Awakening Ch. 02

Chapter Two - Ecstasy

The next morning, bleary eyed from lack of sleep and surly as ever in my new personality, I barely tolerated Mom's presence as she made breakfast. I must have given her a nasty glance at one point because she ripped off her apron and strode purposefully out of the kitchen exclaiming "Fine, fix your own damn breakfast!" So I finished poaching the eggs, then sat and ate them with toast that now tasted like ashes. I heard a car door slam, Mom's engine come to life and gravel peppering our house as she blew down the driveway. Things were certainly not getting any better.

Finally I got up, put my work clothes on and headed for Laura's. Her car wasn't there, so I went out to the area I was working on, thankfully one of the few remaining thickets needing attention, and got at it. I was so into destroying what was in front of me and my mind so occupied with conflicting images, that I did not hear Laura's car drive up nor her steps as she neared.

"Hi Aaron!" She called from about 15 feet away

Startled, I turned my head, stepped back and tripped over a branch and fell backwards – the ax flying from my hands. I must have struck my head as the next thing I knew I was hearing my name "Aaron, Aaron are you OK? Aaron!"

Groggily, I sat up. "I think so," I said. However when I went to move my foot into a better position from which to stand up, pain shot through it and up my shin.

"Oww, I think I may have twisted my ankle or something."

"Oh Aaron! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Laura cried. "Let me help you up."

I straightened my leg and felt around my ankle and foot with my hands. Nothing seemed out of place, but I could feel a little swelling just below my ankle. "I think its OK, but there is a little swelling."

Laura held out her hands and steadied me as I rose. It hurt to put weight on the injured foot, so she took my arm and placed it around her neck and with her support I hopped over to a tree trunk I had felled earlier.

I sat down and Laura knelt in front of me taking my foot in her hands. She removed the shoe and it was obvious the swelling was starting in earnest. "I don't think we'll get to the house walking," she said looking around. The tractor was pretty close by. "How about if we get you on the tractor."

"Ok." Laura helped me up again and together we did a three legged hop to the tractor. I crawled up and onto the seat.

"Can you drive this over to your car?" Laura asked.

"I think so," I replied. But when I tried to press the clutch, excruciating pain shot up my leg and involuntarily, I gasped.

Laura saw the pain and said "What can I do?"

"I think you will have to operate the clutch," I said. The tractor we had was one of those old Fordson models from the 50's. It was a great acreage tractor, with a three point hitch and the gearing to pull small implements, but it wasn't made for two people. It had one of those old steel seats with the holes drilled through it, held up by a leaf spring.

So the only way this was going to work was if Laura sat in front of me, and drove. I could see her hesitate a little, but then she began to look determined and climbed on, positioning herself at the front of the seat while I did everything I could to avoid contact.

"How do you start this thing?" She asked.

"Turn the key in the ignition and press that button," I said, forgetting that the tractor was in gear and that Laura may not realize it. "The throttle is that lever," I said, pointing.

The tractor lurched forward a few inches, then stopped suddenly. Laura was initially thrown back against me, then me forward against her as the tractor came to a rest. So much for decorum.

I said "Shit, I'm sorry, I should have told you the tractor was in gear!"

"If I'd been thinking, I would have realized that," Laura replied. "Its not like I haven't driven a standard before, where there is a clutch there are usually gears."

Laughing a little, Laura pushed the clutch in and started the engine. "Where should I set the throttle?" she asked.

"Maybe just a little above idle. You'll have to let the clutch out slowly."

Laura let the clutch out and the tractor started moving ahead, then as the clutch was fully out, was suddenly moving faster than she wanted. The tractor was bouncing over the rough ground and trees were coming up quickly. She panicked a little trying to steer out of the way."

"Press the clutch," I yelled. "Press the clutch!!"

She looked down, found the clutch with her foot and the tractor rolled to a stop, gently coming to rest at the base of a tree.

"Whoa," we both breathed.

"I'm sorry," I gushed. "I should have given you way better instructions. Why don't you turn it off for a second and I'll talk you through it."

