Awake

I glanced at my watch, and with Samson now taken care of, I was again ahead of schedule. Janet took me into his room, introduced me and stepped away to do something else.

Rob turned out to be an amazing man. Sitting upright in a bed, constraints in place to keep his body from falling out, he almost seemed normal as I entered. It was all I could do to not stick out my hand and say "Pleased to meet you." Instead, he grinned and said "Forgive me if I don't rise and greet you, I'm feeling a bit out of sorts these days, but if you'd like to lean over we can always butt heads."

I laughed, and said something, to which he told me outright, "Gallows humor -- I now understand it fully. Nothing you can do, so you may as well make fun of yourself."

It turned out that after the accident Rob had been set up by his company with a fully automated electronic work station that he was more than willing to show me. With voice activated software, head controls for everything else, he was still a valuable asset -- just one that couldn't attend meetings in person. With a teleconference screen and phone set-up, it was only for personal necessities that he needed Janet or the nurse assistant for help. He'd never be able to be alone again in his life. Janet was there nights, a full time nurse assisted every day.

"Janet says she's been using your pool -- she's starting to get a pretty good tan, don't you think?" I was immediately wary -- she was beginning to get a nice light brown tone, but was there something hidden in this question? I didn't know, so answered truthfully.

"Yeah, I understand she's been up using the pool while I'm at work. I've found notes a couple of times."

His voice dropped a bit as he continued. "She seems to enjoy it; gives her someplace to go to for a while to get out of here. Even with a nurse assistant, she's my real caretaker, 24 hours a day. It's got to be very frustrating, giving up the rest of your life to take care of me. Do you know what the difference between me and a vegetable is?"

His fluid move into gallows humor caught me by surprise, and I gave the standard, "No, what?"

"I've got a mouth." I didn't think it all that funny -- but grinned anyway.

"Looks to me like you've found a way to be very productive," I said, waving my hand at the large computer screens and paraphernalia.

"I'm glad I got my education before this all happened, doing homework would have been a bitch," he laughed.

I laughed with him. Glancing at my watch, it was time to go. Janet stepped back just as I said I had to leave, and I noticed she'd changed clothes. The blouse she was wearing dropped down between her boobs, displaying large amounts of tanned flesh. "Look at that tan!" Rob exclaimed, "Looking good, isn't she?"

"Oh stop it," Janet interjected -- I wisely didn't comment, instead saying again that I had to go. Janet showed me out, I told her to call if she needed anything.

~

The beauty of caller ID is that it shows us what programmed into the memory of the phone we have. Sometimes what we think we know is misleading.

"Janet?" That's what showed on the screen, why should I think it was anyone else?

"No, it's Rob." Despite that except for two pats on the butt, and an underlying sexual tension that said that something could happen, it hadn't. But why did my heart do a flip-flop as if I had, we had, been doing something wrong?

I suspected that perhaps Janet was interested in a little more than a neighborly relationship; I definitely found her attractive. It had been months since Debs was taken from me, for the longest time I hadn't even been interested in sex -- or at least I thought I wasn't. And then one night I'd awoken unexpectedly, having experienced something that hadn't happened since I was 14. The memory was as vivid as the puddle of semen on my belly, and it wasn't my deceased wife I was dreaming of sucking my cock. All of this passed through my mind in the split second between when he started talking, I recognized his voice, and I responded.

"Hey Rob, what's up?"

"Can you come over and see me? I'd like to talk for a bit."

I expected Janet to answer the door; instead it was the nurse assistant. She said that Janet was out, but led me into Rob's room. He asked her to close the door on the way out.

"What's up Rob?"

He didn't answer immediately, his gaze fixed out the picture window that gave him his only real view on the outside world. "Sometimes when I look out there... and realize that I'm probably never going to see another view, another real view of anything else in my life...." The pause went from collecting thoughts to being a pregnant pause.

"Did you love your wife?"

"Are you kidding?" I couldn't believe the question at first and then realized it was serious. "Of course. She was my alter ego; she was the yin to my yang. Why?"

