Avery's Desire Pt. 05

There were four others in the bar, three Rick knew pretty well and the other he'd seen a few times but didn't know his name. The three he did know waved at him when he entered and Rick waved back and flashed them a friendly smile.

"Get ya something to drink?" Boomer asked.

"Just a soda." Rick told him. "I try not to drink too much without my entourage close by. They keep me from making an ass of myself."

"I hear that." Boomer laughed. He poured Rick a cold glass of soda and handed it to him.

"Thanks." Rick told him as he took a drink. It tasted good and so refreshing. He took another quick drink then sat the glass back down and lit a cigarette. "So what's new around this old dump?" He asked.

"Not much." Boomer told him. "Toilets plugged again and the plumbers a fucking rip-off. That's about it."

"Sounds like fun." Rick smirked.

"How about you and the boys?" Boomer asked him. "Any new gigs lately?"

"Nope." Rick shook his head. "Since Mikey left the band we've been struggling a bit. Avery's good with the books but not with advertising and none of us is really that great at managing things. I never realized before just how much Mikey did to keep us afloat."

"Sounds like you boys need to find yourselves a good manager." Max said as he downed the bottle that had been sitting beside him, "Someone that knows how to handle the business side of things."

"Yeah that would be perfect." Rick agreed. "Know anyone we could hire?"

Max shrugged. "Not me, Boomer might though. He has connections."

"Not anymore I don't." Boomer laughed. "Besides, most of the people I knew are dead now, or close to it."

"That sucks." Rick propped his elbow up on the bar and rested his head on his hand. "We have no manager, we're out a guitarist and a place to rehearse, and don't have the money to rent a place." He sighed. How the hell was he going to get Avery to see him in the same light as Brian Mueller if he couldn't even help to keep his own band together? It seemed hopeless.

"I don't know about the manager or guitarist..." Boomer scratched his head thoughtfully. "I might know how you can get some extras cash though."

Rick looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah." Boomer turned around and tore a flyer off the wall then handed it to Rick.

Rick took the flyer and read over it carefully. He looked up at Boomer and raised an eye brow. "A battle of the bands?"

"Sure." Boomer shrugged. "I don't know how much you boys need but there's a cash prize for first place; five grand. They hold it every few years at East View Park. It's a good way for struggling bands to get some exposure if nothing else. The cash prize is a nice incentive though."

Rick's eyes went wide as he stared at the flyer. It was perfect! He imagined Avery's face when he told him about it; the look of pure adoration in his eyes, the bright beaming smile that would be on his face. Avery would throw himself into Rick's arms declaring him his hero! Okay, so maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but it definitely would be a foot in the right direction.

"You're the best Boom!" Rick folded the flyer up and stuffed it into his pants pocket then jumped off the bar stool with uncontained excitement. He threw a couple bucks on the counter, waved good-bye to the others, and then darted out the door at lightning speed. He ran down to the end of Chase and turned onto Prospect. He was only a few blocks from Avery's apartment building. If he ran, he could be there in ten minutes easy. He just hoped that Avery was awake and not still talking to his stupid Irish bastard!

_______________________

"Hey, where ya going?" Trash sat up in bed and reached out for Yvonne, his latest conquest.

Yvonne slipped her shirt on and then turned around to face Trash. "I told you I have to work."

"Oh come on baby, can't you take the night off, Just this once, please?"

She frowned. "No I cannot! We're short staffed as it and I could really use the tips."

"I'll tip you good baby if you get naked and crawl back in this bed." Trash winked at her.

"Tips I can actually spend, Tracey." She pulled her pants on and then grabbed her shoes.

"Oh, don't pout. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise."

"I got practice tomorrow." He told her, crossing his arms and frowning.

Yvonne shrugged, "Suit yourself. Anyway, I gotta go." She stood up, grabbed her purse and headed for the door, but stopped suddenly, turned and looked at Trash again. "Hey, are you still looking for a guitarist?"

"Maybe, why, you interested?" He grinned playfully.

"Me? Not a chance, but I might know someone who is."

"Cool, give him my number. We can set up an audition, once I talk to my boys, that is."

"Alright, great! I'll have her call you tomorrow. She's an awesome musician, you'll love her."

Trash furrowed his brow. "She? Now wait just a second..."