With that she turned off the ignition. I could see she was shaking. "Are you OK?" I asked as I placed my hands on her shoulders to steady her. Unexpectedly she leaned back, resting against me and said "Yes, just give me a few seconds."

With my hands resting awkwardly on her shoulders those few seconds turned into what seemed like minutes. Silence descended upon us. Time seemed to dilate and all was right with the world. My mind was a complete blank and I didn't care. I wanted this moment to go on forever.

At some point, the silence was pierced by the calls and songs of birds and the wind rustling through the leaves above us. Laura shook her head, sat forward and said, "We have to get you to a doctor before your foot swells up like a balloon. What do I do?"

"If you centre the gear shift in neutral, reverse is all the way to the right and down, toward you. It can be a little tough to shift. Maybe try it now with the engine off. Sometimes the gears are aligned and it will go in easy."

Laura tried that and said, "I don't think its going into gear."

"Ok then we'll have to start it. Do everything the same as last time, with the throttle just off idle."

Laura started it and tried to get it into gear. "It's still not going in."

"You may have to let the clutch out a little so the gears will align, and then it should go right in," I said.

The gears ground a little as she let the clutch up and attempted to force the lever into place. It wasn't working.

"Can you do it?" Laura asked.

"Ok, if you can shift over a bit, I should be able to reach it."

She shifted over to the left a little and I reached for the gear shift. Unfortunately it was right between her legs.

"Laura, could you move your right leg over a bit please?" I asked, embarrassed.

"What?", she said looking down to where my hand had to go. She moved her leg a bit and then said, "We don't have time for this, just get it into gear."

So I reached down, conscious of my forearm touching her right thigh, grabbed the gear shift and moved it into place. Reverse was still blocked, so I said "Let the clutch out a little."

She did, and as soon as I felt the gears move, I jammed it into place, my forearm pressing firmly against her upper thigh. I let go right away and said "Its in gear."

Laura let the clutch out slowly and the tractor began to reverse. I said, "If you back up a bit there is a path off to the left. I'll tell you when to turn."

It took a few moments to back up. Laura got it stopped after backing into the adjoining path and queried "What gear should we be in?"

"Probably first or second," I said.

"Aaron, you put it into gear please. I'm nervous enough after just about killing us."

I reached between her legs again and decided to put it in first, which would reduce the amount of skin contact I would have to make. I managed to get it into gear without any drama, and off we went.

The problem with first gear is it is really slow, essentially made for farm work. I thought it best choice given the first attempt. But we were some distance from the house and driveway so it was going to take about 5 minutes at this speed. And then "it" started to happen. My foot was completely forgotten at this point. Now that we were in no danger and all we had to do was crawl slowly over the relatively rough ground to the vehicles, I became aware of what was sitting directly in front of me, pressing gently back, moving from side to side a little as we bounced over roots, rocking ahead, falling back.... I began to get hard.

Desperately trying not to embarrass us both, I moved as far back on the seat as possible so there would be no contact. At first, I was successful and I didn't think Laura noticed. However, the ground was rough, and contact was inevitable. And now that I was right hard, every contact between us was highlighted by the presence of an additional member on this tractor. At one point I pressed so far back, I lost my balance and was starting to flip over backwards. As my legs lifted off the deck, Laura grabbed one and pushed it back down, bringing my groin into direct contact with her skirted backside.

"Stay there!" She hissed. "Don't make this worse than it already is. I can't afford to lose you now."

You'd think I would have been embarrassed enough to lose my erection. But you'd be wrong. And Laura changed nothing in the way she sat against me. She did not pull away, just continued the rocking and backward and forward motions. The penis in my jeans stayed awake, grateful for every little contact that came its way. I kept my hands on the tractor's fenders though, holding on for dear life and afraid that if I didn't, they might do something I would regret.

Laura pulled the tractor up to her car and brought it to a halt. Not moving, she reduced the throttle and shut the engine off. She then put her hands on the steering wheel and said, "Aaron, I want you to listen to me for a minute or two. We will go to the hospital shortly but there is something I need to say. I was coming to see you this morning for a reason.