"What if she hadn't been killed outright? What if she'd been a quadriplegic like me? Would you still love her?"

"Of course."

"Would you have given up everything to take care of her? Would you have given up your life, your future, to take care of her?" I realized there was deep import to his line of thought.

"I'd have gladly traded places with her," I said quietly, returning the intensity of his questions with an equally intense answer. "You can't think how many times I've cried, and begged God to wake me up from this nightmare, to make me realize that she's alive and I'm dead in her place."

He nodded. "Of course you would. You'd gladly give up your life for her to be alive, but that's not what I asked. If she'd been a quadriplegic, if she'd been stuck in a bed, never able to move again. If she'd been relegated to a life of never being able to move again without help, could you have done that? Could you have given up your life, your dreams, your hopes, to spend your days wiping her butt when she pooped? Helping a nursing assistant give her a sponge bath? Holding a bed pan under her chin when she's sick all night and throwing up?"

I thought about it before answering. Could I? Would I? There was no doubt. "Yes."

"Do you really realize what that means?"

I thought I did, I didn't even answer -- I just imagined the everyday, wake up and do it again routine. Could I do that? Yes, I was sure that I could but he interrupted my thoughts.

"You travel for work. When was the last time you ate at a restaurant? When was the last time that you saw something different? When was the last time you were able to sit down and have a conversation with someone -- and have it not be about your paraplegic wife?

And what about the other things -- Janet says you go running nearly every morning -- you couldn't do that before someone was there to relieve you. What would you do for work? You'd need to continue to pay the bills, but how would you be able to do the traveling that your work requires if you had to be home every night? And what about other physical needs? When was the last time you had sex?"

His pause made me realize this wasn't the hypothetical questions of the last few minutes, this was a real question -- he asked a question and wanted an answer.

"The morning that Debs died." He nodded.

"It was two days before the accident." I realized he was talking about himself, and by default, Janet.

"I don't get any reaction anymore. My tongue still works, although that's a bit of an adventure." He grinned wryly and continued, "But nothing works down below. I can't feel anything, I can't do anything. I know -- we tried." He paused a second, letting me think about what he'd said. "So what would you do? Debs is a quadriplegic, but your sex drive still works. Would you ask her to blow you? Position her in some awkward position so you could shove it in her mouth and get your rocks off? Would you try and fuck her anyway -- maybe use some KY jelly and tell her you still love her but just use her body for what it no longer does? Would you start going to prostitutes, or find a girlfriend that had needs too and you might fall for her and eventually leave Debs? And how would Debs feel; you being relegated to masturbating or sneaking out to get what she can't ever do for you again?"

I was taken aback. Obviously I hadn't thought of all the ramifications of what it meant to be stuck in a bed for the rest of your life. I hadn't thought of all the nuances of becoming a total care giver for another person. I sat and thought a bit, my mind gradually extrapolating to a conclusion.

"Where are you going with this, Rob?"

His look was all it took, it told me the conclusion that I'd already reached.

"I want you to fuck my wife."

"I can't do that, Rob. My response was instantaneous and just like before, not totally thought through. Playing together with others was one thing, having a committed relationship and sharing I could understand, but cheating with another man's wife, causing another man's wife to cheat? To me -- that was different. But yet, despite my instantaneous response, my mind began to churn. Who was it that I'd had a wet dream about? Was asking me to have sex with his wife any different than asking me to do anything else for her, or rather, for them? If he'd asked me to change the oil in his car, I'd have done it in a heartbeat. If he'd asked me to paint the house, I'd have done it -- or have helped to make the arrangements if I didn't have time, and even helped to pay for it if need be. If he'd asked me to come over and cook dinner for her because she was sick in bed -- I'd have been there. I didn't say anything, and neither did he, for several moments. He just let me churn through my thoughts.

"Why me?" Again he didn't respond instantly, but when he did -- it was well reasoned, well thought out.

"Why not?" He let me think but continued before I could respond. "You're currently single. You're close by, but yet you're not here all the time. You're apparently quite a dish -- at least according to Janet."

