondering if..." He half smiled. "If we should like set aside an hour at the end of the week to get really sad so... so we don't have to until then. Wha'd'ya think?"

Jean's eyes teared a little but she smiled softly. "Okay, maybe we should do that."

"What would you like to do after this?"

"Mmmm.... ice cream?"

His smile turned real. "I guess we're doin' the full replay, huh?"

"Uh-huh." Jean giggled softly.

He glanced around, then leaned towards her over the table. "Which means later, we're going to stay up until the wee hours and screw like two crazy-in-love people." His smile turned into a grin when Jean nodded and grinned too as her face turned a medium shade of red. After nearly three months, she was still blushing. God... he loved her so damn much.

*

"Mmmnnnhhh," Jean moaned. She was in the 'half doggy' postion, kneeling but her shoulders and head were on the mattress. She was gasping each breath. Ron's wonderful, thick, hard cock was thrusting into her perfectly, his right hand was under her, two fingertips rubbing and playing with her turgid clit exactly the way she loved it. His other hand sensually slid up and down the curve of her back.

She had been on the brink of orgasm for the past couple minutes. She was sure he knew it too. She was figuratively and even somewhat literally, in the palm of his hand and she knew he realized it. She was entrusting her body and her pleasure to him, and she liked that notion, because it felt like a loving thing to do, but she knew all she had to do was ask him to give her the orgasm she was now desperately in need of and he'd give it to her. Yet, she wanted to hold off a little longer. It truly did feel perfect, everything, all his touches, his cock thrusting deep all the way to her cervix, their mutual slower counterpoint rhythm, her shoving her bottom back to meet his plunging muscle, his groin smacking into her ass - smat... smat... smat... smat... The only thing that slightly concerned her was that she was now breathing so fast and hard she thought she might faint. It all felt so glorious, so hot, and so very loving. "Oh... oh god, Ron," she moaned.

He stared at her seductive apple ass. He loved seeing the little shock waves each time his groin met her firm buns. It was almost like slapping two waterfilled balloons. He loved every curve of her but her ass was to die for. He knew she was very close orgasm, so was he, but he wanted it all to last longer. They only had a couple days left and not many more times to make love. He wished he could keep his cock inside her forever. He sucked a few deeper breaths. "God... Jean... your ass... your ass is so hot... I love looking at it like this, making love... watching you... jeezuz."

She spoke breathlessly, "Quit... quit watching... my butt, just... oh god... Ron, I'm so close, baby. Please... just fuck me... fuck me a little harder and faster now... come on, fuck me harder... a little harder."

The corner of his mouth curled. He couldn't resist. He plunged deep and stay planted as his fingers stopped on her clit. Her ass started grinding crazily against his groin. He started taking a few more deeper breaths.

'Oh... god... baby, don't stop... don't stop. Come on... fuck me... keep fucking me. Ro-on."

"Jean? Could I ask you something?"

"Huh? Wha'... what is it?" Her hips kept squirming. She was so close, so very close. She couldn't wait any longer. She had to cum, had to reach orgasm right now.

"It seems to me you've been swearing more lately, using very foul language. Why is that?" He grinned.

Jean remembered their conversation in the car after the Thompson party. She started laughing which made her feel even more breathless. "Shut up!" She laughed again. "Don't tease. Come on... Ron... keep fu... making love to me... make love harder... harder... come on." She reached for his hand at her pussy and urged it to restart. She heard him laugh, then his fingers and cock started moving again. They were instantly back in the perfect counterpoint rhythms. They made love perfectly together. He even made her laugh during it! "Oh god, Ron... I love you... I love you so much."

Within a couple minutes, they both crested, she felt his body tighten, his cock, ripple, expand, and surge spewing gobs of heat deep inside her as her own body began to quake with spasms inside and out. She wished she could stay locked with him inside her forever. It was more than an orgasm, more than making love, it felt like they had just melted together and become one.

* * *

Chapter 12

Ron put his other hand on the steering wheel and thought about the day so far.

Jean had wanted to go with him to the airport, but Ron said it would be better if he talked to his dad alone. Ron didn't mention his concern that his dad might get suspicious if Jean was in the car looking all hot and beautiful and not wearing her blue jean shorts and T shirt uniform. Ron knew that his father was smart and didn't miss much that was going on around him.

Ron had wanted to stay up all night making love with Jean, but they had done that the night before. They got into bed around 10PM, made love, then were going to "relax" for a while before round 2, but they both had fallen asleep spooning within minutes. Jean woke him up at 7:30 this morning. They had overslept. He had wanted to make love and it hadn't taken much to convince Jean.