Your mother and I have been talking about you for the past couple of weeks and we are both concerned."

I said "Hey, what?" I could feel my erection start to rapidly shrink away.

"No," said Laura firmly. "I want you to listen to me. If you want to say something, do it after I'm finished.

As I said we have been discussing the change in your behaviour in the couple of months. And I think I am partly to blame."

I started to protest, but she cut me off again saying, "This is going to be hard for me to say Aaron, so I beg you, please just listen."

So I did.

"I overreacted when I went to your Mom about you staring at my breasts. It shouldn't have been a big deal. I know what boys your age are like, I taught them for 10 years at the high school in Rochester for goodness sake! I get how hormones work.

I have to tell you why I moved here. My husband was not a nice man. He was a very successful solicitor but he had a mean streak. Maybe that's why he was so good at his job. Anyway, he was not only mean, he was controlling. I really loved teaching and he knew it, so as he started to make more money, he started to insist that I leave teaching and spend time at home. He kept at it and about a year later, I gave my notice, knowing it was the wrong thing to do, but I felt I had to. I was the wife. He was the husband. I had been brought up to be dutiful and really thought I had to do what he wanted.

Once he had me at home, he started to control me in other ways. He would call home several times a day and if I wasn't there when he called, I would be punished. Sometimes he would throw the supper I had carefully prepared out or even at me. Soon I was unable to have friends over. If he found out, he would strike me. Before long, I was completely alone, except for whatever attention he paid me, good or bad.

Then it started to go further. He informed me that I would have to be obedient to him when he came home. That I would have to dress and act the way he wanted. He started to make me wear skimpy outfits and walk "sexily" (she said shaking her head) around in front of him. I did this for a few months. When me made love, actually I don't think it was love anymore – just sex, he made me submit to his will and do whatever he wanted."

One day, he invited a friend over. This "friend" had obviously been prepared for what he was going to see, and my husband said things like "Look at this slut of a wife I have. Doesn't she have great breasts? Look at her ass. Isn't that just the perfect slut ass?" The friend agreed and looked at me with a hunger I can only describe as the most evil look I have ever seen. Then I knew. I was going to be forced to screw this friend of his.

Right then, I knew I had to do something or I would be lost forever. So I bolted to the front door, opened it and ran out into the front yard. I got about half way to the street, when my husband caught me and started dragging me back. I screamed and lashed out but it did no good. He dragged me right back in.

I didn't know it at the time, but our neighbours were in their yard working and had an unobstructed view of what was going on. Neither my husband nor I saw them. They were good people and had been friends of ours until my husband shut them out of our lives."

Laura paused for a few seconds. She straightened her arms in front of the steering wheel of the tractor, took a deep breath, and continued.

"Inside the house, my husband hit me, dragged me into our bedroom and commanded me to stand in front of his friend. I could see that the friend was a little nervous at this point, but he didn't leave. 'Feel the slut's breasts Jake' he said. So Jake leered at me and did just that. After that he was told he could do whatever he liked with me and he did. I didn't resist.

In the morning with the friend gone, my husband was so angry with my attempt at escape that he started knocking me around. He threw me so hard that my jaw hit the edge of a coffee table. I felt it snap and there was blood all over the place. The skin was broken right from the side of my mouth down to my jaw. As I lay on the floor, stunned, he sat down on the easy chair and waited. 'Learn that lesson well, Slut,' he said. He let me lie there for half an hour before finally getting me up and to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, he told them I had fallen down the stairs. The triage nurse asked me if that is what happened and I just nodded, 'Yes.' I could tell the nurse didn't believe it, but she took charge and got me into an emergency bed right away, telling my husband that I would be going right into surgery and that he should wait out in the common room. He started to protest a little, but the nurse gave him such a fierce look he backed off and left the triage area. I felt a little envious of her strength as I watched her work and I felt ashamed of myself, of how weak I was.

