Avery's Desire Pt. 16

"Oh I know that you didn't want it." Avery smirked some. "I could tell the first time that we made love that you had never been with a guy before; you had no fucking clue what you were doing, but lucky for me you're a fast learner."

He winked at Rick and Rick smiled. "And how do I rate now?" He asked.

Avery leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "The best I've ever had."

Rick kissed him back, cradling Avery's head in his hand. "We good?" He asked him.

Avery smiled. "Better than. You're not going to get rid of me that easily. I love you."

Rick kissed him again. "Baby, I love you more than you could ever possibly know."

"I'm tired." Avery yawned some as he leaned his head against Rick's chest. "Will you lay down beside me till I fall asleep? I feel safe when you're beside me."

"Of course." Rick told him. "You don't even need to ask."

Avery blushed. Rick helped him into the bed and covered him with the sheet then he snuggled up beside him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. He kissed Avery's lips. Avery smiled and closed his eyes. "Love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." Rick whispered back. "Now get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

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When Avery woke a few hours later he heard a knock at the door. He sat up just as Doctor Palmer came through the opened door way, pushing the privacy curtain to the side so that he could see his patient. He greeted the pair with a friendly smile. Rick sat up and quickly excused himself to use the restroom.

"How are we doing today?" Palmer asked Avery.

Avery shrugged. "Good I suppose, still sore in some places, but I guess that's normal."

Doctor Palmer nodded. "It will take some time for your muscles to heal completely. Over all though I'd say that your coming along quite well."

Avery nodded. "I can walk short distances on my own, I'm able to eat and drink a little more. It hasn't been easy but I'm determined to get out of here so I've been working hard to get better." Both he and the doctor laughed a bit and Doctor Palmer nodded to him.

"We'll give it a couple more days; keep working with the therapist and I'll go over her reports, if she thinks your ready to leave then I'll have no problem discharging you. I'm going to order out patient physical therapy for you though, and I think it would also benefit you to start seeing a sexual assault counselor. I can give you the names of a few that are used to working with men who have been abused."

Avery nodded some. "I'll think about it." He said quietly.

"I really think it would help you to process everything that's happened Avery. They won't judge you or think badly of you, I promise. Also, it's completely discreet. Please consider it."

"I will." Avery said again.

"Good." Palmer smiled once more. He put his hands into the front pockets of his lab coat as he thought if there was anything else that he wanted to tell Avery. "Well, if you don't have any questions for me, I think that's about it."

"Thank you doctor. I don't think I have any questions right now. All I know is that I want to go home."

"Well, like I said, we'll give it a few more days and see how you're doing and if the on staff therapist thinks your ready then I'll discharge you. Keep up the good work and I'll be back in a couple days to check on you."

Avery thanked Palmer again. Palmer waved good-bye as he walked out the door and back out into the hall, presumably to check on his others clients. Avery didn't know and he really didn't care. The only thing he really cared about was that he might be getting out in a couple of days. He couldn't wait to be released. He wanted to go home and get on with his life.

Avery turned over in the bed so that he was facing the bedside table. He picked up his cell phone and after hitting a few buttons waited for the line to be picked up.

"Hey dad?" He said when his father answered the phone. "Hey, I was wondering if you're still in town. You are? That's great. I'm getting discharged in a few days and I was wondering if we could meet someplace to talk. Yeah that's fine, I'll text you when and where. Alright. Yeah, I'll see you then. Thanks. Take care."

He snapped the phone closed and set it back on the table then laid back against the bed and waited for Rick to return.

____________________________________________________________________

Grayson Duprey walked into the small cafe around noon. It was a quiet little place with decorative tables set around a bay of medium sized windows partially obscured by the light tan, coffee cup adorned, curtains. He immediately detected the savory aroma of sweet rolls and expresso. The shop wasn't very busy, either due to the time of day or lack of business, Grayson wasn't sure but either way he was glad for the privacy.

