Back to Bristol Ch. 15

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GaryAPB
GaryAPB
855 Followers

"I won't be told what to do by you. I'm her husband. This is my house." He glared at me, and his voice went up a notch, "I want you to leave. Now."

"No. I'm not happy for Molly's safety with you getting worked up. I'm not leaving until I've seen you leave, and Molly's locked the door behind you. I'm sorry. You'll have to find another time to say your piece."

We stood face to face, across the kitchen table for a long moment, and then his shoulders slumped.

He looked at Molly, "I would never hurt you. You know I wouldn't." and he walked out of the door, closing it loudly behind him.

I looked at Molly, tension was draining from her, "You've got to move out. You can't live here like this for the whole of the divorce process, it takes months."

She shrugged, "There's nowhere to go."

"I'll get Carole onto it in the morning. I'm sure we can find some furnished house to let for a few months. But going to stay with Ralph is still the obvious choice."

"I'm not going there. Susan will be coming back soon, I'm sure of it." She sighed, "I guess I'll have to get used to having to tolerate her, of being polite to her, but I really couldn't live under the same roof. I don't even want to be in the same room as her. I can't go there."

I thought: I'm going to have to see Ralph and get him to convince her.

"What state is the divorce in anyway?"

"As of Thursday, he still hadn't replied to my solicitor's letter. So she is drawing up the papers for me to divorce him. On the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. We had to be a little inventive there. His excessive sexual demands was the main one. He's going to end up with me divorcing him for him wanting something that I would give to you in a heartbeat. If only he knew, but he must never ever do so."

"Does she have any idea when he'll get the petition?"

"Well, she says the courts are being pretty efficient at the moment in turning those things around. I'm going in tomorrow afternoon to sign everything, she'll send it off to the Court, and I guess he'll get his copy around the end of the week."

"Then you've got to be out of here by then."

"Why? He's right, he would never hurt me."

I paused and chose my words, "I think there's something of the spoilt child about him. I reckon he could have an awfully big tantrum when someone takes his bag of sweets away."

She smiled, "Yes, there is a bit of little school boy in him. And he was a bit manic the other night, and probably could have worked his way up to being like that again tonight." She paused and sighed, "Maybe you're right. I'll think about it."

"Don't think, act."

She stood and looked at me for some moments, then I said, "I guess I should be going. He's probably timing me, and I don't want to make things even more uncomfortable for you. Will I see you at my place tomorrow evening?"

"Yes." She paused, "Tell me it scares you as much as it scares me."

I smiled, "Probably. But tomorrow night should be easy. I guess we need only talk about the ground rules, what's on our agendas, that sort of thing."

"I'll come over as soon as the boys are well on their way. Eight thirty or nine o'clock."

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said I'd say goodbye to the boys, and then I'll be going. As I passed the gym I could see Peter standing watching me from the shadows inside. I just hoped that Molly had locked the door behind me.

I drove straight to Ralph's. He let me in and offered me a drink, which I declined.

Once we were seated in their lounge, I looked at him, "I agreed to talk with Molly today."

He looked at me, his eyes full of questions, "Good." Was all he said.

"I was hoping that you'd be able to help us a bit. I've suggested that she should come to my flat on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, so that we can talk about all that's happened, how we feel, what we want. But it means she'll be needing a baby sitter....."

"I'd love to. I'll talk to her."

I paused, then I asked, "How was Susan?"

"I wish I knew. I got to the pub early yesterday. Got myself a pint and got her a cider that I knew she'd want. And, as I told you, I laid out the two letters on the table and waited. All very dramatic. She arrived, I stood and kissed her and then we sat down. She looked at the letters, realised what they were, and just looked at me and said, 'I'm not proud of it, but I had to. Any mother would have done the same.' So I pointed out that not every mother would lie and cheat and fraudulently try to break up their own daughter's marriage. She said that Peter had fallen in love with her, and would make a far better husband than you ever would. You couldn't be relied on to put Molly and the children first in your career driven life. I said that was for Molly to decide and not her. I picked up the letters, I told her I found it totally unacceptable, and that if she wanted to put her own marriage right, then she'd better think about things. And I left. I didn't even finish my pint."