"I have to run." Yvonne blew him a kiss, giggled, then rushed out the door.

"I don't know about no girl guitarist!" Trash yelled after her, but he heard the door slam closed before he could get the last word out. "Shit!" He flopped back against the pillows and sighed. "She better have huge fucking tits, that's all I'm saying!"

__________________________________________

Rick frowned. He walked into the living room and found Avery, fast asleep on the couch. "Stupid..." Rick sneered. He threw his coat onto the chair by the door then went to the couch and shook Avery awake. Avery opened his eyes and looked up at Rick, still groggy.

"Hey Rick, what's up?" He yawned.

"Avery, why did you leave the front door unlocked? Anyone could have just walked right on in here and you wouldn't even have known it. You could have been killed, or worse!"

Avery blinked. "What's worse than being killed?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. Stop trying to be funny." He pushed Avery's legs off the couch and sat down next to him.

"Sorry, I guess I just wasn't thinking about it at the time. Besides, I didn't plan on falling asleep." Avery stretched and yawned again. He picked up the pack of cigarettes on the table, popped one out, and lit it. He offered the pack to Rick but Rick shook his head.

"I think I found a way to save us, the band I mean. Avery it's so awesome. We can get the money we need to get the ware house and also get some exposure for the band. We'll have so many offers we'll be turning people away!"

"What is it?" Avery asked, sounding a bit excited now.

Rick handed him the flyer.

Avery unfolded it and read it over. "A 'battle of the bands', Rick, are we even ready for something like this?"

"I think we are. Look Avery, first place earns us five thousand dollars. Even third we'd be taking away five hundred, but just think about it. Five grand if we win, and with you as lead vocal I know we can win. Avery this is our chance, we can so do this!"

Avery looked up. He wanted to be as enthusiastic about it as Rick was but he just wasn't sure. There were still so many things to consider. "Even if we do enter, we're a member short and don't forget, we don't have any place to rehearse right now."

"Trash took care of that. He has a buddy that owns a night club. He'll let us rehearse there when he's not open. And as far as finding another member, we can get by with just the three of us for right now. You'd have to take over on guitar as well as singing but you can do it."

"Me, take over on guitar?" Avery stared at Rick in shock. "No way in hell man! There's no way I could take over for Mikey, I can barely play Mary had a little lamb!"

Rick sat back, rubbing his temples. "We'll just have to find somebody then. I'll talk to Boomer. He might know some guys that could do it even just temporary till we get someone permanent."

Avery raised an eye brow. "Yeah, and where's he gonna look-the retirement home?"

"Funny Ave, you're a real barrel of laughs today."

Avery shrugged. "Sorry, but it's not like he runs with a real hip crowd these days Rick."

"Look, we'll figure something out. We have a month. We can sign up for it now and in the mean time look for a guitarist. If we scrounge up enough cash we can probably go ahead and rent the warehouse. Hell, I'll move into it. That way I can save money on rent. I'll even eat tuna fish everyday for the next three months if I have to. Avery, I really want to make this work."

Avery considered what Rick was saying. They could more than afford to rent the ware house if they won the five grand, but that was a big if. The exposure would be nice also, it would be a way to really get their name out there and possibly pull in some more gigs. Still, there would be a lot of bands there and probably with more experience. While Avery had every confidence that Desire could one day top the charts, he just wasn't sure if they were up to the challenge of battling other bands at this juncture in their careers.

Ricks idea of giving up his apartment to save money wasn't a bad idea either but Avery couldn't really expect him to move into a ware house just for the benefit of the band. That wouldn't be fair to Rick when Trash and Avery weren't really sacrificing anything, and Avery had no intention of giving up his place to live in a musty old, cobweb infested, ware house in the middle of nowhere.

"It's great that you're so excited about this Rick. I want our band to succeed as much as you do I guess I'm just not as sure that we could actually win." Avery smiled half hearted. He folded the flyer up and handed it back to Rick. The crushed look on Ricks face made Avery's heart sink. "I'm not saying it's a bad idea, and I'm not saying no." Avery went on to explain, "I'm just saying that we really need to think about it, weigh all pros and cons before making a final decision. Have you told Trash about it yet?"

