Back to Him? Ch. 04-05

In the morning she again watched him leave for his run, and decided she would cook breakfast. She was in her nightie with her old apron wrapped around her, when Lawrence returned. The last year seemed to disappear and he came up behind her encircling her waist with his hands, their bodies fitting together. She stopped her cooking and reached behind her pulling their bodies together. Her head back resting on his shoulder. His hand started exploring her body in small circles carefully not wanting to push too far. She started rubbing her ass against him, and their bodies were alive. In those moments there was nothing between them, they were just two lovers. But a burning smell awakened her to the burning eggs and the fear of giving herself to this man.

"You, get out of here, shoooo. You're burning my food." She started again with new eggs while he showered. They ate breakfast together, still thinking of the sensations they had awakened in each other.

They said good-bye properly this morning without angry words or expectations, and with a soft kiss. He drove out, and she stayed to get ready at their house and see what it felt like, to be queen of her own castle again. Three days left to decide if returning to Lawrence would stick.

She wondered through the rooms of the house without worrying about Lawrence watching. She made her way to the master bedroom. Lawrence still didn't make the bed. His side of the bed filled with his own things. Her side empty. She kept her love letters from Lawrence in her smallest drawer. She pulled them out, lay on her side of the bed and read them over. Memories tumbled through her mind, and she closed her eyes holding the letters to her chest. She didn't mean to fall asleep but when she awoke she realized she'd slept another two hours, and that she was late for work.

She phoned work, and tucked a letter into her pocket, and quickly finished getting ready and left the house. She reread the letter on her breaks, letting herself remember her first love and how it had felt. She needed to work later since she'd arrived late.

When she arrived home Lawrence was already there, and greeted her with a kiss. He was grinning. "I know what you were doing this morning." He pulled a letter from behind his back, and started reading it to her outloud. She blushed, and tried to pull the letter away from him. He must be feeling very sure of himself.

"I forgot to put those away, didn't I?" She gathered the letters up and returned them to the drawer. He followed her, "Don't look so smug."

"What should we do tonight? You get to choose."

She still wasn't comfortable sitting alone with Lawrence alone for too long and tried to think of something to do out of the house. "How about miniature golf?" Lawrence argreed and they had a great evening just relaxing, being themselves, and not really facing what would happen in two days.

Back to Him? Chapter 5 By Victoria Whita

Joanie again awoke to cook breakfast. She dressed first and didn't let Lawrence come up behind her. Lawrence took the hint and made his way to shower waiting for his kiss until afterwards. She was cool towards Lawrence that evening too, and decided to retire early to read her book with just a kiss good night. Tomorrow was the day and her fear was taking over again. If she kept the divorce she was losing something valuable, if she cancelled the divorce she was opening herself up again to a man who had betrayed her.

As she read her book the rain started, and it lulled her to sleep. In the middle of the night thunder and lightning added to the rain. One loud crack burst through the sky and woke Joanie up from her sleep. She couldn't remember where she was, and couldn't think what was making the loud noise. She screamed when the thunder rolled again.

The light came on and Joanie saw Lawrence at the door. He must have heard her scream. She was on her bed crying, and he came to her side.

"What wrong, Jo?" His one hand rubbing her back, the other pulling her hair away from her face. She leaned into him, feeling foolish for her fear.

"The thunder woke me from my sleep, and I couldn't remember where I was, and I just got scared." The storm continued overhead.

"It's okay, I'm here now." He stroked her back until her tears subsided. "Let's get a hot chocolate and sit in the living room together until the storm stops?"

She was still shaken up and willingly agreed. He prepared the hot chocolate, and she sat on the couch. She realized she hadn't looked at the newly organized pictures yet. "Where are the photos?" She called to the kitchen.

"In the sliding cabinets under the TV," he replied.

She pulled out three albums and opened them on the coffee table. Here they were the pictures they'd always meant to organize. He had lovingly put them together. He brought the steaming drinks and they sat side by side on the couch sipping hot chocolate. They talked about the memories, and she felt her shakiness leave her.

After three albums, the storm still raged, and Joanie started to get tired again. "Lawrence, thank you for organizing our pictures. Thank you for renovating the house. Thank you for waiting for me to find my way home."

"Oh Jo, no, thank you for coming back." She leaned in and kissed him. "Does this mean you forgive me?" She nodded and kissed him again. The soft kiss turned urgent, and their hands started moving to explore places not touched for a year. They fell back on the couch and continued their kisses and exploration. Both awakening fully by the claps of the thunder and the feel of their bodies pressed together.

"Come with me to our bed," he asked.

Oh, she wanted to. She wanted to be this man's wife in every way. But...she couldn't say yes. What was holding her back? She pushed him away, so they were both sitting up again. Lawrence's disappointment showed through in his eyes. How could she explain what she was feeling?

"Lawrence, tonight I've forgiven you but I haven't forgiven myself," she spoke the words softly. "I wonder what's wrong with me that you would have had an affair? I wonder what I could have done differently? Why didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I do anything? Did I nag too much? Do you want me to loose weight? Do you want me to wear more make-up? Do you want me to pick out more lingerie?" The tears started again. This time Lawrence was already beside her, and held her closely.

"Honey, I had no idea you were taking all of this on yourself? It's not your fault. Honey, listen to me. I love you just the way you are, and I don't want you to change. Things aren't always going to be perfect between us, and sometimes you're going to annoy me and I'm going to annoy you. We can't change that. But there's nothing you could do that would justify me spending the night with another woman. It was all me, and I'm sorry." She let his words soak in, and looked at him with bright eyes.

"Next time we're going through a rough spot can we talk about it more? If you're not happy Lawrence, I want you to come to me and discuss it. If I take you for granted, or if I nag too much. I want to know, and want to be the wife you need and want me to be.

"I've come too close to losing you to take you for granted now." She finished.

He stood up and reached down and scooped her up into his arms. She giggled and held on tightly. He carried her into their bedroom. It had been a year since the springs on the bed had squeaked.

"Tomorrow, we are going to go cancel that divorce, but tonight I'm going to make love to my beautiful, amazing, forgiving, one-and-only lover." She giggled and delighted in his words.

"Tomorrow we are going to pack up my apartment and I'll move back home, but tonight the only thing I want is to wrap my body around my one-and-only husband."

Their kisses turned to passion, and their passion to ecstacy. It was better than their first passion had been. Their love had more then just survived, it was deeper, richer, and stronger now. Their bodies remembering already discovered pleasures, and their caresses discovering new delights.

"I'm home." Joanie whispered as she clung to her husband tangled in the sheets with tears in her eyes.

"Welcome home!" Lawrence moaned in response as their bodies melded into one.