Aunt Jean, Ron, and...

She knew Ron had given her confidence in many ways, it was the bravery she had now that was still growing. He had changed her outlook, had in many ways opened her eyes, had made her see how she probably had misinterpreted actions by many people, even Frank's and Margaret's. Pity had never been part of their love and concern. Ron had told her many times that all he might have done was open a door for her, that who she was now was there all along. She didn't want August to ever come! Oh God! I love him! I LOVE HIM! She knew as she silently screamed that the depth of her love would be why when August arrived she would let him go, would even push him away if need be, even though it was exactly the opposite of what she wanted to do.

She felt the tears overflow the corners of her eyes, running down one normal cheekbone and the other reconstructed one. They felt hot and thick against her skin. Another and another and another followed the same paths. She didn't want to cry. She desperately didn't want to cry! Not tonight! NOT THIS FIRST NIGHT! She caught a sob in her throat and it made her twitched. Holding it back made her tremble.

As he had over the past year, Ron smiled when he felt Jean nearly shaking under him, anticipating her giggle of pleasure, of love. His smile vanished the next moment because although none of the intense sensations of love, of elation, of closeness changed within him, Ron suddenly felt himself falling into an abyss. Jean wasn't about to laugh, she was crying.

He tried to push up higher on his elbows but was held in place by her corralling arms around his neck. He added more strength and her arms loosened allowing his head to rise. He gazed into Jean's eyes. Her beautiful blues were glistening with tears, one escaped her right eye, then another from her left, each followed already wet trails down the sides of her beautiful face. "What is it, Jean?" It suddenly hit him before she even had a chance to respond. He felt breathless for a few seconds, the sensation of free falling still palpable when he spoke softly, "You've... you've already decided this is our last summer together as... as lovers." It wasn't a question.

She knew her face was already tensed as her tear-filled eyes gazed into his. He knew without her telling him. More hot tears flowed down her cheeks. Her voice was strained, nearly squeaky as she said, "I love you, Ron. I love you so much. Hold me... please just hold me, sweetheart."

Ron's forehead descended to the pillow, his profile against hers as his hands then his arms slid under her shoulders and the pillow. He held her close as his own eyes welled. She hadn't said yes, but he knew in his heart she had already made the decision. His mind was reeling. He knew only one thing for sure and he told Jean. His voice was raspy, "I love you, Jean... I love you beyond words."

***

MONDAY AFTERNOON

The sky was a cloudless blue and the sun seemed extra bright as Jean slowed her car and turned into the vast parking lot of the grocery store strip mall. It was surprisingly crowded for a Monday. The first open space was quite a distance from the building. She parked, removed her sunglasses and left them on the dashboard as she got out, making sure to lock the door. She had just finished her first workout at the women only health club she had found online a few weeks ago. It was a much nicer facility than her hometown workout place, but it was almost twice the monthly membership fee too. It was worth it though. She felt really good, energized. She planned to exercise at least 3 days per week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday - and be as disciplined about it as she had been since last fall.

She was glad her yearly physical was scheduled for Thursday and wouldn't interfere with her first week of workouts. She hated going for a checkup every year. It usually took at least five hours if not longer. The majority of that time was driving and sitting at the doctor's office and then at the hospital... waiting. Everyone ran behind schedule. She hated hospitals. The technicians and nurses were usually very nice, but just being in the environment reminded her too much of... the past. Considering everything had been fine for years, she planned to ask the doctor if a checkup every two or three years would suffice. Thank god her medical insurance through her teaching position covered most of the cost.

Since she was still wearing her exercise clothes-- sports bra; black capri length leggings; blue cotton gym shorts; pink sleeveless T shirt; white, thick cotton socks; and running shoes-- she decided to extend her workout and started jogging towards the store entrance, plus she was in a hurry. Her clothes in spots were still slightly damp with sweat, and now jogging in the heat had her lightly perspiring again. Next time she had errands after her workout, she'd bring street clothes and shower at the club, although she knew wearing her exercise outfit shopping wasn't outrageous, even if she did look silly. This grocery stop hadn't been planned.

All she needed to pick up was a package of boneless chicken breasts, having changed her mind about the dinner menu during her workout. Chicken l'orange would be better. She thought a citrus sauce was well suited for the heat of the day. She bet Ron was really sweating at the construction site. Maybe they'd eat at the umbrella table if the temp dropped a little by dinnertime.

She entered the large store and almost shivered when she was surrounded by the cool conditioned air. She walked along the wider area at the busy check out lanes until she came to aisle 5 then turned left and hurried towards the back of the store where the meat coolers were located against the rear wall. The poultry was to the right at the end of aisle 5.

She was walking very fast because she was a little behind schedule due to staying at the health club longer than she had anticipated. She had gotten into a conversation with another woman who had also just joined the club, and had lost track of time. She wanted dinner ready exactly forty minutes after Ron said he'd be home from his first day of work. During that time he could shower and change and relax for a few minutes.

She wanted it perfect this first workday, which was why she was rushing. She wanted the entire summer to be the very best it could be, each day full of love in all its various expressions. She tried not to think this was her last summer of love with Ron, the only guy she loved and would ever love. She was still angry at herself for crying Friday night, and that Ron had immediately figured out why. They were connected like that though. They could speak volumes with only their eyes, and sometimes it seemed they could read each other's mind even when they weren't together.

As she neared the rear of the store, a woman her own age appeared from behind the end of the shelves pushing a shopping cart across the end of the aisle, probably on her way to the dairy area. Jean smiled then it became a big grin when the toddler boy riding in the cart's fold out seat turned towards her, grinned and flailed his arm in an enthusiastic wave. As the cart passed the aisle the little boy leaned to the side so he could keep watching her and continue waving.

Jean, still widely grinning, leaned her torso forward while she tilted her head to the right and turned her face to the left to keep her eyes on him, as if they were having a secret communication. She folded her arm up in front of her and gave him an equally enthused, hand wiggling wave near her chest as she turned right at the end of the shelves and instantly slammed into something big, ramming her head into it first then her body which made her waving hand punch into her chest. She yelped, "EEH!" Her eyes automatically shut tightly and her body cringed downward as she bounced back, thinking she had run into a palette of stacked, boxed produce. As she stumbled backwards, strong hands gripped her upper arms. She realized she had crashed into a man.

"Whoa. You okay?"

Jean didn't think she was hurt but she kept her head bowed and torso leaning forward as her palm felt her face to make sure her stinging nose wasn't bleeding. She was utterly embarrassed. She hadn't been looking where she was going and her peripheral vision was less than normal range on her right. She dreaded the man seeing her scars and disfigurement, and herself seeing his initial shock, possibly believing for a moment he had somehow just fractured or deformed her orbital area. She considered covering her eye with her hand but that would probably make him think she was hurt and ask to see it. She started to twist her shoulders to get the man's hands off her upper arms. She had been thinking about the cute toddler, and Ron, and all her futile wishes and fantasies.

"Jean?"

Her eyes blinked then popped wide, so large she felt her facial scars tug her right lower eyelid down. She didn't think to stand straight. She moved her hand away from her nose, tilted her head back and looked up. Her heart seemed to stop along with her breathing. She didn't realize her mouth was hanging open. She suddenly felt faint.

Ted loosened his grip on her arms slightly but didn't let go. Her shocked face had just blanched, making the hue of her pretty eyes appear a deeper blue. "Jean, are you all right?"

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