"No." Rick sulked back against the couch cushions. This wasn't how he had expected this conversation to go. Where was the excitement and enthusiasm? Avery was supposed to throw himself on Rick and declare him their savior. He was supposed to see Rick as his new knight in shining armor and fall madly in love with him, forsaking Brian and his Irish sex appeal. None of that happened though and Rick suddenly felt like a giant ass. "I came straight here the minute I found out about the concert. I—I wanted to surprise you. I thought you would be really psyched about the idea."

The concerned look in Avery's eyes disappeared as his entire face lit up. He was beaming, flattered by what Rick had just said to him. "You wanted to surprise me? Really? Awe, that is so sweet!"

Rick sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, you can stop acting like a love sick groupie now. I just knew you were stressing about the money, and I thought that this would be a great way to try and get our hands on some extra cash."

Avery giggled. "That really is sweet though Rick. It's nice to know you care."

"Of course I care about you. I mean, I care about what you think, obviously. That's not all I care about though, I mean—fuck; I'm just going to stop talking now." Rick diverted his eyes away from Avery. The look on his face was just too damn cute and Rick was getting flustered. 'Damn it!' He ran his fingers through his hair. 'I sound like a fucking idiot!'

Avery became flushed. He knew that his face must have been burning bright red. Rick never ceased to amaze him and today was no exception. It touched Avery's heart to see Rick so worked up and passionate about the future of the band. He was ready to push ahead, through every obstacle that was thrown in their path, undeterred from their goal. Avery loved Desire, and he loved his band mates. Seeing Rick feel the same kind of devotion really meant a lot to him. He suddenly wanted to do something that would prove he had the same kind of loyalty to the band that Rick had.

"I was thinking...your idea about moving into the ware house to save money wasn't a bad idea. I don't think you'd really be happy living there though, and I don't know how serious you were about it either. But if you were serious, and you wanted to save a little extra cash, I might have a better idea."

Rick glanced up, catching Avery's gaze. Avery was blushing and his eyes were wide and so dazzling. His green orbs almost seemed to glow in the dimly lit room, like a cats eyes. Rick took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart. "I am serious about it." Rick said finally, "I'll do whatever it takes to keep this band together."

Avery smiled warmly. "Well, then, I was thinking...I have a spare room here and I don't really use it at all. Other than when you stay over that is. I know it might not be the ideal situation for you, having a roommate, but my apartment is bigger than that tiny room you live in now; and at least you'd have a full kitchen and wouldn't have to share a bath room with the rest of the building. It's just something to think about, but in the long run I think it could save you some money, and we could put that money towards getting the ware house fixed up, if we go ahead and rent it."

Rick was suddenly speechless. Was Avery actually asking him to move in with him? Well, just as a roommate, but still. Part of him wanted to jump at the chance but there was another part of him, deep in his subconscious, that was screaming at him 'Bad idea! Bad idea! Don't do it!'

'Shit.' Rick questioned himself, 'What should I do?' He must have looked appalled because Avery looked away, disappointed.

"It was a stupid idea." Avery feigned amusement. "Just forget I even brought it up."

"No..." Rick had to say something fast to salvage this. He could have kicked himself. The last thing he wanted was for Avery to think he was afraid to be near him or something. That wasn't the issue at all. He wanted nothing more to be near him. He just didn't know how long he could go on pretending that he didn't have feelings for him. It was bound to come out eventually, and if they were living together, he was certain that it would be sooner rather than later.

Rick had to wonder though; would that necessarily be a bad thing? Honestly he had no idea how Avery would react. At the very least, being a gay man, he would have to understand. And if Rick did tell him, he might resend his invitation for Rick to move in. Still, he felt that he owed Avery an explanation at least.

"It wasn't a stupid idea." Rick was so nervous. He couldn't believe that he was actually going to do this. He sucked in a deep breath then exhaled slowly. "I'll take that smoke now, if you don't mind." He said.

Avery picked up the pack and handed it to Rick. Rick took it graciously and shook out a cigarette then put it between his lips. He placed the pack back on top of the coffee table, picked up the lighter next to it, and lit the cigarette. "I actually like the idea and I'm tempted to take you up on the offer..."

"But?" Avery watched Rick closely. He was tense and his hands were shaking. Rick looked like he might suddenly jump up and run out the door. Avery was starting to get concerned.

"But...I'm worried that it might cause things to get awkward between us."

