Awards Night

Matt Moreau won for 'best developed characters', DanielQSteele won something because he's DanielQSteele and just being DanielQSteele means he has to win something. TXTallTales won something, even The Wanderer got to take one of those little statuettes off the stage. That was terrific, let me tell you, sitting at his table, looking at that all night. That made me feel even better about myself. Awesome.

I continued drinking after the evening's ceremonies concluded. During the party afterwards, I got a lot of sympathetic murmurs, "Sorry you didn't win", "There's always next year" (which, for best newcomer, there certainly is not), "You got robbed" and possibly the best -- and certainly most ironic - of the evening, "Jezzaz, I choose YOU." I think that was PennLady.

At some point I realized the wife wasn't with me any more. I'd gone to get a drink at the bar and when I returned to the people we were talking to—English Bob I think it was—she was gone. I wasn't too worried. She'd be making the rounds, being sociable and probably telling stories that I wouldn't look great in, as she is wont to do. I don't really mind, since most of them are pretty funny. The Chicago Radio DJ story still made me laugh, but there was times when I just wished she'd shut up because while the stories were funny, most of the time I looked like an idiot in them.

Anyway, about an hour later the party was winding down. I was now aware that the party atmosphere had turned. It was no longer post awards, and was now almost sex club. People were pairing off, and not with the people they'd come with, - even I, drunk as I was, could see that, - and vanishing off to hotel rooms.

I was less thrilled with this behavior -- not because I'm a prude, but because I hadn't known this was coming and I didn't know where Katie was. She wouldn't have taken any of that crap from someone coming on to her and eventually someone would get a knee in the balls and there would be screaming and pain and blood and she'd have creased her dress or something and be upset because it would be my fault, somehow.

I did another wander, looking for her and not finding her. I decided she'd probably gone up to the room, so off I went. Plus there was a minibar there and I wasn't done drinking yet, not by half.

As I let myself into our suite, I could hear voices and I realized that Katie was indeed in the room, probably with the TV on or something.

Well, it was definitely "or something". The TV was on all right. On some porn channel that I winced at, because this was Vegas and it was probably costing me $20 a minute. I realized that there were clothes all over the place. And not mine. And not Katie's, unless she'd taken to wearing tuxes.

The door to the other suite opened and Matt Moreau walked about, stark naked, recently used knob swinging around. He saw me, nodded and went to the mini bar and took out a beer and went back into the bedroom. I don't know what annoyed me more - that he was naked in my suite or that he'd taken a drink from the mini bar that I was going to have to pay for, probably with the blood from my first born child. Drinks in those mini bars are Fucking Expensive.

Anyway, I did a great impression of a flycatcher and suddenly came to myself and surged forward, into the bedroom.

They were all in there. StangStar06, TheWanderer, Matt Moreau, English Bob, Just Plain Bob, all of them. Everyone who had won an award was in the room, in various stages of undress. On the bed, squeezed in between Slirpuff (who, it has to be said, is a very well equipped man, I couldn't help noticing), with his cock in her mouth and Just Plain Bob, who was nut deep in her from behind, was my darling wife. She hadn't even taken off her dress, it was just rucked up from behind.

Katie looked over at me and made eye contact and said something like "werg eyedeed see..." before pulling the large piece of wedding tackle out of her mouth and saying, "Hi, honey! I started without you. I did say I was really looking forward to fucking winner and well, you didn't win..." She smiled and just took that huge horse cock back in her mouth as I stood there, doing my best David-Tennant-as-the-Doctor impression and saying, "What? What? WHAT?"

All the guys started chanting my name. "Jezz, Jezz, Jezz, JEZZ!" getting louder in volume. I closed my eyes, wanting the world to end.

I sat bolt upright, eyes wide, disturbing Katie's hand on my shoulder. She was sitting up in bed, looking at me concernedly. "Are you ok, honey? You've been tossing and turning all night. Who is 'StangStar'?"

I looked wildly around our darkened bedroom, my heart rate slowly returning to normal. Katie had been shaking me and calling my name for the past four or five minutes because I was obviously having a nightmare.

I REALLY need to stop writing for that damn website, particularly late at night. When these Ingrams stories were done, I'd definitely stop...