Awakening to Her True Nature

"By the gods, Sheena, you did it!" declared one woman. "You held the line! Had even that small party broken through, it would have been a disaster!"

"Are you alright?" asked another soldier, this one a man.

She managed a nod. "I'm unhurt," she said with shuddering breath. "See...see to the others...will they live?"

"They'll be fine," someone announced a moment later, as she was wrapped in someone's cloak and another comrade brought a waterskin to her lips. "They'll recover tomorrow. You held the line."

No one questioned her undress, or what they had clearly seen. No one saw anything wrong with it. To any other warrior, Sheena merely wound up in a less common form of combat. No shame. No doubt. Much the opposite, in fact.

Already she heard it as strong arms gathered her up to carry her away: "You're a hero!"

* * *

In every sense, the declaration was true. Even Sheena knew it, once she'd heard the full outcome of the battle. The main engagement ran to a stalemate, with Acruviel's forces holding the raiders at bay. They halted the Kemet advance toward the outlying settlements in the hills and the city beyond. Yet the presence of Marcus on the right flank with a group of elite raiders rather than amid the main body was surely curious. Shortly after her struggle ended, the main engagement broke off and the Kemet retreated to their encampments back behind the great river.

By holding the elite raiders until help arrived, Sheena had foiled their plans...whatever they might be. As a result of the skirmish on the right flank, Acruviel had captured many of Marcus's fallen, but none had recovered enough from their enchanted injuries to answer questions. Clearly the main body had been a diversion and not the full attack. Still, by fighting to the last, Sheena kept the enemy's leader occupied, held up their objectives, and prevented any of her fallen comrades from being taken captive.

Little was said of her sexual encounter. That it happened was known, and openly lauded as much as her skill in battle. No one cared about the details. No one questioned her. Everyone knew it was a struggle of will and that the tides of battle shifted unpredictably.

The beautiful queen herself hosted Sheena at a feast in honor of the heroes of the battle, with Sheena the most lauded of all. She was presented with a magnificent new sword, a generous pension, titles and favors.

She enjoyed the glory and appreciation. She felt pride in her victory, for to merely hold the line against all odds and foil the enemy's plans was indeed all the victory that mattered. She never doubted her triumph.

Yet something inside her felt hollow.

* * *

Three nights after the battle, she asked to be placed with the guard at the Temple of Itanna, the warrior goddess. Her request was granted. The temple stood on a hill near the battlefield, but it was considered secure and scouts did not believe the enemy would move again soon. A little more time away from the front lines was in order, said her superiors, though in truth she felt fine. Better than fine. At least, physically.

The captain of the guard told her it was an honor to have her present. He already had a full complement of guards around the hilltop temple and its forested surroundings, but he was pleased to accommodate her. He granted her whichever watch she chose. It grew clear that she was very welcome, but that her presence was not strictly necessary, and that she would enjoy great leeway in her duties.

She spent the first night's watch dutifully familiarizing herself with the guard and its positions. On the second night, she requested and received permission for an audience with the high priestess, Laurala. It was the first private talk she had with the priestess since the final days of Sheena's ascension to full warrior status, when each warrior spoke with one of the priests. Before then, Laurala had been a valued guest instructor in sword and dagger, and worked with Sheena several times. They also met much more intimately during her sexual training. Though they did not become close associates, Sheena always felt a bond that Laurala seemed to value.

They met in the main hall of the temple as Laurala's servants arranged offerings and materials for the next full ritual in three days. The high priestess was an icon: a former warrior herself, tall and blonde and strikingly beautiful. As with many of champions in the Nine Kingdoms, the gods graced Laurala with great longevity. She was eighty, and barely looked old enough to be young Sheena's mother—her beautiful, still youthful mother. Of recent years, she took to showing off her beauty more and her warrior tendencies less, though everyone knew how her arms were still so taut and her belly so flat after decades of war.

Yet Sheena was drawn as much by Laurala's servants as her wisdom and connection to the gods, or more to the point, what her servants represented. She'd won them as thralls in her years as a warrior. Laurala's exploits were legend, including the number of men and no few women who'd fallen under the thrall of her sex. Still, as a rule, details were kept private...which left Sheena wondering if she'd find the answers she sought.