He quickly found his son, Avery, sitting at one of the tables near the back of the shop. Grayson took a deep breath, adjusted his coat, then walked to the table and sat across from Avery. Avery was looking better than the last time that Grayson had seen him. Much of his color had come back and his eyes were no longer swollen or red. Most of the bruising on his face had faded and was barely noticeable though he could still see the faint hint of the cuts along his upper and lower lips and above his right eye.

His hair had been neatly trimmed and no longer resembled the mess of chopped layers that he'd had while in the hospital. It also looked clean, recently washed and neatly groomed. His bangs fell across one eye, the sides touched the tops of his ears but the top and back was considerably shorter. Small spikes were held in place by hair gel and stood up in the back making Grayson think of a porcupine. He also noticed that Avery had outlined his eyes with black eye liner and colored his lids with grey shadow. His nails were painted black which matched his clothing. He was seated at the table with his feet wrapped around the front legs of the chair and his hands cupping a hot cappuccino.

Avery looked up as his father approached him. "Thanks for coming." He said softly.

"Thank you for inviting me." Grayson nodded to his son.

Avery sipped his cappuccino and watched as a waitress came to the table to take Grayson's order. Grayson looked at Avery. "What's good here?" He asked him.

Avery shrugged. "Everything I guess. I normally get a mocha cappuccino, but their other stuff is good too."

Grayson looked up at the waitress and smiled. "I'll have a caffe Americano." She smiled back, jotted down his order then hurried away. Grayson looked back to his son. He leaned back in the chair and folded his hands in his lap. "So, I assume that you wanted to talk to me about something." He said. "Since you were the one who asked me here."

Avery nodded. "I wanted to say thank you for coming all the way up here to see me. Honestly, I never expected you or mother to make the trip. I thought you had pretty much written me off."

"If I'd written you off completely I wouldn't have been supporting you this entire time."

"Fair enough." Avery took another sip from his cappuccino then set it down again on the table gently.

His father watched him thoughtfully. Avery had disappointed him in so many ways but as he sat there staring at the young man now he couldn't help but feel a tinge of pride in him. Avery had been through so much, suffered so much, and yet here he was, strong, determined, and ready to face the uncertain future with his head held high. Even his father had to admit that the boys perseverance was admirable.

"What's the real reason that you asked me here?" Grayson leaned across the table and looked his son in the eye. "I know that you didn't call me just to Thank me."

"No..." Avery leaned back in his seat and sighed nervously. He'd had the entire conversation worked out in his mind before he'd arrived but now, sitting across from his father, he was finding it difficult to speak. Grayson had always been a very formidable parent. As a child, Avery saw him as this imposing tower standing over him with fierce, angry eyes and a stern, if not cold, demeanor.

Seeing him now, all those old feelings of being inadequate had come back to him. He was suddenly that little boy again standing in his fathers shadow, seeing that hateful stare as his father looked down on him, almost as if in judgment of him. The disappointment etched across his face, his brow furrowed and his lips twisted into an ugly sneer making him look older than he actually was. Even back then he knew that Avery was different, maybe even before Avery himself knew.

But Avery remembered the disproving looks that his father had always given him. Avery was never good enough, never smart enough, never the son that his father had wanted him to be. Even his siblings treated him like the odd one out. They never thought that he would amount to much, that he would always be a burden to his parents and an embarrassment to the family. That was eventually why Avery left.

He was given a choice, conform or leave and he chose to leave. He couldn't, in good conscious, stay with a family that would never accept him for who he was and he refused to pretend to be who they expected him to be. In the end, none of them would have been happy with that arrangement, especially not Avery.

"I asked you to meet me here because well, first of all, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate everything you've done. I really didn't expect you to help with the hospital bills but I'm grateful that you did. There is no way that I could afford them all on my own, and I know that it was difficult for you to come here too. I could tell that by the way you acted at the hospital. I wished you would have stayed a while longer, but I understand why you didn't."

"You told your mother to leave." Grayson pointed out. "I just assumed that you meant for both of us to go. I'm not about to stay where I'm not wanted and really, I didn't appreciate the attitude that you gave your mother."