What saved me were our neighbours. They watched our house closely for the rest of the night and the morning. They saw the "friend" go in the wee early hours. In that neighbourhood, the houses aren't close together, so there is lots of privacy, and normally no one would have noticed the goings on. However, because they had been in their yard close to our property they had observed the situation and were concerned. The wife had tried to maintain our friendship and she told me later that she was increasingly fearful for me. Anyway, they were watching when we left the house for the hospital, saw the blood soaked cloth I was holding to my face as we drove by, hopped in their car and discretely followed us.

I owe my life to them. They knew some of the staff and convinced them to keep my husband away for a while under the guise of my treatment, and got a friend of theirs – a psychologist – to talk to me right there. This was before the surgery, and I could hardly make myself understood. When the story started to come out, they called the police –unbeknownst to me – who listened behind two way glass. When the police heard what they needed to hear they arrested my husband, who by that time was causing a scene at the nursing station – demanding to see me.

I never went back to that house. Fortunately the right people arrived in my life at the right time. They convinced me I should stay completely away from my husband, that if I went back I would be lost entirely. And that terrified me. I had enough will power left – he hadn't taken it all – to start rebuilding my life away from him. If he were still alive I would still be afraid of him.

It was only a couple of weeks after I escaped that he was killed. No one knows whether it was intentional. The lawyers in his firm assured me they would help as much as possible, and they have. Apparently there was no love lost between my husband and his partners. They had seen his ugly side over the years.

And that is what brought me here, to this place. I wanted a new home. A Refuge."

Again she paused for a moment.

"Do you see Aaron?" Laura asked. "Why I overreacted? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble."

I was listening, absolutely stunned at what being said. By the time she had finished, tears were starting to stream down my face. As she got up and started to step off the tractor, I started sobbing. I was thinking how I had left Becky in Rick's control. I had done nothing to help her. Rick could be abusing her right now for all I knew.

I could not stop heaving. Laura looked at me with alarm and said, "Jesus Aaron." She helped me off the tractor and onto the ground. Then she held me in her arms as I continued to sob. It was probably five minutes before I could stop. She didn't let go, just held me and rocked a little.

As I started to get a hold on myself, I choked out "I'm so sorry Laura. I had no idea. I am so ashamed!"

"Aaron, its not that bad, you did nothing any other young man your age wouldn't have done. You can't beat yourself up just because you looked at my breasts. Another woman may have been flattered. Now lets get you to that hospital. No don't say anything right now, we can talk more later if you want."

"But?" I objected, wanting to tell her about Becky.

"No buts. Lets get moving."

So the moment passed ... and I was just a guy getting a ride to the hospital. My mind whirled with information. Everything that had happened over the past few weeks was circling in my head. I had nothing to say. I felt empty inside, selfish, undone.

There was only soft tissue damage to my foot. The doctor said this kind of injury 'often hurts worse than a break', and that I should stay off it for a few days, keep my foot up and use some ice. He wrapped my foot and ankle with a tensor bandage and indicated I should probably keep that on most of the time too, to keep things stable and keep the swelling down.

I was issued a set of crutches at outpatients. Laura paid the deposit as I had nothing with me and we headed out to her car.

As we drove towards home, Laura said, "Rita is leaving today isn't she?"

I'd forgotten, Mom was indeed leaving for San Francisco for a conference. "Yes, I guess she is, I'd forgotten." In my state of mind, I hadn't paid much attention to her life in the past few weeks.

"When is she leaving?"

I had no idea and said so, looking over at Laura. She gave a half smile, crooked because of the scar, and shook her head at me. "Aaron, Aaron, what are we going to do with you?"

"Yeah I know, I haven't been much of a son, or even a person, lately"

"Take it easy Aaron, things aren't so bad. You'll make it through. Things will look brighter soon enough."

"Yeah, right," I muttered under my breath.

We turned into our drive and Mom's car was gone. Laura drove up to the house and stopped. I got out. She got out too and started to accompany me into the house.