"The hero of the hour," Laurala beamed as Sheena entered. She stood at the altar before the great statue of Itanna, who reached out with blade and open hand under a vaulted ceiling. Laurala's white dress showed off her figure and her endowments, with its silken fabric reaching up from her waist to tie around her neck and cover her breasts while leaving the center and her sides bare. Laurala stepped around the altar to meet Sheena among the pews. "Guards, leave us," she said to the man and woman at the door.

Sheena noted the presence of Laurala's seven thralls. They continued about their chores. They were all of them fit and very attractive, five men and two women, all from outside Acruviel. All conquered in battle. All now Laurala's obedient servants, whose discretion and privacy Laurala trusted apparently more than even the guards.

They sat in the benches surrounding the altar and statue, knees turned slightly toward one another and close enough to reach out and touch. Laurala started with small talk, congratulating her again on the battle and moving on to simple things. It was only after one of Laurala's handsome servants brought them wine that she moved on to more direct questions...and after Sheena noticed an openly lusty, appreciative look from Laurala at her servant's backside when he left.

"This was your first sexual encounter in battle," said Laurala. It had been noted before, when the two met at the queen's feast.

"Yes."

"May we speak intimately?" She waited for Sheena's solemn, appreciative nod. "I thought this might be why you came to me. How do you feel?" It was a question she'd asked before, yet the proper answers were obvious. Now Sheena could speak private truths. She could confide and confess.

"I'm unsettled," said Sheena. "It was the most intense experience of my life. By far the most intense. I can't stop thinking about it."

Laurala smiled. "Ecstasy beyond your dreams, isn't it?"

"Yes. I see now how warriors can become addicted to it, despite the dangers. Every time I thought it could not be more intense, I was proven wrong."

"Indeed," Laurala said fondly. She gestured to the servants still working in the temple, who cleaned and organized and kept their distance. "Now you know why I have so many. I'll admit, after the first, it was all I could think about, too. My first encounters were...undecided, like yours. All I wanted was to return to that frenzied bliss, even with all its dangers."

Sheena took a deep breath. "I don't know if my battle was undecided," she confessed.

The priestess caressed her shoulder with a reassuring hand. "How so? You held the line. You would know if you were enthralled. We would all know. What is undecided?"

"You know the story? The last raider standing out of the first wave initiated it. He wrestled me into position. That was a contest, but he had an advantage. I was off-balance. It happened quickly."

Laura shook her head and placed one hand on Sheena's. "Do not blame yourself. It was battle. Things go back and forth. This has happened to me, too, even late in my career when my skill exceeded most others. It's fine. Talk to me. You clearly wish to talk. And do not feel bad for the emotions or thoughts this might recall. This is between you and the gods." She paused, watching Sheena closely. "You were surprised at how quickly it happened, yes? How quickly you became engaged?"

"Yes," Sheena answered. Her breath slowed, but grew heavy. "He...disrobed me and...entered me so quickly...I know the arousal of combat, but the buckles of my armor...my clothes...it seemed effortless for him."

Laurala nodded. "It happens that way. Easier for an opponent in battle than it is for you to do for yourself in peace, hm? It is the will of the gods. They truly approve of these contests. That is why they are not more harmful, and why the pleasures are so intense."

"We fucked for...I don't know how long. I couldn't believe how good it felt. In the first few moments, I didn't even know how to focus and contest what he did to me. Then I gathered my wits and focus, and it got even better. In fact, it kept getting even better, no matter what happened. Every time I thought I hit a limit, I was proven wrong.

"I came for him, Laurala. We both came together."

"That's wonderful," the priestess assured her. The older woman's eyes sparkled. "Normally that signals a quick downfall, but you hung on, and you achieved at least some measure of satisfaction. I imagine it may not seem that way, but to end a battle without cumming at all is maddening. And if he came, too, then you lost no real ground."

"Didn't I?"

Laurala held her tongue. She paused, probing Sheena with her eyes and her silence. "What happened then?"

"Then the others appeared and Lord Marcus joined in. I thought I was done for. I didn't even try to keep his cock out of my mouth. I thought to meet my fate bravely."