"So what are you going to do?"

"That's the bit I wish I knew. I've thought about nothing else since. It isn't easy to throw in the towel on a thirty year marriage. But I don't know what else to do. But visiting the solicitor seems so irrevocable somehow."

"Well, no one's making you."

There was a long pause, "I've been thinking that I might give her one more chance to at least to try to put things right. I thought I might book a straightforward holiday to Madeira. It is meant to be spectacular for flowers. And it's a simple one hop flight. International hotels with international cuisine. Nothing to threaten her at all. Now the best thing would be if she truly apologises, and says she's willing to come with me. If not then I'll go alone, and if she isn't willing to apologise when I get back, well then I'll have my answer, won't I?".

"I guess so. Do you think Susan will be coming back here anytime soon?"

He smiled grimly, "No. Or if she does, then I'll move out. Why?"

"Because I need somewhere for Molly and the boys to go. I don't trust Peter not to make her life a living hell in the coming weeks. I've tried to tell her that she's got to get out. I think she half agrees with me, but doesn't know where to go. I've said I'll see if I can find somewhere, but here is the obvious place. It's not as if she's running away, she just needs to be away from there. But she won't come here for fear that Susan is going to come back."

"I'll go and see her in the morning. I'll talk to her. I should tell her the state of play between Susan and me anyway. Don't worry, Chris, I'll do my best."

"Thanks, Ralph. It's not easy for any of us. It's all a bloody mess."

He gave a hollow laugh, "You can say that again!"

I left not long after that. And later I poured myself a nightcap and wondered. The day didn't go anything like my plan, but it probably ended up in about the same place. But I realised that I was going to have to put a lot of work in to lower expectations.

The next morning in the office, I beat Carole in. But when she delivered my coffee, with the diary under her arm, she asked, "How was your long weekend?"

"Good." And I smiled.

She stood looking at me for some time, then said, "There's a twinkle in your eye. There's been another instalment, hasn't there?" And she just sat down and waited.

I told her everything. Her face went pale and hard when we were talking about Susan and the letter, but beyond saying, with a lot of disgust in her voice, "The stupid woman" she didn't really comment.

I concluded with, "So, Tuesday and Thursday evening are sacrosanct for the next few weeks."

Carole looked at me with a smile and one raised eyebrow, "And Wednesday and Friday mornings are unsuitable for early starts and breakfast meetings?"

"No. They are perfectly fine for early starts and breakfast meetings."

She looked disappointed, but "Oh." was all she said.

"How was your weekend, anyway?" I asked.

Her face turned glum, "Rick was in a bad mood. Some customer had been on at him for how long a job took and how much it cost. I think he'd happily give up the domestic plumbing trade and just work for builders on new houses. It doesn't pay as well, but he's only got a few years to go anyway. He's a bit older than me, you see."

"The job's alright if it wasn't for the customers, eh?"

She smiled, "Something like that." And she opened her diary....

She was back in my office late that afternoon, "Chris, it's half past five and you need to leave."

I smiled at her thoughtfulness, "No I don't. She's not coming round until half past eight at the earliest. It's only for an hour of serious talking, that's all."

Carole looked disappointed, and I suggested, "You could do something for me though. You could get me a couple of pads of paper and a couple of pens or pencils."

"You can't make it that business like! You'll tell me that I've got to be there to take the minutes next."

"I want to make sure that we talk properly. I don't want it to just dissolve into a kiss and make-up session, because that won't work and would be the last meeting we ever have." I looked her in the eyes, "Trust me."

She went off and came back with pads and pencils which she laid in my open briefcase. She looked at me, "It's up to you, Chris, and you must do it your way. But if you want my advice, it's about both of you, it has to be give and take."

I sighed, "You're right. It's because I'm so damned nervous. But, at least for tonight, I want to keep some degree of formality. And I want to get a list of all the aspects of the whole mess, so that we can make sure we talk about everything."