Avery narrowed his eyes as he felt a twinge of anger at his fathers words. "I didn't appreciate her attitude with me." Avery snapped. "Neither of you have any idea what I've been through, or how I feel. When you showed up at the hospital I was actually happy to see you. I thought that maybe...I don't even know. I guess I was being stupid but I really thought that we had a chance to start over but now I see that neither of you are going to accept me for me. You still have this preconceived notion of who you think I'm supposed to be and you just totally fail to see who I am."

Grayson sighed. "I think you're asking a lot if you expect either of to accept...this." He waved his hand over Avery indicating his appearance. "Have you even stopped to take a look at your self? You're nineteen years old Avery, you're not a child any longer and yet you insist on dressing and acting like one. It's time you grew up and grew out of this phase of yours. Get a real job, learn to take care of yourself and stop trying to stand out all the time. It's your own actions that get you into trouble. After what happened I had hoped that you'd realize that and maybe act a bit more responsible. A bit more conservatively"

Grayson stopped talking as the waitress came over with his drink. She sat it down in front of him and Smiled. "Can I get you gentlemen anything else?" She asked.

Avery shook his head. "I'm fine." He said softly.

Grayson smiled at her. "No, thank you, we're both good."

"Alright then." She smiled again warmly, laid a few napkins on the table and then hurried away to check on another table.

"She seems like a nice young lady." Grayson said as he picked up his cup and took a drink of it. "I'd say she's probably close to your age as well. Shes polite, respectful, hard working. Just the type of young lady I'd like to see you with."

"I'm in a relationship." Avery told him.

Grayson nodded and raised an eyebrow, patronizingly. "Oh yes, The young man that called me. Rick isn't it?"

"Yeah." Avery confirmed. "His name's Rick and I'm very happy with him. Even if were single I wouldn't have any desire to date a girl, you know this."

"Well, I'd rather hoped it was a phase you'd outgrow."

Avery rolled his eyes. "Being gay isn't a phase, it's a way of life. I didn't wake up one day and decide to be gay, I was born gay."

"You most certainly were not. I don't know what happened, what I did wrong with you, but you were not born gay. No one is born gay, it's something that goes wrong in your brain, like an illness."

Avery laughed at that. "You saying I can be cured?"

"I think if you really wanted to then yes, you could be cured. It might be hard work to get there but I think that with the right kind of treatment you could be normal."

Avery narrowed his eyes. "I am normal!" He raised his voice slightly as he leaned across the table and looked his father in the eye. "That's the problem with you, mom, Jake and even Ashley. You look at me like I'm some kind of abnormality, some dirty little secret that needs to be swept under the rug. You think I'm not normal but I am, this is normal for me, there is nothing wrong with me!"

"Please lower your voice." Grayson scolded. "And the only thing wrong with you is that you're lazy. You don't want to put in the effort to change. It's easier for you to just give up and say that you can't change. You choose to be this way because it's the less complicated path for you to take."

"Less complicated?" Avery stared at his father, his eyes wide with disbelief. "My life is far from uncomplicated. I didn't choose to be gay anymore than you choose to be straight. No one in their right mind would choose to be gay. My life would have been so much easier if I were straight! Since I came out as gay I've been bullied, alienated, and tormented by assholes. I've lost a lot of my friends, and I've lost my family. What makes you think that i would honestly choose any of that?"

"You didn't lose your family." Grayson sighed and ran a hand through his greying hair.

"Well what would you call it?" Avery asked, curtly. "I've been ostracized by pretty much all of you. Ashley won't even speak to me anymore. You and mom basically told me to change who I am or get out. That's why I left. Then, when you showed up here, I honestly thought that you came because you loved me, but you came out of some misguided sense of duty."

"You think I don't love you?"

Avery nodded as a tear slipped down his cheek. "I know that you don't. The question I have though is did you ever? Was there ever a time in your life when you did actually love me? I know I was a mistake, you and mom didn't want anymore kids and you've resent that fact that I..."

"Avery, stop." Grayson reached out and touched his hand. "You're mother and I love you very much, we always have and we always will. That's why it hurts us that you choose to live this way. You say that you didn't choose to be homosexual, fine, but you did choose to live the way that you do. Singing in bars and nightclubs, you're not even old enough to be in one. It's dangerous, especially for someone like you."