"And you did." Another pause. "Tell me about him?"

"Marcus? He's...overwhelming. His scent, his looks, his voice. All of it. Handsome, but also he seems invincible. You can see why he is their leader. He leads through dominance. And he was...the other one, Brendon, was well-endowed and already a match for me. Marcus was much more than that. I couldn't believe how I reacted to him. Laurala, I still feel weakness even talking about him. Both of them, really, but Marcus was...my reactions frightened me. And yet they felt so pleasurable."

"Interesting. I'd heard as much, but not from a firsthand encounter. Go on."

"He's not here to conquer or sack the city. At least, I don't believe so. He said...when he found me with Brendon, he said that our contest was more important than their mission. It was as if he was more interested in their taking me as a trophy and a thrall than whatever his original goals were. They had some other mission, obviously. I mean, who am I to them? Yet whatever their goal, Marcus put it off to finish things with me. He seemed fixated on that."

Laurala fell silent for a long moment, watching Sheena but with her eyes far away. "He was with a raiding party, not a full detachment to inflict a strategic blow," she murmured. "And he altered his plans or his priorities when he came upon you."

"I think so, yes."

The priestess considered this. Sheena watched. She suspected Laurala came to some sort of decision when her eyes met the young warrior's once more. "And then?" she prompted.

"There's not much more to tell. I had resigned myself, and I thought I would lose my mind. Then help arrived and the enemy fled." Sheena shrugged. "And as I say, I can't stop thinking about it."

"Likely they can't, either," Laurala smiled. "Give yourself credit. No one walks away from such contests unaffected. I, too, was deeply impacted by my first encounters, and they ended as yours did, too. Without a victor. Yet I could not deny that I wanted to return to that very sort of battle. I yearned for it. Once I'd conquered one or two thralls of my own, I found the true rewards for such combat outweigh even the pleasures of the battle itself."

Sheena's eyebrows rose. "Truly? Even after the battle?"

"Oh yes, darling child," said Laurala. "For both parties."

Her eyes went wide. "How...? I thought once vanquished, a foe was enthralled, but..." She fell silent. "I'm sorry. It's not to be spoken of."

Laurala grinned with a conspiratorial glint in her eye. "Do you know why we do not speak of it, Sheena? It's because the truth could affect the outcome. The privacy of victor and vanquished isn't a matter of faith. It's implied, yes, but this is an earthly practice, not a divine mandate." Her voice dropped. "I could tell you, if you swear to hold the truth to yourself."

"Of course," said Sheena.

The priestess gestured to her thralls. "You notice they are at peace, yes? They are more than obedient. They are devoted and content.

"Sex in battle sets a sort of standard between opponents...or partners, as they become afterward. Yes, the truly conquered can be made thralls to their conqueror's pleasure, as mine are. Yet they are content, because what breaks them is the admission that they can't have enough of their conqueror. If they are taken in, that sort of sex continues.

"The wild privilege of conquering is that the sex is still that good, Sheena. Sometimes a little less, but sometimes a little more. It's still far better than any standard sex, and it never gets old. I've had some of my thralls for decades, and I still love fucking them. I love their service. You might be shocked how much of my time is spent in coitus. It is my privilege, it is my reward from the gods...and it is their reward, too. Surrender to conquest is not a life of misery. It is surrender to one's deepest desire." She looked around the chamber and grinned. "I can no more stop fucking them than they can resist me."

"Why is this a secret?" asked Sheena.

"Because it is knowledge that could affect the outcome. It could affect the warrior's resolve, or at least that's the belief among the leaders of the warrior cults. They all have a thrall or two of their own. They know." Laurala winked. "If you knew that surrender would continue your bliss, wouldn't you be more tempted?"

The thought blew Sheena away. She considered it, releasing a long, unsteady breath. "I was so close, and I didn't want to let down my comrades. Or become enthralled myself."