"She said that?"

"She did."

"When did she say that?"

"When she told me that she'd found you skinny dipping and you'd stayed naked. She told me again when you found her sunbathing naked, and that you put aloe on her."

"Really? She just told you that?"

"When I asked her what got her so horny that she'd broken out her vibrator and taken care of herself in mid-day, she told me that if you'd made a pass at her she would have been really tempted." Neither of us said anything, I just nodded.

"Look, Jim. I love my wife; she means the world to me. She's my heart and soul, but she's also too young to be a nun. I can't help her out in the sex department, but you can. I don't want you to fall in love with her and being, what, maybe 15 years older than her that's less of a risk than someone her own age.

I know she's been going over to your house more and more often. I suspect that the day you caught her sunbathing wasn't quite as accidental as it seemed. Ever since she caught you skinny dipping, I know she's been going over, probably to try and catch you again. Whether you knew it or not, you've become her fantasy.

You know, it took her probably 6 months after the accident before she started masturbating. She thought she was being discrete, but one of the things about not being able to move is that it makes you more aware of everything going on around you. I can hear it when she uses her vibrator, I hear a lot of things I never did before. She likes you, I like you as far as that goes."

I just looked at him, nodding in thought. This was totally foreign to anything I'd ever thought of before... Or was it? Hadn't Debs and I years before decided to help out friends, sexually help out friends -- that were in need of help? How was this any different? The thought popped in my head, and then another, more important.

"What about Janet? Doesn't she get a say in this? What if she doesn't want it?"

He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "You're a good man, Jim. I know enough about my wife, all she needs is permission, and she's ready. We had a talk quite a few months ago, I told her that I couldn't be happy, knowing I was making her a nun. I told her I love her, and don't want to lose her, but if the opportunity comes along for having a bit more fulfilling life, she should go for it. I'm sure she will. Set it up, ask her to dinner and a movie and I'll make sure I'm covered here for the night." He paused momentarily and then said, "Just one more thing."

"What's that, Rob?"

"Don't take her from me?" His voice broke as he said it, and glancing closer I saw glistening in his eyes. "I love my wife."

"I know you do."

~

I felt like a kid in a candy store; I hadn't had a "first date" in years. I actually bought a new pair of slacks and a shirt (well -- not without help. I told the girl in the clothes store that I had a first date and wanted to look hot and she helped. I am an Engineer after all.) I made the reservations, checked it out with Rob that he knew we had a date (he did, and said Janet had actually made arrangements for the evening shift to be covered, but not to worry he wasn't expecting her back before morning.)

Janet looked fabulous. She wore a great looking dress that dipped down between her breasts, leaving ample flesh showing and me wondering whether she had a bra on underneath. She'd dressed to kill, looking every bit the Hot Wife -- it's just that she wasn't mine. I'd told her we were going to a nice place which turned out to be Mr. A's, a restaurant overlooking the harbor and downtown San Diego.

Dinner was great; we took long enough that we missed the movie and just headed back home. We talked about Debs, we talked about Rob; we talked about how our lives were so much alike. When we pulled into the driveway and I offered her a nightcap; we both knew what I was really asking.

Opening the front door I took her hand and led her to the living room. I'd left the lights on for when we got home, now I turned all the lights off except one so we could have the view from the living room but still see each other. We sat on the couch overlooking the valley, but I don't think we ever looked. When I bent my face to hers, she didn't hesitate, our first kiss was mutual. For the first time my hand slid up onto her breast, her hand went around my neck in response. When I slid my hand from her exposed cleavage under the top of the dress to fondle her bare breast, she moaned in approval, her nipple rising to my touch. Her hands were all over me, mine were roaming hers at the same time. When I slipped my hand onto her backside, feeling her bottom and her panties, she suddenly sat up. "Give me a minute, I'll be right back, but I have got to go to the bathroom." I realized that I did too; she went into the front bathroom while I went further back, but I still got back to the living room before she did.