He looked at Avery then, watching his face and waiting for a reaction. Avery narrowed his eyes and leaned back, putting more distance between them. "Awkward how, why, because I'm gay?"

"What? No...God no!" Rick put his hand on the back of his neck and looked up at the ceiling. This wasn't the way he wanted this to go. He'd planned on telling Avery how he felt about him but somehow managed to piss him off instead. No, that wasn't quite right either. He didn't exactly looked pissed, well maybe somewhat, but there was something else there. The look in his eyes was pained, as if Rick had just slapped him. He looked...hurt.

Avery was staring at Rick hard, waiting for an answer. His face was blanched and the gleam had gone out of his eyes as tears welled up in them. Rick felt sick to his stomach. He hated seeing Avery this way. He began to think maybe this wasn't the best of ideas, but it was too late now. He had to tell Avery the truth, or he would think Rick hated him.

"I have no problem with you being gay." Rick moved closer on the couch to where Avery was seated. Avery had turned his back to the arm of the couch, one leg folded under him while the other he had bent at the knee, and resting against the back of the sofa. Rick slid over so that Avery's leg was now behind him while the knee of his other leg was pressed against Rick's knee. He turned to face Avery and when Avery looked down, breaking their eye contact, Rick slipped his fingers under his chin and lifted his head back up.

"Avery, I'm not homophobic. If I gave you that impression, I'm very, very, sorry. I know that I've been treating you differently lately and I'm sorry for that too. It's not fair to you. I've just...I've been struggling with something for a while and I wasn't sure how to tell you, or even if I could tell you. You have enough of your own crap to worry about; I guess I didn't want to burden you with mine."

Avery put his hand over Rick's, his expression softened. "Is it Tonya?" He asked. "Is she pregnant or something?"

"What? No!" Rick had to stifle a laugh. Avery was so innocently clueless, it just made Rick want him even more.

"Then what's going on?" Avery asked. The concern in his eyes was very apparent.

"Well..." Rick took a deep breath, mustered up what courage he had left, and said, "Avery, I'm in love with you." He cringed when he heard himself say the actual words. He honestly didn't think he'd have the guts to say it but he did and oddly enough, he felt relief now that it was out. His only fear now was how Avery would react to his declaration of love. Would he laugh at him? Would he be furious? Rick held his breath as he waited for Avery to say something.

Avery tried to speak but his voice was cut off; all he could utter was a soft little, peep which greatly resembled the trill of a bird that had suddenly been strangled to death, mid song. At first he wasn't sure he'd even heard Rick correctly, in fact, he was certain of it. There was no way that Rick had just told him that he was in love with him, it was absurd! Avery scratched his head then looked around as if he expected to see some woman standing behind him, but of course there wasn't. He looked back to Rick who was now watching him nervously. Avery narrowed his eyes. "You're in...wait, what?!"

Rick groaned. Now that he'd said it, he was thinking that his being honest was maybe the worst mistake of his life. He put his hands over his face then smoothed his hair back over the top of his head. "I know this is kind of a shock to you—"

"A shock? Rick, it's ridiculous! You're straight!" Avery stood up and started pacing the room with his hands on his hips. "Is this some kind of a joke?" He glared at Rick, accusingly. "I swear if this is a joke..."

"It's not." Rick sighed as he shook his head. "I'm serious Avery; I really am in love with you."

"You can't be." Avery hissed. "I'm a guy. You only like girls, or did that little fact slip your mind?"

"Trust me Ave, I'm as confused about this as you are."

"Oh baby, I am WAY passed confused! In fact I'm really close to hysterical right now."

"Avery, just try and calm down." Rick stood up and started to walk towards him, but Avery put up his hand to stop him.

"Don't..." Avery told him. "Just don't, okay. I...I just need a minute."

Rick nodded and took his seat on the couch once again. They both remained silent for the next few minutes. Avery returned to the couch and sat with his right arm propped up on his knee and his hand over his mouth as he thought about what Rick had told him so far.

Rick lit another cigarette and just sat there, silently puffing on his smoke, unable to look at Avery as he waited for him to speak. Avery bowed his head and exhaled slowly. This was too much for him to deal with. He secretly wished that he could just stop time, rewind the clock, and go back to the start of the day, before any of this had happened. That could work if this were all fantasy, or a dream, but it was reality and he had to face it.