"Someone like me?" Avery raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Grayson said sternly. "Someone like you. You're small and well...effeminate. You know that you are, you've always been that way."

Avery rolled his eyes then turned away from his father, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh don't pout." Grayson growled. "You know damn well that what I'm saying is the truth. You've never been a fighter yet you always seem to get yourself into these messes that someone else always has to clean up. I'm not saying you're a coward because I know you're not. You just tend to bite off more than you can chew. What happened to you is a direct result of the lifestyle that you've chosen."

Avery flinched as though he'd just been slapped. "What happened to me wasn't my fault." Avery sneered. "I didn't ask for it and it has nothing to do with my lifestyle."

"Doesn't it? You go around to these homosexual clubs, sleep around with different men jumping from bed to bed, what did you expect would happen?"

Avery turned to face his father again. Man he wanted a cigarette bad. Had he been in Boomer's bar he would have lit one up and no one would have said a thing about it but he couldn't smoke in the cafe which had him suddenly wishing that he'd chosen a different location to meet his father in. Avery sighed, rubbed his temples, then lifted his head and glared at Grayson with a look of pure contempt.

"I don't sleep around." Avery told him. "I was involved once with the guy that attacked me but I'd broken it off long before any of this happened. I'm in a monogamous relationship with Rick so I'm not jumping from anyone's bed.

The person I was involved with before Rick was away on tour and I didn't even sleep with Rick until I had ended things with Brian. I don't cheat, and I'm not a whore. The asshole that assaulted me is a whore, but I'm not!"

"And I never said that you were, but you must see how dangerous it is. Have you ever given any thought to what would happen if you contracted Aids, or worse?"

Avery smirked, "What's worse than contracting Aids? Becoming a republican?"

"Very funny." Grayson shook his head. "I'm being serious here. I worry about that all the time."

"Dad, Aids comes from having unprotected sex with an infected person, not from being gay. I could get it just as easily from a woman. There are straight people who are HIV positive too you know."

"I am aware of that but its a proven fact that HIV and Aids is more prevalent in gay men. Especially those who engage in role variability."

Avery shifted uneasily in his seat. "Please don't try and give me the sex talk now, you're a little late."

Grayson nodded. "I'll spare us both the embarrassment of that speech."

"Thank you for that." Avery sighed a sigh of relief. His sex life was the one conversation that he really did not want to get into with his father and their current conversation was heading in just that direction.

"I just hope that you're being safe." Grayson added. "You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean." Avery finished the cappuccino that he'd been slowly working on, then sat it down and stared into the empty cup. "I am safe, and I get tested regularly. I'm not stupid."

"No, that's one thing that we both can agree on. You've always been an intelligent boy and I've never thought otherwise. You have so much potential and it upsets me to see you throw it all away."

"But that's not the life that I want." Avery sat back in his seat and looked down at his hands that he had folded in his lap. "I know you wanted me to go to college and be a lawyer or a doctor or something along those lines but I would never be happy doing that. That's what I've been trying to get you to see. I'm doing what I love. I love to sing and I really think that I have a chance of making it big. I have talent. If you would come and hear me sing..."

Grayson put his hand up and shook his head. "I have no intention of stepping foot in some bar or night club, even if you are singing there. To be perfectly honest, I'm not happy with that fact that you're allowed into those places to begin with. You're not twenty-one yet and it's not legal but, you are an adult now and I suppose that I really can't tell you what to do."

"No, you're right about that. Not that you could ever really tell me what to do when I was a kid. I mean you tried, but I never listened." Avery gave a quick little giggle when he saw the look on his fathers face.

"You don't have to remind me of that." Grayson said. "I remember how defiant you were all too well."

Avery smiled as he thought about the past. He did have some happy memories from his childhood, quite a few actually. It wasn't as though he'd come from a broken home. It was just that over the last few years he'd allowed all the good memories to be over shadowed by the bad ones.