Even though I worked to six thirty, I was home with plenty of time to eat a micro-waved dinner, and have a shower. By eight thirty I was showered, shaved and dressed as the epitome of the modern, independent bachelor, but I could do a very good impression of a nervous wreck waiting my fate. I busied myself just checking that everything was set up correctly. I laid out the pads of paper and pencils on opposite sides of the dining table. I left the wine in the fridge, but I laid out glasses and a bottle of mineral water.

She arrived just before nine o'clock. She was wearing a light summer raincoat and looked good. As I kissed her on the cheek, I smelt the familiar perfume that I associated with her. "That's better. You smell right somehow."

She smiled, "Anais Anais. I had to go and buy it."

As I looked questioningly at her, she continued, "I upset you by wearing a perfume that Peter had given me the other day. So I thought I'd better go and get the one you used to buy me."

"But I'd have sworn that you wore that on the first night we met after I came back here. When you came to the old flat to talk about the boys."

"I did. But when we had lunch that time I used the very last I had of a bottle you gave me. I remember saying to myself: not to worry, if everything goes right, he'll buy me a new bottle before the month was out. That was before it all went wrong that day."

"Anyway. Come in. Let me take your coat. Would you like a glass of white wine?"

As I took her coat, I realised that underneath she was wearing a dark blue skirt and a light blue blouse. I recognised the skirt as one she'd bought in my day. I used to think she looked great in it, but it was a bit short, it came about five or six inches above the knee. She hardly ever wore it, because she used to say it was too short for a wife and mother. That used to annoy me, she's had great legs, but what really annoyed me was that it was the same length as it was in the store. Why did she buy it if it was too short?

She said she would have a glass of wine, and when I came back from the kitchen with the bottle, I found her just standing looking at the table, laid out for our talk. She turned and looked at me, I couldn't read the look in her eyes, but she determinedly went and sat in one of the armchairs, turning her back on the table.

"I thought it would be helpful if we kept it a bit formal. It might ease the emotions a bit." I said as I poured two glasses of wine.

"I'm not here to negotiate a treaty. I'm here because you invited me to talk and build something new."

"Sorry." I answered, "But, I think I might like to take notes." I passed her a glass of wine, picked up a pad and pencil and sat in the other armchair.

"Before you start, Chris, I've got some news. I signed the divorce petition this afternoon. Now it's down to the Courts."

"You sound very matter of fact. Surely it was a bit emotional?"

"No, no it wasn't. Maybe it should have been, or it will hit me later, but it wasn't." She paused, but I couldn't see her trying to hide any emotion, and she continued, "Ralph came to see me this afternoon. He told me that he's really having difficulty getting used to the idea of what Susan did, and he's beginning to think about divorce. I really don't know what I think about that, my parents getting divorced because of the way she behaved when we got divorced. I know that I have a real problem with her, I'd quite like to hear that she's had a taste of her own medicine ...... is that really bad of me? ..... but I want him to be happy. And I don't know whether he'd be most happy reconciling with her and accepting what she did, or in divorcing her in disgust."

"Well, I tend to think that people should keep out of other people's marriages. She should have kept out of ours, and we should keep out of theirs. But I won't be too upset if I don't see too much of her in the future."

"That's how I feel. But he's my Dad, and he's only tried to do his best." Tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Come on, drink some wine and wipe your eyes. There's nothing you can do or should do about Ralph and Susan. It's all a bloody mess, but we're here to talk about our future, and as far as I'm concerned, that's far more important."

She wiped her eyes and smiled. As she did, I noticed that her breasts moved softly under her blouse, she wasn't wearing a bra. But whilst I had lustful thoughts, she continued, "Yes, it is. But it has one good side. Ralph says he's not going to let her come back until he's made up his mind. So, I can move out and go and live there, at least temporarily."

I smiled, I really felt relieved. "That really is good news. When?"

"ASAP. We thought tomorrow."

"Do you need help? If I can get time off, I will."

"No. Ralph and I can do it with a few trips in the two cars. But I do want to take everything that I value and want to keep. The rest, well he can keep it or sell it, whatever the settlement is."

That reminded me that I wanted to know what the financial settlement was going to be. I wanted the bastard to at least pay, preferably heavily, for his part in all of this. But, maybe tonight wasn't the night for showing my vengeful side.