"I know that feeling, too. Especially the feeling that you are close to losing everything." Again, Laurala gestured to the attractive servants around them. "These are not all my conquests from over the years. They aren't even a quarter of my triumphs. The rest I either released or let go or quietly offered as gifts, and yes, that is every bit the treasure you might expect. These seven are the ones who came closest to defeating me. They drove me to the highest pleasures before breaking or surrendering, and they still do. Only now there is no question who is in control. They will do anything for me. There is no more trustworthy servant than a thrall. We can all drop the competition and simply enjoy. With my thralls, I play as a bottom at least as often as I am top."

Sheena listened intently. The impact Laurala's words had on her feelings and her concerns would take a little time to sort through, but her first reactions were mighty, and compelling. "And they are not ashamed of their defeat?"

"No. The shame of defeat through the flesh is a mortal concern. That is a matter of kingdoms and societies and social pressure. The gods favor these contests. Remember what you have been taught. The one true wish of the gods is that we all find our truest selves and our truest destiny. They want us to be happy. Kingdoms rise and fall, and in truth, we've seen little change of borders between the Nine Kingdoms for centuries. That must be the will of the gods. They are content with the larger scheme. But for each individual, they want us to find our way.

"The gods care not whose banner you follow. That is a matter of kings and queens and warlords. The gods want you to find your true nature and embrace it." She squeezed Sheena's hand again, hoping to impress those words upon her.

"I became addicted to sexual battle, yes. Until I had enough victories that I felt satisfied with retiring from the warrior's life...and until true challenges became too rare. But I learned the truth of all this early on, and that is why I did not fear defeat. I never found anyone who could conquer me. I am still thrilled to be undefeated and to enjoy my treasures. But even in defeat, I would still be content. More than content."

"How?" Sheena asked.

"As I said, consider the intoxicating pleasure of those who almost defeated me. I've kept them, several for decades now. They still provide much the same heights.

"Now ask yourself why anyone should deny themselves the level of pleasure that would conquer them. That is a personal matter. I would never pass judgment on that. Once one is faced with such a moment, banners and liege lords no longer matter. It is between the contestants and the gods...and the gods want us to embrace our true natures.

"My destiny has been to conquer, Sheena. For that I am more grateful than I could say. Yet after all my victories, even though it would cost me my glory and my status, I would not shy away from an opponent I thought capable of conquering me. Far from it. And I would feel no shame in defeat." She gave Sheena's hand another squeeze. "The gods want this, Sheena. Kings and queens want our loyalty and our victory on the field. The gods have another agenda. Win or lose, in victory or in defeat, the gods want us to fuck."

* * *

The watchers on the river never saw her pass. She knew their positions and their ways. The raiders guarding the other side of the river never saw her coming until two were on their backs in the grass and another was up against a tree with a knife to his throat.

"Quietly now," Sheena taunted, her body alive once more with arousal and ambition. "We don't want to make a fuss."

Her prisoner noted the telltale dull, red glow of Sheena's blade. The agony it delivered would not kill, but he did not relish the thought of it. "It is still only mid-evening," he warned defiantly, though quietly. "The camp will still be awake."

"That's fine. Where do I find Brendon?"

The raider blinked. He glanced to his comrades, slowly picking themselves up off the ground and unsure of how to handle this. They, too, held back from attacking her...and didn't seem to have an answer to her question. "I don't know a Brendon," said the raider against the tree.

Sheena considered it. Brendon was clearly a warrior of great skill, but also young like her. He was likely not a captain or a lieutenant. He may not have made a name for himself yet. Sheena held much the same standing until their battle elevated her. A week ago, she was merely a promising novice. The raiders almost certainly had no clue who she was. She doubted many of those who escaped had even seen her face. To these guards she was, like Brendon, another mere young warrior.

Except she knew very well there was nothing "mere" about Brendon. There was nothing "mere" about the fire between her legs, either, or the trembling need that did not show to her foes but that she nonetheless felt through her shoulders and her limbs and her core.

They didn't know Brendon. She knew only one other name, but they would surely recognize it. "Bring me to Lord Marcus."

* * *

Her armed escort built as they walked her through the camp, but none of the raiders tried to disarm her. Sheena walked proudly at their center, concealing her trembling anticipation. She knew she was being watched but was content that they went along with her demand, even if warily. She didn't blame them for that.