When she returned, she slid onto the couch and back into my arms. Our kiss resumed, our hands stroking each other's bodies, seemingly increasing the temperature in the room but it was only in our bodies. This time when my hand slid onto her bottom, I recognized there were no longer any panties underneath. If there had been any doubt about how far this was going, she'd removed that doubt along with her panties. When my hand found her bottom, she pulled away from the kiss long enough to whisper, "don't you think you should undress me now?" I didn't need any further urging.

Our clothes and our bodies ended up on the floor together. Although we were both raring for sex, we took time exploring further before we actually did it.

When we were finally naked on the floor together, I pulled back on one elbow to examine the body that I'd just seen slightly in profile and through the water of the pool before. Janet's breasts were slightly larger than Debs had been, but although they were larger, they were still firm, without sag, explaining why I'd not been able to tell originally whether she was wearing a bra or not. Her stomach was hard, she obviously worked out regularly, and her pussy was shaved, but not totally. Her pussy lips, as I'd seen that day by the pool, were fairly large but hairless, while a small landing strip accented her belly above her pussy. When I slid a hand to her crotch, her legs spread, welcoming my fingers. Taking my time, I stroked and suckled her body, her hand slowly stroking my cock, until she whispered, "I'm ready."

Despite the length of time that it had been since I'd had sex, despite that this living doll underneath me was hot and wet and horny, I was able to hold off and not just come like a first time teenager. When I slipped inside, her hand guiding me into place, her legs rose and wrapped around mine. I began moving inside her, missionary, but sensed she wanted something harder. Putting my arms down I snagged her legs, and moving back a bit pulled them up over my shoulders. This time as I leaned back in, my cock didn't just slither into her wetness, it skewered her. "Oh God, Yes!" she moaned, almost doubled underneath me. The position, the friction, was good for me too, although I started coming before she did, I managed to keep it up long enough that she came before I collapsed, still inside her.

Our first time was just a start. We were both experienced lovers, and although she moved differently than my wife Debs had, the results were the same. It took just minor instructions for each of us to know what the other liked. I hadn't expected to get hard again as fast as I did, but seemingly just moments after our first, I found myself getting hard again to her touch. When she rolled over and presented me her ass, pulling up onto her knees, I slid into her from behind to do it doggie. Pulling up close, I reached around to finger her clit, only to find her hand already there. Instead I straightened up, grabbed her hips, slamming her bottom back against my belly again and again. When we collapsed back onto our sides, we did it sideways, later she rolled me over and climbed on, getting herself off again, but still we continued. Flipping her sideways, me on my knees, one of her legs extended between my own and holding her other leg upright against my chest, I levered myself in and out. She came a third time, and this time I came right behind her.

We never did get a drink of anything except each other. She never even questioned how when she said she needed to go home to relieve the assistant and I said to not worry, it was covered. Instead she took my hand and led me into my own bedroom. She didn't need to tell me what to do from there.

The sky was already light when I awoke. Sliding my hand towards Debs side of the bed in the way I had for years, instead of finding the normally cool sheets of the last few months, my hand instead encountered the smooth warm flesh of a woman. Befuddled at first, somehow in my partially awake state I knew that the bed was not supposed to be warm any longer. My mind rapidly transitioned over the intervening months, realizing that although this wasn't the love of my life, it was my lover, and we'd just shared a special night together.

Janet stretched luxuriously, her arms raised above her head, and turned onto her back toward me. I slid my hand up onto her belly and onto her breast, her body lifting into my touch like a cat in response. She grabbed my arm with hers, holding it to her chest and rolled toward me. "Thank you."

I bent my face to hers and kissed her lips -- a chaste good morning kiss. I was sure my morning mouth must be offensive

She sighed. "I really needed that."

"I could tell." She rolled completely over, offering her backside to me in a spoon, holding my arm between her breasts. We just lay there waking up for quite a while, our thoughts running silently through our heads, knowing it was time for her to return to her world. "Do you want to take a shower before you go home?" I asked when it was obvious we'd both totally woken up.