So, instead, I asked, "So, have you thought about what you want to talk about over these meetings?"

She leant back in the chair, crossing her legs, and allowing my eyes to see up her skirt. I glanced up to her face, and suddenly realised that she knew what she had done and what effect it had on me.

She looked at me, "I'm happy for you to take the lead. We'll do whatever you want." And she uncrossed her legs and crossed them again, the other way around.

"OK." I smiled, "Well, for a start, I'd like you to do me a favour. Dress a little more conservatively for these sessions. Please."

She looked affronted, "But .... But I thought you'd like the way I dressed. It was you who always said that you liked me in this skirt, you used to say that I had good legs. I thought that if I wear this skirt...."

"With no bra? The only times I ever knew you to go without a bra was when you wanted something, or if I convinced you to do so."

She looked defeated now, "Oh! I'm sorry. I thought .... I hoped .... If only we could .... You know. Well then ..... everything would start to go back together between us."

"You think that our relationship was just sex? You know that's not true. OK, I'll admit it was an important part of it, and I guess it is at the heart of what went wrong, but just jumping into bed together won't solve anything." I paused, and smiled, "Even if it would be rather nice. In fact I can't think of a nicer way of spending the evening."

She looked rather ashamed, "You're right. I know you're right." She paused, obviously thinking, "But, I would like to wear slightly sexy, special clothes. I'm meeting the man I love, the man I want. I need to know that at least I'm looking good if I'm going to have to tear myself apart, and face my own worst emotions, and worst deeds."

"OK. I can hardly object to you looking good. But I wish you wouldn't use that word, that you love me." She looked hurt at that, but I continued, "I just don't see, how, after all this time.... Well I suppose if that's what you feel, and I suppose you should say what you feel, that's what these meetings are all about. But it doesn't make any sense to me."

There was a long pause, whilst we both drank some wine, and I topped up both glasses. Once I'd sat down I asked, "So what is there on your list to talk about?"

She looked surprised, "I thought this was for you to talk about whatever you want. I don't have any issues. I made the most dreadful mistakes, I'm guilty and mystified at how I acted, but that's what I'll be seeing Heather about. This time is for you."

"So you don't want to know about Helene? Or what my relationship to Myra was all about? Or why I never came to find you when we split? Or what I did before I met Helene, or even just where in the world my travels took me?"

"Oh! Yes. Some of that plagues me, but I thought I didn't have any right to ask."

"No. The point of us meeting is so that you can ask all and every question you have. Although you may not like the answer to some of the questions I just suggested."

"Well, I want to know about all you suggested, except the one about why you never came to me. At about the two year mark that one really got to me. I went through a period where I was really angry with you, but then I realised that I never gave you any reason to try. I didn't mean to be so that you thought I was in love with Peter, but I know I might have given that impression. I'm sorry."

I was writing notes, "Anything else?"

"I guess I ought to think about it."

I looked at her, she was looking strained, and I know I felt strained. "We ought to do something about making these evenings a little easier on ourselves. Any chance that you could get here earlier?"

"Well, if we are living at Ralph's, I know that he'd happily feed and look after the boys. So any time you like."

I got up and went and got something from the drawer of a desk in the corner of the room. "Here's a key to this place. Let yourself in anytime you want. And we can eat here before we start. That might help and there is something deeply important about sharing a meal."

She smiled. "I'd like that. But you didn't tell me, what are your questions? You might as well write them down as well."

And for some time we worked on my list of ideas. She was quite constructive, and didn't say No to anything. At one point we got into an impromptu discussion on Susan and how she'd behaved. Molly told me that there were several times when Susan had talked her out of coming to see me, but only the twice that she'd already told me about where she had actually physically stopped her.

I asked her, "Why? Why, for God's sake, did you let her talk you out of it?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. She seemed to think it was for the best. That you had to make up your own mind. I guess I believed her. It doesn't make sense to me either."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Is killing your mother-in-law matricide-in-law?"

She smiled and said, "Well, I guess that's it for this evening, isn't it? Unless ....." And she crossed her legs again. But this time she was smiling and I knew she was joking.

GaryAPB
GaryAPB
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